She stared at me as I stood up. “What?”
I took her hand. “You’re about to start your first shift.”
Ricki sat so still that she barely breathed. Her heart was pounding so hard that I could hear it. “Oh shit.”
Smiling, I leaned down and took her hand. “C’mon. We need to get you downstairs.”
Her teeth were chattering as we made our way downstairs. Donna had graciously offered us the use of the basement for Ricki’s transition. If Conner hadn’t approved, he kept his mouth shut.
I wanted to keep her confined in case she had trouble controlling herself after the change. Most wolves did fine, but there were a few who struggled to control their instincts after their first transition. Since I would be there, I didn’t think she would have an issue, but I would rather be safe than sorry.
Once we were inside the underground apartment, I locked the heavy steel door. Ricki stood in the middle of the room, her hands clasped in front of her.
“So what now?” she asked.
“We wait.”
I had to laugh at the look she gave me. “Why don’t we finish watching that movie down here?”
She shrugged and took a deep breath. “There’s nothing else we can do, is there?”
I shook my head.
We made it through the movie, just barely. She was sweating and shaking by the time the end credits rolled. I knew it wouldn’t be much longer before she shifted.
I dragged the couch cushions onto the floor to create a makeshift pallet for her. Then I went into the kitchen area and half-filled a bowl with cool water and grabbed a washcloth out of the small bathroom.
When I returned to the living area, Ricki was already stretched out on the pallet, positioned on her side with a blanket covering the top half of her body. She was shivering uncontrollably.
I set the bowl on the coffee table next to a half empty bottle of water. “Okay, darlin’, we need to take off your clothes.”
She glanced at me over her shoulder. “You know, Calder, I never thought I’d say this to you so soon, but I’m really not in the mood.”
I chuckled. “It’s so you don’t ruin your clothes, babe.”
“Oh.”
I had to help her remove her t-shirt, yoga pants, and underwear. Once she was naked, she tugged the blanket over her body, leaving her legs uncovered.
“How can I be so hot and so cold at the same time?” she asked.
I took the cloth and dipped it in the water before I gently swept it across her damp forehead. “I don’t know, Ricki.”
I sat with her, wiping her face and making her take sips of water, for over an hour. The tremors increased until her teeth were clacking together. When she began groaning in pain, I hurried into the kitchen and made her a weak tea with some herbs that Chloe recommended.
I carried the cup to the pallet, crouching down behind her and propping her head up on my thigh.
“Noooo,” she moaned.
“Shhh. It’s okay. I know it hurts.” I lifted the cup to her lips. “Drink this, it’ll help.”
The liquid trickled out of her mouth, but she swallowed most of it, grimacing at the taste. I used the damp cloth to wipe up the spills.
“You’re doing great, darlin’. I know it seems like it will never end, but you’re almost done,” I promised.
She groaned again, looking up at me with glassy eyes. “Is it too late to ask Conner to bite me?”
I felt one corner of my mouth kick up. Even though she was in agony, my Ricki was still as sarcastic as ever. “I’m afraid so. Thank you for choosing me instead.”
I ran my fingers through her hair, hoping that the caress would help soothe her.
She hummed low in her throat and I heard the edge of a growl to the sound. Any moment now. “I’m sure I’ll make you pay for it later,” she promised.
I didn’t have a chance to answer her because she choked and the shudders that quaked her body became uncontrollable muscle spasms. I could hear the small bones in her body cracking and resetting, preparing for her change in form.
It made me ache to watch her endure the pain, but I knew that the first shift would be the most difficult. The others would be easier until there was no longer pain, only the smooth transition from one form to another. She cried out, her hands reaching for me.
“Don’t fight it, Ricki. Just let it take you. I promise it only hurts the first few times, then your body adjusts,” I urged.
At my words, she screamed again, high and thin. The sound morphed into a mournful, agonized howl. I watched as her face elongated, her teeth lengthening into sharp fangs. Then fur the same color as her beautiful brown hair swept over her skin like a wave. From the head down, her body transformed from human limbs to the long-legged form of a sleek wolf.
Her head was still on my thigh and she lay there, panting. I stroked her muzzle and the side of her head.
A few moments later, she rolled away from me onto her paws. Slowly, she stood, her legs quivering. Once she was steady, she shook vigorously all over. I tensed, wondering if she was in control.
When she looked over her shoulder and saw her tail and jumped, I knew she was fine. I bit back a laugh as her head and eyes wheeled wildly, trying to take in her new form.
“Do you want to see what you look like?” I asked her.
She stopped and stared steadily at me. Then she nodded. Seeing such a human gesture from a wolf made me smile, but I quickly straightened my face. I didn’t want her to think I was laughing at her, even though she was pretty fucking cute.
“Follow me.” I got to my feet and headed into the bedroom.
There was a full length mirror with an enormous gilt frame leaning against one wall. When Ricki saw it, she immediately trotted over. She inched her head closer to the glass, her dark brown eyes unblinking as she stared at herself. Then she backed away and turned to the side, her eyes never moving from her body.
Remembering my first change during my teens, I stood back and let her take her time. It could be jarring to see oneself in a completely different body, especially since a wolf’s eyesight was so different from a human’s.
After a few more minutes, I walked over to her and crouched down behind her, running my hands along her silky coat. She arched into my touch, lifting her back to my hand to express her pleasure.
“You’re just as beautiful in wolf form as you are in human,” I murmured, nuzzling her snout with my face.
She licked my neck, pressing her head closer. Suddenly she whined pitifully, her body going rigid against mine.
Knowing what was coming, I continued to rub her body down with my hands, hoping it would ease the next change.
She threw her head back and howled as the bones in her body began to shift again, reforming into her natural human state. I winced as her howl lowered in pitch to a shriek before it was abruptly cut off.
Within thirty seconds, she lay naked in my arms, her skin clammy with sweat and cool to the touch.
“Oh God, I’m so c-c-c-old,” she chattered.
I knew a hot bath and sugar would help her recover more quickly, so I lifted her into my arms and carried her into the bathroom. The tub wasn’t large enough for both of us, so I settled her on the plush rug next to it and started the water. As I waited for the tub to fill, I cuddled my mate close, using my body heat to keep her warm.
When the tub was half full, I gently placed her in the water. I rolled a hand towel up and placed it behind her neck to support her head.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
I pressed a kiss to her damp forehead. “You’re welcome. You handled your first change better than any wolf I’ve seen before.”
She scoffed, her lids closing.
“Don’t fall asleep,” I admonished. “I’m going to get you something sweet. It’ll help with the shock.”
“Okay,” she answered faintly.
Worried that she would fall asleep in the tub, I hurried into the kitchen and grabbed a couple of chocolate chip cookies.
When I returned to the bathroom, Ricki’s eyes were still closed. I squatted down next to the tub, running the backs of my fingers down her cheek.
She sighed and her eyes opened to look up at me. “Hey. I gotta tell you, this shifting business takes it out of me.”
I smiled. “Here, have a bite of cookie.” I lifted it to her lips and she opened her mouth for me obediently. It seemed a tired Ricki was a compliant Ricki.
After she finished her cookies, I turned off the water and grabbed a washcloth and soap. The clammy scent of sweat clung to her skin and I knew she wouldn’t appreciate it. A few minutes later, she was clean and very sleepy, so I hauled her out of the tub and drained the water.
Since her clothes were drenched in sweat, I left her naked after I dried her off. Ricki rested her head on my shoulder as I carried her into the bedroom and yanked the covers back on the huge bed.
Once she was sprawled out in the center, I stripped out of my own clothes, switched off the lamp, and climbed in with her, pulling her body close. Her skin was still cool and she was shivering slightly, despite the almost scalding bath. I whipped the top sheet and duvet over us and did my best to surround Ricki’s body with my own. Skin to skin contact was the best way to warm her up.
“Calder?” she queried softly.
“Yeah, darlin’.”
“What now?”
I took a deep breath. Despite the roller coaster of the last few weeks, what was coming next would be even more difficult. With Lachlan out of commission for the foreseeable future and now without his mate, I would be in charge of the pack. Not the best time to introduce my new mate to the rest of the shifters I would lead. Still, I’d sworn to her that I would protect her, and that’s exactly what I intended to do.
“I’m taking you home,” I answered simply.
“Good,” came her sleepy reply.
I hugged her closer, praying that the spunk and resilience she’d exhibited over the last two weeks would carry her through what lay ahead. “Love you, darlin’,” I murmured in her ear.
For the first time, she responded, “Love you too.”
And I knew that everything would turn out all right.
Ricki
T
wo days after
my first change, Calder took me back to the pack compound. Considering everything that had happened the night I was attacked, it surprised me that he waited that long. While Lachlan was out of commission, he was in charge and he needed to be available for his wolves.
When we arrived at the settlement, Calder hauled my things into his house while I dealt with Pepper. I let my cat out of her carrier and spent a few moments petting her. She didn’t enjoy long car trips and wasn’t afraid to let me know it.
After he put my bag upstairs, Calder returned to the living room. “I have to meet with Chloe and check on Lachlan.” He walked over to the couch where I sat with my cat on my lap and grabbed a blanket, which he draped over my legs. “I want you to stay here and rest. You’ve had a rough couple of days.”
“I’m fine, Calder. I should come with you,” I argued. “You’ve been busting your ass to take care of me and I know you still haven’t recovered from the aftereffects of the spell, either.”
He brought the remotes for the television and DVD player to me. “I’ll be fine and you’re going to do what I tell you.”
My eyebrows lifted at his bossy words. “Excuse me?”
Calder glowered at me. “Ricki, I won’t be able to concentrate if I’m worried about you, which I’ll be if you come with me. Once you have your strength back, I won’t have a problem with you attending meetings with me. In fact, you’ll probably get fucking sick of it.”
“Seriously, I’m okay,” I insisted.
He crossed his arms over his chest, but didn’t say anything.
“Fine, I’ll stay here.” The annoyed tone of my words was ruined by a jaw-cracking yawn. I saw Calder’s lips twitch. “Jackass,” I muttered beneath my breath.
He leaned in and kissed me. “I’ll be back soon. Just relax.”
I fidgeted with the remote as I watched him go. While I hated to admit it even to myself, some of my insecurity was related to the fact that Chloe would be there. She was strong and gorgeous, and while I wanted to be a bigger person and not feel threatened by that, I couldn’t help it. I knew the feelings would fade. I believed Calder when he said I was the only woman he wanted because I felt the same way about him. My feelings were residual worries based on shitty experiences.
But that wasn’t all of it. Now that I was turned, I realized that Calder hadn’t been lying when he said that he would crave me. It affected me as well. I hated being away from him, even for a short time.
Groaning, I stretched out on the sofa. Since I’d changed for the first time, everything felt different and….new. I could see and hear things I’d never been capable of before. And the smells. I wasn’t sure I was ready for supernatural sniffing abilities. My heightened senses were both a blessing and a curse. Coffee smelled even more amazing, but trash or body odor became gag-inducing.
Calder even smelled different. Better. The scent of his skin was addictive and I wanted to carry it around with me everywhere.
I wondered if my werewolf senses would make sex different. I didn’t know for sure because Calder refused to touch me in more than basic ways since I’d turned. Something about giving me time to recover.