Married for Christmas (Willow Park) (3 page)

“So do I. I believe in it just as much as you do. What do
you think this is all about? I’m not proposing anything that would somehow
undercut the nature of marriage.” She took a raspy breath. “I would be faithful
to you. I assume you would be too.”

“Of course, I would.” He looked offended at the suggestion
that he would move outside the bounds of marriage—even an unconventional,
practical marriage.

“So what’s the problem?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. He flopped back against the
couch and looked rumpled and tired and bewildered. “It just seems crazy.”

“That’s because you haven’t thought about it enough. It’s
really very practical, thoughtful, and reasonable. Just like me.” She felt
better about everything now. She’d gotten most of it said, and maybe there was
a way he would agree to it.

He gave her a faint smile. “I still think I’d be getting
most of the benefits, and you’d be the one cutting off your future.”

“I told you already. This is the future I want.”

“You’d really be okay with it?”

She could tell she was gaining ground now, and it made her
blood pulse even more. “Of course. I think it’s a brilliant plan. Only…”

“Only what?”

“Part of what I’ve always wanted is children,” she admitted,
looking down at her hands. “There’d be no obligation or anything, but I’d like
for children to be a possibility.”

She waited nervously in the silence that followed. What
she’d said implied they’d have sex, and she wasn’t sure how he would react to
that.

“I always wanted kids too,” he said at last. “Lila and I had
been trying for a couple of years.”

“See?” she said, pushing past the poignancy. She’d had no
idea Lila and Daniel had been trying unsuccessfully to have kids. Just another
heartbreaking note in their story. “It’s perfect for both of us. I know you’d
never admit it, but I think you want a family too. We can both get what we
want.”

Daniel reached over and put his hand over hers in her lap.
She knew by the nature of the touch that he was trying to soften whatever he
was about to say.

She was right. He said, “Jessica, you should marry a man who
can love you the way you deserve.”

She swallowed hard, although she’d never been deceived about
his feelings for her. It didn’t matter. She was serious about no longer looking
for romance. Being part of a family was most important to her. “I know you
don’t love me romantically, but weren’t you even listening? That’s not the
point. We love each other in the way it most matters. We’re friends. We support
each other. We have a good time together. We can be partners. We’d be good
together as parents. I really think we would.”

He let out a strange breath and glanced away from her,
staring at a spot on the ground. Then he heaved himself to his feet and carried
the plates into the kitchen.

She knew he was just thinking, so she didn’t let his abrupt
departure bother her. It wasn’t a small thing she was suggesting, after all. It
would change the course of both of their lives—the entire course of their
futures.

When he came back, his expression had changed, and she knew
he’d made his decision. She just wasn’t sure what the decision would be.

He reached over and took one of her hands in both of his
big, warm ones. It wasn’t exactly a display of affection, more to make a
serious point. He met her eyes and said hoarsely, “Jessica, promise me that
you’ll be happy in this sort of marriage. Promise me that being friends and
partners with me in a home and family is exactly what you want out of your life.
Because marriage for me is forever, no matter what the reasons for the
marriage. Of course, if you want out later on, I wouldn’t stop you, but I’d be
committed to this for the rest of my life. This shouldn’t be something either
of us does lightly.”

She gulped, her heart racing so wildly it hurt her ribs. For
some reason, she felt closer to him, in all of his earnest concern and
intensity, than she ever had before. “I’m not doing it lightly. I’d be
committed for the rest of my life too.”

“So promise me that this is what you really want. I couldn’t
stand for you to be unhappy later on when you realize you settled, you didn’t
get it all.”

“No one has it all. That’s not the way life works. We decide
what’s most important to us, and we pour ourselves into that.
This
is
what’s most important to me. I promise this is what I want.”

His lips parted slightly. A slight kink made a piece of his
dark hair stick out strangely just at his temple.

No particular reason why she would have noticed that.

“I really think it
is
what you want,” he breathed.

He believed her. She could see that he believed her. The
tension had relaxed in his shoulders, in his eyes.

“It is,” she said, trying to hold back a grin. She was so
excited that she was practically hugging herself. “So what do you say? Will you
marry me? You’re not going to make me go down on one knee, are you?”

He couldn’t quite hide an answering smile, and she knew that
he’d silently said “yes.”

***

The next day was Saturday, so they
went shopping for rings.

“It’s too expensive,” Jessica said, eyeing the diamond
solitaire in the case Daniel had just asked her about. This was the third
jewelry store they’d visited. Jessica kept gravitating toward the cases with
the cheaper rings, but Daniel refused to consider them.

“It’s an engagement ring. I’m not going to pull it out of a
cereal box.” Daniel was starting to look a little grumpy, since their shopping
expedition hadn’t been very successful so far, and they’d been looking now for
over two hours.

“Yeah, but it’s not like there’s a huge romantic gesture to
be made here.” The store was mostly empty, except a salesman who was discreetly
standing out of their way, since they’d told him they would let him know when
they needed help. But Jessica kept her voice low instinctively. “We shouldn’t
waste money on an expensive ring for me.”

He slanted her an annoyed look, which she dutifully ignored.

She scanned the case. All of the rings looked great to her.
She’d had as many romantic daydreams as any other girl about the love of her
life offering a ring like these. But that wasn’t what was happening here. It
wasn’t even what she wanted. She wanted exactly what she’d told Daniel, and she
wasn’t going to make up silly fantasies, even about him.

 “Why don’t you just buy one online?” she suggested. “You
can get a better deal that way anyway.”

“Would you stop that?” Daniel groaned. “I’m sorry, but I’m
not going to buy an engagement ring for you without at least holding it first.”

It really was very sweet—that he was taking this so seriously,
even though he’d never thought about her as anything but a friend. Her heart
melted, just a little, at the sight of his stubbly, aggravated face.

“I don’t even need an engagement ring,” she said.

He completely ignored that comment and kept peering at the
rings in the case.

“What about this one?” he asked, gesturing toward another
one in the expensive display.

She tried to tug him to another case—one with more
reasonably priced options. “I don’t need a real diamond. What about one of
these other stones? They basically look like diamonds, and they’re so much cheaper.”

He ignored her again. She could tell he was doing it on
purpose.

Annoyed, she stepped back over and gave him a hard poke in
the side. “I’m talking to you.”

“You’re not saying anything I’m going to take seriously. My
wife is going to have an engagement ring, and it’s not going to be a piece of
junk.”

She knew he’d been comfortable financially, since he’d saved
for years and didn’t splurge on anything except books. But preachers never made
fortunes, and he’d had to use some of his savings while he was between jobs.

“But—” She broke off when she noticed a ring in the corner
of the expensive case. It was white gold with a princess cut diamond in an
engraved setting. It was the most beautiful ring she’d ever seen.

She stared at it for a few seconds before she jerked her
eyes away. She pointed toward another ring that was obviously much cheaper. It
wasn’t nearly as beautiful, but that simply didn’t matter. “I like this one.”

“You are the most frustrating woman on the face of the
earth,” he gritted out.

“You just say that because I beat you at that math competition
in fifth grade, even though you were two years older.”

His face softened into a smile at the memory. “I’m still not
sure that competition wasn’t rigged.”

She tried—very hard—not to laugh. Didn’t exactly succeed.

“But seriously,” she went on, “this ring here is perfectly
nice.”

“Forget it. This is futile. I’ll get the ring myself, and
you’ll be stuck with whatever I pick out.”

“Fine. Whatever you get me will be great, as long as it’s
not too expensive.”

Daniel gave her a look as they left the store and a very
confused salesman. She giggled and took his arm companionably, since she knew
his grumpiness was mostly for show.

The few times she’d seen Daniel genuinely angry, he’d been
silent and ice cold. Just the thought of it gave her shivers.

Their normal camaraderie restored, they went to grab some
coffee before they headed back to Daniel’s truck.

She absolutely didn’t care about the engagement ring. She
was getting what she most wanted, and romance wasn’t high enough on the list to
matter.

***

“Yes, I’m really getting married,” she
said the next day on the phone. “To Daniel. Yes, it’s sudden. But you know
we’ve always been friends, and we just realized we wanted more than that.”

Her mother’s voice was thin and wispy. “You’re getting
married?”

“Yes. In six weeks. On December 7th. In Willow Park. You
know I always wanted to get married in our old church.”

“Who are you marrying?”

“Daniel,” Jessica said patiently. Daniel was sitting across
the room, working at her dining room table. They’d had dinner together so they
could make plans for the wedding. He glanced over at her but then looked back at
the email on his laptop.

When the only response was confused silence, Jessica said,
“He lived next door to us. Remember? He used to always stop by, hoping for some
of your cookies or caramel corn.”

“Who?”

“Daniel. He broke the window with a baseball when he was
twelve.”

“Oh, I know him. He’s a very naughty boy. I haven’t seen him
lately.”

“He’s all grown up now. I’m marrying him.”

“Who are you marrying?”

Jessica swallowed over an ache in her throat. Talking on the
phone was so hard for her mother, since there wasn’t any face-to-face context
to place the conversation. Plus, it was getting late in the day. Her mom was
always more disoriented in the evenings. “I’m marrying Daniel. He’s going to be
the pastor at First Church in Willow Park. They voted to call him as pastor
today. He starts in three weeks.”

“Daniel broke the window.”

“Yes, he broke the window, but that was a long time ago.”

After another minute, Jessica finally gave up and said
goodbye.

She put her phone down and went into the kitchen, mostly
just for something to do.

Bear followed her, so she leaned down to pet the dog, taking
comfort in her warm, soft body and absolute loyalty.

“You okay?”

She jerked at the voice from behind her. She hadn’t even
heard Daniel follow her into the kitchen.

“Yeah. It’s just…Mom.”

“I know.”

He looked understanding, sympathetic, and it meant something
to her. She really would have liked a hug, but they’d never been touchy that
way. There was no reason to expect it to change now.

“I just got a text from Martha. She said she’d love to do
the flowers.”

“Great,” Jessica said, feeling better at having something to
do, something to organize. “It’s nice that we’ve known these people for so
long, so they’re willing to work with us at the last minute. So we’ve got the
flowers, the caterer, and the photographer. Kim is driving in on Saturday—did I
tell you? She’s going to help me look for a dress.”

Kim had been her college roommate and had always been her
best friend, aside from Daniel. She lived in Asheville now.

“Good.”

She sighed. “Everyone is really excited.”

“Of course, they are.”

“Yeah.”

He took a step closer to her, nudging Bear out of the way.
“We’re not lying to them, Jessica. We’re getting married. It’s a real marriage.
Our motivations are irrelevant. People are allowed to be happy for us.”

“I know.”

“We’re not doing this at all if you’re going to feel guilty
about it.”

“I don’t feel guilty. I promise I don’t feel guilty.”

She didn’t feel guilty. She felt a little poignant that this
wasn’t happening the way she’d always dreamed. But then she reminded herself of
what she was getting—a home, a husband, a family, a life not always spent in
waiting.

Excitement bubbled up in her heart again.

He searched her face and seemed satisfied with whatever he
saw there.

Then he stuffed his hand into his pocket. “By the way,
here.”

She blinked as he extended his hand with a ring resting on
his palm.

It was the beautifully engraved, princess-cut diamond
solitaire she’d seen in the shop. The one she’d adored.

She gasped, everything in her heart reaching out for that
gorgeous ring, even as she held herself very still. She managed to say, “You
shouldn’t have—”

“Don’t even start.” He sounded grumpy again, and he grabbed
her left hand and pushed the ring on her finger before she could object.
“There. Now we’re officially engaged.”

She stared down at her hands. They were pale and thin with
neat, no-nonsense fingernails.