Love Me: Oakville Series:Book 5 (6 page)

“What are we playing, buddy?” I ask him before he pushes a dump truck in front of me. He drives his loader over to the pile of Lego bricks and scoops up a bucket full. Pushing the toy over the carpet, he dumps the bucket into the back of the dump truck. He continues doing this until the dump truck is full.

“Now you need to drive it to the construction site,” he states, pointing to the spot a few feet away where he has a building started. Sometimes I wonder if he’ll grow up and have a career in construction. He loves to build and he’s been fascinated with construction equipment ever since he was a baby. Poor Marcus has tried to get him interested in playing the guitar, but Chase doesn’t seem to be very taken with it. I don’t think we have a future rocker in our midst. Of course, neither of us care what he does when he grows up as long as he’s happy.

My chest tightens at the thought. Will I be here to see him grow up and become a man? The thought terrifies me. I don’t think I can bear leaving this sweet boy. I want to watch him grow up, see him graduate, get married, and become a father. He needs me there to help guide him. Tears sting my eyes, but I hold them back.

“Time is money,” Chase scolds, and I laugh. Just like that, my fears are replaced with love and contentment. Like a good worker, I do as he says. Driving my truck to the construction site, I dump the load of bricks, and his smile grows wider. “Good job, Momma,” he praises me. I love moments like this, knowing sitting here playing with him makes him so happy. I’d do anything to see that beautiful smile on his face. I love this little boy with everything I have. There are no words to describe just how much.

He reminds me of a mini Marcus. His light brown hair, wide smile that makes a small dimple appear, and his beautiful grey eyes that can read my moods like a book. Just like his daddy, he has a way of always making the darkest day brighter. It doesn’t take much—a small hug or an “I love you” and all is good in my world.

“Daddy’s home,” I say when I hear the front door close. Marcus strolls in. He grins when he sees Chase and I on the floor playing. My heart skips a beat as soon as I see him. How does he still do this to me after all this time? Chase jumps up and sprints toward his dad. He leaps into Marcus’ arms, almost knocking him over. Chase squeals when Marcus begins to tickle him.

“What are you and mommy doing?” Marcus asks our giggling boy. He stops his tickle assault and allows him to catch his breath.

“We’re building the tallest building in the world. Do you want to help, Daddy?” he asks in his sweetest voice.

“You bet I do, buddy.”

“Yes!” Chase exclaims, throwing his hands in the air. “I gotta go get your truck. Be right back.” He runs off to his room like a flash. I smile up at my husband as he leans down and places a soft kiss on my lips before taking a seat on the floor next to me. He stares at me, carefully examining my face.

“What?” I ask, wiping at my face. “Is there something on my face?” He chuckles and shakes his head.

“There’s nothing on your face.” Taking my hand and removing it from my face, he brings it to his lips and brushes them against my knuckles before placing our entwined hands on his leg. “Can’t I just admire my beautiful wife?” My heart melts at his words. This man knows how to make me swoon.

“As long as I can do the same to my handsome husband,” I reply.

“Anytime you want, sweetness. All this sexiness is just for you,” he says, waggling his eyebrows. I lean over and press my lips to his. A moan escapes him as our mouths open, deepening the kiss. Just as my body begins to tingle in all the right places, I hear Chase clear his throat. I remove my lips from Marcus’ and he groans. “Later,” he whispers in his sexy tone that has goose bumps spreading all over my body.

“Guys, do you have to do the gross kissing stuff right now? We have work to do,” Chase grumbles. My boy is serious when it comes to his Legos. I can’t stop the giggle that escapes me when Chase shoves the dump truck into his father’s chest. “Keep your lips to yourself and get to work, mister,” Chase demands, snapping Legos onto the large tower he’s creating. Marcus and I glance at each other and break out into laughter. Little man turns back and shakes his head at us, which causes us to laugh even harder.

I enjoy a couple hours of family building time with my favorite men before turning in my hardhat to start cooking dinner. I think it’s safe to say this boy will make a damn good boss someday. He doesn’t put up with any playing around and expects his orders to be carried out precisely and quickly. Smiling at the thought, I begin to pull the items I need from the refrigerator.

As I stand at the counter chopping veggies for stir fry, my mind starts to wander. To say I’m a nervous wreck while I wait for the doctor to call with my results is an understatement. I’m climbing the fucking walls and keeping this from Marcus is just making it worse. Waiting would be a whole lot easier if I had him holding me and telling me everything will be fine. Every little ache or pain has me wondering if it’s a symptom of something. It’s beginning to make me a little crazy and Web MD has become a very bad addiction I’m trying to stay away from. It only causes me more anxiety. I thought I knew my body better, that I should be able to tell if there is something wrong with me, but this all just feels like my walls are caving in while I remain oblivious.

“D
inner tastes great, sweetness,” I say. Taryn lifts her head and gives me a smile, but it’s not her usual smile—the one that makes me weak in the knees. It’s almost sad and doesn’t reach her eyes. I’ve noticed this with her more and more lately, almost as if she’s pulling away from me. It’s not like her. Why would she want distance between us? We’ve always been able to communicate with each other, but lately, our conversations are only about Chase, and even then, it seems her head is elsewhere.

“I’m done. Can I go play now?” Chase asks, looking between Taryn and me. I glance over at his plate to make sure he’s eaten enough then give him a nod. He starts to dart away and clearing my throat stops him in his tracks. With a huff, he turns around and stomps back to the table. I notice a pout on his face before he picks up his plate and brings it to the kitchen. I shake my head and stifle a laugh. That boy is always so anxious to get to his Legos, nothing else is important to him. It’s the only thing we argue over. Chores are not high on his list of priorities.

As soon as I know Chase is in his room, I decide it’s time to try to find out what’s going on with Taryn. Silently, I take a moment and watch her. The light that usually radiates from her is gone. Her smiles seem forced, as if it’s taking everything in her to do it. I can’t help but wonder if there’s something I’ve done to cause this and that thought has my stomach twisting in knots. Never would I intentionally do anything to hurt my girl.

“Sweetness,” I say, my voice soft. Taking a deep breath, I wait for her to look up and brace myself. I’m not sure I want to hear the answer to the question I’m about to ask. “Have I done something wrong?” Her eyes widen and begin to fill with tears. Shaking her head no, she reaches for my hand. Her eyes bore into mine for what feels like hours, but is only a few seconds. Her hand is clammy and shaky.

“I’ve been keeping something from you because I don’t want you to worry,” she says in a rush. A chill runs up my spine. My mind wanders to all sorts of scenarios and none of them are good. I keep my eyes on hers, pleading for her to just spit it out. It can’t possibly be any worse than what is running through my head. As if on cue, she begins to recount her visit to the doctor. With every word, my stomach tightens and twists. When she whispers the word “biopsy”, bile rises in my throat, threatening to choke me.

“Biopsy?” I question, hoping I misunderstood. She nods her head slowly in confirmation. “But biopsies mean cancer,” I say, stumbling over the dreaded C-word. This can’t be. Taryn gets up from her chair and places herself on my lap. Instinctively, I wrap my arms around her and hold on tight. Her body shakes against me and it hurts my heart. How do I make this better for her when I’m so thrown myself?

“People have biopsies all the time that come back normal. That’s a possibility, baby,” Taryn says in her soothing mommy voice—the voice that always works with Chase when he’s had a nightmare—but it’s not soothing me in the least.

“But there are also tons that come back showing cancer,” I snap. When I see the hurt mixed with terror in her eyes, I instantly regret my words. I take her face in my hands and kiss her lips gently. “I’m sorry, sweetness. I didn’t mean to bite your head off. I’m just shocked and a little scared.” She gives me a weak smile. “Actually, I’m fucking terrified.”

“Me, too,” she whispers. “I’ve had this feeling in my gut lately that something is wrong, and no matter what I do, it won’t go away. I didn’t want to worry you. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you about the appointment, just in case it was nothing.” She sniffles and takes a deep breath. “I’m starting to think this isn’t nothing, Marcus. I’m really scared.” Those words stab me like a dagger to the heart. Burying her head in my chest, she begins to sob, and I can’t stop myself from sobbing with her.
Cancer is death
, plays over and over again in my mind. I’ve never seen otherwise. So many people I’ve loved have been ripped away from me because of the awful disease—a disease that leaves nothing but destruction and heartbreak in its wake.

“I’m scared too, sweetness. But no matter what happens, we’ll get through it together, like we have everything else. Nothing will make me leave your side,” I tell her, squeezing her a little tighter. All I can think about is losing the love of my life and it makes it hard to breathe. Living without her is impossible. It can’t be done. Then Chase enters my mind. Our son needs his mother. If losing her would break me, it will destroy him.

I’m supposed to make everything better for my family, make them feel safe and happy, but how can I do that when I can’t even hold myself together? I have to man up, put all my fears aside, and be strong for them. Steeling myself, I whisper in her hair, “Everything will be alright. You’re going to be just fine and if this is cancer, we will beat it. We’ll fight it together and kick it’s motherfucking ass back to hell where it belongs.”

Over the next few days, we spend every moment we can together as a family. We take Chase bowling, fishing, and spend an afternoon at the arcade. Luckily, he has no idea there’s a huge black cloud hanging over our family—no clue one phone call can turn our whole world upside down. Taryn and I have agreed to shield him from any of this for as long as we possibly can. After all, the phone call could reveal it was all a terrible mistake and we’ve been worrying for nothing. And though I pray to God that’s the case, like Taryn, I have this nagging feeling deep in my gut that’s not what we’ll hear.