Made For Us (18 page)

“Quinn, this is Zoe. Zoe, this is my brother Quinn. He used to race cars. Now he does custom auto body stuff and makes really old cars look new again.”

Quinn walked in and shook Zoe’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Same here,” she said before turning to Darcy. “So…about that catalog?”

“What? Oh, right. Yeah, I found it out there and brought it in here so nothing would happen to it. I put it in the drawer. It looked important.”

“Thanks. My boss will be very happy that I didn’t lose it. She needs it for a client.”

“No problem. Can I come and watch you work when you’re back on-site? I’ve always wanted to see what a decorator does.”

She looked so hopeful and her voice was full of excitement, how could Zoe refuse? “Of course. I’m just waiting to hear from my boss on what date I’m supposed to be back here.”

“Darce,” Quinn said with a little more impatience. “I’ve got to get back to the shop.” He was about to say more when his phone rang. Turning his back on his sister and Zoe, he answered and listened. “Oh, hey, Anna. What’s up?” He paused. “Are you kidding me? When?”

Darcy leaned in close to Zoe. “Anna is Quinn’s best friend. We all think that he should go out with her, but he just doesn’t see it. He says she’s just a friend, but I think they’d be a cool couple.”

Zoe had no idea how to respond to that. They stood together and listened to Quinn’s side of the conversation, and although he was speaking quietly, Zoe could have sworn she heard him say her name. Darcy elbowed her in the ribs and she had no idea why.

“I bet that has to do with Aidan,” Darcy whispered.

Zoe wanted to ask why but just then Quinn turned around, looking flustered.

“Uh…Zoe?” he began nervously and then looked at his sister. “Darce, why don’t you get your stuff together and go put it out in my truck? I’ll be out in a minute.”

She rolled her eyes. “Right. Like I’m not going to want to hear what you just found out about Aidan?! Forget it. Spill!”

“You are spooky. You know that, right?” he said to his sister and then turned his attention back on Zoe. “Look, my dad was supposed to pick up Darcy but he got held up at a job so he asked me to take her home. I’ve got to get back to my shop.” He paused and raked a hand through his hair. “I just found out from a friend—”

“Who should be his girlfriend,” Darcy interrupted and stuck out her tongue when her brother glared at her.

“—that she ran into Aidan at the convenience store, and he’s planning to go out to the house by the woods that got really worked over by the storm. He’s planning to do a bunch of repairs up there by himself. No one else has seen him or talked to him in a couple of days. She said someone needs to go out there to check on him and make sure he’s all right. She would go herself, but she has to get back to work.”

“Oh, well…I can take Darcy home,” Zoe said helpfully. “Really, I don’t mind at all.”

Quinn shook his head. “While I appreciate the offer, I think it might be better if you went and saw about Aidan.”

“Me? Why?”

Indecision was written all over Quinn’s face. He glared one more time, and Darcy finally took the hint and collected her books and sweater and walked out the door with a mumbled good-bye to Zoe. Quinn waited for the door to close before he spoke again. “Look, I know we just met and you don’t know me but…Anna said Aidan’s a bit of a mess and he’s mentioned your name more than once.”

“Mine? How do you know it’s me? I’m not the only Zoe in the city, I’m sure.” It sounded lame to her own ears.

And the look that Quinn gave her showed that he thought the same thing. “So you’re telling me you’re not the same Zoe who stayed at the apartment with Aidan during the storm?”

“How do you know about that?”

“Please, Darcy doesn’t keep anything to herself,” he said with a chuckle. “I can understand if you don’t want to get involved. I mean, I have no idea what your relationship is with my brother. But right now, I owe it to my father to get Darcy home safely and I have a business to get back to. We’ve all been worried about Aidan, and I just thought…you know…maybe you could help out.”

Geez, guilt much?
Reluctantly, she agreed. Quinn grabbed Zoe in a bear hug and thanked her. “Don’t thank me yet,” she said. “I haven’t done anything.”

Quinn walked to the door and turned to wink at her. “Trust me, you are a lifesaver and I have a feeling you are the best person for the job.”

And with that, he was gone.

It didn’t take long to find him. Once Quinn and Darcy left, Zoe had walked around through the construction site and asked one of the foremen if he’d seen Aidan. On the far end of the property was a house that had sustained a lot of damage. As she walked over to it, all she could think was
What
have
I
gotten
myself
into?

This so wasn’t her problem and it had nothing to do with her, really. Why hadn’t she just said no? Let his family deal with him because they’d know what to do. If there was one thing Zoe hated, it was the element of surprise. There was nothing worse than walking into a situation and having no idea what to expect.

Hated. It.

For a brief moment when she reached the house, she seriously contemplated just leaving again. No one would know. It wasn’t like she was ever going to see Quinn Shaughnessy again, and as for Darcy…well…she was a kid and Zoe couldn’t even think about what she’d say to her if she saw her again.

“I am so going to have to take a class on learning how to say no,” she muttered as she climbed the front steps and reached for the door. “Why not just put a tattoo on my forehead that says
sucker
?”

She wasn’t more than two feet inside when she heard Aidan’s muttered curse coming from the second floor. Taking a deep breath, she began slowly climbing the stairs, wondering the entire time what she was supposed to say to him. After all, she still had no idea why he had left her the way he had.

She spotted him in the master bedroom and almost gasped at his appearance. He hadn’t shaved; he looked exhausted and…hell, right now he almost looked like a man without hope. He was in a pair of ripped, faded jeans and a stained T-shirt. She’d never seen him like this. He supervised on the site; he didn’t do the manual labor anymore. It was completely out of character for him. Stopping in the doorway, she leaned on the frame and waited for him to acknowledge her presence.

And waited.

And waited.

She cleared her throat and dropped her purse down on the floor, which seemed to snap Aidan out of his stupor.

“What are you doing here?” he grumbled.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“I asked you first,” he said belligerently as he reached for the hammer in his tool belt. Zoe stepped forward and pulled it out of his grasp and placed it on the worktable behind her. “
Hey!
”

“You have guys who do this sort of thing,” she said simply. “So why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”

Aidan glared at her. “In case you haven’t noticed, there’s a lot of work to be done around here. We had a lot of damage from the storm, so I’m helping out. Sometimes I do that. And what do you care? You left.”

Zoe’s eyes went wide. “
Me?
What are you talking about?”

“I got the message, Zoe, believe me. I offered you a place to stay, and you chose to go somewhere else. You don’t want my help, you said so yourself,” he said defensively and crossed his arms over his chest like a child.

She almost dove across the room at him to shake some sense into him. Instead, she took a deep breath and forced herself to pause before speaking. “Aidan, you’re the one who left. You took off without a word, scaring me half to death, and I was alone and stranded. I didn’t even have my own car. That was the jerkiest behavior I’ve ever seen. I don’t know what it was all about, but you’re a fine one to accuse me of leaving. Surely you can understand that I felt I needed to get myself a place to stay. I didn’t feel I could count on you, Aidan, with that kind of behavior. Maybe other people—like your family—think it’s normal, but from where I come from, it’s not.”

“I told you to stay,” he said. “I told you that you could stay there while you got your stuff worked out.”

Taking a step back, she studied him. “It turns out I got it worked out faster than I thought. Aidan, are we really going to argue about who left whom?”

He just stood there glaring at her, but she had to admit he looked like hell. His face was haggard, his eyes were shadowed—whatever had been going on, this was taking a toll.

“C’mon, Aidan,” she finally said. “You look exhausted. I think you need to go home.” If their history was anything to go by, Zoe was expecting an argument from him. Much to her surprise, he unhooked his tool belt and let it drop to the floor.

Taking one of his hands in hers, she led him out of the room, down the stairs, and out the door. Once outside she let go of his hand just in case anyone saw them and was surprised when he reached for her and took it back. Together, they walked in silence back to Zoe’s car.

“Do you need to talk to any of the guys before you leave?” she asked.

Aidan shook his head. “Everyone knows what they need to do. I was just back there because I needed something to do by myself.”

They climbed into her car and she heard him sigh wearily. Zoe looked at him—really looked at him—and knew whatever he was dealing with was hitting him hard.

That left her two options—she could take him home and hope he’d wake up tomorrow in a better frame of mind, or she could talk to him now. Starting the car, she got the AC going and then turned back to him. “What’s going on, Aidan? What happened?” His head was back against the headrest, his eyes closed, and for a minute, Zoe didn’t think he was going to answer her.

“I didn’t go to the cemetery.”

What?
“Okay. When?”

“The day after the storm.”

Seriously, what?
“Do you want to go now? I can take you there if you want.”

Aidan turned his head and looked at Zoe with a look of utter devastation on his face. “It was seventeen years ago that she died. Every year we all go to the cemetery together. I didn’t go this year. I forgot. I freaking
forgot
!” His voice rose and then was softer when he continued. “I’ve never missed a year. Never. I wasn’t thinking about the date or what day it was because I was busy fu—”

“I’d be real careful with what you say next,” Zoe warned.

“I was with
you
,” he said angrily. “I forgot about something that was really important because I was too busy…
playing
…around with you.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

He glared at her through eyes he could barely keep open. “What?”

“I mean, you are not seriously going to blame this on me, are you?”

“Didn’t you just hear what I said?” he asked.

It took every ounce of self-control she possessed not to haul off and slap him. Instead, she twisted in her seat to get a clear look at him. “You said that every year you all go to the cemetery, right?”

Aidan nodded.

“And in the seventeen years your mother has been gone, has anyone ever missed a year?”

“Well, yeah, but…”

“Uh-uh…just answer the question. Yes or no?”

“Yes,” he said through clenched teeth. “Riley has missed a couple due to touring conflicts, and Hugh missed it twice because of travel delays but…”

“Okay. Did anyone get on their case for not being there?”

“No, but—”

She held up a hand to cut him off. “Did anyone give you any grief for not being there or is this all self-inflicted grief?”

“No,” he said begrudgingly. “Actually, it was just my dad, Darcy, Quinn, and Anna this year.”

“And why was that?”

“Let it go, Zoe.”

“I’m just trying to understand, Aidan,” she said. “There was a storm, an act of nature that was beyond your control. Have you gone to the cemetery since then?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because…because…I should have been there with everyone else. I…I let her down.”

And in that moment, Zoe’s heart completely broke for him. Without a word, she faced forward and pulled out of the parking spot. She drove quietly through town until she came to the spot she was looking for. When she parked and turned the car off, Aidan turned to look at her.

“What are we doing at the florist?”

“We’re going to the cemetery. I thought you might want to bring flowers.”

He looked at her with disbelief. “I’m not going to the cemetery, Zoe. I can’t.”

She chose to ignore him as she climbed out of the car and walked into the florist. If he wanted to behave like a child, then she’d just have to take matters into her own hands.

There were dozens of bouquets and arrangements to choose from, and Zoe had no idea what kind of flowers Mrs. Shaughnessy had favored, so she went with a bouquet of flowers that she liked. While the florist was putting it together for her, she asked about where the cemetery was. She wasn’t foolish enough to believe there was only one, but she had to have some information just in case Aidan wasn’t forthcoming with telling her.

Once she paid, she walked back out to the car and handed Aidan the bouquet as she climbed in. His eyes opened and he looked at the flowers and then at her as if he’d seen a ghost. “What? What did I do?” she asked, feeling freaked out by the look on his face.

“Why…why did you get these?”

“Because we’re going to the cemetery—like it or not—and I think it would be nice to bring your mother flowers.”

He shook his head and sat up straighter in his seat. “No. I don’t mean why did you… I mean…why these particular flowers?”

“Because they’re cheery.”

“It’s a cemetery, Zoe.”

“All the more reason to bring something cheery. Besides, daisies are my favorite.” She started the car and looked at him expectantly. “The florist told me there are two cemeteries close to here. We can rely on me driving aimlessly or you can tell me which one to go to. Your choice.”

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

She shook her head. “Absolutely not.”

Aidan gave Zoe the directions and then sat back in his seat but not before he put the bouquet of flowers on the console between them, dropping them there as if they’d burned him. They drove in relative silence; he offered directions when she wasn’t sure where to go, but other than that, he sat back and stewed at her high-handedness. “I’m not getting out of the car when we get there,” he finally said.

“Okay.” She shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

“Don’t you get it, Zoe? This isn’t going to work. I don’t care if you drive me there. You can’t fix this!” His voice rose again along with his frustration.

Zoe knew what he was doing. He figured he would try to insult her and yell at her and pretty much tick her off until she just gave up. What he didn’t count on, and clearly didn’t remember, was that she had a stubborn streak of her own.

They pulled up to the gate a few minutes later and there was a guard shack at the entrance where she was able to ask exact directions to Lillian Shaughnessy’s plot. As they drove down the single paved lane through the cemetery, Zoe didn’t dare glance in Aidan’s direction. When she stopped at the row the guard had directed her to, she put the car in park and sighed. “Are you going to take the flowers to your mother?”

He sat silently beside her.

“Fine.” Taking her keys and the flowers, Zoe exited the car and walked determinedly down the row until she came to the Shaughnessy plot. There were a few wilting flowers in the canister there, and tears sprang to her eyes as she read
Beloved
wife
and
mother
. Taking the flowers out, she replaced them with the new ones and then stood back and bowed her head.

“I know you don’t know me, Mrs. Shaughnessy. I’m Zoe.” She paused and took a breath. “I’m a friend of Aidan’s. He’s devastated that he missed coming here with everyone. I don’t have to tell you how stubborn he is or how he’s beating himself up over it. I know you understand and I’m sure you’ve forgiven him, but he can’t seem to forgive himself. I don’t know if there’s a way for you to let him know it’s all right, but if you could, I know he’d feel a lot better.”

Emotions began to clog her throat as she thought about all the times she had wished for a sign from her own mother and never received one. “The thing is, I understand how he feels. You see, my mom’s in heaven too. She’s buried back in Arizona and even though I haven’t been gone long, I still feel guilty that I’m not there to bring her flowers. Not that there’s been a specific occasion to, but I just think it would be nice to bring her flowers…just because. Anyway, maybe you wouldn’t mind sharing these daisies with her. She loves them.” Pausing, she wiped away the tears that had begun to fall.

“He misses you so much. They all do. I just think that Aidan still doesn’t know how to handle his grief. And that just tells me you were an amazing woman. I wish we could’ve met. You raised some amazing children.” She did a final sweep of her tears. “He really is sorry for not being here with the rest of the family. It was kind of my fault; he was protecting me from the hurricane. He saved my life, actually. He’s still beating himself up over it though.” Zoe looked toward her car and smiled sadly. “He’s an honorable man. I’m sure you already know that, but I just wanted to let you know that others know it too.”

She walked slowly back to the car and climbed in without a word. It wasn’t until they were completely out of the cemetery and back out on the main road that she finally asked Aidan for directions to his place. He gave them to her, his voice void of emotion. That was all right with her. She was pretty mentally drained herself.

Fifteen minutes later, she pulled into the driveway of a small house about three blocks in from the beach. The sun was still out and it was barely dinnertime. Without asking him, Zoe got out of the car and followed Aidan to the door and waited as he unlocked it and then followed him inside. The house was dark and it looked like he hadn’t been home in a while.

“Are you going to be okay?” she asked quietly, looking up into his eyes and almost melting at the intensity with which he was looking at her.

“Why are you here?” he asked. The gravelly tone to his voice was back.

“I told you. I was worried about you.”

His dark eyes bored into hers as he stepped in closer until they were touching from chest to toes. He closed the gap by resting his forehead against hers. “Why are you still here?”