Love after Marriage (35 page)

He had a major download of his anxiety for her. He was perturbed, and the distress was visible in his tone and expressions. Sheetal and Akash were astounded. They watched Roshni’s reactions. She was quiet, letting Deepak vent his emotions. She had seen this behavior before.

After his download, Deepak became quiet and stood there, staring at Roshni and her injuries with wet eyes.

Akash stood in disbelief. How could Deepak behave so insanely? He shook his head; this behavior definitely was not appreciated by Roshni!

“Are you done?” Roshni asked Deepak very calmly.

Deepak remained silent and felt embarrassed. He did exactly what everybody in Mumbai had been worried about. Roshni did not say a word after nor showed any interest in talking to him. She had no energy to talk much anyways.

“Deepak, please…leave her alone for a while. Let’s go out in the corridor; I would like to talk to you,” Akash said and took Deepak out of the room. He looked at Sheetal and nodded his head. Sheetal joined them.

“Deepak, why did you have to react like that to Roshni? Don’t you know her condition?” Akash paused and shook his head. “Why did you behave as such?”

Deepak had no answer. He just stared at Akash and Sheetal.

“You should go and apologize to her. What you did is definitely not acceptable. How could you…I mean…look at her condition; how could you say anything to her? You are very heartbroken to see her in this state, but that does not mean you express your anger at this time.”

Sheetal secretly admired Akash for admonishing Deepak for his behavior. Akash again asked Deepak to go in the room while he and Sheetal waited outside. It was important for him to talk to Roshni and show some concern and love, which he had tons of, and he had to express it to her.

Roshni’s thoughts whirled.
What have I done to this man? What enmity does he have with me? Every time he sees me, he is upset and angry? And today…even in this condition, he has no mercy. What an individual! He was unhappy for not being informed, but…is this the way he expresses his emotions, hurting people? Does he even realize the impact this has on people?
She had tears in her eyes; she was so weak, she did not have strength to cry. She put her right arm across her face to hide her eyes, but tears slowly trickled down her cheeks.

Sheetal and Akash asked Deepak to talk to Roshni and console her, and to apologize to her for his behavior. Deepak came closer to her and sat on the chair next to her bed. Roshni had her left arm resting across her belly and hid her face with her right arm. Deepak held her left hand and gently squeezed it with his head down. Roshni removed her hand from her face, and he noticed her tears. She wiped the tears that would not stop trickling down her cheeks.

“My sincere apologies, Roshni. I should not have yelled at you.” So saying, he squeezed her hand and looked at her.

Roshni tried to pull her hand away from him but was unable to. Deepak’s grip was firm, and her weakness did not help her. She stared at him with teary eyes. “Why do you do this to me always? What have I done to you? This move to Bangalore was intended for me to stay away from you and your family, and yet…you don’t seem to hesitate to yell and bring tears to me, why? Why, Deepak? As far as I know, I have not done anything to bring trouble to you in this life, so…why? Is this all my last birth karma…to get married to you and…and…is that why you torture me again and again? How long am I to suffer like this? Why don’t you leave me alone!” she said with tears continuing to trickle down.

Deepak leaned forward and wiped her tears. “Roshni…Roshni, please stop. I didn’t mean to. I…I was so worried for you, and then…and…you not telling me made me very angry, so…I could not control myself. Please forgive me! Please stop crying. You are too weak already, please…”

He pleaded with her not to cry, but Roshni could not control herself, and tears continued to flow down her cheeks. Deepak stayed, holding her hand, and his eyes were moist too. He bent down and gently placed a kiss on her hand. “Do you know how difficult it is for me to watch you like this,” he said after a brief pause. “Here I came to India to spend some quality time with you, and…and I find out you’ve been in an accident. Do you know what I went through and am going through? Can you even comprehend? I just wanted to fly like a bird and be at your side. I was terrified. I do not know how to react to all this. I guess I cannot handle such situations well; this is my weakness. Please… Roshni. What have you done to yourself?

“What if Sheetal and Aunty were not here? Did you imagine your condition with nobody around to take care of you!” he added.

Deepak wiped his tears and waited for her to respond, but Roshni quietly listened to him and wondered why he had such feelings for her. They stared into each other’s eyes – the heartache evident in both of them.

Sheetal and Akash entered the room, and Sheetal interrupted the silence. “The doctor is on his rounds. He should be here soon, and Aunty will be here as well with food.”

The doctor came in on his regular visit. He saw some visitors in the room, and he recognized Akash. “Ah, you are back already?” he asked.

“Yes, doctor, this is Deepak, my brother and Roshni’s husband.” Akash introduced Deepak.

“Oh yes, I am glad you could come, Mr. Verma. I had mentioned it to Roshni, but she said you are a busy man, so she did not want to disturb you.”

“Yes, Doctor, I can be busy, but this is more important than anything else.” He glanced at Roshni. Being anxious, Deepak asked the doctor a whole bunch of questions regarding Roshni’s condition and her recovery, and the doctor very patiently explained everything.

The doctor examined Roshni. “Roshni, looks like your wounds are healing. We may be able to take off your bandages next week, but the cast on the left arm and right foot will remain for a few more weeks. The bone does not heal that quickly, you see…it takes at least six weeks.”

Roshni was pleased to hear this and smiled.

“It is so good to see that smile on your face, Roshni. Once these bandages are off, you may be able to walk with a crutch.” He assured Roshni that she would be able to get on her feet very soon. To Deepak, he said, “Her complete recovery will take a few more weeks. How long is your stay here?”

“Why, doctor? Is everything all right with her?” Deepak asked.

“Yes, yes, nothing to worry about. Roshni is fragile at this time – both physically and mentally. She needs a great deal of support, and I’m glad you’re here.”

Deepak nodded and assured the doctor that he would do his best. “Doctor, I’m here on an extended stay, for at least three months,” Deepak said and looked at Roshni

Roshni had her eyes open wide.
Three months? I wonder why.

Everybody was happy to hear him say three months but were puzzled.

“I wanted to spend time with Roshni, and my boss asked if I could work remotely. We are collaborating with a firm here in Bangalore, so he wondered if I could help him while I was here, and I agreed on one condition.”

Everybody waited for him – what was this condition?

“As long as the work does not get in the way of spending time with Roshni, I would be all right with this offer,” explained Deepak.

Roshni listened with awe.
Why is Deepak doing all this? Isn’t this relationship over?

Her past thought came back to her: for her to understand him better or confide in him, it was necessary for her to live an extended time with him. She never thought this was feasible, but now Deepak had made it feasible; he’d made himself available to her.

The doctor talked to Deepak about Roshni’s progress and the next steps in her treatment. He left, informing Roshni that he would be back on Monday.

“Roshni, is it all right if I leave?” asked Sheetal.

“Yeah, Sheetal, please go ahead. I know you wanted to go to a talk.”

Instantly, a thought flashed in her mind. She looked at Akash. “Akash bhaiya, Sheetal is going to attend a talk by Shri Ravi Shankar. Would you be interested in going?” She continued, turning towards Sheetal, “Sheetal, is it all right if Akash bhaiya went with you? I’m sure he would enjoy the talk.”

Akash was a fan of Shri Ravi Shankar, and Sheetal was delighted. “Akash ji, do you want to accompany me?”

Akash had a broad smile on his face. “I would love to go, but is it okay, Deepak, if I went with her?”

“Of course! I will stay here with Roshni.”

“No,” Roshni responded loudly. She did not want to offend Deepak, so she toned it down. “I mean…you should go home and rest. Aunty will be with me here in the hospital.”

“Deepak ji, I think Roshni is right. You can come back tomorrow morning,” Sheetal suggested, agreeing with Roshni.

Akash also suggested the same to Deepak, and very hesitatingly Deepak agreed to go home.

As this conversation occurred, Aunty came in. She gave instructions to Sheetal regarding the food and the arrangements she’d made at home to accommodate Deepak and Akash.

Before he left, Deepak came to Roshni and held her right hand in his. “Roshni, I will be back tomorrow morning.” He walked away, looking at Roshni, still very troubled.

Chapter 24

Deepak reveals the truth of his marriage to Akash and Sheetal

Deepak was all alone in the apartment. He was restless and worried for Roshni. This was a very genuine concern he had for her, but how could he authenticate his feelings for her? He tried to divert his mind by switching on the TV and flipping through the channels, but he couldn’t focus on any of the shows. Finally he settled on a channel with an old Hindi movie, and he logged on to his laptop to check for any e-mails. He needed to get set up to communicate with his office in the US and also the office in Bangalore. Of course, the office was closed until Monday, so he decided to check his personal e-mails.

He retired to bed after a few minutes. As he lay on the bed, he recaptured the prior incidents: their conversations on their wedding night and in Jammu, his second trip to India when he spent a couple of days with Roshni and his feelings grew for her, his desperation to persuade her to believe in him, and then this trip. All these agitated his mind; he tossed and turned but to no avail. He could not rest.

He had a mission to accomplish this time – to bring Roshni back into his life! How could he achieve this? It was past 10 p.m., and he could not sleep. He gave up and got out of bed; a cup of chai would be refreshing.

The fresh ginger lay on the counter. He opened a cabinet next to the stove and found tea leaves, sugar and ground cardamom powder. Fortunately he did not have to dig into other cabinets to look for the ingredients. He boiled water and milk and added tea leaves and spices. The aroma of cardamom powder was enticing as he stood there watching the chai simmer with fresh ginger and spice. He strained the chai into a cup and moved to the family room in front of the TV.

~ ~ ~

At the hospital, Aunty fed Roshni and gave her the medicines. Aunty also had her dinner, and then she sat beside Roshni.

She held Roshni’s hand. “Roshni bete, I am so happy that Deepak beta is here. You will have a lot of moral support with him around.”

Roshni nodded her head.

“You know, bete, Deepak is so handsome and also seems like a nice person. You both make such a good couple. May God bless you both with a long married life.”

Roshni smiled in her heart.
Yeah, right! How can I tell you, Aunty, that we are already separated. I do not know why he is here. He had to come to Bangalore for a job, and he visited me so none suspected.
She was lost in deep thought and became quiet.

“Roshni bete, what happened? Where are you?”

“Oh, nothing, Aunty, nothing.”

Roshni was curious to know what arrangements were made at home. “By the way, where did you arrange for Akash bhaiya and Deepak to sleep?”

“Why, of course, Deepak beta will use your room, and I cleaned the guest room for Akash beta,” Aunty replied.

Roshni was not very delighted about Deepak sharing her room. She sincerely hoped Deepak would return to Mumbai or move to another place. She was tired, so she asked Aunty to help her lie down. Of course, Deepak yelling at her was ringing in her ears, and with great difficulty, she dozed off.

~ ~ ~

It was around 11 p.m., and Deepak heard the door being unlocked. Sheetal and Akash returned from their meeting, and they saw Deepak was still awake.

Akash and Sheetal were good friends and enjoyed each other’s company. Their personalities matched – both of them were calm, very composed and mature, and more importantly, they seemed to share similar interests. Akash had already shown interest in her, and this trip, it was obvious that Sheetal also had begun to like him. Roshni noticed the glimpses of this growth in their relationship, and she was happy for both of them.

“Deepak, you have not slept!” Akash said, not expecting to see Deepak still awake.

“No, couldn’t sleep.”

Akash sat next to Deepak on the sofa. “Are you thinking about Roshni? Is that why you are unable to sleep?”

Deepak nodded.

Sheetal noticed this, and she joined the brothers in the family room, making herself comfortable on a chair at a distance. “Deepak ji, don’t worry. She’ll be all right. It’s just a matter of time,” she assured Deepak.

Deepak was quiet, and Akash sensed his uneasiness. He put his hand on Deepak’s shoulder. “Deepak, what is the matter, mere bhai? You seem very down.”

Deepak was silent. He appeared very stressed, and his eyes became moist.

“Deepak, what happened? Please tell me; maybe I can help,” Akash said, noticing his wet eyes.

Deepak looked at Sheetal and Akash. “I want to share something with both of you. Sheetal ji, because you are Roshni’s roommate and by now you know a lot about her, and Akash bhaiya, you have gotten so close to Roshni after our marriage, I think I should share this.”

Akash and Sheetal glanced at each other and could not comprehend the situation. They wondered what he had to share.

“What I did today was definitely not right; I wounded her again,” Deepak started.