Man of Honor (Passion in Paradise Book 4) (24 page)

“All I can say is
that I was young, sweetheart.  Young, dumb, and filled with a burning desire to
prove I was a man with a swinging dick.  My stupidity the night I left you
standing on the side of the road waiting for a ride proves, though, that back
then anyway, I wasn’t much of a man at all.”

“Don’t say that. 
You’re a good man, Zeke, and I
told
you to go,” Honor returned
distantly, all but abandoning her earlier plan to blast him out of her life
with hurtful words.  She couldn’t allow him to think he wasn’t a decent and
honorable man, though.  Not after everything he’d done for her over the years. 
“That’s on me.”

“Hear me, Honor,”
Zeke ordered gruffly, his tone drawing her gaze to him.  “Nothing about that
horrible experience is on you.  It never has been.  As I’ve said many, many
times before – you were a
child
.  I was – supposedly – an adult.  A
fully grown 31 year old man.  Hell, I was a fucking deputy of the law.  And I
left you there.”

Peering up into his
tortured face, Honor fought tears.  She was so
tired
of the pain that
night had brought them all.  She wished she could go back in time and never
cheer at that stupid football game.  She should have stayed home.  She should
have caught that ride with one of her fellow cheerleaders when her teammate had
offered.  She should have just gotten into that stupid car with Zeke and
ignored the faces his woman had made at her that night.

But she hadn’t done
any of those things, and no matter how much she wished differently, she’d never
be able to make different choices.  Her father had always said that a body had
to play the hand they were dealt.  And Lord, did she understand what he meant
now.

“It’s over and done,
Zeke,” she informed him quietly, pursing her lips when she heard his audible
snort of derision.

“It’s not over,
Honor, and you know it.  The fact that you’re in a hospital bed right now
because your nightmares and migraines have gotten so bad that you’ve had to
resort to drugs to try and stem the pain
proves
it’s not over.”

“I’m in this hospital
bed because somehow I ended up with the wrong pills in my bottle, Zeke. 
Although, I’m still not sure how that monster managed to get my pill bottle.  I
always lock up my purse at the office. And someone is always with me at the
house.”

“You wouldn’t have
taken the medication in the first place if you weren’t sleep deprived and
experiencing tension migraines.  And those things are happening because you
haven’t dealt with what happened to you eight years ago, Kitten.”

Feeling her heartbeat
escalate as her agitation built, Honor glared at him.  “I’m dealing the best
way I can, Ezekiel, considering two of those monsters are still running around
free and knowing that they very possibly are responsible for these attempts on
my life.  And yes,” she hissed, her eyes narrowing on his impassive face, “I’m
aware that this whole medication snafu is an attempt on my life. I might be
known for being the sweet McKinnon sister, but I’ve never been stupid,
Sheriff.”

Moving to the side of
her bed, Zeke reached out to cup her jaw and she couldn’t help leaning against
his warm palm.  “No, you’re one of the smartest women I know, and I pray that
you’re gonna be smart now, baby,” she heard him declare in a hushed voice. 
“Take the help that Bree can offer you.  You know in your heart that she’s not
like the other doctors you’ve seen.  Doing this could truly make a difference,
Honor.”

Lifting her eyes to
meet his, Honor’s face twisted unhappily.  “Zeke…”

 “I know you don’t
believe it and don’t want to hear it, but I love you, Honor.  I want you
healthy and strong and ready to kick my ass.  Lately, that sweet, capable woman
I adore has been fading in front of me.  We’ve all seen it.  I
know
you’ve
felt it.  I can’t stand by and watch it happen.  I won’t lose you.  You can
hate me.  You can call me a bully and a bastard.  I don’t care.  As long as I
see the light come back into those gorgeous eyes, it’ll be worth it.  I think
Bree can help with that and so does everybody else.”

“But this isn’t
everybody else’s life, Ezekiel,” Honor pointed out.

“You’re
my
life, Honor.  Don’t try to take that away from me because you wanted to be
stubborn more than you wanted to be saved.  There’s a lifeline here, darlin’. 
Reach out and take it.”

“That ship has
sailed, Zeke.  I can’t be rescued,” she whispered miserably.

“Just fuckin’ watch
me,” he growled a second before he bent and covered her cool parted lips with
his.

Four Days Later

Juggling her keys,
purse and mail as she climbed out of her car in the gravel parking lot of the I
Don’t Care Café four days after being released from the hospital, she was
surprised to find so many familiar cars littering the small lot.  Glancing at
her watch, she frowned when she saw that it was just a little after ten in the
morning, hardly time for a lunch crowd.  Lord, how she hoped nothing awful had
happened in the short time she’d been running errands at the bank and post
office.  Glancing at the screen of her phone, she noted that she hadn’t missed
any calls.

Shouldering her purse
strap, she bumped her hip against the car door to close it and hurried toward
the back entrance of the restaurant and bar she owned with her siblings. 
Frowning as she crossed the threshold to find the normally bustling kitchen
empty, she peered through the order window to see the dining room crowded with
familiar faces.  “What in the world?” she murmured.  Not bothering to drop her
things in her office, she instead dumped her stuff on the metal prep table in
the center of the kitchen and rushed toward the swinging door that lead into
the main body of the café.

Heart in her throat
as she burst into the large room, Honor caught her breath as she crashed into a
familiar broad chest.  Looking up into Sheriff Zeke Monroe’s familiar gray eyes
as his big hands dropped to her waist to steady her, her wide eyes collided
with his furious gaze.  “Zeke?  What are you and everybody doing here in the
middle of the morning?” she asked worriedly, looking over his shoulder at a sea
of concerned, serious faces.  “What’s happened?  And why are you looking at me
like that?” she asked nervously when the muscle in his jaw flexed as his eyes
grew darker.

“You.  You’re what
happened, Honor,” Zeke seethed as he continued to scowl down at her with a kind
of cold fury in his eyes. 

“What are you talking
about?” she asked taking a step back from him to put some distance between the
obviously angry man and herself.  Disconcerted, she stared up at him and tried
to figure out what she’d clearly missed.  Zeke had been in a good mood this
morning when she’d walked into her kitchen to find him pouring himself a cup of
coffee.  He’d been fine when he’d followed her to work this morning from their
house. He’d seemed to be in a normal mood when he’d stopped by the café an hour
later to eat the breakfast of toast and eggs she’d served him.

Now, here he stood,
facing off with her for a sin she didn’t know she’d committed.  And evidently
he’d brought her entire family and half the damn town for backup.

“Dr. Aubrey Daniels
called the house this morning to discuss you canceling your appointment with
her,” he informed her, pointing toward the woman in question, currently
standing at the back of the café by the glass door with her brother, Mack.

“You’re spying on my
phone calls?” Honor blustered, stiffening as her cheeks turned red with guilt. 

“For a while now.  I
had the calls you receive to your landline forwarded to the station so that we
can monitor the line for your safety,” he explained carelessly.  “But that’s
not really the point is it?” he asked softly.  “Why?  Why would you cancel,
Honor?  I thought we were finally getting somewhere?”

Flashing an
uncomfortable look toward the gathered folks watching their dispute, Honor
pursed her lips.  “This isn’t the time for this, Zeke.  We can discuss this
privately when there aren’t dozens of eyes on us.”

“Wrong.”  Zeke denied
flatly with a shake of his head.   “We’re gonna do this here and now. 
Together,” he continued, gesturing toward the assembled group. 

“Wh-what?” she
stuttered nervously as her aunt and uncle rose from a table to stand, their
hands clasped together in a show of unity.  “A-aunt Orla, what’s happening
here?” Honor asked the elderly woman shakily as she felt every eye in the place
focus on her.

“I’m sorry, Sweet
Girl,” Uncle Jethro said before his wife could open her mouth.  “You didn’t
leave us any choice but to do things the hard way.  Your momma and daddy might
be gone, but they left your auntie and me to watch over you girls as the head
of this here family we have, and you’re gonna have to listen to us now.”  Hard
of hearing and always loud, today his voice was like thunder in the still café
and Honor jumped slightly at the sound.

“This here is what
you call an intervention,” Aunt Orla declared with a decisive bob of her head,
picking up where her wise husband left off.  “And you, my girl, are gonna
listen to everything we have to say,” she ordered as Zeke took Honor by the arm
and guided her to a chair facing the room.  “Everyone in this room cares for
and loves you, Honor, and you’ll give them the respect they all deserve!”

Jerking her arm from
Zeke’s grip, she turned to glare at him even as she did as her aunt ordered and
sat down to hear what everyone had to say.  “Is
this
your idea of
helping me, Sheriff?” she asked in a scathing whisper.  “You – who know how
much I hate prying eyes – would allow
this
kind of humiliation?”

Looking down at her
with eyes that held so many emotions it was hard to define a single one, Zeke
squatted in front of her to meet her gaze squarely, unafraid of her wrath. 
“What choice do I have left here, Honor?  What option did you leave me?  Tell
me.”

“Please,” she begged,
meeting his gaze with as much dignity as she could muster.  “Undo this and send
these people home.”

“I’d do anything for
you, Kitten.  Lie, cheat, steal…commit almost any sin.  But I won’t do that.”

Jaw clamping, Honor
fought to control her quivering lips as she lifted her chin defiantly, refusing
to meet anyone’s eyes.  “Then know that I will never forgive you for this,
Ezekiel. 
Never
.”

“If that’s the price
I’m forced to pay for forcing you to get the help you need, so be it. I’ll bear
the cost.”  Sighing, he gave her one last longing look and shook his head sadly
before rising back to his full height.  “Aunt Orla, you’re up first,” he said
quietly to the elderly woman.  “Maybe she’ll be more willing to listen to you.”

Aunt Orla squeezed
Zeke’s arm as he passed her on his way to stand against the wall beside Jake
and Abel.  Slowly making her way to where Honor sat as Jethro resumed his seat
at the table, she offered her niece a hard look.  “Little Girl, I used to turn
you over my knee when you gave me that mutinous little look as a child and
don’t think I’ll stand for it any better now,” the old woman warned in a low
voice meant for Honor’s ears alone.

Looking up at the
woman who’d been a second mother to her, Honor swallowed hard as her face
softened, immediately chastised by her auntie’s stern words.  “I’m sorry,” she
whispered.

“That’s better.” Aunt
Orla nodded her satisfaction, turning to gesture for Slade to carry her a chair
to the front of the room.  Waiting until she lowered herself into the seat, she
leaned forward to take Honor’s small hand in hers.  “I remember the day you
were born, Honor,” she reminisced softly.  “Prettiest baby this county had ever
seen.  And the sweetest disposition a parent could ask for.  Everybody
commented on it to your momma and daddy.  Everybody still comments on it,
sugar.  But with that sweet you’ve got, comes the stubborn, too.  You get that
from your daddy and your uncle,” she noted with a chuckle.  “I swear – when you
were little and somebody tried to help you tie your shoes or reach a high
shelf- it just plumb broke your heart.  You always wanted to do everything for
yourself.”

“I does it!” Uncle
Jethro boomed from a table away from them as his faded blue eyes found Honor. 
“That’s what she’d say.  ‘I does it, Uncie Jetro!’”

“What you never did
learn, though, Honor was a body can’t do
everything
on their own. 
Sometimes, a person needs help.  What I can’t figure is when you started
thinkin’ there was some kind of shame in it?”

“I don’t, Aunt Orla. 
Honestly,” Honor disagreed.

“Honor, you know that
isn’t the truth,” Orla chided.  “Honey, you’ve always been the baby.  Our
baby.  Your parents’.  Mine and Jethro’s.  Your older sisters’.  And eight
years ago, we mistakenly let you have your way after we had a bad experience
with a few doctors.  I’ll bear the responsibility for that since it was
ultimately my decision to allow you to stop going to Knoxville for those
monthly appointment.  We let those silly sawbones intimidate us with their talk
of admitting you to a hospital in Nashville or Atlanta when you quit talking
for those months.  Jethro, your sisters and me… we should have kept looking for
a doc that would have been a good fit to you.  Somebody like that Bree Daniels
standing back there,” the old woman continued, jerking her head toward the
silent physician at the back of the restaurant.  “We all made a mistake and let
you have your way because you were our baby and we were all terrified of
watching you disappear from us completely.”

“Auntie…”

“No, you need to hear
me, Little Girl.” Aunt Orla stopped Honor with a wave of her hand.  “You’re not
a baby anymore, Honor Grace.  You’re a woman grown.  A woman that’s living half
a life because of what happened to you all those years ago.  And now it’s time
for you to stop it.”  Nodding toward the eldest sibling, Aunt Orla rose from
the chair in front of her as Honor saw Jake kiss the side of Harmony’s head
before her sister approached her.

“Honor, your uncle
and I will always love you,” Aunt Orla shared, tears filling her bright blue
eyes.  “But we can’t keep watching you slowly destroy yourself.  It’s time to
accept help or cut ties.  It’s up to you.”

Honor watched,
shocked, as her elderly aunt… her surrogate mother, walked back to take her
place beside Uncle Jethro.  Looking to her oldest sister, Honor shook her
head.  “You gonna threaten me, too, Harm?  You?  You know better than anyone
why I don’t wanna discuss any of this.  With family OR with strangers,” she
hissed, wiping her cheek furiously as a tear spilled over.  “I didn’t see you
running out and getting therapy after that awful ex-husband of yours got
through with us!  How dare you come up here and judge me?” she hissed viciously,
crossing her arms tightly over her chest as she stared at the other woman with
bitter eyes as Harmony looked toward her husband for support. 

“Just tell her how
you feel, Wildcat,” Jake urged his wife, his voice deep and soothing.

Honor shot him a look
of contempt.  “Yes, Harmony.  Do tell me how my trauma affected
you
?  I
can’t wait to hear,” she muttered sarcastically.

“Honor,” Jake
murmured, his eyes steady on the younger woman.  “I get it.  You’re pissed. 
But Harmony adores you.  Do me a favor and hear her out without bein’ hostile. 
This is as hard for her to say as it is for you to hear.  Because we both know
– whether she should or not – she feels a heap of guilt over everything that
happened to you.”

Honor’s eyes widened
as she flushed, suddenly ashamed of the contemptuous words she’d spoken as she
felt Zeke’s dark eyes on her.  God, she was making a fool of herself.  The
quicker they all had their say, the faster she could get out of here and lick
her wounds.  “Fine,” she conceded softly, looking at her eldest sister.  “Let’s
just get this over with.”

Staring at Honor,
Harmony bit her lip, twisting her hand in her longish blonde hair.  “You know
that I love you.  I love you so much, sis.  Heaven and I spent years living
with you, feeling how much you loved us in return, and I can’t deny that a part
of me feels like I’m standing up here, stabbing you in the back.  But, I’ve
been watching you the last several months.  Seeing you almost die…
twice. 
It’s
definitely given all of us in the family a reality check.  Tomorrow…it’s not
guaranteed.  And I want you to be as happy as you can be in the here and now. 
The simple truth is that you aren’t really happy.  You’re just… I dunno…
existing.  And that’s in large part because of the man I brought into our
family.  He’s gone now, but the scars he left remain.”

“Yeah, I know,” Honor
murmured.  “I’m wearing a lot of them on my body.  Same as you, Harmony. 
Nobody made you go wading down memory lane though.  Nobody made you talk about
how he made you feel when he’d beat you for no reason.  Nobody forced your
hand.”

“That’s not true. 
Jake did,” Harmony countered softly.  “He helped me.  He was my sounding
board.  And he helped heal my soul.  The same as Zeke is doing his best to do
for you.  The same as we’re
all
here wanting to do for you.  Now, what
I’ve been through… it doesn’t even compare to what you’ve endured.  But I know
from experience how good it feels when you can finally put the past where it
belongs and look out over your life and see a bright future.  The kind I have
with Heaven and Jake.”

“Good for you,
Harmony,” Honor whispered, her tongue thick in her mouth as emotion choked
her.  “I’m truly glad you’ve found that with Jake.”  And she was.  She’d only
ever wanted good things for her sisters.  And she wanted what they had, too,
but she just didn’t see a way to get it.  Not with the way she felt every time
she thought of what had been done to her.  The idea of sharing her scarred,
disfigured body with anyone… of allowing someone – especially Zeke- to see the
marks those jackals had left all over her body…just no. No!