Lancaster Hearts (Out of Darkness - Amish Connections (An Amish of Lancaster County Saga)) (11 page)

The two children stood together and ran for the door.

“
Check for the pulse,
”
Judith ordered.

Isaac felt at his neck and then said,
“
I can't feel it,
”
he said, flustered.
“
But you check. Maybe I'm wrong.
”

Judith repeated the process, noting how the Deacon's lips had taken on a bluish-white cast and that his chest neither moved, nor could she feel any beat in his neck to indicate he had a pulse. She reached down into her apron and pulled out the mouth protec
tor. Her hands were too sweaty and it slipped from her fingers, sliding across the floor.
“
Forget it,
”
Judith muttered, and leaned the deacon's head back, pinched the nose and gave him two long breaths. Then she straddled his stomach and began the compress
ions.

“
I'll do the next breaths,
”
Isaac said, and Judith looked over at him with gratitude. She continued until her arms were aching.
“
We'll have to switch,
”
she said.

“
Ja.
”

Judith and Isaac alternated breath and heartbeat for the deacon, the prayers and conversation of the others in the room becoming a dull noise that hardly penetrated the aching of her body and fear in her heart that in spite of everything she'd learned, in spite of how hard she'd tried, she and Isaac were failing.

Isaac took over the chest compressions again, and Judith, giving the two breaths, knelt to Deacon Hilty's ear.
“
Please, you have to fight,
”
she said, her voice thick with tears.
“
You have a wife, and a baby coming, and four other kinner. You can't go to God's hands yet and leave them alone. You just can't.
”
She pleaded with him between breaths, checking his pulse periodically, praying that it had returned, but feeling nothing under her fingers.

Judith couldn't look away from the deacon, so pale and still, their work and prayers falling like sand upon his unresponsive body. Had he already died? Where was the ambulance?

“
Judith--it's been over five minutes!
”
Her mamm said.
“
How long do you keep doing this?
”

“
I'm not stopping,
”
Judith said, and breathed again for the deacon.

A hand gripped Judith's shoulder, and she flinched.
“
Let me help.
”
It was Rachel. Surprised, Judith said,
“
Breathe for him, and talk to him. I'll help Isaac with the chest compressions.
”

Judith and Isaac alternated doing the chest compressions. When the ambulance came with blaring siren and red flashing lights, Judith's arms were limp noodles and her back, shoulders, and forearms a massive, throbbing ache. One of the EMTs, a uniformed man
with a long, deep brown beard, said,
“
We'll take it from here,
”
in English. For a moment, Judith didn't understand. He repeated himself, this time in Pennsylvania Dutch. Shocked, Judith looked up.
“
You're Amish!
”

“
Ja,
”
he said, and then after checking the deacon over briefly, had her to move aside. He continued with the CPR as a man and a woman came running in with a gurney and Englischer medical equipment. Judith swayed, the exhaustion catching up to her as she was left with nothing to do but watch. The three worked together to get Deacon Hilty up onto the gurney.
“
We're going to need to intubate,
”
the
Amish man
said, still performing CPR as the others ran the deacon's gurney to the ambulance.

Judith and Isaac followed, with their parents behind.

The EMTs lifted the gurney, Deacon Hilty atop, into the ambulance. The female EMT, her dark brown hair pulled back in a bun, asked,
“
Are you two his children?
”

“
Nee. Deacon Hilty's wife and kinner are at her sister's,
”
Judith explained.
“
It's about an hour by buggy. He was visiting today to help Rachel's daed in the fields.
”

“
Okay, I need someone to contact them and tell them to go to Lancaster Hospital. I've got room for one to ride along.
”

“
Judith works at the hospital,
”
Isaac said.
“
Go ahead.
”
 

Judith gave him a quick, grateful smile and climbed up. As horrible as it would be to see her efforts with the deacon be in vain, it would be worse to be left behind to wait.

Judith did her best to stand back from the frantic work that was going on around her. They'd put a heart monitor on the deacon, but it was silent.
“
V-Fib,
”
someone said. Judith recognized some of what the EMTs were saying from her own conversations with th
e nurses at the hospital, but so much of it went over her head.

The quick, calm, and competent actions of the EMTs awed Judith. The Amish man especially impressed her. She'd heard of the occasional Mennonite working with an ambulance team, but not an Amish man. This one looked to be in his mid-thirties, smooth skinned except for an eleven-shaped wrinkle between his brows.

“
Defibrillator,
”
the Amish EMT ordered.

Dear God, Judith prayed, please don't take him so soon. He has a kinner, and a baby on the way. Please don't let it all have been in vain. Please.

There was a terrifying moment of silence after shock was applied, and then the deacon's pulse sounded through the ambulance, a steady metronome.
“
We've got a good pulse!
”
the Amish EMT said.

Judith breathed back a sob. Her eyes stung with joy.
“
He's alive?
”

Dear God, thank you!

Isaac and his daed stood with the other families and watched the ambulance leave. Isaac's arms and shoulders ached from the CPR, and he felt like he'd just spent an hour running. Looking at his hands, he realized he was shaking.

Dear God, please let the deacon live, Isaac prayed.

Suddenly, Isaac was wrapped in warm arms.
“
Son, son.
”
His daed was crying.
“
Thank God! I can't believe--that was--
”
Jacob's words fell into incoherency, and his grip tightened as he kissed the top of his son's head.
“
I love you, son.
”

“
Me too,
”
Isaac said, a bit awkwardly.
“
I just hope we helped.
”

“
Ja.
”
Jacob released his hold.
“
Is that what you learned in those Englischer classes?
”

Isaac nodded.

“
And there was an
Amish man
, helping. I've never heard of such a thing. Is this something you'd like to do with your life?
”

Everything that had happened since Deacon Hilty's collapse blurred into a series of sensations: the deacon's damp lips, the stillness of his chest, and the indistinct terror that Isaac was forgetting something, defying God or worse, failing to serve him by forgetting some crucial step. If it hadn't been for Judith and her steady calm, Isaac was certain he would have given up well before the ambulance had arrived. Unlike Judith, who had not only remembered the steps, but literally begged the deacon's soul to remember life, Isaac had merely followed. It had been worthy, and he'd helped, but he couldn't imagine the horror of doing such things every day.

“
Nee, daed,
”
Isaac said.
“
If it wasn't for Judith...
”

“
I see.
”

Suddenly, Isaac became aware of the others around them. Rachel herded the kinner back to the kitchen with her mamm, while her daed and Esther spoke in harsh tones on the porch. At the end of the driveway, Hezekiah jogged towards them, his shoulders slumped forward in obvious exhaustion.

“
Did they
come?
Is Deacon Hilty okay?
”
he shouted, when he was close enough to be heard.
“
I stopped one of the Englischer cars, and they had a portable phone!
”

“
Ja,
”
Jacob said.
“
You did
well
. They took the deacon away, and Judith went with them. We should see about arranging a ride to the hospital. And contacting his wife.
”

Hezekiah nodded.
“
But he's going to be okay, right?
”

Jacob sighed.
“
That's in God's hands at this point. But these kinner certainly made the difference. I couldn't be more proud!
”

Isaac's throat was full and thick, and he could hardly breathe.
“
Really?
”

“
Ja, son,
”
Jacob said.
“
Takes a man to admit when he's wrong, and I was wrong, both about you and Judith. Just seeing how quickly God might decide to take any of us, and how powerfully you three fought to keep the deacon alive, it makes me realize how I've
allowed my own priorities to become warped. We aren't choosing to keep from Englischer technologies because we hate progress, or because we're afraid of things we don't understand. We do it to maintain strong families, a strong community, and to have a cl
oser relationship with God. If I drive you kinner away because God draws you to a different path, that puts me in violation of the spirit of the Ordnung, no matter how stalwartly I might keep to the letter.
”

“
Daed--
”
Isaac swallowed. His eyes were wet, and tears flowed down his face, dampening his chin.

“
When we return home, I'm going to write your brother a letter. We'll have him and his wife over for dinner. I know my son will respect our laws while in our home, and I can only offer him the same respect for how he chooses to live this life God has given him. If I've done my job well, then as the seed of my heart, he will not fail to give good fruit, and if I have failed, then...
”

Isaac threw his arms around his daed, wet cheeks meeting in the embrace.
“
You haven't failed.
”

“
Danki,
”
Jacob murmured. When they separated, wiping the healing tears from their faces with their sleeves, Jacob said,
“
Now I must find your Judith's mamm and apologize to her as well. I've been unforgivably rude.
”

It was with a soaring heart that Isaac followed his daed back into Rachel's house. His daed's change of heart seemed nothing short of a miracle. Now if only God willed another miracle happen for Deacon Hilty, so that he might be returned to a full and long life.

If it is Your will,
Isaac prayed.
If it is Your will.

When they arrived at the hospital, the EMTs passed Deacon Hilty, now murmuring incoherently, to the waiting ER doctors. Judith followed, feeling dragged along like a kite with a frayed string. It was early evening, and while Judith worked cleaning the patient floors and not the Emergency Room, the antiseptic and lemon cleaner smell comforted her.

One of the nurses, a stocky man with military cropped hair and a
scar
in the
cartilage
of his right nostril, intercepted Judith as she followed along behind the gurney.
“
I'm Bert. Are you family?
”

Judith shook her head.
“
I'm a family friend. Is Deacon Hilty going to make it?
”

“
He's more stable now.
”
Bert steered Judith from the hallway towards the emergency waiting room.
“
I need you to come with me. Do you have any way to contact his family?
”

“
My mamm will send someone by buggy to where his wife is staying. She's ill though, waiting for child.
”

“
I see. You're Amish then?
”

“
Ja.
”

“
It truly was a miracle that the ambulance was able to get there in time.
”

“
We gave CPR until the ambulance came. When will we know what happened?
”

“
You did the CPR!
”

“
Ja. Me, Isaac, and Rachel. We took a class at the community center.
”

“
God bless you.
”
Bert gave her a firm clap on the shoulder with his palm.
“
Whatever happens, you three made all the difference. You should know that.
”

Judith said, her chest thick with emotion.
“
Danki.
”

“
I'll get you something to drink,
”
Bert said.
“
How do you feel about apple juice? Or would you prefer coffee?
”

“
Juice is fine.
”

Judith sat in the waiting room for another hour, working through three packages of apple juice. Another family sat across from her, a man as old as Judith's daed when he'd died, and two kinner. They were well tanned with black eyes and hair. One of the kinner, a girl of about ten, sat on the chair, her head leaned against the man's arm, playing an Englischer hand-held game. Her right foot was folded under her rear, her left leg hanging from the chair. The boy sat on the man's other side, his knees to his chest as he stared at the wall behind Judith's shoulder.

“
Papa?
”
the boy asked, looking up at the man, said then something else in rapid Spanish.

The boy's daed wrapped his arm around the child. Though Judith learned some Spanish from her coworker, most of what he said was so jumbled as to be incomprehensible, excepting the word
“
Dios,
”
which Judith knew to be God.

Judith closed her eyes and prayed for Deacon Hilty, and also for this family, who must have been waiting for news as vital and terrifying.

After a minute of praying, someone touched Judith's hand.

“
Senorita?
”
The girl stood in front of her, the game abandoned on the couch.

Judith nodded.

Then in accented English, she said,
“
Did your mama have an accident too?
”

“
No,
”
Judith said.
“
Just a friend, but maybe we can all pray together?
”

“
Si! Si!
”
The girl, whose name was Manuela, introduced Judith to her family, and after a halting explanation of how her mamm had been crossing a street and hit by a car, they all joined hands in a rough circle and prayed for each other, their families, and
the health of those who were in the doctors' care. When they had finished, Judith offered to get them all juice and crackers from the nurses' station. She returned, arms full of donated largess, to see them speaking with the Amish EMT from before.

“
Si! Judith!
”
Manuela stood and waved Judith over.

Judith dashed as best she could over the slippery white linoleum towards the group. Would Deacon Hilty live to see his children? Had all of it been in vain?

The Amish EMT smiled as Judith approached, setting her nerves at ease.
“
Deacon Hilty! Is he alive?
”

“
Ja,
”
the EMT's smile widened.
“
You're the one who performed the CPR, right?
”

Judith nodded.
“
Me, Rachel, and Isaac.
”

“
Your deacon had a blockage in his heart. They were able to medicate him and give him a catheterization to remove the clot. He's already asking about his wife. If you hadn't been there though, he'd surely have died before we could arrive to get him to a hospital. You three kinner saved that man's life.
”

“
Thank God!
”
Judith overflowed in joyful tears. For a moment, it was as though she had stepped back in time to that day in the blistering heat, staring helplessly as her daed faded away. The sick weight of failure that Judith had always carried in that mom
ent disappeared, as though dissolved by God's own hand, and she realized that this was her sign. God had called Judith to use the power of her hands, heart, and mind to safeguard life, as best she could within the boundaries of His own will. Looking into the broad grin of the Amish EMT, she realized she could do it. She would follow her calling to save lives, and she'd be able to do it without sacrificing her life as an Amish woman.

The Amish EMT nodded, as though he too understood the power of revelation moving inside of her. Then he said,
“
I'll be getting a ride back to my farm with one of the Mennonite EMTs, and I thought he might be able to drop you off as well. And maybe we'll be able to help arrange transportation for your deacon's family, if that hasn't already happened.
”

“
Please,
”
Judith said.
“
And if it all possible, could we talk, about what you do? I think...no, I know I have been called to this as well.
”

“
Then we shall.
”
The Amish EMT extended his hand.
“
My name is Jeremiah. You'll have to get more education, and I suspect you'll be our first lady Amish working this job, but God looks to our souls and not our bodies when placing a calling in us, I think.
”

They rode back together, Judith asking questions which Jeremiah readily answered, his brows raising at some of her observations. Occasionally he'd follow with a thoughtful nod. When everything was sorted, he had his friend, a Mennonite man named David, drive her to her home. It was past midnight at this point, and Judith's eyes were heavy with exhaustion. To her surprise and gratitude, a gentle light flickered from the lantern next to the living room window. Someone had waited up for her. Judith knocked on the door, having left her keys. Light footfalls sounded through the door, and there was a click as the chain was removed and the door opened.

Esther stood on the other side, not dressed in her nightgown as Judith would have expected, but instead still in her brown dress and cream colored apron from earlier. Esther ran to Judith, flinging her arms around her daughter.
“
Dear God, I'm glad to see you. How's the deacon?
”

“
He's alive,
”
Judith explained, a bit breathlessly from the tightness of her mamm's grip.
“
And asking for his wife, who Jeremiah's coworker, Jeremiah was the Amish EMT, is driving her to the hospital now. They said the worst of the danger had passed, though he'll need medication.
”

“
Gutt! Gutt!
”
Esther said.
“
But we have company, come!
”

“
Company?
”
It couldn't be the deacon's family, as Judith had just left the deacon's sister's home his wife and kinner had all been there, worrying at the news they'd received from Rachel's daed who had arrived hours earlier by buggy. Which left only one tr
ue option, and one that left Judith queasy from a bit more than exhaustion.

They turned into the living room, and Isaac and Jacob sat on the sofa. On the floor, Mary was asleep, still in her day clothes, hugging a pillow from her bedroom. Miriam was also asleep, leaning back against the armchair next to the window, the back of her head resting against the deep blue upholstery on the seat.

Isaac stood as Judith and Esther entered.
“
How's Deacon Hilty!
”

“
He's alive and doing well,
”
Judith said. Seeing Isaac's joyful expression, Judith lost the train of her words. She took a breath, settling herself before explaining, as best she could, everything that had happened.
“
Jeremiah said if we hadn't been there, the deacon would certainly have gone to God too soon. We saved his life!
”

Isaac took a step to her, hopping over Mary, curled up on the floor between them.
“
You saved her,
”
he said.
“
You wouldn't give up on him. And you remembered everything you'd learned.
”

“
Except the mouthpiece,
”
Judith said with a shrug.
“
I think I lost it.
”

“
Doesn't matter.
”
Isaac said.

“
Ja,
”
Jacob stood.
“
So, is this what you're going to do then, Judith? This sort of work?
”

Jacob's expression revealed neither anger nor approval, and Judith was unmoored in the face of it. At the hospital, she'd felt so confident in her ability to remain true to her Amish faith while still following the path of a healer. But that didn't meant she would be accorded the approval of Isaac's daed, who wanted a traditional wife for his son. Still, she had to be true to herself and her own path. If she and Isaac married, which seemed so far and fantastical, but at the same time something in her soul Judith wanted, eventually, then she would work to be the best wife she could for him. But she couldn't forsake what God had called her to do.

Dear God, give me strength. Steadied by the prayer, Judith met Jacob's gaze, and in an even voice said,
“
Ja. This is what I am called by God to do. I will have to finish my Englischer high school classes, and then take more courses to be an EMT, but Jeremiah assures me that I will be able to maintain the strictures of the Ordnung while doing this work. And--
”
Judith wiped her hands on her apron.
“
While there will be challenges, I will do all in my power to serve God both as a wife, mother, and healer.
”

Jacob nodded.
“
I see.
”
Fear wormed its way through Judith's gut as Isaac's daed studied her. Finally he said,
“
If you are willing to do the work, and my son is as well, then I would be a fool to stand in your way.
”

“
You would!
”
Relief flowed through Judith, followed by a wave of joy. She grinned, rocking on the balls of her feet at the energy of it as Isaac took her hands.

“
Of course,
”
Jacob said, and he smiled, the expression softening his features into a deadly grace that reminded her of the man she's first glimpsed a week ago, smiling at Joseph as he descended from the buggy, someone she would be happy to call family.
“
I
owe you the same apology I owed your mamm. I have allowed myself to become too rigid in my own beliefs, and this rigidity has caused pain not only to you, but also to my family, and it has separated me from my community and God. I am grateful to you for sh
owing me where I have lost my way.
”

Whether it was from shock, exhaustion, relief or joy, Jacob's words brought tears to Judith's eyes. For so long, she had been estranged, leaning on God's strength and her own will to move towards a future she could barely perceive. Now, everything she wanted was in her hands, and her life stretched before her, a bright path, rocky at points to be sure, but with God's grace and the bonds of community, family, faith, and love, she could walk it. She would walk it.