KNOT: A Wake Family Novel (8 page)

Nora—Friday, February 15, 2008

H
e was trying to figure out what type of sordid things I was into, but it wasn’t really that scandalous. Not to me.

“Yes, both of them.”

I didn’t usually confide in people who weren’t part of my inner circle about my sex life, but it was refreshing to see his reaction. Probably a bit of an asshole move, but one that would surely be effective. He didn’t look like a man who’d give up easily, even though he clearly wasn’t there to step on anyone’s toes.

I’d been keenly aware of him staring at me all night, and the feeling undressed me. I was reckless because of it.

I knew his type. He wouldn’t quit until he got what he wanted. I’d use whatever tool I had to make him stop. The most effective tool is always honestly.

He was incredibly handsome—in a polished, dominant man kind of way.

Power tie.

Power suit.

Power stare.

And, coincidentally, the pull he had on me willed me to his side against everything I believed in. Against everything I wanted—or didn’t want, rather.

Never had I approached a man who was that obviously interested in me.
Never
. I didn’t typically respond to that behavior, and normally it would have put me off. Still, the more I studied him from afar, it almost appeared like it was all an act.

He wanted to
look
powerful. He wanted to
seem
like a giant, but it only made him look flawed.

Those were what brought me to the bar. His flaws. His sexy, wayward coolness, but all along he’d looked like he was warring with himself. I wondered what side would win.

I wouldn’t let it get out of hand, and I didn’t think I’d be able to withstand the intensity of him anyway. I couldn’t tolerate being so fixated on. It made me uncomfortable, and I was going to put an end to it. My way.

That’s why I preferred couples. There was always someone else there to take the focus off of me. I could participate. I could watch—something that really turned me on—but mostly, I could just blend into the mix. Be an ingredient.

Hands. Bodies. Mouths. It was all ambiguous, yet pleasurable. It was the way I was made. I didn’t want to be someone’s soul’s desire. I wanted to be touched and teased, and then left alone.

I deeply cared for and loved every one of my lovers. I loved that some of them were in relationships, some were singles like me, and in a group, everything was always new. Different. Exciting.

However, things were always arranged—rarely was there a chance encounter—which left almost no need for worry. It’s just the way it was for me. I hadn’t had sex—one on one—in years. Not since early in college.

I wasn’t ashamed of what I preferred, and I wouldn’t compromise what made me happy for someone else. Especially not this stranger—sexy as he was.

I watched his body language as he tried to figure me out, and he took his time doing it. Careful not to say the wrong thing.

Squint. Swallow. Nod. Scrutinize. Rationalize. Diagnose.

That’s what most people do.

Obviously, to them, I’d had a bad sexual experience when I was younger to have such odd preferences. False. I’d had a great sexual history, even way back when I’d been with monogamous partners. I loved sex.

Or sometimes the propagated reason was that my father had abandoned me.
Daddy issues.

That wasn’t true either. Granted, I hadn’t seen a lot of him as a young girl, but he was around a lot as I got older. We’d had a great relationship, despite how far apart we were most of the time.

Reagan’s jaw ticked. It looked like frustration. His eyes looked behind the bar, then out to the crowd, then back to me.

After a minute, he asked inquisitively, “So you, the woman, and Ives are in a relationship?”

That was a trickier question.

“No. It’s a little more complicated than that, I’m not that interested in talking about it. Let’s talk about you?”

He huffed a little and leaned back. As cocky as he seemed, I’m sure the topic of himself would be one of his favorite subjects. That would kill some time. Although the party was a huge success, I was ready for it to end.

I was going to Janel and Ives’ new brownstone after the clean-up was finished. They’d invited me over, and it had been ages since I’d relaxed and enjoyed some companionship. I’d been wound up like a top, having finished the wedding, traveled, and then pulled off the party that was currently winding down.

Besides, I hadn’t seen them in a long time, I’d missed them.

He didn’t want—or need—to know any of that.

As I predicted, he seemed to relax a little. “Me? I’m here by myself. I work for Price-McClellan. We do a lot of business with Mr. Bergeron’s company. I’m sure I’ll be seeing him more now that he’s moved to town.”

That’s what he was hung up on?
The business part
. No way.

“Yes, but…”

He straightened and when he did, a whoosh of his scent swept over me. “But what, Nora? You said you didn’t want me staring. I apologized. You said you weren’t interested, and I was leaving you alone.”

Maybe he wasn’t relaxed after all. He looked almost contrite but more frustrated.

I tried to interject again. “But…”

“But your also with a man I’ll be doing business with, and I’m not really sure what you’re into, but I’m into something much different. I know that. So why did you come over, why are you still looking at me, and why didn’t you treat me like you did everyone else? The pretend smile. The laugh. Why did I get
this
version? And why are
you
still standing here?”

I was speechless. At a total loss. My brain faltered, but my body was thrumming with adrenaline. Or desire. Or anger. I was confused. I didn’t like it.

Yeah. This conversation isn’t going anywhere. He’s so dramatic.

His eyes were relentless, and they stared deep into mine, but I couldn’t take that either, and I looked away seeking refuge. From across the room, I saw Janel trying to get my attention. I was relieved.

“You’re right,” I said, happy for the reason to move along. I looked into his face, I attempted to focus on his mouth, but he thwarted that by ducking so that I met his gaze. “Everything you said. You’re right. I need to be going anyway. I have a lot to do. I’m sorry.”

There was a little flare of something in his dark brown eyes as I acquiesced him. He damn sure liked hearing he was right.

Uppity tyrant.

“All right then. It was nice to meet you. Enjoy your night,” he said, and to punctuate that we were done, he turned and returned his attention behind the bar.

Fuck him.

I walked off. He only reaffirmed my thoughts on men like him.

I should send him a thank you.

I found Janel and Ives near the front entrance coat check.

“I think we’re going to head out, Nora,” Janel said as she clung loosely to Ives’ side. “We’re ready to get home.” It was clear what they’d be up to just outside of the building, and a shiver ran through me knowing what I’d be walking into when I arrived at their home when I was finished there.

Going easy on the cleaning crew to gain a little more clout with them, I’d volunteered to stay late and help make sure everything got back to mint condition before I left for the night.

“Sure. I shouldn’t be long,” I assured her and leaned in to give Ives a kiss on the cheek. Only God knew why I wondered if Reagan watched us.

“Oh, good. You’re still coming. We thought maybe you’d changed your mind.” She wrapped an arm around him tightly, and he snaked an arm around her back to pull her even closer. Her hand rubbed his chest. “You have the key I gave you?”

“I have it in my purse.” I’d thought about simply going upstairs that night, but I looked forward to letting go for a while. “I’m still up for it. I’ll just need a shower.”

She beamed.

“Whatever you want, Nora,” Ives reassured in his Swedish accent that I’d originally been attracted to. He was still as handsome as when I’d introduced him to Janel. They looked happy. “We’ll take care of you tonight. You’ve been worked too hard.”

“Well, we’ll see if it all pays off, won’t we?” They knew I was vying for the opening at the Chicago Harbor. I hoped that my efforts all week hadn’t been for nothing.

Sympathetically, Janel’s petite frame reached up and kissed my cheek. “We’ll see you later. You still have the address in your phone?”

She was my oldest and dearest friend, strange as others may have perceived our relationship, it was the longest one I’d ever had by choice.

I trusted her.

“Yes. I love you guys. I’ll see you in a while. Have a bath ready for me, please,” I requested desperately.

They looked into each other’s eyes and their salacious grins reflected on the other’s face.

“Deal,” they said in unison.

I just had to get through another hour or two.

Why isn’t he leaving yet?

The kitchen was closing up party details. The bartenders were prepping for shut-down.

Mister Intense was still at the bar.

Remove chair covers. Wait for dining to collect the last of the table pieces.

I wonder if Reagan Warren had ever had a threesome?
Knock it off.

Move tables. Move chairs.

Check my phone to make sure I really did have the address.

It was there.

Good, I need a night off, and maybe a long, lazy morning.

Janel and Ives looked good.

Why is he still sitting there?

Consider having him escorted out.

Pray the bartender would ask him to leave.

No such luck, but he left anyway.

I’d love to watch him fuck someone.
Stop.

Take a few breaths.

Save it for Janel and Ives.

Bonus, I don’t have to vacuum.

Make sure to bring in thank yous in the form of pastries on Monday for the staff.

The meeting is Monday.

Don’t think about it now.

Just finish this.

Then let Janel and Ives fuck me until I can’t think any more. About work
or him.

Check the bar again. He’s really gone.

Dismiss the hint of disappointment.

Try not to think about how his Adam’s apple bobbed when I knew he was thinking about me with them.

Daydream of him joining us.

Stop
. That’s not even possible.

Collect my purse from the office. Log my hours.

“Goodnight, guys.” I liked working with them.

I hope the meeting with Michael goes well on Monday.

I want this job.

I want to take these shoes off.

I want to sink into a hot bath and forget the last three weeks.

On my way out, thoughts of Reagan stomped through my mind again, and like my thoughts were words and I’d spoken of the Devil himself, I heard his voice.

“Want to share a cab?”

I stopped short of the front doors, shut my eyes and took a breath, then turned to a small seating area off to the side.

I backed up a few steps and looked around the fig tree and saw him. Sitting there like he didn’t have a care in the world, one leg crossed over the other. An arm stretched across the back of the sofa. His jacket unbuttoned.

I needed a cab, but I was sure I didn’t need to share one with him. I thought about walking out, but there was a part of me that must have been out of her mind, because I asked, “Where are you headed?”

He gave me a hellish grin and rose to his feet. “Near North and Clybourn,” he answered.

“Well, I don’t know my way around here very well. I’m going to North Racine Avenue. Is it even practical to share?”

Say no.

“Probably not,” he said and walked closer. It didn’t seem to bother him.

“I’m not going home with you,” I blurted as he came to my side. I was tired, and my defenses were low, but I couldn’t avoid the whoosh I felt in my belly from his nearness. He was so damn handsome.

“I didn’t ask you to. I asked you to share a cab.”

Technicality
.

“Are you sure that’s what you meant?”

He tipped his head to the side as if to beg me for a little more credit than what I gave him. “I always say what I mean.”

“Then I’ll share a cab with you, but it’s dropping you off first.”

I regretted the decision, but it was made before I’d given it enough thought. I needed a cab, and he was so nice to look at.

“Good, I’ll get one for us. It’s cold. Stay right here.”

He was so bossy, but I didn’t have it in me to argue just for the sake of hearing my voice. “Fine. I’ll wait by the door,” I agreed. Besides, with him outside, I wouldn’t have to be so close to him. The more distance, the better.

I was already half turned on by the thoughts I’d had of him, and of Janel and Ives, and the four of us.

He walked out, and I watched as he sauntered to the curb, lifting his large hand in the air.

What a shame.

The more I watched, the more I rounded off his edges. He wasn’t that bad; he was just intense.

I was new in the city, and I needed to chill-out. Not everyone was going to be like me. I could always use a friend, or at the very least a new business acquaintance. If I got the job, I’d need to know people.