Love Starved (8 page)

If meeting Angel the first
time around, back in May, had been stressful, it was nothing to waiting for him to come pick Micah up on Friday afternoon.

Yes, Micah already knew the man he was going to meet, so he wasn’t going in blind. Angel would deliver exactly the mirage Micah needed from him—he’d be perfect, just as he’d been the last two times. The problem was, this time, Micah was keenly aware that Angel didn’t really want to take this job.

They were supposed to get to the cabin in time for late dinner, so Angel was picking him up at three. Micah left the office at two and sped home, irrationally convinced he would be late, only to have so much time to spare he cleaned his kitchen and repacked his suitcase to have something to do. He was sitting around twiddling his thumbs and trying to think of ways to make this trip bearable for both of them when the doorbell rang.

Angel stood there smiling when Micah opened the door, looking as if he didn’t have a care in the world. He was wearing simple blue jeans and a black V-neck T-shirt, which contrasted nicely against his tanned skin. His sandy hair was in perfect disarray. He kissed Micah’s cheek just as he had the first time they’d met.

“Hi, boyfriend. Ready to go? It’s shaping up to be a beautiful weekend,” he said, and Micah blinked slowly, frowning.

“Hey. You don’t have to do this, you know. You can save the act for when we’re there. I really don’t expect you to keep it up for two full days nonstop.”

Angel just waved his hand dismissively. “I’ll be fine. You called me on a bad day. I was tired and got weirdly paranoid. Sorry for that.” He reached for Micah’s small suitcase, picking it up from the floor. “Besides, I still owe you something.”

“You do? What’s that?” Micah asked, grabbing his garment bag and following him out the door.

“Your fantasy. I didn’t succeed, not entirely, and it’s bothering me. I don’t like to leave things half-done.”

He tried to take Micah’s hand when they walked to the elevator, but Micah stopped, pulling it away. “It doesn’t work like that,” he said. “I don’t think you
can
succeed.”

“Well, I’ll take it as a challenge.” Still beaming, Angel strode down the hall.

Micah shook his head and followed him at a slower pace. It was going to be a long weekend.

Today, Angel drove a blue
Prius.

“The Mini was a rental.” He smiled at Micah’s surprised expression. “That beautiful evening begged for a convertible. I wouldn’t buy one for myself, though, not for Minnesota winters.”

Ah. That made sense. Micah was once again impressed with the attention to detail Angel showed while preparing for a job, and the planning that must go into each encounter. Angel was good: He’d proven it before. Maybe this time would be fine, too. Maybe Micah should stop worrying about bothering Angel and lying to his own family and just relax. He had a role to play too, after all.

“So why didn’t you just tell your family that we’d broken up? I thought that was the plan.” Angel said half an hour into their drive. “I mean, I’m not complaining, but the way you’re talking about this, it sounds more like you’re backed up against a wall than genuinely interested in showing them you’re not single. Are they threatening to disown you if you don’t find a partner or something?”

Micah snorted and turned in his seat so that he could comfortably watch Angel. So far they hadn’t talked much besides discussing music to play on the way.

“No, nothing like that. But they worry, especially my mom. She thinks I’m unhappy alone. If I had just told Claudia we were over before she blabbed all about you, it would be fine, but I got distracted and forgot.”

Angel put his hand to his chest. “I am wounded. How could you forget our pretend love?”

“Work. And since Claudia already told them, my love life is in the spotlight, and I can’t just announce that we broke up immediately.”

“Why not? What does it matter?”

Micah sighed. “Because I bet half of my extended family knew the same day my mom heard about you. And the mere thought of their collective concern and their sympathy and the constant questions about why, what happened, and am I all right makes me want to run and hide, not spend the weekend with them. Besides, it’s supposed to be my parents’ special day. I don’t want it overshadowed with my dating woes, much less pretend ones.”

“Is it like that with your every boyfriend?” Angel arched an eyebrow, his eyes focused on the road ahead. “One might think they would get bored after three or four.” When Micah didn’t reply, Angel cast a quick glance at him. “Micah?”

“I only ever had one,” Micah mumbled, looking away. “In college. He left me after two years and I haven’t been interested in dating again since. So no, they don’t do this too often. It’s just that it’s been so long.”

He stole a look at Angel, suddenly desperate to see his reaction. Would it be pity? Disbelief? Judgment? But Angel was still focused on the road, his expression unchanged, neutrally kind. The question he asked was none of those Micah was expecting to hear.

“Are you still in love with him?”

Micah stared. “Who, Brian? God no.”

“Then why no dating?” It didn’t sound like criticism, just curiosity. For some reason Micah didn’t mind answering, as he usually did.

“I’m just better off alone.”

“Oh, okay.”

And that was that—no judgment, no more questions. Micah’s affection toward Angel grew.

They drove in comfortable silence for a while, with only the upbeat rock music from Angel’s road playlist filling the space. Micah stared at the fields whooshing by outside the window, the familiarity of the views making his heart ache with so many sweet memories. He should do this more often—take a break, even just for a few days, and drive up to Grand Marais, where he always recharged best. Just the road soothed him already.

Angel gasped when the first view of Lake Superior opened before them, breathtaking as ever. Micah turned to him with a smile.

“You’ve never seen it before?”

“Not in person, no.” Angel’s eyes were wide and he slowed the car down, stealing glances at the view. “It looks like an ocean.”

It really did, especially when the water was choppy like tonight. It never failed to affect Micah, that first view, no matter how many times he’d seen it before.

“Oh, you’re in for a treat,” he said, delighted to be able to offer something new and beautiful. “Come on, there will be plenty opportunities to look farther on.”

They stopped in Duluth for a gas and pee break, and then Micah’s favorite part of the drive began. The road led mostly right along the lakeshore. The open view at the vast expanse of water, bordered by the sharp cliffs and rocks typical for this side of the lake, disappeared behind trees every now and then. They rolled their windows down, letting in the pine-scented air, and Micah entertained Angel, pointing out hiking trails and lakeside resorts and the best restaurants and pie shops on the way, and telling stories of each spot he’d ever stopped at with his family. Angel listened, fascinated, asking questions and grinning at each silly detail.

“I love this,” he said. “I love seeing new places. I’ve always wanted to travel all over the world, but so far, I’ve only visited a few states.”

Micah had a sudden urge to take him
everywhere.

It was only after another hour that Angel was able to pull his focus from the view and turn to Micah.

“Okay, so help me prepare for my role. You said that your parents are accepting toward your sexuality. How about the rest of the guests? Should we expect any trouble?”

Micah thought about the three dozen people who were supposed to be at the celebration and shook his head. “I don’t think so. My family is generally an open-minded bunch, and so are my parents’ friends. Everyone knows I’m gay. One of my aunts will most likely ignore that we’re supposed to be boyfriends and tell herself and everyone else we’re just friends. And some people might avoid us because they still haven’t figured out how to talk to me since I came out, but they’re harmless.”

Angel snickered. “Oh, I know the type. It’s like they think you expect them to talk about gay sex with you, or marriage equality, or I don’t know, fashion trends and Broadway shows. As if you’d come out as an alien. They don’t mind, but they don’t know what to do with you.”

“Yes!” Micah exclaimed. “Thank God someone understands.”

Angel grinned at him. “Okay then, let’s go over the facts. We know how we met, when was that? How long have we been together?”

Micah thought for a moment. “Two months. Our first date was the second week of May. I don’t know how long you had stalked me before.”

Angel gasped. “I didn’t
stalk
anyone. I’ll have you know that I was very subtle and well-mannered in my completely innocent observation-slash-fixation.”

Micah chuckled. “I guess I’d have to be there to know. Okay, how old are you?”

“Twenty-six.”

“Where do you come from?”

“North Dakota.”

“Is that the official version or a fact?”

Angel shot him an amused glance and didn’t answer.

“Okay, college?” Micah asked. “I know you must have studied law, but where?”

“Hmmm. New York?”

Micah shook his head. “Bullshit. You wouldn’t end up here.”

“Fair enough. Is Chicago too close?”

Micah considered. “No, it should be fine. Why did you move to Minneapolis?”

“I like lakes.” Angel was clearly having fun with this. “Also, found work here? Followed a boyfriend? A girlfriend? I had a dream?”

Micah laughed out loud. “Let’s leave it at work. Have I met your friends?”

Angel nodded sagely. “You have. You declared them boring. I was mildly offended. We may break up over that in the future if you want. Have I met yours?”

“Well, you’ve met Daphne,” Micah said, his face heating up as he remembered in what circumstances that had happened.

“Ooh, right, Daphne! Her husband, too, I’m guessing? We could have gone on a double date.”

Micah’s eyes widened. “Wait, no. Abort. Not a word about Daphne to my parents.”

“Why not?”

“They know her now. I mean, they’ve never met her, but I asked her for recommendations for an event planner on their behalf, and eventually she just called my mom to offer advice, and now they’re best buddies. If Daphne hears your name, she’ll know immediately and she’ll never let me live it down. Especially since I didn’t tell her I contacted you at all.”

Angel laughed. “Oh, the web of lies and concealment you’re weaving. You know you’re bound to trip and get caught in it one of these days, right, sweetheart?” He reached to squeeze Micah’s knee, which made Micah’s face flush even hotter.

“Shut up, I don’t intend to let it go on for much longer. Just help me survive this weekend and you’ll never hear from me again.”

“Aw, you’re hurting my feelings.” Angel pouted. Even in profile, he looked ridiculous. And adorable. “But fine, abandon me after such a promising relationship. What do we usually do when we’re together, anyway?”

Micah pondered it. “Hmm, we go out to eat or have coffee? Watch movies and enjoy long walks?”

“What was the last movie you’ve seen, Mr. I-work-day-and-night?”

“Um.” Micah paused. Damn, Angel was right. He hadn’t been to a theater in at least a year, and he hardly watched anything at home, either, slowly abandoning the hope of getting caught up on the TV shows he liked.

“And there’s only so much time we can spend eating out and enjoying the fresh air; no one’s gonna buy that,” Angel said.

Micah huffed, annoyed. “So what do you propose, then?”

“We’re having tons of sex,” Angel stated, and Micah somehow managed to choke on air. Angel patted his knee and continued, “We don’t even have to say it. We can just be mildly suggestive, hinting at precious private time between our two busy jobs, and I can guarantee no one will ask for details.”

“I’m not sure I can be even mildly suggestive in front of my family,” Micah admitted.

“That’s okay. I can.” Angel grinned. “Now, there are snacks and drinks in the mini fridge behind my seat. Get us something to munch on and tell me everything I need to know in order to sound like the most charming, attentive boyfriend you could imagine.”

With some chips and a Pepsi in hand—Angel requested some string cheese and water—Micah launched into a monologue about his family.

After the initial flurry of
greetings and introductions, the evening at the lake house was quiet. Most of the guests would arrive in the morning, and those who had farther to travel and were there already stayed at a hotel in town. Almost everything was prepared for tomorrow and running smoothly, thanks to the event planner Daphne had recommended, so the only thing left to do was enjoy a nice family dinner with Micah’s parents, Claudia and Brad.

It had been a while since they had last met like this, their whole family together, and despite his lingering nerves Micah had to admit that he enjoyed it immensely. The warmth of this home where so many good memories lingered and the quiet evenings with his family were among the few things he missed. He made a mental note to try to visit more often. Neither Grand Marais nor his family home were far from the city; Micah could certainly afford to visit more than twice a year. He knew he made this promise every year, but maybe it was time to start keeping it. Wasn’t he supposed to be an adult?

Angel played his role perfectly—charming everyone, looking at Micah with suitable adoration, listening to stories of Micah’s youth with delight, and commenting at all the right moments. He even took Micah’s hand under the table a few times, pretending to be subtle, but playing it so that no one missed the gesture. His mom winked at Micah and his dad’s grin couldn’t be wider, and for a moment, Micah felt awful.

Then he was effectively distracted.

“Oh honey, you’ve barely eaten anything!” his mom exclaimed, looking at Angel. “Don’t you like chicken? Maybe I can make something else for you, instead? Silly me, I should have asked if you’re a vegetarian.”

She was right. Angel’s plate was practically full; food had been moved around but hardly touched.