Authors: Nancy Straight
“
Chicken and French fries would be great, but at this point I’ll take anything with grease.” He rolled his eyes at me. Seth had never approved of my eating habits but made no effort to try to dissuade me this time.
“
Your mom should be back anytime. I’ll go get you something as soon as she gets here.” Seth saw the disappointment on my face and smiled knowingly, “Okay I’ll go now. You’re right, I’ll probably beat her back here.” He delayed for a second as if he were arguing with himself.
“
Seth, really, I’m okay. It’s okay to leave me. I’m just
really
hungry.” He nodded and started to turn around to leave, then stopped and stepped back toward me. He leaned down to kiss my forehead and whispered in my ear, “I’ll be right back, I miss you already.” He hesitated for just a second then walked out.
I sat in silence for a minute. I was tired but not enough to nap again. I saw a television mounted on the wall and looked for a remote. There had to be one around here somewhere. I began to rifle through the drawer of the table the nurse had wheeled in front of me. The drawer’s contents included several old magazines, some hospital stationary, a couple pens, but no remote. I saw the table beside my bed and tried to angle my hand around the bed rail to open the drawer when a voice startled me.
“
Is this where the town’s biggest hero is staying? I have to say I expected a little better accommodations for someone who single handedly foiled the town’s first armed robber in years. You threw yourself in front of a speeding bullet and everything. I expected you’d be in the penthouse suite.” The happy voice came booming in; I could hardly contain my excitement when I realized it was Max.
The events in the ambulance came flooding in. I was so thrilled to see him, I felt giddy. I nearly shrieked, “You remembered!” but regained my composure just before I could make a complete idiot out of myself. Up until Max walked through the door, my pulse had been a steady 60 beats per minute. It hadn’t even budged when Seth kissed me so passionately.
As soon as I realized it was Max coming through the door, my pulse began to increase steadily, and I knew at this point if I couldn’t get it under control someone was going to rush in with a syringe, and I might never be able to talk to him. I consciously willed my pulse to stay slow, it was at 95 but it hadn’t increased quickly enough to sound the monitor’s alarm.
Even with a concerted effort to try to contain my thrill at seeing him, I nearly squealed, “Hi Max, I’m glad you came. I was worried you might not.” Did that sound too needy? Play it cool Lauren. Don’t scare him off.
His jovial mood was evident in every movement as he stepped through the door. He teased, “Lauren, are you kidding me? How could I not come? I stopped by earlier but Doc Gracie had just knocked you out. How’ya feelin?” His smile warmed the room, and I hardly paid attention to what he was saying. I stole a glance at the monitor again; it displayed 101 as I took a slow deep breath, willing it to slow down.
“
Fine, I’m glad you came.”
“
Looks like you have a bunch of admirers from all the flowers. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many in one room.” At least he was better at small talk than I was. My mind raced and anxiety crept forward with the realization that if we ran out of things to talk about he might leave.
He had been about six feet away from me. I smiled as I looked at the flowers lining my entire room. After a few seconds my gaze left the flowers and went to his face. “Max, could you come a little closer?” I tried to motion for him to come closer but was quickly reminded that the tubes wouldn’t allow me much movement. He could see my frustration and moved right beside my bed.
He rested his hand lightly on the bed rail near my hand. I felt strange, a little nervous. Should I take his hand? What if he pulls it away? I ever-so-slightly inched my fingers closer to his, so close that only the width of a credit card separated us.
Unsure what to say, I was only able to utter, “Hi.”
Max leaned toward me a quarter inch and his knuckles brushed against mine. With a sheepish smile and in barely more than a whisper, he responded, “Hi.”
For such a simple exchange, I was profoundly affected. If anyone walked in right then they would have looked away in embarrassment and tried to give us some privacy. I didn’t have any idea what to say to him, but at the same time had so much I needed for him to know. I looked at him, maybe into him.
The profound connection I felt for him couldn’t possibly be one-sided. Without any more hesitation, I took his hand in mine; a look of shock was visible on his face at the same time I felt an electric current shoot through me - not painful, but powerful.
My heart rate spiked to 120 which was enough that the monitor came to life. Max loosened his hold on my hand and turned his attention to the monitor. The nurse came into the room quickly and all but pushed Max out of the way. Max’s tone was apologetic, “I’d better get out’a here.”
Rapid fear shot through me, “No, stay.” I blasted a little too authoritatively and definitely too loud. I told myself to calm down and added, “Nurse really, it’s nothing. I don’t want another shot; I was just happy to see Max.” Willing my heart to slow down, it cooperated a bit as it slowed to 118, then a few seconds later to 116. “Please, I really want to see him for a few minutes.”
Felicia shot a disapproving look, “Max, if it hits 125 you had better be prepared to explain to Doctor Gracie.” She turned to me and the harshness of her tone had evaporated, “All right dear, but just a few minutes, you haven’t been out of surgery very long, and we need to keep you as stable as possible.”
Max looked at the nurse, “Thanks, Felicia.” It hadn’t occurred to me, but Max probably knew the entire hospital staff. “I won’t stay long.”
I still had no idea what to say to Max but was sure that if I didn’t say something soon he would leave, and I might never see him again. The miserable thought kicked my brain into high gear. “Max, I’m sorry about my heart not cooperating. You obviously have a strange effect on me.” That was an understatement!
I knew I wanted to really talk to him, but the awkwardness of being in a hospital nearly tongue-tied me. “I wanted to thank you for everything…” I trailed off, unable to articulate anything more. His eyes were a mere few feet away and were truly breathtaking. The light green was like nothing I’d ever seen before, at least not outside my dreams, and the brown specs were so predominant, they were in one word – amazing. Realizing that I was staring, I quickly broke contact.
“
It’s my job, Lauren. I’m glad we were the ones on the scene.” He was just as nervous as I was. I could hear it in his voice. Why was he so nervous? Max wasn’t the one with crazy dreams about destiny, and his heart hadn’t stopped when he met me. I must be imagining it, projecting my emotions onto him to better justify them to myself. But he really did sound nervous.
My heart rate began to climb again, it hit 122 as I again clutched his hand, the same electric pulse raced through me, and I had to take a deep breath to steady myself. I was thankful that I was lying down, confident that if I had been standing I would have lost my balance. “I can’t explain it, but I know I’m not going to be able to keep my heart from racing again,” dare I say any more? like, “
I need to see you when I’m not hooked up to all these monitors.”
A little nervous and fearing rejection, I asked, “I’m a little spent. I’m really glad you came to see me and I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind meeting me outside of the hospital? Nothing major, I just have weird memories from last night and wanted to talk to you about them.” There, I said it and I didn’t sound like a freak, just someone who had gone through a traumatic experience looking for some answers.
There was a notable pause, he stumbled on his answer, “Lauren, I really….I’m not sure if….Maybe it would be better….” He trailed off and I was sure he was trying to find a nice way of saying no thanks. His tone was dismissive, but my stare never wavered.
Not wanting to let him off the hook, I asked with a little more urgency, “Max, please it’s very important to me.” My eyes were pleading and my hand held his tighter. “The doctor says I’ll be out in a couple days, and I really want to see you, even if only for a couple minutes.”
His expression gave him away and I felt like he was, what? Happy, maybe, to be put on the spot? “Lauren, I’d like to see you again. It’s just that I came here earlier and I thought, well I was under the impression….Never mind… Yes, yes, I’ll call you.” I wasn’t convinced with his hesitation that he really wanted to see me again. Not wanting to take a chance, I added, “Would you mind putting your phone number on the back of this card. I’d hate to have to take another bullet to try to find you again.” I pulled the note card from the closest flower arrangement, trying to hand it to him.
He smiled more broadly than before and reached into his pocket and took out a business card, “Here, this has all my numbers.” He had an odd expression, which I couldn’t place. I was worried he was going to bolt out of the room when he remarked, “I talked to Doctor Gracie this morning after he had to stabilize your heart. He said he was planning to run some more tests in the next couple days. Did he say when he thought he’d release you?”
He tucked the card behind the card from Melissa on the holder in the flower arrangement. I was thankful that he did because it was where I could easily reach it, yet it was hidden enough that I wouldn’t have to explain to anyone, specifically Seth, why I had it.
“
He just told me that if things keep going well, maybe two more days.”
“
I’m glad you’re going to call me, but do you mind if I stop back while you’re here? I’m normally at Saint Joe’s at least once a night and could pop in and see if you need anything?”
I managed to get out, “I’d like that.”
“
I’d better go. I am really glad you’re okay. You’ve got all my numbers. Call me anytime… day or night…even if…well, call me whenever you want.” He squeezed my hand one final time and shot me another huge smile, then turned and walked away. He paused at the doorway just for a moment and turned back to look at me. “Lauren…I’m glad you’re doing so well. I’m sure this isn’t the most appropriate time to ask, but when you feel up to it, and want to get together, maybe we could go out for dinner or something?”
I managed to smile but could think of nothing clever to say. “I’d like that.”
“
Great! I mean…I’m really glad that you…never mind,” his face looked squarely at the floor. “I’ll stop by tonight if I have a run to the hospital. I need to get home and catch some zees.” He was blushing as he stepped out the door.
I looked at the monitor and it was at 123 and slowly descending to normal. The next several hours were a flurry of doctors, nurses, and visitors. By the time visiting hours were over, I was completely exhausted and yearning for sleep.
I asked Mom and Seth to head home. “You both look worn out. I’m just going to be sleeping anyway, so why don’t you two go home and get some rest and come back tomorrow. I’ll be fine, I really just want to sleep. If I need anything, the nurses are just a few feet away.”
Reluctantly and after a great deal of prodding, they both decided they would go home for a few hours but promised to be back before breakfast. The nurses came back through at least once an hour, charting my vitals, refilling my water pitcher, checking all the gauges. My body was stiff from lying still for so long, so I asked the nurse if I could get out of bed for a little bit.
“
Sorry, Lauren, no activity for twenty-four hours. Your leg was all but shattered, and the swelling needs to go down from the surgery. We have to keep your leg immobile and raised above your heart to keep the swelling down or you will never get out of here. Putting any pressure on it right now is not a good idea. Just sit tight and you’ll be mobile again soon.” She dimmed the lights in my room and walked toward the door, “I won’t be back until midnight to check on you again unless you call me. Do you need anything before I go?” I assured her I was fine, so she stepped out to check on her other patients.
Once I was alone in my room, I looked at the flower arrangement with Max’s card sticking out - begging me to pick it up.
I stared at the phone. This was the first time I had been alone all day. What was Max doing? It wouldn’t be too desperate to just call and say hi, would it? I reached for his card and he hadn’t been kidding; the card had his home number, work number, and cell. If I got him on the phone, what would I say? Let’s see, probably stay away from the whole, “I saw you in a dream” topic, try not to mention that every time he’s near me my heart starts pumping in overdrive. I should avoid talking about Seth.