Liberty (14 page)

He’s not the same man.

Glory’s words came back to her. She was right. He wasn’t—but she didn’t want to think about it. Life might never be this good again.

She grabbed a beer from the cooler and walked toward him. Whiskey was his demon—he could have one beer.

“You know,” she said as she approached him, “it’s illegal to give alcohol to minors.”

“You saw that?” He grinned.

“I did. I brought you one to replace it.” He took it from her and looked at it before he tossed it to another teenager.

“That wasn’t a test. You can have a beer, Ryan. You earned it. You brought victory to our town. Celebrate.” She leaned against him. “You looked good out there.”

He laughed. “Thank you. Everybody played the best they could.”

“No, honey, I meant you look good in your uniform. I think you should wear it around the house.”

He glanced at her, surprised. She surprised herself. She was flirting, and with her husband of all people.

“Only if you put on that white tank top you wear to bed.”

She smiled knowingly. He liked it because it was so worn it was see-through and she never wore a bra with it. “I’ll think about it.” She let her head rest on his shoulder, and for a moment shut her eyes as the rays of the setting sun warmed her face.

“What did Glory say to you?” he asked very softly.

“That you’re not the same man she fell in love with.”

“I’m not, Lexy. I think there was a mistake, a mix up. I’m not him. I’m not the man you married.” He sounded so positive she wanted to believe him.

“Then who are you?” She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his beating heart. “It doesn’t matter who you are, just stay away from Glory.”

“I want you to trust me.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

He held her close to him for a few moments and she felt safe enough to let her guard down. It felt good to be held by him. Behind them they heard children running, playing little kid games and the pop of cans being opened. They heard Di’s voice speaking with her husband and men laughing at dirty jokes. They smelled hamburgers and grass and beer and dirt. And then there was Ryan’s scent—aftershave and skin and the slight smell of sweat.

“What are you thinking about?”

“How good you smell,” she said without thinking. She felt his arms tighten around her and something warm pass between them. He moved away slightly to cup her face in his hands. Hands that were soft and clean without gunk or calluses to bruise her skin.

“Can I?” he whispered.

God, yes,
she wanted to say. She wouldn’t admit to him how much she liked his kisses, how she hoped that he would give her one each time he saw her, how they made her feel.

He pressed his lips to hers, his eyes still opened. They were that beautiful shade of blue gray that she had never seen before. She saw how he felt in his eyes and hoped hers didn’t give as much away. He let his lips flutter against hers for a moment before he kissed her fully and she immediately went slack against him. His lips were warm and still sweet from the Gatorade he had been drinking throughout the game.

She kissed him back, pressing her chest into his, her body beginning to react. Her nipples tightened and an ache began to form between her legs. He sucked on her tongue, her lower lip, and she sucked on his in return. A moan escaped one of them. She wasn’t sure who, but Ryan broke the kiss and began to flutter tiny little sweet pecks around her mouth while he still held her face in his hands. Warmth spread through her and even though the kiss was over she would feel its aftereffects for hours.

“Damn,”
they heard.

“
Damn,
is right.”

“You’ve never kissed me like that,” Di complained to her husband.

“If I did you would try to knock my head off,” Stanley shot back.

“That’s because it’s never happened before. I would think you were up to something.”

Lexy’s face immediately burned with embarrassment. She got lost in that kiss and forgot that they were visible to the whole town.

“We might have done that on national TV. The whole damn town is looking at us.” She buried her head in his chest, trying to hide from the dozens of people staring at them.

“It’s all right, baby.” He cupped the back of her head. “You just stay like this. They’ll get bored in a minute.”

Chapter Thirteen

L
exy was shy with him that next week. He knew she was embarrassed that the whole town watched them kiss. They had both taken their fair share of teasing about it, but she was a private person. Reserved. He suspected that she never kissed her husband in public before. He suspected she never let herself get lost in the moment with him.

But she was slipping.

Every day she kept revealing a little more of those secret parts of herself to him. Little by little she was uncovering her true self. And it scared her. She wasn’t as tough as she wanted him to think. She was sweet and soft and a little bit wild.

And that’s why she kept her distance from him. They shared no kisses or touches. They barely talked that week. The only time he got to spend with her was on her breaks at the Calloway. He still went there every night she had to work. Even though she assured him it wasn’t necessary, he still walked her to her car and made sure she got home safely. It was one of the longest weeks of his life. And then came Thursday.

“I want to take you to lunch tomorrow. You think you can sneak away from the library for an hour or so?”

She looked up at him, her eyes widening for a moment. “Oh, not tomorrow. We’ve got to inventory the children’s section. But Monday should be fine. Why don’t you come get me on Monday?” She quickly looked away from him and down at her plate as if her peas were suddenly fascinating.

She was lying to him again. Right to his face. His gut said she wasn’t cheating on him but he really didn’t know. Why was she keeping how she spent her Fridays a secret from him? He wanted to let this go. He wanted to trust her, but he knew there was no moving on until he knew.

“Monday? Okay. It’s a date.”

The next morning he waited at the end of the road until she pulled up. He knew following her was a crazy idea. It made him seem insane. But he was insane. Lexy made all rational thought leave his head. He had to know what she was doing.

The drive was a long one, almost an hour and a half before she stopped and then it was at a supermarket. This couldn’t be her destination. And for a moment he felt like he was unforgivably invading her privacy. Maybe she just liked to go for long drives once a week. Maybe she just needed time to clear her head.

He was just about to go home when she came out with a small bag. But no matter how hard he strained his eyes he couldn’t see the contents of it.

He couldn’t just let it go, so instead of going back home he continued to follow her. She pulled up to a large brick building with manicured lawns and people milling about them. Some of those people were in wheelchairs. He looked up at the building’s sign, confused.

Golden Hill.

Was this a nursing home?

She got out of her car. He knew he should just go away, let her keep this one secret from him, but he didn’t. His brain couldn’t stop his feet from moving.

“Lexy.”

She turned to face him. Fear clouded her face. “Ryan? Wh-what are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “I know this was crazy. I know it’s a breach of your trust, but I just have to know how you spend your Fridays.”

“You knew I was lying to you?”

“Yes. I need to know if you are cheating on me.”

“Cheating on you?” She rolled her eyes skyward. “Oh, Lord. I won’t even let
you
have sex with me. What makes you think I’m having it with another man?”

“Then why are you here?”

“I should have realized you were going to find out,” she said more to herself than to him. “You’re not the same man.” She took his hand. “Come on. There’s somebody I want you to meet.”

She led him into a room where a small young man lay in a hospital bed, staring up at the ceiling. His skin was pale. His eyes were unfocused. He barely looked alive. Lexy dropped her bag on his nightstand and sat on the edge of his bed.

“Kyle, honey. I’m here.” She took his hand. “I wish you would look at me. I brought somebody to see you.”

Tears filled her eyes again and Ryan had the distinct feeling that he was suffocating. He took a step closer to his wife, placing his hand on her back.

“Who is he?”

“My brother,” she whispered.

Her brother. He remembered her telling him that he died.

She looked up at him. “I lied to you about everything.” The first set of tears slid from her eyes. “I didn’t always know about Kyle. My grandmother kept him a secret from me. Kyle’s been sick from birth and he spent his whole life in one facility after the other. Maybell put him in here the year she died. She left all of her money to this place for his care, but the money ran out and if I didn’t find some way to pay for his care they were going to kick him out. So I—I asked you to pay for it. But every time you got mad at me, you threatened to stop. And then one time you didn’t pay at all. I couldn’t let you play with his life like that so I told you he died. That’s why I started working at the Calloway. I needed to find a way to pay for his care. You never seemed to care where I spent my Fridays or why I was working so hard. But then you got hurt and you changed...and I lied to you again. I couldn’t risk you turning back into him. I couldn’t risk Kyle. I lied to you twice and now Kyle really is dying. I don’t want to lie anymore. God is punishing me for it.”

“No, baby.” He pulled her off the bed and into a tight hug. “No. No. No. He was an asshole. You did what you had to do to protect a person you love. God would never punish you for that. You’re a better person than I could ever be.”

“Why does everything have to be so hard?”

“It doesn’t, Lex. I’m going to make things better for you. I promise.”

Kyle turned his head as if he finally noticed he wasn’t alone in the room.

“Lexy, look.”

“Hey!” She dashed away the tears on her cheeks before she went back to her brother. “Were we making too much noise for you? I’m sorry. But I brought Ryan to meet you, love. And if that’s not good enough I got you some ice cream, too.”

Like she had been doing it forever, she reached into his nightstand, draped a towel over him and began to feed Kyle ice cream. Ryan grew uncomfortable watching her feed her brother. He felt like he was witnessing something intimate. But it all made sense now. She had cared for him so well in the hospital because she had been caring for her brother for years.

He found a new respect for Lexy Beecher that day, and he promised himself that she would never have to work an extra hour again.

* * *

Lexy was downstairs in the children’s section of the library when Ryan came to get her for lunch. She was surprised to see him today. They had made this date on Thursday, but in the light of everything that had happened she didn’t think he was still coming to pick her up. She hadn’t seen much of him all weekend. He told her that he had something to take care of. But she thought he was avoiding her on purpose. She thought he was upset with her. She couldn’t blame him. She had lied to him for weeks. Years actually, if she counted the time before he was hurt.

When she saw him at Golden Hill her heart froze. She thought her old husband was going to return, that he was going to rage and scream... But he didn’t. And his reaction made her feel about a thousand times worse.

“Hello, Ryan.” She rose from her spot on the floor and dusted off her pants. He looked different today. He wasn’t wearing his work clothes but he didn’t have anything on that she recognized. Everything fit. The black T-shirt molded to his hard chest. He wore dark blue jeans that didn’t sag on his hips and new black boots. Not the cowboy kind but the motorcycle kind. He looked damn good.

“Hey. You ready to go?”

She nodded. “I thought you weren’t going to take me to lunch today.”

He frowned. “Why not?”

“Because I’m a liar and you’re mad at me.”

He looked at her for a long moment. “Do you care if I’m mad at you?”

She bit her lower lip, torn between ignoring the question and telling him the truth. “A few months ago I would have said no, but right now I’m feeling a little different about it.”

“I’m not mad at you.” He gave her a small smile. “Come on.”

She thought he was going to take her to a restaurant, but they pulled into their driveway. Eating lunch at home was fine with her. She needed to be back to work in less than an hour. This was probably quicker.

He stopped the car and stared at her expectantly.

“Did you go grocery shopping this morning? We barely had any food in the house.”

“I guess you’ll have to get out and see.”

“Okay...” She got out, unable to shake the feeling that he was up to something. “Those BLTs you made the other week were good. I wonder if we have any bacon left.”

She had her key in the door just as he placed his hand on her shoulder. “Lexy?”

“Yeah?” She faced him.

“Didn’t you notice anything?”

She smiled at him. “Did you get new clothes? You look very handsome. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything before.”

“It’s not my clothes, Alexa. Look around the yard.”

She looked around seeing nothing out of the ordinary. The grass was neatly cut. Ryan had been dutifully trying to maintain the upkeep of the house. “I don’t see anything.”

“Exactly.”

She looked around again. There was nothing there. The yard was empty. Her heart lodged itself in her throat and she found herself gripping his shirt. “The cars are gone! You got rid of the cars?”

He grinned at her. “I got rid of the cars. And all the tools in the garage. I had no idea how much that old Ford was worth.”

The cars had meant everything to Ryan. The old Ryan. He would have never gotten rid of them. He spent more time in the garage than he ever had with her. “Why did you do it?”

“I don’t want you to work nights anymore. You don’t have to worry about Kyle now. His care is paid up for the next two years.”

His words sent her reeling. “Why did you do that?”

“I just told you why, baby. I want you at home. I should be the one to sacrifice—and getting rid of those cars
wasn’t
a sacrifice. It was the right thing to do.”

“But you love them.”

“I don’t love them.” He cupped her face. “I don’t love
them
.”

She shut her eyes. Why was he doing this to her? Yes, she worked to pay Kyle’s bill, but she also worked so she could get away from Ryan. He made it so she didn’t have to work anymore. She had enough in her account right now to walk away. But he also made it so she didn’t want to leave.

Where was her resolve? Her strength? The anger she carried around for so many damn years? She had expected many things when he first woke up in that hospital, but she never expected him to turn into the man he was.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Are you okay?”

“I’m processing.”

“Well, stop for a minute because I have one more thing for you.”

“You’re taking me to Disney World?”

“No, but I can if you want.” He pulled a little gray box out of his pocket. “I got this from Shelby’s Jewelers in town. If you don’t like it, we can look for another one.” He slipped a simple diamond solitaire on her finger. “I’ll wear one, too. I don’t want people to think you’re not married.”

“Every person in town knows we’re married.”

He nodded and kissed her forehead again. “But I want you to feel married.”

She sighed heavily. There was so much she wanted to say to him, but she couldn’t find the words.

“Come inside. I got lunch before I picked you up. It’s going to get cold.”