Love after Marriage (27 page)

Deepak stood there looking in her direction. No matter what he tried, he was not successful. “Roshni, I do not have a wife or a girlfriend in the US? You are my wife! What should I do to establish this truth?”

His monologue continued, “I enjoy being with you, talking to you, and I want to spend every moment with you. I do not know what this is called, but if this is love for you, then…then…I am in love with you, Roshni. How can I convince you? What should I do to prove that I am reliable and dependable?”

He interlaced his fingers. “I am lost. Please help me.” He looked up, hoping for a miracle. He’d tried to express his feelings. Unfortunately, she wouldn’t listen.

~ ~ ~

Everybody was waiting for Deepak and Roshni at the dining table, and Kusum bhabhi called for Roshni to help her with some chores.

Deepak was shocked.
Roshni, where is she? She went downstairs, but bhabhi is looking for her. Oh my god! Where is she?
He panicked, not knowing where she went.

Deepak came down and asked bhabhi where Roshni was, and Kusum answered that she hadn’t seen her. He looked for her everywhere.

Sashank came in and saw Deepak in a panic. “Deepak, what’s wrong?”

“Roshni, bhaiya, she came down being very upset, and we are unable to locate her.”

“I just saw her outside; she was in a hurry. She mentioned she had to go to her babuji’s house and left.”

Deepak sighed. At least she would be safe at her babuji’s house. He went back to his room and completed the chores he had started; then joined everybody at the table.

He did not want to have lunch without Roshni. He was upset, and Kusum noticed the tension on his face. She came to Deepak. “Deepak, why are you so worried? She just went to her babuji’s house. Maybe Ravi and his wife are there to clean. Don’t worry, she’ll be back.” She tried to calm him.

Deepak was unable to rest. “Bhabhi, I am not sure…” He continued after a pause, “Why don’t I go and bring her back. You all have lunch, please.”

“No, Deepak, you’re leaving today. Last night you both went out to dinner, and I did not stop you, but today you have to eat with us. I am sure Roshni will be back by the time we start our lunch.”

“Bhabhi, please try to understand,” he pleaded.

“Okay, let me call her,” Kusum said.

Roshni recognized Kusum didi’s number and picked up the call. “Hello, didi.”

“Hello, Roshni, Deepak does not want to have his lunch without you. Can you come home, please?”

“Didi, ask him to eat, I will be here for some time. I have to take care of a few things here.”

Deepak grabbed the phone from bhabhi. “Roshni, what are you doing? Why did you have to go there now?”

He was troubled to see her go and was irritated at her behavior. Roshni was so ticked off she hung up on him.

This made him angrier. He murmured to himself, “Fine, if she does not care for me and our feelings, I don’t care either. Let her do what she feels like. She does not want to talk to me…okay, fine, so be it. I don’t care for her either.”

Two little children throwing tantrums!

He turned towards bhabhi. “Bhabhi, let’s all eat. She will join us later.”

As they ate lunch, Deepak missed her. He was unable to not think of her. He thought to himself,
It was all my fault. Why did I behave like that with her? I knew she was angry with me, and now…oh, I messed up everything. What have I done? Will she even return before I leave this evening?

These thoughts worried him. Since he was leaving that day, Kusum made rice kheer as a dessert, per tradition, and he ate half-heartedly. After lunch, everybody gathered in the family room, and she was not home yet.

“Where is this girl? It is already 3 p.m., and she’s not home yet,” asked Sashank.

Everybody waited for her. Deepak had to leave in a couple of hours.

~ ~ ~

At her babuji’s house, Roshni was very angry and disturbed, and she cried. Her monologue started. “What does he think of himself? Why is he pretending to be affectionate with me when he has a girlfriend in the US? How can he be so deceptive?”

Her thoughts took her back to the Lonawala trip.
If he is being deceitful, why did he not misbehave with me in Lonawala? He was such a gentleman. Why was he being romantic with me? What is he trying to accomplish? I have already given him permission to get married to whoever he wished, then why? Why?

Several questions in her mind but no answers!

She realized it was 3 p.m.
I should leave now. He will be leaving in a couple of hours, and I don’t want anybody to suspect anything,
she thought to herself and left her babuji’s house.

Roshni arrived home at 3:30 p.m. Deepak was relieved to see her. She was calm as she entered.

“Roshni, it was getting late, so we all ate our lunch. Why don’t you eat something? It is really late,” said Kusum.

Roshni told Kusum she wasn’t hungry. She completely ignored Deepak and went to her room. Deepak followed her and locked the door from inside.

He came closer to her. “Roshni, do you know how concerned I was? Why did you leave without informing anybody?”

“I told Sashank bhaiya,” she replied.

“Can you even fathom how agonized I was? What if something had happened to you? What if you just left and…and…” He paused.

“What if I just left?” She looked back at him very angrily. “Don’t worry; I’m not going anywhere until our agreement ends.”

Deepak was confused and worried; his emotions played havoc on him. He did not know how to answer her, but he was very tense. He paced back and forth, then looked at her. “Roshni, I will not forgive myself…especially if something happened to you or if you go away. Please don’t behave like this.”

Roshni was calm now and realized she may have overreacted too. She did not respond to him and just walked away.

~ ~ ~

It was almost time for Deepak to leave. Everybody was at the dining table, enjoying hot bread rolls and chai. Kaki had made bread rolls specifically because Deepak had enjoyed them the last time she’d made them before he’d left for the US in December.

The deep fried bread was crispy, and the combination of spicy potatoes stuffed in the roll was tempting. Kaki made mint chutney and had tomato ketchup to go with it. OOH! What a combination! Everybody relished the snack along with hot chai.

Deepak waited for Roshni to sit next to him, but she avoided him. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. In front of everyone, he said, “Roshni, why don’t you sit here next to me? You were not here for lunch too! Come, sit here, please.”

All eyes were directed towards her. She was embarrassed, and quietly she sat next to him. Very lovingly he tried to feed her hot bread roll, but she had a stern look. He was being romantic again, and very soon he realized she was unhappy. He whispered an apology to her.

After they finished eating, Deepak loaded his suitcase in the car and did one final check of his hand bag, verifying that all the papers he needed were there. Soon after, Sashank, Kusum and Roshni left for the airport to drop him off.

At the airport, Sashank, Kusum and Roshni waited in the lobby while Deepak checked in. Deepak joined them after checking in the baggage. He had a little more than an hour before he went in for security.

Kusum looked at both Deepak and Roshni, and on the pretext of finding some food and chai, took Sashank with her, leaving Deepak and Roshni alone to talk.

As soon as they left, Deepak came closer to Roshni. “Roshni, we’ve had such a great time these past few days, and then today, the last day…we had to argue and fight.”

Roshni looked at him. He tried to talk to her, but she showed no interest. There were several people in the waiting area. He slowly moved closer to her and, putting his hand around her waist, pulled her closer to him. She bumped into his chest and was shaken. He watched her confused expression and bent closer to her.

“Thank you for spending time with me, Roshni. I really enjoyed the trip to Lonawala. I hope you enjoyed it too!”

She became sensitive to his touch. She felt his breath on her face and neck and shivered. Becoming nervous, she took deep breaths and looked around to see if people were watching them.

“Deepak, please let me go. Several people are here, and they’re probably watching us. This is not very civilized.”

Deepak nodded at her. “So what? Let them watch.” He bent down and kissed her on the cheek. She was totally embarrassed now and tried to move out of his embrace, but he would not let her go. He continued, “Roshni, it was so nice to see the changes at home. Sashank bhaiya is really very happy with bhabhi.”

He looked at her. “Let me know in advance for Akash bhaiya so I can attend his wedding.”

“No, you are not coming back until after December 14
^th
. Remember our agreement.” She jerked away.

He smiled and thought to himself,
How long will you try to escape, my sweetheart! A day will come soon when you, yourself, will… I will make that happen. Roshni, I promise I will bring you back. This is my challenge to you!

In the meantime, Kusum and Sashank came back with chai for everyone. As they talked, Roshni made every effort not to look at Deepak, and Deepak made every effort to look at her and admire her.

Hearing the announcement for the passengers of his flight to go through security, Deepak touched bhaiya’s and bhabhi’s feet. “Bhaiya, I know you – we all have been very upset with Satish bhaiya.” He paused. “But this is not the time to be angry with him. He wants to talk to you. Please give him a call.” He hugged Sashank.

He then turned to Kusum. “Bhabhi, I am happy for you and bhaiya.” He hugged her as well.

He came to Roshni and pulled her close and kissed her again on her forehead and bid her good-bye; then he left for security.

Roshni was completely taken aback and shocked by this behavior.
Why is he behaving like this? What has come upon him!

Kusum bhabhi looked at Roshni. “You are very lucky, Roshni. He really loves you a lot.” She came forward and kissed Roshni on the forehead. “God bless you both; always be happy and cheerful like this.”

~ ~ ~

Sashank thought about Deepak’s comments on the drive home. He knew Satish was not well, and he wanted to talk to him, but what should he do? His conscience prompted him to talk to Satish, but his ego resisted forgiving Satish or his wife for all that they had done.

Roshni was completely lost. She was not able to make sense out of what Deepak had done a few minutes ago.
Why was he toying with me? Was he telling the truth that he had no girlfriend or wife? Has he accepted me as his wife? But still…I cannot accept him! He has deceived me, and who knows what his intentions are at this time.

She was carried away by her thoughts, doubts and emotions. There were several instances during this trip that proved to her that he regretted what he had done and that he truly had fallen in love with her; however, somewhere in her heart, there was this fear, this doubt…what if he was deceiving her again? How could she find out?

She had to observe him more closely. She believed those few days she’d spent with Deepak were not sufficient for her to understand him better.

She concluded there was no possibility of them spending more time together before December 14
^th
, and it was not easy for her to forgive him. Under the circumstances, would she ever forgive him?

As Roshni commented to herself – ‘only time will tell’.

Chapter 20

Deepak Confesses his Feelings for Roshni

Deepak was restless in the plane; he recalled his recent trip. He thought of Roshni: her birthday party, him going to Bangalore, spending time with Roshni at Mumbai and in Lonawala. He missed her, her innocence, maturity, her beauty and her arguments too. Everything about her attracted him to her. He struggle mentally.
Why am I so lonely without her? It feels like I have left a part of me in India? What has happened to me?

He questioned himself… A time for introspection began. What Deepak had said to Roshni on the wedding night was wrong; however, he’d seen glimpses of her personality….she felt demeaned and was wounded. He respected her as a person, and for her education and her values. Then the conversations between him and Roshni in Jammu elevated his reactions to the next level – he not only respected her for who she was, but he saw her composure, her determination to fulfill her promise to her babuji, and he realized she was a woman of principles, honesty and sincerity. He admired her.

With Sashank’s wedding, his feelings for her reached the next step in the ladder. Deepak saw her perseverance, determination and dedication. Of course, his business trip to India was a beautiful experience altogether. He came to explore her, he came with an open mind to experience her, and he did.

He saw she was respectful, very balanced, mature and committed, in addition to being very loving and caring. Her very presence made the whole house very lively and fully vibrant. His brothers, Kusum bhabhi and Kaki seemed to be so happy to have her around them. He himself felt very peaceful and elated around her. Her beauty, her composure, her attitude, her mannerisms, and her speech; everything about her was special. He longed to be with her and enjoyed every moment with her.

Observing her closely also made him realize the pain she had hidden within, the suffering she was going through after the traumatic experience with her babuji’s death, and her loneliness. He began to comprehend her and his feelings towards her.

He was very upset because she’d refused to come to Bangalore; he’d been restless to return to Mumbai to her. He had taken every opportunity to spend time with her.
What has happened to me? Why this change in me? What has she done to me?

Even her arguments, her fighting to get away from his embrace; everything appeared so beautiful. Chills went down his spine when he hugged and kissed her. Deepak began to perceive that Roshni was very special to him. She’d changed him and his perceptions regarding marriage. All this was nothing but love for her. He had to admit he was in love with her; he could not imagine living without her. He was completely engrossed in these thoughts.