Love Renewed (Entwined Hearts #3) (29 page)

“Jenson’s alive, baby. They left him to die but thankfully Lewis got to him just in time,” he explains and the relief that runs through me is massive, I feel so much lighter at the news. I can’t help the tears falling, though. I’m overwhelmed by everything that has happened in the last few days. “Hey baby, it’ll be okay. I promise you. I’ll do whatever it takes to make everything okay,” he tells me, which just makes me cry more. Knowing how much he loves me, I never thought I’d have that kind of love again. It’s a gift, and I treasure it. I treasure him.

The commotion brings me back to reality. I was watching Nova sleeping. After explaining what had happened and our injuries she became tired and I told her to sleep. I eased the emotional moment she had, by explaining that I was going to stay in the room until she woke. She’s been asleep for a little over an hour now and she’ll be awake soon if the racket doesn’t stop. I soon see what the noise is all about when Nova’s door swing open and Saul bursts through.

“Dane,” he whispers. Which he follows quickly by spitting, “What the fuck?” at me, in a Jekyll and Hyde move. Suddenly, he steps forward sinking to his knees and wraps me in a hug.

“Brother. You’re crushing me, especially your arm as that’s where I was stabbed.” He jerks backward and his sits his arse on the hospital floor.

“You scared the fucking life out of me,” he states and I can see the glaze of feelings in his eyes. I try to choke down my own emotion. This is not something I’ve had to deal with before, this lot invaded my fucking life. I smile at my own thoughts.

“This is not funny,” he snaps and my eyes search his. I can see the very real emotion and as I look up to Soph, she’s crying too.

Feeling my heart rate pick up and a warmth swirling inside, burning across my chest as I comprehend just how important I am to my family. My brother especially. Everything suddenly clicks into place, and it dawns on me just how deep my love runs for them and how this isn’t a one-way street, it’s completely reciprocated. I swallow and cough, trying to gain a bit of control over my body’s reactions to my realisation.

“I know it’s not. I’m sorry. It’s just, I’ve already been through this with Pea and Con and Eric and Rich,” I explain.

“Well, now it’s Saul and me…so suck it up!” Soph demands her arms crossed over her chest. I smirk at her but quickly wipe it off my face for fear that she may hit me.

“Soph, Saul.” Nova’s soft tone fills the room and we all turn to look at her.

“Oh, Libby!” Soph cries quickly moving to the bed and wrapping her in an embrace.

“She’s okay, bro?” Saul asks quietly. I nod but say nothing else. Every time I think about what could have happened, I feel like the world has dropped out from under my feet.

“We need to talk. I’m sorry. When I got the call from Pea that you were in the hospital, I came straight back to the UK. I was waiting for your say so, but obviously I wasn’t going to leave you in the hospital. I’ve just flown for eight hours and haven’t even gone home yet, but I had to see you, make sure you were okay.” I nod at him and grind my teeth. My life never used to impact on anyone but me. Well, maybe Jenson. Now though, I realise what happens to me leaves it mark on my family. Every single one of them.

“There’s more to talk about Dane,” Saul says and my back goes straight at his tone. “When you’re home we need to talk about what you do, why this situation came up…” he pauses and bites his lip, “Another thing. Our mother has tried to contact me. I don’t know why. Need to figure that out. I’m ignoring her calls, emails…fucking letters.” He shakes his head, looking at his feet as I remain tense. “I don’t know what she wants. The thing is, I haven’t opened the letter, it arrived the day we flew to Vegas. But it was addressed to me…and you.” My flinch is noticeable, even to Nova, who calls to me.

“Dane, are you okay?” Her gentle voice soothes my hidden wounds.

“Are you here, are you still mine?” I question looking at her. I take in the soft curve of her nose, the bright blue of her eyes, her lashes which still sweep her now bruised cheek and the full lips which hold three stitches on the right side.

I watch as her lips part and she whispers, “Always.” Her one word pulls me together in every way possible and gives me the strength I need to meet every single thing that gets in my way. Head on.

“Then I’m okay,” I answer. And I know I will be.

It’s been two weeks since we were discharged from the hospital. I’ve had Archer searching for Ryan and looking deeper into the situation. But there’s been no sight of him. He’s gone dark and to find him I’d have to go dark too. The problem with this is I can’t go dark with Nova and I’m not leaving her alone. Fuck that.

Today I’m heading over to see Jenson. I told Nova she has to stay here, that Jenson probably won’t be in the right frame of mind to see her, but she wants to come. And I can’t deny that fucking woman anything. She’s my damn Kryptonite.

“Nova, come on woman, we’re going to be late,” I call up the stairs.

“Okay, big guy! Stop shouting, cracked ribs here!” she grumbles back.

“Stop using that excuse, you’ve healed really well and are nearly back to one hundred percent,” I answer, then whisper, “You wouldn’t know you’d had any injuries the way you moan at me.”

“I heard that!” she snaps.

“What are you a fucking bat?” I ask.

She laughs then snakes her arms around my waist. “Just making sure you know that nothing gets past me, big guy,” she tells me as I feel her nuzzling into my shoulder. I grab her hand and pull her around until she’s against my front. Looking down at her I once again can’t believe my luck. Luck I don’t deserve, not for the kind of person that I am, but luck that I wouldn’t turn away because it brought Nova back to me. I stroke her face with my thumb and take all of her in.

“I love you,” I say simply and watch as her eyes sparkle and glass over. “I always have. Always will. There will never be anyone but you, Nova. You make me feel like I’m deserving, like I’m good and clean and true. My demons evaporate when you’re with me. I didn’t know what I was when I was younger, didn’t know where I belonged or how to become what I needed to be. When I turned into a teenager my thoughts, my feelings, they all became harder to deal with, impossible to understand. Until you. When you rooted yourself in my life…that was my beginning. Do you understand what I’m saying, Nova? You were my beginning and you’ll be my end. You’re the light in my world, saving me from perpetual darkness.”

“You’re wrong,” she whispers. “You’re so sure you’re dark, cold. But you’re not.”

“I am,” I tell her.

“Not with me,” she counters.

I chuckle. “No baby, not with you.”

Leaning up, Nova holds the side of my face in her hand and softly rises on tiptoes to touch her lips to mine. “Then that’s all that matters to me.” I feel my shoulders sag and a weight roll from my back that I didn’t realise I was carrying. I had no idea that subconsciously I was worried she would be scared by my darkness. I’ve changed since we were kids and I didn’t know if she could accept the me that I am now. Once again she has proved how strong and loving she is.

“Shall we go and see Jenson or spend the day in bed?” Nova asks winking and immediately lifting the mood.

“Ahh, you’re killing me baby. As much as I would love to be between your legs for the rest of the day, I think you still need a couple more days to recover, before I fuck you like it’s the last thing we’re ever gonna do,” I say and watch her bright blue eyes flare with want. It’s almost enough to crumble my resolve. But I’ve been saying no since we arrived home. I’ve been so scared that she would make her ribs worse that I haven’t been willing to take the chance…my restraint is wearing thin now though. “Come on, I need to see Jenson. I’m not sure how well he’s doing without Hilary,” I explain grabbing her hand and bringing it to my lips, kissing the back and relishing the warmth. Jenson, the poor bastard will never have this with Hilary again. It’s strange how different my mind works now Nova is back. It makes me vulnerable. I’ve never had a weakness, now I have a bunch of them. With her being at the top of that list.

“Come on, before we really don’t make it out the house.” She winks pulling away and grabs my car keys before opening the door. I roll my eyes.

“You’re not fucking driving my car, Nova,” I call out after her and I just hear her giggle.

I feel so uncomfortable. After initially getting here and throwing myself at Jenson to say thank you over and over again for what he did for me, I have kind of sat back and said nothing. That’s because this man is breaking…and he’s not hiding it. Not even a bit. I’m not sure he’s capable of hiding it. Dane is talking to him and I’ve zoned out for a while, trying to give them space without leaving the room. Dane likes me to stay with him when we’re somewhere new these days. I’m hoping he’ll chill out as time goes on, but for now I give him whatever he needs.

“Did you find out what happened?” Dane asks Jenson.

“I pieced some of it together and Archer looked into the rest. It seems that there actually was a disk with the locations of military grade hardware and the means to access it, but Archer intercepted that disk before it hit my office. He had intel that said there was a mole. He didn’t know who, so he took matters into his own hands in the hope of smoking the fuckers out. Didn’t expect them to come here and kill Hilary.” He shakes his head and throws back a shot of—from the look of the bottle—whiskey. Immediately pouring himself another and throwing that back too. “Archer played with us all because he didn’t know who to trust and she got caught in the motherfucking crossfire, and I can’t even blame him, because I allowed her to stay in my life, I knew the risk and yet I was still selfish.” His eyes look over at Dane and I can see they’re lifeless, completely blank like he’s just a shell working on automatic. My heart aches for him and I finally understand why Dane’s programmed the way he is. This was his mentor. He’s only forty and yet he acts as if his life is over. He blames himself for it all. I can see how Dane has grown to be like him. Knowing that this can happen to someone you love makes you vulnerable, and the person you love becomes a target. I see why Dane carries such a burden.

“Does Archer know where Ryan came from? You had photos of him on your laptop and one specifically,” Dane says and glances to me.

“Yeah,” Jenson says and throws another shot of whiskey down his throat. “Years ago I watched you both, I wanted to recruit someone, as you know. You caught my eye, but I kept tabs on the two of you. Started training. When you came into my circle, I still followed him for a few months and that’s it. A little over three weeks ago I found out who Elizabeth was…your Nova…so I was waiting until you came back from your brother’s wedding to talk with you about it. Shit happened in between, and that’s that.” He stops and has another shot.

“You need to take it easy, you should still be on medication, you shouldn’t be drinking that much.”

Jenson spits out a choked laugh then smirks before shouting, “You think I give a shit that I might do myself some damage. Don’t tell me Dane. I watched you nearly give everything up. Why was that? Remember and know how I feel. Don’t fucking tell me.”

Dane sighs and nods. “Okay, well, we’ll go for now. I’ll be coming around to see you soon though. Try to pull yourself through. It’s what she would want.” Jenson’s shoulders stiffen, but he says nothing just nods and turns back to the bottle. “Come on baby,” Dane says to me softly and takes my hand leading me out of Jenson’s home.

“Wait,” I say and quickly walk back to Jenson. When I get in front of him, I drop down and wrap my arms around him again.

“If you’re going to say thank you again you can save it,” he tells me. “I’m beginning to wish I didn’t do it, maybe I could get some peace then,” he continues, but I hear the gentle way he says it to me as he rubs my back.

“You know about Dane and me, how we feel about each other, that we were apart for years. I think you understand the feelings, and also that there are none stronger. Maybe you had that with Hilary. I need to say, I get her position. If I were her, I would want him to carry on.” I feel Jenson stiffen, but when he says nothing I continue, “I wouldn’t want him to drink himself into oblivion, knowing there’s nothing I could do to stop it, that I’d be powerless. The worst thing is I know that I wouldn’t be remembered, because you see, I’d want to be remembered as only he could, the way he loves me, I want someone to feel that when they remember me, only he could do that. So if he were drinking to forget, then I’d be forgotten.”

He leans up and I can smell his pungent whiskey breath as he kisses my cheek and whispers, “Dane will never forget you. That man will love you forever and I can see why. Thank you, Libby. I understand why he says you’re the light.” Moving back from me, I see his silent tears mapping their highway down his face. As I’m about to open my mouth, he turns away and looks out the window. I realise that’s his polite way of telling me to leave. I get back up and whisper goodbye before joining Dane in the hall.

“You okay? he asks me tenderly.

“Yeah, I just wish there was something more I could do for him,” I explain dropping my head.

“Hey,” he says, stopping and grabbing my chin, lifting my face until he catches my gaze. “He has to move past this, you can’t do any more than be there for him if and when he needs us, that’s all we can do. I don’t know if he’ll ever get past it. I wouldn’t if it were you.” Leaning down Dane captures my lips with his and softly sweeps across them before pulling back. “Come on, let’s leave him be, the last thing he wants is a happy couple in his home.” Then he pulls me outside and back to the car.

We start driving away and I bite my lip not wanting to ask the question that’s been floating around my head since being at Jenson’s.

“You want to grab some lunch?” Dane asks and I look over to him nodding as I do. “What’s up? You have that look on your face, the one that tells me you’re over-analysing things.”

“No, I’m fine,” I reply.

“Listen, we have a lot of things to talk about, things we’ve been putting off since we came out of the hospital. But what we need be able to do is talk to each other. Otherwise, we’ll never sort anything out. The centre of any good relationship is communication.” He stops and rubs his chin in thought.