Merrick (14 page)

When I finally
returned to the bedroom, Merrick was nowhere to be seen. And so, once again, I
took up a lantern and headed into the depths of the cave.

I had been right
about the door. I stepped over the heap of splintered wood, wondering vaguely
what Merrick had thought when he’d found the padlock hanging loosely from the
latch that day.

Remembering my
first visit to the cave, I shivered. But I supposed I’d have to get used to the
dark if I was to become a vampire.

I’d made my peace
with it for the moment. After the door had closed behind Theo, I had poured
myself a cup of tea and sat there at the table going over all that had
transpired.

Perhaps it was
reasonable, what Merrick said. He
had
lived for centuries. And truly, I
wasn’t eager to become a vampire. I quite liked the sunlight, after all, and I
had always hoped to avoid killing anyone.

But it wouldn’t be
all that bad, would it? Merrick walked in the daylight, as long as he kept his
skin covered. And he’d mentioned drinking the blood of animals. I could surely
stomach that! Besides, to live for centuries – that was a thrilling thought. I
had always wanted a life full of experiences, hadn’t I?

The one thing I
worried about was my poor mother. What would she think? Of course, I could see
her at night and indoors, but I was sure she would know something was amiss.
Well, I simply wouldn’t tell her. I hoped she would forgive me for that.

The passage opened
to the cavern. I turned around with my lantern, finding no one. Had Merrick
sneaked out through one of the passages? I sighed softly. My eyes went to the
coffin.

What was the
meaning of that thing, anyway? I approached, wondering. Surely it had some
purpose rather than scaring me witless.

I caught sight of
the writing desk out of the corner of my eye, and saw that the letters had
disappeared. Of course, it had been nearly three weeks now since I’d stuck my
nose in them, so it made sense that they might naturally had been moved
elsewhere; but, I couldn’t help cringing a little imagining how my intrusion
might have displeased Merrick.

And what about
now? Had I displeased him? Was he as angry with me as he had seemed with Theo?
I was gloomy at the thought.

Idly, I reached
down and lifted the lid of the coffin.

There was someone
inside!

Terror gripped me
and I nearly slammed the lid shut before I realized that it was Merrick
himself.

He was resting on
his back, his hands folded on his stomach, his eyes closed and his face
relaxed.

I blinked down at
him, bewildered. What was this about?

“Opening coffins,
William?”

“Jesus,” I
blurted, and very nearly dropped the lid this time. I caught it just in time
and held it open, my heart pounding. I swore. “Just took a year off my life,” I
muttered beneath my breath, putting a hand to my chest.

Merrick opened his
eyes and fixed me with an even look.

Poor choice of
words. I cleared my throat awkwardly, then pushed the lid up completely so that
it stayed open.

“I’m beginning to
think your curiosity is a serious affliction,” he said in a low, hollow tone.

“Oh, sir,” I
groaned softly, “Please don’t be angry with me. I could not bear it.”

He didn’t reply.

I tried to keep my
battered heart afloat by changing the subject. “Why are you in a coffin? Do you
sleep here?”

“Something like
that,” he said in the same flat, unaffected voice. “It is a quiet place to
think.”

He looked even
more tired than he had just an hour ago. In fact, he almost seemed to have
aged. His cheeks and eyes were beginning to look slightly hollow. “Sir,” I said
hesitantly.

“You don’t need to
call me that.”

“What shall I call
you?”

“Whatever you
like.”

Oh, he was so very
unhappy with me. It felt like a needle in my chest. “Why don’t you go out to
eat?” I paused. “Or do you say drink?”

“I will go
shortly.” His lips thinned for a moment. “After all, I can hardly afford to let
myself waste away now that Theo stands ready to kill you straight. A fine,
simple plan, I must say. He might not have come up with it on his own.”

I sank to a crouch
beside the coffin with a soft, despairing groan, gripping the edge. “What would
you have me do?” I begged. “I couldn’t bear the thought of your destruction.
Would you hold that against me?”

“I cannot
understand why you would sacrifice so much for a man you’ve just met.”

“We’ve just met,
have we?” I murmured. “Well, then. I suppose this thing between us is flimsy,
indeed.”

He kept his gaze
on mine, and smiled faintly at my sarcasm. It did not reach his eyes.

“I thought my love
was a comfort to you, sir,” I whispered, forgetting not to call him that.
Slowly, I reached into the coffin and brushed a shining lock of hair from his
smooth brow.

When he did not
respond, I dropped my head with a sigh. My hand stayed at his neck, toying with
a tendril of his hair. And then, impulsively, I climbed into the coffin and lay
on top of him.

He shifted,
startled, and put his hands to my waist. “William.”

In a true act of
boldness, I pulled the lid shut. Then, catching his chin with my hand, I pressed
my lips to his.

He softened
beneath me for a moment, even moving his lips against mine, before he put his
hands on my cheeks and pulled me back. “What are you doing?” he whispered.

I blinked in the
perfect darkness. “Suppose I might need a quiet place to think, myself, sir.” I
caught myself again. “Merrick.” I licked my lips, searching for his taste, and
felt his cool breath upon them.

His hands moved
down to my hips, squeezing gently. “It isn’t over, William.”

“What do you mean
by that?” I shifted for a more comfortable position. There was enough room for
me to settle my knees on either side of his legs.

One of his hands
moved up beneath my shirt to stroke my spine. The other moved further around my
hip and took a slow squeeze. “I will not turn you as easily as that. I will
savor every moment of your mortal life. I will not rush to turn you just
because of this ridiculous scheme.”

“If you say so,” I
whispered, and felt my lips graze his. In the dark, it was hard to tell how
close our faces were…but it was impossible to ignore how tightly our bodies fit
together at the hip. My cheeks grew warm.

He kissed me
again, softly, and then brushed his lips over my cheek. “Are you blushing?”

“Might be, sir.”
Sir
,
again! That would be a hard habit to break, it seemed. And it wasn’t the only
one. It seemed my body knew only one way to react when it met with his. In this
position, there was no hiding it.

Nor was there
reason to, it seemed. Merrick groaned softly beneath his breath and caught my
lips for another kiss, and this time his mouth was insistent.

I melted against
him as his hands roamed my body, squeezing and grasping. They worked themselves
under my breeches and grabbed my buttocks, squeezing and kneading and grinding
me against him as he rocked beneath me. I gasped against his mouth, and moaned
when he plunged his tongue into mine and gave another slow, torturous roll of
his hips that sent a shudder of need through my entire body.

The coffin – the
coffin! – had grown quite hot without my noticing, and I shivered at the rush
of cool, fresh air that hit when Merrick reached up and threw the lid back. He
sat up, pushing me upright with my thighs around his hips, all the while
devouring me with his hungry kiss. I moved against him, wanting things I still
didn’t know how to put into words.

“Did you think of
me, William?” he breathed, and grazed my bottom lip with his teeth before
sucking it gently. His hand was moving down to the front of my breeches.

“I’ve not stopped
since the day I saw you,” I managed to reply, before my head fell back with a
wanton sound I hardly recognized. His fingers teased me cleverly, dancing along
the length and lingering in places that made me shiver and moan. My hips moved
shamelessly for more of his touch.

He twined his
fingers in my hair, moving his hips up against me as his other hand stroked me
up and down. “You will be bound to me again,” he breathed into my ear. His
hands tightened in both places.

I cried out
roughly, digging my fingers into his shoulders and grinding down on the stiff
bulge in his lap. The feel of it was shocking, obscene, and torturously good.
When I heard a quiet growl of pleasure escape his lips, I slammed my mouth to
his in a bruising kiss.

He broke free,
gasping, and held me at bay by his handful of my hair. His lips were dark with
blood – I had carelessly cut myself upon his teeth.

“Do it again.” I
felt the same sharp hunger I had felt that night, only now I knew what dark and
delirious pleasure his bite would bring.

“You are mad,” he
breathed, but the words were taut with desire. And when I grabbed his hair and
pulled his face to my throat, he groaned and raked his fingers down my back.
“God, William…” His fangs scraped my throat.

I flew skywards.
Everything disappeared but the man who held my body in his hands, whose bite
pierced my very soul and flooded my system with a sensation too vast and
overpowering for words.

I fell limply
against him, moaning as the last tremors left my body. Consciousness returned
more easily than before, and I guessed he had not drunk as much this time.

I lifted my head
to look at his face, and he opened his eyes. To my relief, they had recovered
some of their brilliance. “Such beautiful eyes you have, s…”

His lips twitched
with amusement. “You may call me that, if you’re so attached to it,” he teased
gently.

My heart swelled.
There was the voice I had missed, the gentle tone and the calm, pleased gaze. I
laid my hand upon his cheek, looking down into his lovely eyes and soaking up
the sight of it.

How terrible it
had been to lose him. How horrified I’d been tonight at the thought of his
destruction. How it pained me to see him tired and miserable, to hear of his
suffering!

A little crease
appeared between his brows. “What’s the matter, William?”

“I want to be at
your side,” I whispered. “I do not want you to suffer. Don’t drive me away
again. I beg you. It will ruin me.”

His soft frown did
not vanish. He smoothed my hair, searching my face. “I never meant to hurt
you.”

“I have never felt
such pain in my heart.” It was true. Perhaps it meant I had led a charmed life,
but never had I experienced such suffering in my soul as the weeks I had longed
for Merrick and wondered why he had cast me aside.

“I am sorry.” His
golden eyes were soft and sad.

Did he believe me?
Did he know the depth of my passion, my love for him?

“I will not drive
you away,” Merrick murmured. “I will savor every moment with you.” He tightened
his arms around me, pulling my head to his shoulder and kissing my neck where
his bite still tingled faintly. “Every moment,” he whispered. “And I will live
to make each moment happier than the last.”

I nodded, holding
him tightly.

At last I loosened
my arms from his shoulders and lifted my head. “You must eat.”

“Drink,” he
corrected at last. He helped me out of the coffin and climbed out after me,
picking up the lantern where I’d left it on the ground.

“Does it simply
taste like blood?”

He laid a gentle
hand on my back and guided me back to the passage that led to the cottage.
“Yes,” he murmured at length. Then, abruptly, he changed the subject. “I sent
word to your mother.”

“What did you tell
her?”

“I told her you
returned on a whim.”

We reached the
splintered door. I gave a low whistle as I stepped over it. “A battle was fought
and won here, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, well,” he
said wryly. “I could not pick the lock.”

I ducked my chin
sheepishly, but smiled a bit when he gently tousled my hair.

“You will be all
right here, William?” he asked once we’d reached the main room.

“Certainly,” I
replied, smiling again. “I’ll just take a bath, and get back to my studies.”

Merrick pulled me
to him for another soft kiss. “Sleep well,” he whispered.

“Goodnight,” I
replied, and watched him disappear.

It was another
cool, rainy night. Summer was ending. I was reading in the corner chair by
lamplight when the front door flew open. I jumped, turning to look, and then
grinned so wide it nearly hurt.

Theo stood at the
threshold, soaked to the bone. His auburn hair hung dripping in his eyes, and
his fine clothes hung sopping from his slender limbs. “Get me something dry,”
he barked, and lightning flashed behind him. He slammed the door and wrestled
off his jacket. “
Merde!
”

Laughing under my
breath, I went for the bedroom. He looked like a wet cat. I fetched a shirt and
breeches from the wardrobe and brought them back to him. He was shirtless now,
leaning against the door and struggling to remove his boots. “Help me with
these.”

“You might say
please.”

“
S’il vous
plait,
” he drawled gratingly. He was more muscular than he seemed with
clothes on, though he was even slightly more slender and boyish than I was.
Some women went crazy for a man like that, as I myself had happily learned.

“Take them off
yourself,” I retorted pleasantly.

He rolled his
eyes, but relented. “
Please
.”

I knelt before
him, smirking, and helped him pull off the boots.

“I see you’re
still warm and tender,” he said, stripping off his pants.

I politely averted
my eyes, going back to the chair. “So far.”

“Good for you,” he
said.

The door opened
behind him before he had put on his breeches, and he turned to face the hooded
figure that appeared there.

“Shit,” Theo
complained. “Could you look more terrifying?”

Merrick closed the
door and pushed back his hood, looking coolly down at Theo. “Could you be less
clothed?”

“I was all wet.
You don’t want me to catch pneumonia.”

I looked between
them. It had been two weeks since Theo had promised to disappear, and I
wondered if Merrick had forgiven him

Things had been wonderful
since then. We fell back into our old routines: my breakfast and morning walks,
both of us reading in the evening, him explaining herbs and blends to me. But
now there was so much more. Now he kissed me freely, spontaneously, throughout
each day. Now his easy smile came often, and sometimes I made him laugh. And
now, I rarely went to bed alone.

It was ecstasy
each time he touched me, whether he bit me or not. He confessed that it
frightened him somewhat, that he didn’t want to test his will so often; after
that, he simply used his hands and lips to send me soaring.

I still hadn’t
touched him. He stopped me every time, always murmuring that he did not trust
himself. Sometimes when I lay wilted and gasping in his arms, I felt the
evidence of his unsatisfied need throbbing against me. He tried to hide it,
telling me he was entirely fulfilled, and in all honesty, I was too shy yet to
press the matter. But I longed to do to him what he did to me, to see his
features go soft and unsteady with pleasure
I
had given him…

Merrick looked at
me, and I snapped out of my reverie. I’d been gazing at him and daydreaming
again, and had completely failed to hear their quiet exchange. Theo was pulling
on his breeches now, a sullen look on his face, and in the next moment he
stalked into the bedroom.

“Come,” Merrick
said. “Bathe with me.”

I tried not to
jump up too quickly, for that, too, was something he seemed to have avoided
since I’d come back, and I thrilled at the thought of sharing that warm and
pleasant space with him again – and without our clothes.

He held his robe
around me as we moved quickly to the lean-to, and then he shed the thing and
hung it on its hook.

I removed my own
clothes slowly, watching him strip off his shirt to reveal the toned muscles
beneath. My pulse quickened when he reached for the front of his breeches, and
I turned to remove my own as though I didn’t hunger for the sight of his body.
After all, I had only seen it completely bare once before, right here in the
lean-to…

“Are you angry with
Theo?” I asked casually.

The water splashed
softly. I laid my breeches over the stool and turned to find him pouring water
over his back. My eyes followed the rivulets as they ran down his elegant spine
and over the curves of his muscular buttocks. I swallowed.

“Let’s not speak
of it,” he replied calmly.

It troubled me to
think that he would bear a grudge against his friend for preventing his
suicide. The fact that I was a participant in Theo’s plot, and could therefore
share the brunt of this anger, was less troubling than the thought that Merrick
had been so determined to die.

I tried to put it
out of mind, approaching him at the washtub and reaching for the cloth. I
lathered it with soap, paused for a moment, and then moved behind him and
lifted the rag to his back.

He turned his head
with surprise. “Trading places?” he asked, amused.

“If you’ll let
me.”

He laughed under
his breath and lifted the pitcher above his head, wetting his hair.

I was getting used
to the situation; meaning, the one that involved me lying passionately with
another man each night. My embarrassment and anxiety had faded significantly,
but I was still nervous and unsure of myself. Other than the day I’d climbed
into the coffin with him, this was as close as I had yet come to making the
first move.

I rubbed the soapy
cloth firmly against his muscles, following their lines and kneading them
wherever they felt tight and stiff. He rewarded me with a sigh of pleasure.
After he rinsed his hair, he turned around and took the cloth from my hand.

That was somewhat
disappointing. I had been working up the nerve to make it around to his front.
Instead I found myself luxuriating in his touch again as he ran the cloth over
my body from head to toe, lingering deliberately at certain points so that by
the time he set the rag aside to close his bare hand around me for a slow,
teasing stroke, I was already stiff and ready.

Seeing my chance,
I picked up the rag and began to sweep it over his bare chest.

He caught my chin
and lifted it to give me a soft kiss. Working his lips and tongue tenderly
against mine as he slowly stroked me, he seemed relaxed beneath my hands until
I ran the cloth below his navel.

“No.” He gently
caught my hand.

“It’s only a
bath,” I replied, my voice a little heavy with the heat of his touch. I thought
I felt him smirk against my lips, but he slowly released my hand.

I washed his hips
and thighs, my heart beating still faster as I drew closer to the object of my
curiosity. Then, on accident, my wrist brushed against it.

Merrick’s breath
caught, and he tensed.

I couldn’t help
it. I looked down.

For God’s sake.

The man was
perfect to the last inch.

Though I had
craved seeing him like this, I hadn’t been sure how I would react. To my
complete lack of surprise, I reacted the same way I always did where he was
concerned: with desire.

He drew a sharp
breath when I ran my finger up the length, and he exhaled, shuddering, when I
tentatively closed my hand around it. His hands came up to frame my face and he
nearly kissed me, but held back.

“Does it please
you?” I asked, trying to do to him what he did to me, and what I liked to be
done.

“Too much.”

I wanted to watch
his face, but when our eyes met I looked down again nervously. My desire spiked
when I saw his hand on me, and my hand on him. Mesmerized, I watched myself
explore the shape of him, stroking the smooth skin, testing the firm thickness
of it with both hands.

He let go of me
and took my hands from him suddenly, exhaling. Before I could think of
something to say, he caught me around the waist and pulled me close. A small
sound escaped my throat when I felt our still-dripping bodies pressed together,
and he kissed me as if to swallow it.

“Forgive me,” he
breathed.

“What’s the
matter?” I felt him trembling slightly.

He teased his lips
against my cheek, kneading my back as he held me tight against him. Slowly,
almost cautiously, he released me. “Go inside and wait for me.”

Again I felt a
twinge of disappointment, but I nodded and let him wrap the cloth around me
before I carried my clothes back inside.

I lay in the bed,
restless and still aroused, and wandered through a few of the curious thoughts
that had begun to spring up in my mind in the past week or so, ever since I had
wondered if I’d ever be able to pleasure Merrick the way he pleasured me.
Perhaps it was not possible for a vampire. Perhaps he was afraid he’d lose
control and drain me completely.

When Merrick
returned in his breeches, he sat beside me and took my hand, lifting it to his
lips and softly kissing my palm. I reached for him, encircling my arms around
his neck as his lips moved along the inside of my arm until they reached my
ear.

“Forgive me,” he
whispered. “My resolve falters.” He lowered his face to my neck and breathed
in, then turned his face to my shoulder as his hand wandered down my body. “I
am afraid even to kiss you.”

I longed to
satisfy him. But how could I say it? “I like it when you drink from me,” I
murmured, shifting slowly beneath his gentle caresses. I felt him smile against
my shoulder.

“Yes,” he replied
softly. “I know. But I like it even more.”

“Is that what…” I
bit my lips against a sudden moan, and then let out an unsteady breath. God,
his hands! “…satisfies you?”

“Your pleasure
satisfies me.” His fingertips trailed over my face, and his lips brushed
against mine. “Your breathless voice.” He smoothed my hair back, moving his
lips over my brow. “The flush of your skin.”

I groaned, moving
against his hand. When had I lost my shame? But this was not the time to worry
about it, not while his touch was lifting me to those spectacular heights,
heights I had never reached before I knew his touch.

“The way you
tremble,” he breathed against my cheek. “Your swift pulse…”

He wasn’t answering
my question, but… My head fell back. I felt it building, about to snap, and
combed my hands through his hair.

“Open your eyes.”

I found his
luminous amber gaze locked on my face, and moments later the swell of tension
broke and ecstasy poured through me until I lay limp and shuddering.

He held me in his
arms, tucking my head below his chin, until my body was calm. Then he kissed my
forehead and slowly sat up.

I could never
watch as he cleaned up. It made my cheeks burn just thinking of my own release
coating his hand.

“I will be gone
for a few hours,” Merrick said, pulling on a shirt.

“Are you riding
with Theo?” I asked, still curious and hoping for some clue about them. I had
started to feel a bit sorry for Theo the night he’d left. After all, he had
traveled all this way to save his friend, and he still lingered for Merrick’s
sake despite having to endure his cold anger. The little pansy was totally out
of his element in these muddy woods, and though I found his suffering more
amusing than anything, I had to admit that his loyalty was admirable.

“No.” Merrick
pulled on a jacket.

I had learned that
he wore no robe when he rode at night to feed. I supposed it only made sense
that he kept his two identities separate.

But then, there
were three identities, weren’t there? There was Doctor Merrick, the villagers’
kindly apothecary and physician. There was Silas the vampire, who roamed the
roads at night hunting travelers and drinking their blood – disposing of their
bodies, too, I guessed. And there was my Merrick, the gentle man who had been
my master, was now my lover, and whose blood would eventually change me into a
vampire.

I had my own
identity crisis, of course. For William Lacy, the clever, loquacious, and
virile young book peddler from New York City had become William Lacy, the
bewildered rural botany student and wanton lover of another man (who also
happened to be a vampire).

Damn. Quite a
strange way to come of age…

Merrick paused at
the cave’s entrance and turned back to me. “We will be moving to the city,” he
said.

I sat up,
surprised. “What?”

“Closer to it.” He
straightened his cuffs absently.

This was
unexpected.

He looked up at me
again, intently. “Does it please you?”

I thought about it
for a moment. “Yes,” I said. “Though I will miss the wilds.”

Yes, I was
pleased, it seemed. Living in the city with Merrick? Why not? Then again,
“Why?”

He paused. “I am
ready for a change.”

“Well,” I said,
“I’ve always liked a bit of change.”

He gave me one of
his warm, sudden smiles that made my heart melt. “Goodnight, William.”

“Goodnight.” I
watched him go.