Memoirs of a Muppets Writer: (You mean somebody actually writes that stuff?)
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Authors: Mr. Joseph A. Bailey
© 2012 by Joseph A. Bailey
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review.
“Sesame Workshop”®, “Sesame Street”® and associated characters, trademarks, and design elements are owned and licensed by Sesame Workshop. © 2011 Sesame Workshop All Rights Reserved.
Published in New York, New York, by Walnut Press.
eBook ISBN:978-1-62112-245-6
Table of Contents
Chapter 2 First, A Little Background
Chapter 5 Let me tell you how I got … how I got to Sesame Street
Chapter 7 Writing Sesame Street
Chapter 10 How do they do that? The genius of Jim Henson
Chapter 12 Two Very Short Sesame Street Legends
Chapter 17 On the Road with the Street
Chapter 19 A Favorite Grover Piece
Chapter 20 Starting The Muppet Show
Chapter 21 The Queen Elizabeth II
Chapter 26 Writing The Muppet Show
Chapter 28 Writing Assignment: Gonzo’s Song
Chapter 37 Rendezvous in Paris
Chapter 43 Christmas Eve on Sesame Street
Chapter 44 Sesame Street Live!
Chapter 46 Big Bird in Ireland
Chapter 47 To be or … whatever
Chapter 50 The Day the Music Died
Chapter 52 Everything I learned about writing in 50 years … the hard way
Dedicated to my beautiful wife, Gail Frank Bailey,
the first producer to believe I could write anything more
complicated than a beer commercial.
With special thanks
to my
dear friends
Gary Apple, Steve Gilford and Jack Heiszer
for their help and encouragement
Published in New York, New York, by Walnut Press.
Cover and book designed by Angélica Yunuhén Sánchez
www.angelicayunuhen.com
Acknowledgments
E
ssentially, what you are about to read are my own personal “war stories” from 20 years of writing for the Muppets. So, these stories are about the people who were closest to me. However, there are many other
Sesame Street
, Muppet and production people, not mentioned in this book, who contributed mightily to whatever success my Muppet writing might have achieved. It’s only right to acknowledge them here.
The Henson Family:
Cheryl; Heather; Lisa; Brian; John and Mrs. Jane Henson.
The
Sesame Street
Cast:
There’s an old acting adage that goes:
Never work with children or animals.
These very talented artists not only worked with hundreds of children but also frogs, bears, pigs, penguins, assorted fruits and vegetables, and many other beings of undetermined origin. The cast members during my years on
Sesame Street
were: Linda Bove (Linda); Northern Calloway (David); Emilio Delgado (Luis); Will Lee (Mr. Hooper); Loretta Long (Susan); Sonia Manzano (Maria); Bob McGrath (Bob); Roscoe Orman (Gordon); and Alaina Reed (Olivia).
Sesame Street Writers:
Judy Freuberg; Tony Geiss; Emily Pearl Kingsley; David Korr; Ray Sipherd; and Norman Stiles.
Additional Puppeteers:
Cheryl Blalock; Fran Brill; Louise Gold; Brian Muehl; Martin Robinson; and Caroly Wilcox.
Additional Puppet Designers and Builders:
Cheryl Blalock; Bonnie Erickson; “Faz” Fazakas; Michael K. Frith; Larry Jameson; Mari Kaestle; Rollin Krewson; John Lovelady; Amy Van Gilder and Caroly Wilcox.
Production Staffers:
Ozzie Alfonso; Martin Baker; Dr. Lewis Bernstein; Chris Cerf; Dave Conner; Victor DiNapoli; Blake Norton; Bob Emerick; Danny Epstein; Sharon Goode; Richard Holloway; Cher Jung; Lynn Klugman; Dick Maitland; Nat Mongioi; Thelma Moses; Bob Myhrum; Blake Norton; Mercedes Polanco; Tish Rabe; Arlene Sherman; Lisa Simon; and Emily Squires.
My sincere apologies to anyone I’ve omitted - It’s been a while.
I
t was February 1977 and I was soaking up the sun on the idyllic Caribbean island of Antigua. I was also out of work.
During the fall of 1976, I was half way through my fourth season on the
Sesame Street
writing staff. After a hundred or so scripts, I felt I needed a break from the show. So, one day over lunch during the writers’ hiatus, I told Jon Stone,
Sesame Street’s
Executive Producer, that I would be leaving the show after the second half of the writing season.
Jon, understandably, was not happy about it. But, he understood and wished me luck. Shortly afterwards, it suddenly occurred to me that for the first time in four years, I had to find a job. I was “on the beach” now in more ways than one.
After four seasons together with Jim Henson on
Sesame Street
, I felt I knew him pretty well. So, I wrote him the following letter:
October 12,
1976
Dear Jim
Henson
(wherever you are):Since
I
picture you these days as a body constantly in motion
, I’ve
decided to put typewriter
to
paper rather than attempt a phone call.At the end of January
1977, my
current contract with CTW will expire, and I’ve decided to leave Sesame Street at that time. After four seasons with the show, I feel I’ve explored all
my
possibilities of presenting the alphabet in new and different ways. So, after my present batch of scripts is finished, I’ll be free to go on to other projects.Sometime in the future, when you’ve had a chance to catch your breath, I have several ideas I’d like to discuss with you. A Muppet Christmas Special and a feature length Muppet film are among them.
By
the way, I told Jon Stone about my decision about a month ago,
so now
I consider myself a free agent, open and aboveboard.Please give me a call when
you
have a chance.Regards,
Sometime in early January 1977, I received a call from Jim’s secretary setting up a meeting for the following week. At the appointed time, I went down to the converted carriage house on East 67th Street that was then Muppet Headquarters.
Jim and I had a lovely, amicable, half-hour chat about my leaving
Sesame Street
after four seasons, and The Muppet
Show,
which had started airing the past September and was more successful than either of us could have imagined. Jim then suggested I might want to write some audition pieces for the show. I said I would and left.
For the next two weeks I slaved over a
Muppet Show
script. These were the days before VCRs, but I had made audio cassettes of several episodes of the show. So, I was able to break it down on paper for structure and balance and get a flavor of some of the characters, who, with the exception of Kermit, were completely different from the
Sesame Street
cast and, therefore, new to me.
With the exception of the guest star material, on January 19, 1977, I messengered a complete
Muppet Show
script, to Jim on 67th Street. It had 24 separate scenes, which was about right. The regular Muppet Show had about 27 pieces, including introductions, quick sight gags, musical numbers, and a four-scene backstage story line. The guest star usually got two production numbers and a one-on-one interview with Kermit.
My script had a backstage story line built around the cast going on strike and refusing to do the show unless Kermit paid them. Kermit, as usual, was broke. Eventually Scooter’s uncle, the unseen tyrant who owned the
Muppet Show
theater, agreed to make the payroll if the show produced his favorite form of entertainment. The uncle’s favorite entertainment turned out to be lady wrestling.
Because Kermit was unable to find a second lady wrestler in time, the show ended with a wrestling match between Piggy, wrestling as The
Princess
, and Kermit, in drag, as the
Masked Crusader
. The piece ends with Piggy throwing Kermit out of the ring and into the box with Statler and Waldorf, the two elderly hecklers.
When Statler suggests,
I think you’d better give it
up,
Frog!,
Kermit replies with the oldest (and corniest) vaudeville joke:
What? And leave show business?
Now that the script was finished and in Jim’s hands, there was nothing to do but to wait for his reaction. I paced the floor for about two weeks before I finally called Jim’s secretary and asked, “Well? Did he laugh?”
She called back later to make an appointment for me to see Jim.
In his low key way, Jim told me he liked my material and we discussed the show for a while. When the conversation came to a close, he said to me, “Well, what are you going to do now?”
I told him that my wife and I were leaving soon for a two-week vacation on the Caribbean Island of Antigua. He said he hoped we’d have a good time and the meeting ended with no further discussion.
So, my wife, Gail, and I went to Antigua to spend two weeks lying in the sun. When the two weeks were up, we were having such a good time we decided to stay a few more days. At the time, Gail was a free-lance producer/director with no current commitments. And I, of course, was jobless. So there was really no reason for us to go back to frigid New York. Because of reservation limitations, we were forced to change hotels, not an undue hardship, to spend another few winter days in the Caribbean sun.
After several days at the new hotel, we returned from the beach on a late Sunday afternoon. The desk clerk handed me a telephone message. That was very unusual. No one ever called us on vacation. In fact, beside the weather, one of the reasons we liked vacationing on small Caribbean islands was how difficult it was to reach us. So, for a moment, I was afraid of a family crisis.
Instead, the message read, “Call Jim Henson immediately.” Somehow, Jim had tracked me down in the middle of the Caribbean, even though I had changed hotels. I got on the phone to the Muppet offices and soon had Jim on the other end.
“Where are you?”, he asked. “We’re having a writers’ meeting for the opening show of the new season. Why aren’t you here?”
“Well, Jim, you see, nobody hired me.”
“Oh. (Pause) Well, how soon can you get here?”
This was my first indication that behind the scenes, The Muppet Show was very much like, well, behind the scenes of The Muppet Show, only with people.
I told Jim I’d call him right back. I hung up the phone and called the airport.
“I’ve got to get to New York immediately. What have you got going to New York tonight?”