Lucas: The Hunter Brothers Series (23 page)

“Is
she here?” he asked and there was silence.

“I’m
going now, Jess. Some dickwad just turned up and there are a few things he
needs to hear,” she said as the phone went dead and my heavy heart sank in my
chest, wishing I’d have caught the tube. I wasn’t certain it was Lucas who
needed a reprimand, jumping off the bus two stops early and running as fast as
I could. I was panting and breathless as I reached the apartment, pulling open
the door and half expecting to walk into world war three.

I
was shocked by the sight that greeted me, glancing briefly at Lucas who was
sitting coolly in the chair, his face set in that familiar unreadable line
before turning my gaze on Chas who looked like she’d been thoroughly chastised.
It was as unusual as it was disconcerting and I threw her a puzzled frown as
she looked up at me and announced that she was going out.

I
stared at Lucas as he rose from the chair, his demeanour the same as it was the
morning of the cancelled New York trip as a shiver of fear ran through me. He
looked controlled, calculating and more than a little menacing.

“Don’t
ever fucking leave me in a restaurant again,” he said firmly as I swallowed
hard against his gaze, confusion tearing me up inside and I had to say my
piece.

“What?
I’m supposed to put up with everyone staring at me on your arm like I don’t
deserve to be there? You saw how people looked at me when we walked in. Then
your dad made that horrible comment, and I came out of the bathroom to see your
perfect fiancée sitting in my seat,” I snapped, trying to conceal the guilt I
felt with hurt and anger.

“Ex-Fiancée,
and am I responsible for any of that?” Lucas asked as I shook my head, trying
to hold back the tears. He wasn’t and I knew it, but I was struggling with so
many emotions right now it was difficult to cope.

“No”
I whispered quietly as he tilted his head, searing me with a gaze so intense it
stole the breath from my lungs.

“No,
Jessica, and yet I am the one you walked out on,” he said as I gazed at the
floor. I didn’t have an excuse, only the truth.

“I
couldn’t handle it,” I said, which only seemed to increase the barely contained
rage that was simmering just below the surface of that outwardly calm facade.

“Well
start handling it. You’re with me because I want you to be and I thought that’s
what you wanted too. My father’s comment was not aimed at Dexter and if you
knew Scarlett, you might even find yourself agreeing with him. Roberta came
back to the table to tell us that Tyler’s record company is up for sale. She
thought I might be interested as a business associate and a friend because
that’s what we are now. You’d have known all this if you’d bothered to stay.”

“Well
I can only imagine what your father would say if he knew about Dexter,” I said,
trying to hold my point and make excuses for my behaviour even though I knew it
was utterly futile and carried no weight.

“I
am all out of give-a-fucks, princess, but I am not all out of punishments. I
have no idea what is going on in your head right now. If you want this,
Jessica, be at the club tomorrow. If not, then don’t,” he said, turning and
walking angrily out of the apartment as I slumped into the couch and sobbed. I
wanted it more than he knew, and that was the whole problem and the reason I
was acting so crazy. I needed Lucas, but from the bite of his angry words just
now, I wasn’t convinced he was entirely bothered either way and the thought
absolutely crushed me. I needed to get my shit together.

CHAPTER 18

I
was filled with trepidation today and an anxiety that was unfamiliar to me as I
made my way into the club. Lucas had been furious yesterday and I knew that I
was about to experience proper punishment for the first time and my heart was
pounding. I’d re-read the contract last night and broken practically every
submissive rule there was to break.

 
I was early and glad I’d decided to seek out
Zac’s advice. I didn’t feel in a position to ask Lucas anything right now, and
needed to work with this fear before it consumed me completely. I made my way
slowly to his office, trying to quell the nerves that were running riot through
my veins.

I’d
fucked up and I had to pay, wondering what the hell that payment would be and
stopping dead outside the door of Zac’s office which was open just enough for
me to hear the deep voice that was so familiar. I shouldn’t stay, or at the
very least I should make my presence known, lifting my hand to knock quietly.

“I’m
not certain this thing is going to work out, Zac,” I heard, my hand freezing mid
air and clenched as tightly as my chest when a deeper fear gripped me. The fact
that Lucas could decide to end this, crushed me far more powerfully than any
anxiety about a damn punishment. I stood there silent and wide eyed listening
to Zac’s deep chuckle.

“You’re
a strict Dom, Lucas. You are renowned for it and you have to make a number of
adjustments. You’ve already spent more time with Jess than you have with your
other submissives. I understand why you’d want to whip her. I’d feel the same
way, but she’s in training and you know well enough never to deliver
punishments in genuine anger,” he said as Lucas laughed gently.

“Yeah
I do, and I’m not certain I’d stop at ten lashes, she drives me fucking crazy,”
he said as I was gripped by anxiety.

“I
don’t know if she’s cut out for this. It’s difficult to tell because she has so
little experience and I think she’s only doing it for me. It would be easier if
she’d been into the lifestyle before we met and then I’d know for sure.
Sexually, I’m pretty certain she’ll let me do anything, that’s not the problem.
The issue is that she can’t seem to manage the basics,” he said, his voice
suddenly serious as I stood there debating whether to try and force my iron
feet to move. I’d learnt before that eavesdropping on Lucas’s private
conversations could land me in serious hot water.

“She
stormed out on me in the middle of a fucking business meeting because my father
made a comment that she didn’t like. Jesus Christ, if any employee had done
that I’d have fired them on the spot and if an experienced sub did it, well I
don’t even want to think about what I’d be doing for my retribution,” he said
as Zac chuckled deeply.

“Give
her a chance, Lucas. You’re not used to your lives overlapping any more than
she is. On top of that you’re used to experienced subs. Training can be tough
and the first few weeks are always a tremendous learning curve – for both of
you. It isn’t an Amelia situation, is it?” Zac asked as Lucas laughed and my
stomach churned. Who the fuck was Amelia?

“No.
Amelia was a non-starter. Jess is different, but I’ll know for certain today
whether we can move forward with things as they are. It will be the first
serious punishment she’s had,” he said as I tiptoed backwards, away from the
door and scurried off to our room with my heart thumping through my chest. I
sat on the bed, Lucas’s words whirling through my brain.

I
had to do this. If I wanted this to continue with Lucas I had to show him I
could be a submissive and that I was learning. The alternative was unthinkable
as I blinked away the hot tears that were pricking at the back of my eyes. We
had only just started on this journey and I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but there
was no way I wanted it to stop. If it was the whip I would have to accept it,
trust Lucas not to take it too far or punish me more than I could handle. It
came down to trust and ‘red’; the one word that could put an end to it if I
really couldn’t handle it.

I
took deep breaths, trying to calm my senses and control the churning nerves as
I stood, stripping naked and kneeling, ready for my Dominant and whatever
punishment he saw fit to serve me with.

I
stared at the floor for what felt like an eternity before the door opened and I
forced myself to keep gazing downwards until I was instructed otherwise. It was
all in the contract, but I was struggling to remember it right now as my heart
began to race, almost choking me with nerves and hoping my silent display of
deference would encourage him to go a little easier on me.

“Look
at me,” he said, his voice even and calm as I took a deep breath and looked up,
an involuntary smile flickering on my lips as I took in that beautiful,
unreadable face. “I assume you understand what will happen today, Jess,” he
said as I nodded.

“I’d
like to know why you think you are being punished,” he said as I held his gaze.
I’d had half a mind to protest that because we weren’t in the club it shouldn’t
have counted, but after what I’d read last night and just overheard, I knew it
wasn’t the right way to play this. I understood full well what the issues were.

“I
haven’t been holding up my side of the deal, Sir,” I started, trying to get the
tremble in my voice under control. “I acted rashly yesterday and my behaviour
was unacceptable. I blamed you for things that weren’t your fault, gave you no
opportunity to explain and showed disrespect personally and professionally when
I left you in the restaurant. I understand that respect underpins what we have
in our partnership and private relationship, wherever we are, even when I am
not actively submitting. I’m sorry. I should have let you know my issues and
talked it through.”

Lucas
walked across to the rack on the wall, running those long, incredible fingers
over the whips, turning to look at me as a shudder of fear ran through my body
and he was watching me intensely.

“Showing
disrespect is absolutely unacceptable, Jessica, and that goes for both of us”
he said, moving across to the edge of the bed, beckoning me to stand before he
sat on the edge with his legs parted slightly. I wondered whether he’d changed
his mind about the whip. God, I hoped so.

“I
am going to spank you,” he said firmly as my stomach did an involuntary victory
flip and a small smile played around my mouth, soon fading when I saw the stern
look on his face.

 
“There are different kinds of spanking and
before you smile too broadly, I want to inform you that this is not for
pleasure and it will hurt. Do you understand?” he asked as I nodded. However
hard his hand might be, it had to be less painful than that severe looking
black leather whip. Besides, I wasn’t certain I believed him; I’d more than
enjoyed it when he’d spanked me before.

I
followed his hand as he gestured for me to lay over his lap, hearing the sharp
intake of hissed breath through clenched teeth, my body tensing as I braced
myself for what was about to come. I loved being spanked by Lucas. How hard
could it be?

I
soon got my answer as his hand came crashing down over my exposed flesh, hot
tears stabbing my eyes as I cried out loud and I realised immediately that he
hadn’t been lying.

Fuuuuuuccccckkkkkk.

That
must have hurt his palm almost as much as it hurt my red hot stinging arse. Another
one landed on the opposite cheek, just as painful as the first and my cells
erupted in a blistering heat, my brain that was normally bombarded by a dozen
different messages was hearing only one from my body today.
PAIN.

 
I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to distract
myself. I had to show Lucas I could do this. Most of the time it was great, but
if I fucked up I got punished and I never wanted to fuck up again as the next
three painful spanks landed, searing white heat spreading across my arse as the
silent tears began to fall.

‘Red’.
It was on
the tip of my tongue as my body fought with my brain to say it. Normally the
battle was the other way around, the cells of my flesh screaming pleasure while
my brain threw a silent warning to protect my heart. I was awash with
confusion. How could someone who wanted to protect me, hurt me this way? How
could Lucas enjoy this? Why was I letting him do this to me?

It
went against every grain of pre-programmed logic as another punishing and
brutal blow hit the tender flesh just above my thighs and I cried out.
 
I had to trust him. This whole thing was
underpinned by faith in my Dom and he knew more than I did. He was teaching me
a lesson about respect.

He’d
warned me at the start that I’d think him cruel or harsh sometimes, but I’d had
no idea then what that meant. Christ, I was finding out now as he dealt another
agonising blow. It was part of the deal. I was happy to accept the unbelievable
pleasure, and that didn’t exist without the threat of pain. Reward and
punishment; they made up the two halves of the whole and it was my fault I was
on the receiving end of this, not his.

 
I tried to shut down my thoughts and relax
into it. I had to accept it. It was the only way through this and I pulled on
every ounce of my internal discipline, fighting against the natural impulse to
get the hell out of that situation.

I
wasn’t certain how many more blows there were. My arse was on fire, every cell
burning with piercing heat as I felt his soft palm running over my ignited
skin, soothing the area with his touch and breaking through my hazy
consciousness. I’d zoned out, focusing on a spot on the floor and concentrating
all my energy on that, hearing his words, his voice soft and firm.

“Stand
up, Jess.”

I
stood before him on shaky legs, my eyes glazed and my cheeks wet with tears. I
could feel my backside glowing with aggravated heat as I looked at him,
surprised to find an undeniable shadow of pain in his eyes. If I thought he’d
got off on that I was wrong.

“I
did not enjoy doing that, Jessica, and I sincerely hope I will never have to do
it again,” he said seriously as I shook my head quickly.

I’m
sorry, Sir,” I whispered, trying to smile as an odd unease washed over me. Suddenly
I was feeling worse for Lucas than I did for myself.

“You
made a mistake and you’ve been punished. That’s the end of it now,” he said and
I smiled, overcome with emotion and finding myself saying, “Thank you, Sir.”

It
was strange, my desire to please Lucas overtaking the riot of other thoughts
invading my brain and telling me I was crazy to be thanking someone for hitting
me. This was a total headfuck, but I had been warned. All I wanted was for the
man who had unleashed this pain to hold me and comfort me. I should have wanted
to run. Why didn’t I want to run?

“Come
here and lay on your front,” he said gently as I followed his instruction and
he moved beside, rubbing some kind of cooling cream into my exposed flesh which
helped slightly with the sting as my body started to shiver. He wrapped me
tightly in a soft blanket as I curled up, unable to rest any weight on my
punished backside and Lucas pulled me into his arms. We lay there silently, our
synchronised breathing the only sound in the room.

We
were still for well over an hour as gradually and extremely slowly the heat and
the pain radiating though my skin began to subside. He just held me, stroking
my hair, silently and rhythmically and the comfort in that small gesture was
almost overwhelming.

 
I was still sore, and I’d remember this long
after the pain had diminished, not just for the discomfort in my tender
backside. The way I felt for displeasing Lucas was far worse than the
punishment he’d inflicted, watching him as he stood, still fully clothed and
turned to face me.

“My
driver will take you home. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said as I smiled up at
him and I knew from the look on his face that today had taken its toll on both
of us.

“I’m
sorry,” I said again as he nodded and smiled, a tight smile that didn’t meet
his eyes. He left the room and I got myself dressed, heading home with a heavy
heart and never wanting to experience that again.
 

Chas
was working as I settled down with Dex after tea, unable to sit properly and
grateful for his suggestion that we play board games as I knelt on cushions by
the coffee table. “When is Lucas coming again, Mummy?” he asked as I shrugged
and smiled.

“I
don’t know, sweetheart,” I replied, enjoying several rounds of ‘Operation’ and
‘Buckaroo’ before bathing him and taking him to bed.

Time
with Dexter was the only thing that stopped my mind constantly obsessing about
Lucas and he’d set it off again just like that. I decided on an early night,
almost asleep as my phone rang and I pulled it from the nightstand, smiling when
I saw the number. He rarely called me.

“How
are you, sweetheart?” he asked, his voice soft as I smiled down the line.

“I’m
fine thank you, Sir,” I said, assuming he was referring to my stinging arse and
this was not a business call.

“Good.
A punishment like that can take it out of you. I recommend an early night and
lots of cream to help your recovery.”