Love Me: Oakville Series:Book 5 (18 page)

“It’s my favorite place for you to be too, sweetness,” I agree, pulling her closer. It’s taking everything in me not to beg and plead for her to stay. Unlike Chase, I know it’s futile. So, instead, I hold her tight, determined to make her last moments with me good ones. I’ll wait until later before I allow myself to fall apart.

I lay here, my stomach in knots as I listen to her raspy breaths. They’re becoming slower and louder. Her body is getting colder next to mine and I know it’s almost time. She lifts her head and looks into my eyes. For a moment, it’s as if all the pain she’s been in is gone. Fear claws through me and my blood runs cold.

“I…love…you,” she whispers before laying her head back on my shoulder. She breathes in deeply, then her body goes limp. The silence is deafening.

“I love you too, sweetness,” I cry. Pulling her closer to me, I let my emotions take over. A pained scream rips through my body. I place kisses to the top of her head as I sob. “God no! Please don’t leave me. I can’t do this without you,” I beg and plead. I know it’s useless, but I don’t care at this point. My body shakes uncontrollably.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. I have no idea how long I’ve been lying here, clinging to my wife. My throat burns, raw from crying. Through blurred, swollen eyes, I see Angel. The ache in my chest is unbearable. I want to go with her. Being here without her is too painful.

Angel tries to pull me away from Taryn, but I hold her even tighter. “It’s time to let her go, man,” Angel urges.

“No!” I bark. “I’ll never let her go. I want to be with her.” A tear slips from his eye and he quickly wipes it away. The pained look on his face is replaced with anger.

“I know you’re hurting. Dying inside even, but you need to let go.” His face distorts, looking as if he was sucker punched in the gut. “They are ready to take her. You’ve been in here over an hour. I’ve stalled them as long as I could.” His voice is shaky and hoarse. My body tenses. I’m not ready for this. Once she leaves the house, she’s really gone and there’s no chance of this all being some fucked up nightmare.

Angel gently pulls me from the bed. The second I’m no longer touching her, my chest tightens. I begin to hyperventilate. Sobs once again wrack my body and I fight against Angel, trying to get back to the bed. She looks so small laying there. She needs me. Angel yanks me away, slamming his back against the wall. I try to break from his grip.

“Let me go! She needs me!” I scream as I try kicking behind me. I miss him and kick the wall. My heart beats so fast and hard, it hurts. The door opens and two older men dressed in expensive suits walk in, pulling a gurney behind them. They are the ones here to take my girl. She doesn’t know them. I don’t know them. Before Angel can prepare, I slam my head back into his. His grip on me loosens enough for me to get away. I rush to the bed and cradle Taryn in my arms, gently rocking her back and forth.

Angel walks to me, takes my face in his hands, and holds it so I’m looking into his eyes. “You need to let them take her now. I’m sorry, man, but you have to let her go,” he pleads. In my head, I know he’s right, but my heart won’t allow me to let go. I shake my head, unable to speak. “Please, Marcus. I’ll be right here with you.” He takes Taryn in his arms, but I tighten my grip. “Please,” he pleads. Seeing the desperation in his eyes, I reluctantly let go.

Gently, Angel carries my wife to the gurney and places her on it with care. “I love you, T,” he whispers before turning away. Walking back over to me, he wraps me in a hug and turns me away from the men and my wife. I fight him, not wanting to let her out of my sight. “Don’t watch. It’s better if we don’t watch,” he says. We both sit there crying until we’re sure they are gone.

T
oday has been one of the hardest of my life. My pain and grief aside, watching the utter devastation on the faces of my friend and his son is breaking me. I can’t help but imagine what it would feel like to be without Chelsie and the thought of it makes my stomach turn. I would go crazy. He’s handling it better than I think I would.

The graveside service was small. Just our group of friends. It was exactly like Taryn wanted. The sun was shining, the sky blue, and there was just enough of a breeze to keep us all cool. We all held our emotions in check pretty well until it was time for Kyle to sing. Taryn had asked him weeks ago if he would sing at her service. Of course, he wasn’t going to say no, but I don’t think he realized how hard it would be for him. He sang
When I Get Where I’m Going
by Brad Paisley. Taryn said she always loved the song and thought it fitting. How Kyle managed to get through it without losing it is beyond me. The rest of us were blubbering messes by the end.

Chase and Marcus stood there the entire time like statues. Neither of them has shed a tear since the day she died. I’m worried about them, but uncertain of how to help. If I push either of them too hard, they’ll shut me out. If I don’t push hard enough, they’ll retreat into themselves and the grief will take over. I’m at a loss. Chelsie thinks I should give them both time, see if they can work it out together. I don’t expect it to happen overnight and I know they will never be the same, but I made a promise to Taryn to take care of her boys and that’s one promise I intend to keep.

As we make our way into Marcus’ house, it feels strange. I still expect to see Taryn’s smiling face coming from the kitchen to greet us. Chelsie squeezes my hand and gives me a look that says she’s thinking the same thing. “I’m gonna go help Kelly and Tanya with the kids,” she says before kissing my cheek.

I join Paul and Kyle in the kitchen where they are pouring glasses of whiskey. We each take a glass and clink them together. “To Taryn,” I say.

“To Taryn,” the guys repeat in unison. I sip my drink as I look around for Marcus and Chase. We all took separate vehicles to the service and I haven’t seen them since we left. Kyle looks at me over the rim of his glass.

“They both came home and went to their rooms. Holly tried to get them to eat something first, but they refused,” Kyle tells me.

“We figured all the people here and the stress of the service was just a little too much, so we didn’t push,” Paul explains. “I can’t begin to fathom what he’s feeling right now.” The thought of losing Chelsie makes me nauseous.

“Not to sound like a dick, but I never want to know how he feels. He’s handling it better than I would,” Kyle confesses.

“We need to keep an eye on them both. I have a feeling he’s not handling this as well as we think,” I tell them, and they both nod in agreement.

For the next hour, I sit with Paul and Kyle, telling stories about Marcus and Taryn. We watch as people filter in and out of the kitchen, nibbling here and there on the awesome food Kyle provided from KC’s. Though the food smells amazing, I’m just not in the mood to eat. I’m too concerned about Marcus. Neither he nor Chase has come out of their rooms. I know they need time to grieve, but I’m afraid if they close themselves off from the people who love them, it’s going to be a lot harder for them to move on.

Standing from the table, I grab my drink and finish it off. “I’m going to check on Marcus,” I inform them. As I make my way down the hallway, I stop at Chase’s door. I knock lightly and open it. Chase is fast asleep on his bed. Reaching for the blanket on the end of his bed, I cover him up. My heart clenches at the sight of Taryn’s framed picture clutched in his little hands. Only time is going to make this easier for him, but I can do my best to help him not dwell on it.

Closing Chase’s door behind be, I walk to Marcus’ room. The door is ajar, so I push it open a little further and something outside on the patio catches my eye. I walk out through the French doors and see Marcus staring into the backyard.

“Hey, man,” I greet him. Startling him, he jumps. His eyes are red and puffy, his face filled with pain. It’s almost too much to bear. “I just checked on Chase. He’s sleeping.” He runs his hands through his hair, then let’s out a frustrated sigh.

“How do I do this? I’ve been so wrapped up in my own head, I haven’t even thought about him. What kind of fucked up asshole does that make me?” Marcus says, sounding defeated.

“It’s only been a couple days. You have all of us here to help. We know you need time to process it all and get used to life without her.”

“That’s the problem. I don’t think I will ever get used to it.” He begins to pace, his fists balled at his sides. “My heart literally hurts. It’s broken into a million pieces. I feel like I’m suffocating. I love my son, but how do I make this better for him when I can’t even function? You can’t imagine what this feels like.” I get that he’s not thinking clearly right now, but I know how he’s feeling. After all, my sister was kidnapped right under my nose. I thought she was dead until recently.

“I have been there with Kayleigh. I know the pain you’re in. But the one thing you have that I didn’t is Chase. You’re going to need to figure out how to deal with your emotions and take care of him at the same time. He needs you more than ever now. Like I said before, you have all of us here to help you through this. You just need to make an effort not to shut Chase out while you’re trying to deal.” Tears fill his eyes and his body begins to shake as sobs take over. He falls to his knees, and I drop to the ground with him, wrapping him in my arms.

“I love her so much. I’m so fucking lost without her,” he cries. “This is unfair. We were supposed to be together forever. Grow old together. How do I go on alone?” I don’t respond. He doesn’t need an answer. He needs to vent. To let all the emotions he’s been holding in out. “Thank you. I can’t do this without you all,” Marcus whispers, his voice hoarse, and pulls back from me. Seeing a man, my friend, break down like this tears me up. No one should have to go through this much pain. I am going to do everything in my power to make sure they get through this.