Mastering Multiple Position Sex (40 page)

Place your hands on his arms, locking your elbows against his forearms for support.

Begin your gentle thrusts. Share in the tempests that your weather vane forecasts!

Crescendo

His thrusting action might be enough to trigger an orgasm. Or, more likely, his arms and core muscles will exhaust, and he will need to switch positions.

Lower yourself to the floor and out of her.

Let him exit you as he returns to the floor.

Lie on the floor with your head on a pillow.

Once he is on the floor, mount him in a reverse cowgirl. You can rest your shins on the floor or squat over his penis. Use your hands to play with your clitoris; the exposed portions of your vulva; or his legs, balls, ass, or cock.

Once you are inside her, put your hands on her waist to guide her, on your chest to play with your own pecs, on her back, or anywhere on your body or hers that would benefit from extra stimulation.

Brava! Bravo!

If your sex life were truly musical, this chapter would garner you at least two Grammy Awards. The Standing 69 would earn you Best Vocal, and the other two would honor you with Best Performance by a New Group.

As you grow together as physical and sexual beings, try to bring more difficult sex positions into the bedroom. They can function as a litmus test of your fornicating fortitude, a bridge to even more amorous adventures, or as a testament to the high level of sexpertise you have attained. If any chapter deserves a cry of
Brava! Bravo!
this would be it.

Fine Tuning
Making Adjustments for Better Sex

No matter how splendid an orchestra might sound, there is always an opportunity for individuals and partners to hone their abilities and develop new ones. When it comes to sexual growth, some couples adhere to a containment philosophy, whereby they strengthen their list of existing skills without adding to the list, or they might adopt an expansionist creed, where they look to add new knowledge and skills while leaving the old ones as they are. I hope, over the course of your sex life—and with help from this book—you will take advantage of both approaches to augment your existing performance and enhance your catalog of positions. The preceding chapters are geared more toward expanding your comfort zone and sexual repertoire. The tips that follow are meant to help you fortify your status quo.

You and your partner can grow as individuals or as a pair, relying on books and other resources to guide you, and there may come a time when you decide to talk to a qualified sex educator, counselor, or therapist. As you read the information and suggestions contained in this section, please appreciate the general—and the sexual—health benefits of making these life changes. We are born as sexual beings, so it follows that we should strive to cultivate and to celebrate our sexuality.

Before you and your partner get in tune with each other, make sure that your instruments are tuned. That means paying attention to your health and fitness, which provides the energy and stamina you need for optimizing sexual performance and pleasure. And talk with your medical providers, mental health counselors, religious leaders, family, friends, and your partner before following any sexual advice, so that you have a clear picture of its limits and benefits.

Make Room for Your Partner by Kicking Stress out of the Bed!

Because your body’s chemical and emotional responses to stress are anaphrodisiacs—they hamper humping—we need to learn to manage our stress levels. One reason I treat a throng of Wall Street clients is because when stocks drop, cocks drop. I spend as much time discussing ways to reduce their stress as I do talking about ways to strengthen their endowments.

If you recall the B in BEST SEX, it reminds us to breathe—deep, diaphragmatic breathing, where our belly buttons pull away from our spines like a slow balloon and then drift back toward our spines like a feather. To turn this into a sexual fitness breath, sit in a relaxed position and inhale through your nose as you think, “I am a happy, healthy, sexual being.” As you exhale through your mouth, think, “I use every waking moment to honor my sexuality.” You could also visualize yourself having the best sex of your life, and create a mantra to go with that set of images. Below is a version of my daily affirmations that I use as part of my breathing exercises (and my thanks to Deepak Chopra for two that I amended from his intentions). It relaxes me before work and before sleep, and it has made me better in my relationships—including the cherished one I have with myself.

Daily Affirmations

1
. I love myself as a sexual being and as a citizen of this global community.

2
. I express my love with abandon.

3
. I build my body, mold my mind, and support my spirit through exercise, nutrition, clean water, education, meditation, family, friends, and laughter.

4
. I sleep in peace eight hours each day and awaken on time without an alarm.

5
. I laugh and smile so much that others must laugh and smile as well.

6
. I enhance the lives of my family, friends, students, clients, and peers.

7
. I (your work/job) using the best that I have to offer.

8
. I free myself from the bad and good opinions of others.

9
. I exist beneath no one and above no one.

10
. I invite many kinds of wealth into my life.

11
. I face all fears with fearlessness.

12
. I am the best (your name) I can be.

In addition to breathing, stress can be relieved with the help of massage, meditation, journaling, self-hypnosis, nutrition, sunlight, socializing, sleep, and exercise. I’ve already touched on some of these in previous chapters; others I discuss in the paragraphs to come, and they are all topics that a sex counselor or therapist can discuss with you.

Finally, let’s get back to sex, because sexual pleasure has been shown to ease stress. So the next time your lover asks you to come back to bed, don’t say you are too stressed; if that’s true, you need it precisely for the stress relief!