Love after Marriage (31 page)

They arrived at the apartment, and Sheetal was already home and fixing dinner for everyone. Roshni introduced Sheetal to Akash. Being friendly, Sheetal took no time in making Akash comfortable around the house. After a very enjoyable dinner, Sheetal left, leaving Roshni and Akash to catch up. They talked late into the night and finally went to bed.

Akash felt very relieved to see Roshni happy. It was very important to him to verify that all was well. During the conversation, both he and Roshni agreed that he could send her babuji’s car here so the two girls could use it when needed.

Akash arrived on Friday evening and decided to stay until Sunday afternoon. On Saturday morning, Sheetal woke up and made chai. Very soon Akash woke up, and he joined her. He was astonished to see Sheetal watching a discourse on TV. Sheetal made chai for Akash, and they had a lot of common topics to discuss and enjoyed sipping chai, listening to the discourse, and talking happily.

Akash left on Sunday. He’d had a good visit and was very relieved that Roshni was happy and had found a nice roommate.

Akash arrived in Mumbai and updated Sashank bhaiya and Kusum bhabhi of all that he saw in Bangalore. Everybody was relieved that Roshni had settled in well in Bangalore. Deepak called that evening and Akash gave him all the details about Roshni. Deepak was pleased; however, he was himself counting the days until he could return to India. All arrangements were made for Deepak to leave at the end of September.

Akash called Roshni frequently, and his friendship with Sheetal progressed gradually. Roshni got to know Sheetal better, and the more she interacted with Sheetal, the more she believed Sheetal and Akash would make a good couple. She waited for an opportune moment to initiate this topic with both of them.

~ ~ ~

One evening Roshni went shopping and noticed a big crowd at the end of a road. Her first reaction was to ignore it and walk away, but her intuition prompted her to check it out. She went closer and found an elderly lady lying unconscious on the street. People had gathered around, but none was willing to initiate any help.

Roshni came closer and confirmed that the lady was breathing, and instantly she asked a few people to assist her in taking the woman to a hospital. Fortunately, the woman had no serious injuries. She’d fainted, and Roshni discovered that she hadn’t eaten for a few days.

The woman gained consciousness and revealed her story. Her name was Subhadra Patel, and she hailed from Gujarat. She had come here to stay with her son and daughter-in-law after her husband’s death, but she was tortured by her son and daughter-in-law. She had nowhere to go. Being dejected, she decided to commit suicide.

Roshni and Sheetal made attempts to contact her son, but he showed no interest. Instead, he was ready to pay her money so she could go back to Gujarat. Both Roshni and Sheetal were in a dilemma. Roshni had lost her mother at a young age, and it was difficult for her to see aunty struggle. She and Sheetal discussed it and agreed to bring Subhadra Patel (Aunty) home after she was discharged from the hospital.

Roshni and Sheetal paid the hospital bill and convinced Aunty to come home with them. Aunty at first was reluctant but agreed later when Sheetal and Roshni talked to her about helping around the house since both worked all day. She was grateful to them and thought,
This is a God-sent opportunity for me. What else could I ask for? I will be very happy to stay here and help these girls.

Both Roshni and Sheetal thanked Aunty and brought her home. Aunty cooked and took care of the house so that Roshni and Sheetal did not have to worry. Over time, Aunty became a motherly figure to them.

~ ~ ~

One Friday evening, the three ladies were chatting casually after dinner in the dining area. During the conversation, the topic of marriage came up, and they talked about Sheetal’s wedding and her plans, and then Aunty asked Roshni about her husband and when she would join him. The conversation continued on this topic for some time. The wounds that had not healed started to bleed for Roshni; tears filled her eyes and blurred her vision. She forced a smile on her face, she did not want any pity from anyone, and walked away very abruptly.

Sheetal and Aunty suspected Roshni was unhappy with her marriage, but they remained silent.

Roshni went to her room and shut the door. She took a deep breath and leaned out of the window, gazing into the distance. She had always kept her hands and mind busy so she did not have to think of these past experiences; however, this time, it was unavoidable. She went into a flashback mode – her wedding night, her decision to leave Deepak, and their conversation in Jammu came back, then Babuji’s death and her loneliness…all these thoughts caused her to weep. She was unable to rest during the night. She sighed and turned over, trying to find a comfortable spot on the bed, but all was in vain.

Roshni woke up depressed on Saturday morning. Lack of sleep and their conversation from the previous evening were still on her mind. The past conversations with Deepak were ringing in her ears. The sight of Babuji feeling guilty came to her. Aunty was up already and made chai for her. Roshni did not show any interest in indulging in conversation that morning.

~ ~ ~

It was the second week of September, and Deepak was looking forward to his trip at the end of the month. Perhaps it was better they were apart, with distance came a deeper desire. He was excited for his India trip and called Roshni.

“Hello?”

“Roshni, it’s me, Deepak. How are you?”

“I’m fine,” she responded in a very serious tone.

Silence followed for a few seconds.

“Roshni, what is the matter? Are you okay?”

Roshni went to her room and shut the door. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

Then abruptly she asked, “Deepak, why do you call me? Now that I’ve moved out of your house in Mumbai, please do not call me.”

Deepak was shaken by this statement. On one hand, he was delighted and looked forward to spending time with Roshni, but this statement…“What do you mean, why am I calling? Obviously to talk to you.”

“That’s what I’m asking. We don’t have any relationship anymore, so why do you want to talk to me? I don’t think this is right. We should stop talking to each other.”

“What? I mean why? Why should we stop talking to each other? You are my wife, and I want to talk to my wife!” he said with a raised tone.

Already agitated from the previous night, Roshni lost her temper. “What wife! How many times have we discussed this, Deepak? Why don’t you understand? I am not your wife. Remember…we agreed to separate, and you are free to marry a girl of your choice.”

Deepak also lost his temper; he was infuriated at Roshni. “Roshni, stop it! What nonsense are you saying? I have also said several times that you are my wife. I don’t have a girlfriend or a wife here, and… don’t you understand that?”

“Of course I understand, and I also understand your intentions very well, and…and I am not going to fall into this trap again,” she said.

Deepak and Roshni were both in heated moods, and this wasn’t good for either of them. He tried to calm himself and took a deep breath. “Roshni, what is wrong with you? Why are you talking like this? Is everything all right?”

Roshni retorted angrily, “No, nothing is all right. I just don’t want to talk to you. Please don’t call me. Our relationship is over.” She hung up the phone.

Deepak was confused by Roshni’s behavior. She was by herself in Bangalore, and he was worried as to why she was so rude. He was also agitated but decided to give her some time to cool off. He thought,
How I wish I was there. I wonder what’s bothering her. She’s a very private person and does not share with others.
He sighed deeply.
How can I help her if she does not want to talk to me!

He dialed Roshni’s number again, and she disconnected it. She was not in a mood to talk to him. He was restless and did not know how to approach her. Since he was worried, he asked Sashank to talk to Roshni and confirm she was all right.

In the meantime, Roshni was not happy with herself for behaving in such a childish manner.
Why did I do that?
she thought.
I was very upset last night and woke up tired, but…I have been very calm and composed always. Why did I behave this way?
She kept thinking of her conversation with Deepak.

Her phone rang, and she feared it was Deepak again but was relieved to see a Mumbai number – Sashank’s phone. They talked for a few minutes, and after enquiring that all was well with Roshni, Sashank hung up the phone. Roshni also was relieved after talking to Sashank bhaiya.

Deepak was making all the arrangements to leave, but he was genuinely concerned for Roshni. He was relieved to hear from Sashank that everything was fine.

When will I be able to console her and take care of her? I know she is not doing well. Something is bothering her and…and she will never discuss anything with Sashank bhaiya or others
, he thought.

He called Roshni, and she picked up the phone this time. Hearing her voice comforted him.

“Roshni, what is the matter with you? Why are you not answering the phone?”

“I don’t think we should talk. We shouldn’t send the wrong messages to people around you,” she said very calmly.

“Roshni, how many times do I have to tell you that there is nobody here. Why don’t you trust me?”

“Deepak, after all that happened in the past, I cannot trust you. I feel you took advantage of me then and you are taking advantage of me now. It is in the best interest we don’t talk.”

“Roshni, please calm down, dear. Did somebody hurt you? What happened? Please tell me.”

Roshni did not want to prolong the conversation; she told him all was fine and hung up on him again.

Deepak was very worried now. She didn’t want to talk to him, and she shared nothing. He had not slept in a while. Every thought, every dream was colored by her face; she had consumed him completely. He was agonized but decided to give her some time to settle in.

Roshni was miserable. She thought to herself,
He wants me to believe him? How can I trust him after all that happened? He just doesn’t understand. He keeps telling me that he has no girlfriend or wife in the US, but why does he assume everything is okay in our relationship?

She took a deep breath.
I thought he was playing with my emotions, but…but him calling me even after I moved out of his family’s house – was he serious when he apologized to me and said he regretted all that happened in the past? He’s concerned and worried for me; are these feelings genuine? But…but how can he assume all is fine? His visiting India for a few days and exhibiting this behavior is not enough. How can I prove to myself that the feelings he has for me are not fake?

Her thoughts continued,
Hmm, unfortunately, I cannot go to the US, and he will certainly not plan on coming here for an extended time, so what is the point?

Sheetal and Aunty observed that Roshni was not happy. Both of them tried to cheer her up, but she refused to talk to either of them. In the last few weeks that Roshni had been sharing the apartment, the girls had become very good friends. Sheetal was perturbed; she wanted to help Roshni but was unsure of what was bothering her. Roshni was known for her calmness and ease of temper, but that was not the case this time.

~ ~ ~

On Sunday morning Roshni was in a slightly better mood. Her behavior the previous day with Deepak was not acceptable, and she knew it. She was sipping chai with Sheetal when her phone rang. It was Deepak again.

“Hello, Roshni, how are you?”

“I’m all right.”

“Roshni, I was very worried for you. Are you okay, dear?”

Roshni listened to his sweet, concerned words. “Yes, I’m fine.” She paused and continued, “Is there anything important you need to talk to me about, Deepak?”

“Yes, are you sure you’re all right?” he asked.

“I’m okay. Please don’t worry.”

“So tell me…what happened that you spoke so rudely to me?”

“Deepak, please don’t start this again, my sincere request,” she said.

“Okay, okay! I won’t go there, but you know…I was very concerned. There is nobody there with you, and if you are upset or sad…do you have any good friends there to talk to and share with?”

“Deepak, thanks for your concern. I’m fine here.” She asked after a pause, “Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Roshni, what is the matter with you? Why are you so annoyed?”

Roshni did not want to talk to him and plainly told him that she was not in a mood to talk now. Deepak sensed the tension and cooperated with her. He did not want to make things worse for her, especially when she was by herself, and both of them disconnected.

Deepak became anxious and literally counted the days before he left for India. The days passed sluggishly, every minute was strained to eternity, the physical distance made her unreachable.

On the other hand, Roshni’s introspection took away all her energy.
Why am I behaving like this with Deepak? He is being so caring and certainly seemed concerned for me; why am I not able to forgive him?

She was aware she had started to have feelings for him the day she was told she would marry him. These were the values she grew up with. With all the developments that happened after their marriage and until recently, part of her wanted to be with him, but her ego would not let her accept the betrayal. She struggled between these two personalities and was unable to make a decision. Being a woman of integrity and respect, she could not reconcile to the fact that Deepak behaved immaturely on the wedding night and had apologized to her. Of course, being a private person, she never discussed this topic with anybody for some guidance or solace.

~ ~ ~

Sheetal and Aunty saw Roshni was desolate. They tried to cheer her up but to no avail. Sheetal convinced Roshni to go to a temple with her to divert her mind, and Roshni agreed. They planned to go to the temple that afternoon, and since the market was close, they decided to take a walk to the market for grocery shopping as well.