Love Found in California (The Washington Triplets) (9 page)

As we drive home our Friday session, I rub at my temples in the car, feeling an ache coming on. It’s draining spilling your guts about things that are not pleasant. One thing I feel better about is that I’ve talked to Dr. Harrington about my father’s upcoming wedding. She helped me to realize that I do want to go. I need to connect with my sisters again and rebuild a relationship with my dad. It’s important to me. Tonight I’ll respond to my sisters and even my dad to tell him I’ll be there. First though, I need to ask Ryan.

“Ryan?” I can tell I’m interrupting him from some deep thought as he grips the steering wheel with both hands.

“Yeah?” This is Ryan stressed or mad. I can’t be sure yet. When he’s a little too short in his replies, I know something is off for him too.

I contemplate asking him about the wedding, but decide that I should wait until he’s a little more clear-headed. “Never mind.”

Silence fills the car as we continue our drive and then Ryan says, “I’m going out with Randy tonight, okay?”

Staring ahead I can’t help but feel a sting in my chest. He always invites me to go out with him, but this time there’s no invitation for me. Even though it hurts, I think it’s best if we both get a little alone time. “Sure, of course.”

Shortly after we get home, Ryan leaves with a curt peck to my cheek as I sit out on the sandy beach in front of our house. My laptop rests on the table on our patio, but before I get to it I need to feel the warm sand in between my toes.

As I sit and think about everything I’ve discussed with Dr. Harrington this week, I wish I had my mom right now. Her death was so sudden. She never got to see me really take a better grasp on my life. I think she’d be proud of my strides, but she’d be sad that her girls have not talked to each other. I know too that she would want us there at Dad’s wedding. Marisa and Mya can’t possible understand why Mom would want us there though. Marisa says we should go only because she always tries to do the right thing and Mya is too angry.

The sun starts to set and tonight it’s one of those where the sky turns orange and yellow. It’s perfect. Beautiful.

Once I get up to the patio, I open my laptop and check my work emails first. Then I check my personal to see if Marisa or Mya have replied again. My fingers hesitate and then I precisely click on the reply button.

Without any more hesitation I click send and sigh in relief once it’s gone. That was hard to write, but it’s from my heart. I just hope that they can feel how much I want to fix this. Satisfied with this small accomplishment, I go in for the night. Instead of making dinner I opt for crackers, cheese and wine while catching up on True Blood.

***

“I told Carrie we would bring some wine tonight. I’ll run out and pick some up,” I tell Ryan as he works on his computer in the spare room.

“Okay, thanks.” His tone is light and airy, but still his response is short. He came home last night and woke me from the couch. No words were spoken, but he carried me up to our bed kissing me, hugging me and holding me close to him all night. He stops typing and then turns to me, “Mik?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you grab a bottle of bourbon? A good one.” I crinkle my nose in response and he chuckles. “What, my dad likes it and I think I may need it to deal with all of my family.”

Laughing, I tell him, “Sure.” It feels good to have the mood a little lighter between us. I know that there is something bothering Ryan and even though I assume it is because of me, I get the feeling that there is more to it. It may be due to work or could be the stress of getting together with his family. More than anything I want tonight to change things, make it easier on all of us and find a way for Ryan’s parents to accept me as their daughter-in-law.

The rest of the day Ryan works and I clean the house up. While I am out, I pick up ingredients to make an appetizer. I make a roasted cauliflower and white cheddar dip with garlic-rubbed crostini. Hopefully, this is fancy enough for Ryan’s parents. Seems like it to me, but I never know with them. I often wonder how Ryan and Carrie turned out the way they did. Neither of them are formal or uptight about anything. Maybe that’s their way of rebelling.

After I slip into a black crepe lace dress that fits loosely, I knock on the spare bedroom door to see if Ryan’s ready. His chair whirls around and when his eyes land on me they raise in appreciation.

“Wow, you look great. Guess I should change, huh?” He pulls at his running shorts to emphasize his attire.

“Maybe,” I smile at him and start to back out of the doorway as he rises and approaches me.

“Wait,” he requests and then snakes his arm around my waist. “You smell good too, love,” he says as his nose inhales sharply while buried in my hair at my neck.

I kiss his neck, resisting the urge to lick him and then squeeze his behind. “Go get changed or we’ll be late.” Pulling back from him he grunts as he tries to hang onto me. “I’ll pack the car up,” I throw out over my shoulder as I approach the staircase.

We arrive just a few minutes past seven and this only adds to my nerves of spending time with his parents. The few times we’ve gotten together they always make a comment about punctuality.

“Shoot, we’re a little late,” I say as I reach down to grab my appetizer.

Ryan steps out of his side and walks over to open my door. “They’ll get over it. At least we came.” He reaches back and grabs the box with the wine and bourbon in it, doing little to hide his annoyance about coming here.

“Stop, you’re making me more nervous, Ry,” I whine as I straighten myself out and try to smooth the material of my dress.

“See, this right here. I hate that they make you feel like that. It’s bullshit. You’re perfect.” I heave in a deep breath, not liking Ryan’s tone. Then he moves in front of me, holding the box with one hand and uses his other hand to brush my hair off my face. “I’m sorry, it’s just been a rough couple days. I swear though, if they start up I’ll blow up on them.”

“Ry,” I mutter under my breath, not really sure what to say.

“Mik,” he mimics my tone and winks at me.

“What has you so stressed and … mad?” His eyes close for a minute and he grates his bottom lip between his teeth. “Is it me, because of the therapy and, and … not sharing everything?”

“No!” he practically shouts and then softens his tone when I jump back a little. “Maybe some of it, but no, it’s never you. I’m mean, I’m worried about you and what’s going on, but it’s nothing. Let’s just go and try to have a nice dinner, okay?”

“Are you sure?” I ask, looking for reassurance. An uneasy feeling settles in me causing my heart to drum harder, filling up my ears. I don’t like not knowing what’s eating at him. Maybe it’s karma for me not sharing everything with him. More now than ever I want to get past this thought and be able to share everything with him. It’s not a good feeling to have secrets with the one you love.

“Yes, come on.” He begins to lead the way up to the main entrance of the house. “Hey, at least we have plenty to drink to get us through this, right?” We both smirk at each other as Ryan opens the front door.

The foyer alone is grand with marble and etched designs in the woodwork. I almost have to laugh because it’s so distinctly opposite of the house I grew up in. Our house was nice and comfortable. Nothing formal about it. On the wall directly in front of us is a large canvas painting of the Chambers family
―
Ryan, Carrie and their parents. It’s massive and had to cost a fortune.

Ryan mumbles under his breath, “I hate that picture, it’s too big.” I nod my head in agreement. It’s a bit much and I don’t think I’d like seeing myself quite that large every time I walked into my house.

Nervously, I follow Ryan out of the foyer. His mood has me on edge more than normal. I can’t figure out what exactly has him so temperamental. As we approach the living room, we both turn our heads back toward the foyer when we hear the sharp sound of heels clicking against the cool stone.

“Ryan, is that you dear?” Mrs. Chambers voice bellows in the expanse of the large open space. “You two need to keep better track of time, you know.”

“We’re here, Mom, and if you are referring to the few minutes we are late then we could just leave.” My eyes bulge out as I stare at Ryan and his boldness.

“Nonsense, I’m just simply stating that it’s one thing you must not have realized you have in common. I mean with only knowing each other for some odd months and all.” Ryan’s whole body stiffens and I grab onto his arm, squeezing it hard to pull his attention to me. Mrs. Chambers steps to Ryan and gives him a stiff hug, almost pushing me aside.

“Well, you got us there. Thanks for having us for dinner, Mrs. Chambers,” I say to try to soothe the tension coming from Ryan.

“Of course, dear, he’s
my
son.” Her possessive tone doesn’t go unnoticed.

After Ryan takes everything into the kitchen, I don’t really catch my breath until I sit in the living room with Carrie. I’m pleasantly surprised to see her sitting with an attractive guy. Carrie introduces me and wouldn’t you know, it’s Kirk. It’s probably pretty bad that I’m hoping Mrs. And Mr. Chambers will have someone else to pick on tonight.

I head into the kitchen to set up my appetizer and Ryan’s already pouring himself a bourbon and me a glass of wine. Gladly, I accept the wine. “You’ll need this, love.” I roll my eyes at him, trying to blow it all off.

“Mrs. Chambers, I made an appetizer for us. Could I heat it up for about ten minutes in the oven?” I ask and then take a swig of my wine while Ryan and I stare at each other waiting for some backlash.

“Oh that wasn’t necessary, but sure go ahead and squeeze it in right now.” I swear I see a vein on Ryan’s forehead pop out and I mouth to him ‘it’s fine’.

“No it wasn’t necessary, but sweet and thoughtful of her. Don’t you agree Mom?” Ryan baits her, but I already know she’ll brush it off.

She moves about the kitchen mumbling ‘mmm hmm’. After my dish is in the oven, Ryan grabs onto my hand and slips us out of the kitchen and back into the living room. We sit and talk to Carrie and Kirk. At one point, Carrie pulls Ryan to the side to talk to him and I assume it’s about their parents, but I can’t be sure. Ryan’s face looks stressed with lines forming across his forehead. The room is the size of four of my living rooms from home, maybe five, now that I get a better glance, so I can’t make out what they are saying. They seem to be arguing though. I flinch in my seat when Ryan takes a large gulp of his bourbon and walks out of the room.

As I stand, Carrie makes her way to me and tells me, “Don’t fret, he’s fine sista. It’s just work stuff.”

“Oh, why, what’s going on?” Unable to hide my desire to find out what’s eating at Ryan I practically jump at her.

She doesn’t answer, but looks over my shoulder and squeals out, “Daddy, there you are. Come meet, Kirk.”

Mr. Chambers meets Kirk and strikes up a conversation, never breaking to say hello to me. Ryan comes back into the room and I walk over to him immediately. Desperate to take the worry I see etched on his face away, I ask him, “Can we go talk?”

“It’s fine, Mik.” He side-steps me and crosses the room to say ‘hi’ to his dad with a firm handshake.

I take this as my chance to greet him too. “Hi, Mr. Chambers. Good to see you again.”

He doesn’t even respond to me, but just licks his lips and nods his head. Feeling defeated, I leave to get my appetizer out of the oven. I’m relieved that the kitchen is empty when I enter. Everything about being here is making me on edge. Clearly, Ryan is upset about something that he’s only sharing with Carrie, and his parents have not lost their edge about our relationship. I wish Ryan would just tell me what’s eating at him, and more than anything I wish that his parents would accept us as a couple.

It’s unsettling to feel out of place or as if I don’t belong. It brings me back years and hundreds of miles away to a place I’ve worked so hard to forget and move past. Reminding me of some of my darkest times, alone and unaccepted. I’m determined though to make this work for the love of my husband. I can’t let me be the reason for a riff between Ryan and his parents.

I pull out the dip and set up the crostini’s on a tray I see sitting out. Walking back into the living room I take a deep breath and decide I’ll just keep to myself, become a wallflower. I’ve done this before. I just need to get through this, then Ryan and I can talk when we’re alone.

Setting the tray on a table in the middle of the room, I glance up to see Mrs. Chambers walking in to stand next to her husband. Her face looks smooth and eyes wide, I’m sure there have been some surgeries to keep her youthful look. “Mikaela, dear, you look to be doing fine since the accident, yes?”

Ryan’s arm comes around my shoulders and he gently pulls me into him. Wishing I had my wine in my hand, I search the room for it. Before I can answer, Ryan’s dad speaks up. “What an ordeal that must have been for Ryan.”

Carrie’s eyes widen as she interjects. “Dad, she was hurt. Ryan was fine.” Already I can tell this conversation is going to go from zero to ten. If I was feeling uneasy earlier, I was now feeling even more uncomfortable and nervous. I have been talked about as if I wasn’t in a room numerous times before and it’s never pleasant. It makes me feel small, weak and voiceless.

Ryan mumbles under his breath, “for Christ’s sake.” I can feel the energy in Ryan changing while in his grasp.

Trying to divert any extra tension, I whisper to Ryan, “It’s not a big deal. Just ignore it, okay?” He looks down at me and when our eyes lock I see his face soften some.