Authors: Kitty Margo
Midsummer's Eve (23 page)
Ten
W
e hadn’
t been at Studebakers ten minutes when I made eye contact with a fairly handsome middle-aged man leaning casually against the bar. He smiled and immediately made his way toward our table.
“Doesn’
t take you long, does it?” Teri quipped.
As he approached
,
I noticed
he was a few inches taller than me with black hair and a rich deep tan. He was one of those rugged men who so appealed to me.
“
What are y
ou drinking?”
He grinned, showing perfect white teeth.
He had passed my
first requirement. Good teeth. Honestly, I can
kiss for hours on end if my partner is even reasonab
ly proficient at it. And for thi
s to happen good teeth and pleasant breath are an absolute must. I had to suppress a shudder as I remembered the bad breathed dogcatcher.
“Bloody Mary,”
I said returning his
gorgeous
smile.
“I’
ll be right back.”
As it turned out he was from Winston Salem, single, 45 and divorced. Requirement number 2 was checked off of my list. He was single. I
introduced him to the others, “This is Stephen.”
“Hi Stephen.” Teri beamed, extending her bejeweled hand.
“Hello there.”
Mallory
simpered, grinning from ear
to ear as she did when
introduced to any member of the opposite sex regardless of age, physical appearance or nationality.
“Hi,
Theven
.”
The poor girl sounded so depressed that even I was praying for a gang of Mexicans to bum rush the door.
Steven turned to me and asked, “Would you like to dance?”
“Sure.”
He took my hand and led me to the dance floor, where we swayed and talked for the next several songs. I learned that he had two grown children and 3 grandchildren. He had been divorced for about 5 years. The divorce was supposedly due to philandering on his ex wife’s part. I discovered that he was self-employed also, owning a successful welding business. He had passed requirement number 3 with flying colors. He was gainfully employed.
On his next trip to the bar, he returned with another round of Bloody Mary’
s and a
red rose with a cute little bear attached. How long had it been since a man had presented me with a gift?
“
Thank you, Stephen.
” I brought the rose to my nose and inhaled its heady fragrance. “
How very sweet.
I love it.”
“You’re
welcome.”
Then he leaned
toward me. “
Be right back. G
oing to the men’
s room.”
“Didn’
t take you long to hook him, did it? Look at you
already receiving gifts.”
Teri shouted
to be heard above the music. “And he is too fine.”
“
He is fine. And he smells good enough to take a bite out of.”
“Down girl.” Teri snickered as she sipped from a dirty martini. “At least wait until he tells you his name before you go nibbling on him. What’s he wearing
by the way
?”
“Jean Paul.”
“Oh no! Not Jean Paul! You will be putty in his hands! The man never even knew when he was getting dressed that his choice of cologne could get him laid tonight.”
Jean Paul Gautier c
ologne for men, to be exact. I knew the fragrance immediately, because over the years I have purchased gallons at Christmas for my son and other male family members. A more delicious fragrance for men doesn’t exist. Honestly, the scent makes me melt!
“You gonna do him?”
Teri inquired.
I didn’
t have to answer as
Mallory
and the slimmer of her acquaintances from the beach, Tyrick, came bouncing to the table after a hip thrusting routine to
Lady Gaga’s
Poker Face
.
Tammy still sat looking forlornly toward the door.
“Why don’t
you just give a whi
te boy a chance?”
Stephen asked
upon returning to our table.
“Or a brother?” Tyrick chimed in. “I could hook you up.”
“
Nothing
againth
you two,” she informed them sadly. “
But Mexican men really know how to treat a woman, and they are
tho thweet
.”
“I’m sweet,”
Tyrick insisted.
“Me too,”
Stephen added,
grabbing my hand to pull me back on the dance floor.
“
Thath
okay.”
Stephen pulled me back on the dance floor. Good Lord the man could dance an
d smelled positively divine. However
,
I
had already decided that I wasn’
t going to jump in
the sack with him.
There wouldn’
t be a notch added to my
one night
stand Studebaker belt
tonight. My life was slowly inching back toward a s
emblance of normalcy and I wasn’
t about to throw a curve ball into the chaotic mix now.
When the club closed, even though Stephen begged me to go for a walk on the beach,
Tammy, Teri, and
I left him at the hotel entrance. It was too soon.
But
I
did
promise to meet him back at the club the following night.
Back in our room, I opened the balcony doors before crawling into bed.
No matter how hot it is,
I always sleep with the
doors open at the beach
so I can hear the crashing waves and feel the ocean breezes.
“Teri, do you think
Mallory
is doing both of them again?”
“At the very least the two of them, but I imagine she picked up enough strays in the c
lub to have a full-fledged orgy.
”
Teri sounded
slightly envious.
“Weren’t you tempted to go with them?” I teased.
“No, not really. Because as tw
ats go
,
mine is relatively small. This is both good and bad. On one hand men absolutely love it, on the other I still have to insert spacers into my vagina occasionally to keep it open. As much as I would love to, I’m afraid a black man would rip me a new one.”
“Yep, you better stick with white men then. Or have you ever tried a Latino man? I hear they are about average.”
“Not
tho
!
Thum
of them are definitely above average.”
“Oh yes, I’ve had Latino me
n, but I would rather be able to understand a man when he is talking dirty to me. What if he tells me in Spanish that he wants to choke me until I turn blue, or chain me to the bed, or use a whip on my ass, and I unwittingly agree to it?”
I was still giggling
when I drifted to sleep.
The next day while
Tammy
and
Mallory
basked in the harmful rays of the sun, Teri and I hit the mall
. They didn’
t get the whole concept of going to the beach and wasting time shopping any more than I did, but I couldn’t send Teri out alone.
That girl could shop until the soles of her flip-flops melted and keep on going, especially the outlet malls where she thought she was getting a bargain. She had 75% of her Christmas shopping completed when we finally left the mall and I had four cute new outfits.
Satisfied that I could look presentable for at least four consecutive days, Teri and I went back to the hotel and met the girls at the poolside grill for hotdogs and hamburgers.
Oh Lord, they were setting up karaoke. Of all things! If Teri stepped up to the microphone we would never get it out of her hands in time to make it to the club before closing time.
“Look girls! Karaoke!”
She squealed with unabashed delig
ht upon spying the microphone. “What are we going to sing?”
“We aren’t singing anything,” I said. “
What are you singing? And
please don’
t embarrass us by singing som
ething from a Broadway musical.”
“
Well, that certainly takes the fun out of it and when
did you become such a killjoy?”
Ignoring her question, I made a suggestion hoping to get her sidetracked from the ever popular
show tunes. “
Do
Black Velvet
. You sing that really well.”
“Yes.
I
do, don’t I?” She was
busily searching through the book
of songs for
song number
s and jotting them down
. “I also do a mean
Betty Davis Eyes
.”
She waltzed up to the microphone, cleared her throat a few times, leaned slightly forward for added effect, and belted out the song. She really could sing and finished to a round of robust applause, along with raucous shouts of encore from a table of men in the corner. She bowed, waved to the men and headed straight for the
song selection
book to choose her next number.
Immediately
she was back on stage singing
Dancing Queen
by Abba, which was equally impressive. She followed these with several more songs from the eighties and showed no sign of slowing down anytime soon. The girl was in her element and loving it.
Around 8:00, I went to the room to bathe and change for the club with disco mania ringing in my ears. Teri refused to give up the stage, informing us that she was having too much fun to leave, since she had befriended two couples that shared her passion for music of a
nother era. Heaven help them
!
Tyrick had shown up looking quite sexy. You could almost see drool forming in the corners of
Mallory
’
s mouth. He and
Mallory
remained at the foot of the karaoke stage sipping drinks appropriately named Sex on the Beach and shouting encouragement to Teri.
When
Tammy
and I arrived at
t
he club
Stephen was waiting patien
tly at the door
looking every bit as handsome as he had the night before in Bermuda shorts, a
bright orange
Myrtle Beach tee shirt and Rainbows. Believe me, the man smelled so delicious it was a challenge to keep from locking lips with him r
ight there on the sidewa
lk. My
r
esolve
not to add another notch to my
o
ne night
stand Studebaker belt
was steadily weakening. We are talking super sonic speed here!
Now
Mallory
swears she would never be caught dead in public with a man wearing sandals. Well, I would prefer the man not be wearing Jerusalem cruisers, however, flip-flops on a man are rather sexy in my opinion, especially at the beach.
Steven hugged me, presented me with yet another rose and taking my hand led us to a reserved table. How thoughtful! I had yet to find a single flaw with the man.
The Studebopper Dancers were performing on the dance floor when Stephen went to the bar for drinks. As soon as the dancers finished their routine, we heard
It's Electric
and that was our cue to hit the floor. You just know I consider myself to be the Electric Slide Queen!
At Studebaker’
s the
Electric Slide
continues through at least three songs and
Tammy
and I never missed a beat. Next came the
Cupid Shuffle
and when the dance ended we made our way through the masses to the table where Stephen waited with another round of Bloody Marys.
“
Next slow song is min
e,”
he whispered against my ear sending a delicious shiver racing through me. “I’ve been thinking abou
t holding you in my arms since I left you last night
.”
Whew! I don’t know about Stella, but
Eve
was definitely getting her groove back.
My breath caught in my throat as I turned my head so that our l
ips lightly grazed each other. “
I can’t wait,” I breathed. Wow! The blood was certainly pulsing through the old nether region toni
ght! Oh Lord, it’s been so long! P
lease don’t let me attack this man on the dance floor!
My head was beginning to spin as we danced and drank several more rounds of Bloody Marys. I wondered if Stephen really liked that particular cocktail or was simply funneling them because it was my drink of choice?
We were on the dance floor, with Stephen holding me sinfully close, when he pressed his moist, soft li
ps close to my ear. “Would you look at that?”
“What?”
My head was on his shoulder and my nose was pressed to his neck breathing in his glorious fragrance
and I didn’t want to move a single muscle
.
“Look, Eve
.”
Humoring him, I glanced over and talk about a total shock to the system! I couldn't believe
my eyes. Tammy and a
slightly less than attractive, albeit
an apparently
rich
and
slightly less than
attractive
white boy
,
were in a passionate embrace right there on the dance floor!
Stephen and I returned to the table to wait. We couldn’t miss this introduction. After the dance she brought her dance partner to our table.
“
Thith ith
Melvin. Melvin,
thith ith
Eve
and
Theven
.”
“
Hi, Eve
,
Theven
,”
he said, shaking Steven’
s hand.
“It’
s Steven,” Steven told him.
“Oh
, right…
sorry.”
I leaned over to Tam
my and whispered, “A white boy
?
What’s up with that?
”
“It was either that or be alone all weekend. I felt
thorry
for him
thitting
all alone.
Pluth
,
look at him, you can tell
heth
loaded. If I am going to do a white boy he will h
ave to have money coming out hith
ath
.
”
“
Yes, he does look like he’s loaded and has money coming out his ass. And you felt sorry for him? Tammy, honey, t
he world could use
more good women like you
.”
At some point in the evening the DJ announces the names of major cities in neighboring states and you applaud if you live in that city or close to it. When he mentioned Charlotte,
Tammy
and I stood up and whistled and clapped since it was the closes
t city to our hometown. He wasn’
t likely to announce the booming metropolis of Twin Rivers. I glanced at the surprisingly quiet Stephen when Winston Salem was announced.
Then to my complete astonish
ment and utter regret, he stood and applauded loudly for the c
ity of Myrtle Beach. Admittedly
he’
d had several drinks. Evidently
a few too many, because when I asked if Myrtle Beach was his home he forgot to lie.
Adam
would have done much better.
“
Yes, I have a
home at the country club, why?”
“
Well, Steven, because you told me your home was in Winston Salem.” I took one last whiff of his marvelous cologne k
nowing it would be my last. “So
I can only assume that was a lie.”
“Oh.”
He had the decency to blush, rememberin
g the mention of his fabricated
hometown. “Damn, I guess I’m getting to old for this.”
“Evidently.” He had proven to be just another typical, sweet smelling, lying member of the mal
e species. Nothing new there! “
And
you aren’
t divorced either, are you
?”
“
Uh, no,” he mumbled in his slight state of
inebriation. “But I wish I was!”
“
Me too.” Damn, I wish
ed
Teri were here. She was so good at giving people their comeuppance. “But wishing and doing are two entirely different things. Why don’t you just go home to your wife where you be
long? If you aren’t happy,
tell her. If you can’t work it out, then leave her. Don’t go club hopping, spinning lies and trying to hook up with innocent women. Be a man for God’s sake! Now, if you will excuse me,” I snapped, leaving my seat to move to another table.
He had the nerve to follow me and put his hand on mine causing me to wonder if perh
ap
s his hearing was
all it s
hould be and asked. “Can’
t we just be together tonight? You can’t come to the beach an
d go home without getting laid.”
“You wanna bet!” I snatched
my hand from his. “And if I do decide to get laid, as you so tactfully put it, it won’t be by the likes of you. The way you pick up women, I wouldn’t go within 10 feet of your nasty, and probably diseased, pecker! So my advice to you would be to get the hell out of
my
face!”
I adamantly refused to let another despicable member of the male species ruin my weekend. It was almost closing time at Studebakers. But as Katie Scarlet
t
would say
, “After
all, tomorrow is another day!”
Tammy
left the dance floor with Melvin and came to our new table with her hands held out, apparently wondering why I had switched tables and left poor Stephen sitting all alone.
“
Whath
wrong?”
“
It would seem our Stephen has difficulty ciphering fact from fiction, as he is very married an
d resides here at Myrtle Beach.”
“
No
thit
! Well, the lying
bathtard
.”
She practically snarled, turnin
g to give him an evil glare. “
Oh well, he
thent
a fortune on
drinth
and
flowerth
.
Therveth
him right.”
“
Yes, he
is a lying bastard and he
did
spend a fortune on drinks and flowers
and it does serve him right
. Are you a typical lying man, Melvin?” I asked, pointedly gazing into the eyes of the most homely man, reminiscent of Disney’s animated Ichabod Crane, that I had ever had the privilege to encounter.
“
No, ma’am,” he insisted and blushed to the roots of his horribly highlighted hair. “I try real hard not to ever lie, especially to a female.”
It would seem the old adage was true. Everyone did look better at closing t
ime. But
,
bless his heart
,
I hadn’
t partaken of enough vodka to make poor Melvin attr
active. It was obvious that I’
d had too much to drink though, for even the name Melvin sent me into convulsions of laughter.
“
Whath tho
funny?”
“Nothing, this is the last song and I am going to borrow your man,
Tammy
. Come on,
Melvin, let’
s dance.”
“
Heeth
from Columbia, or at
leath
he
thad
he
ith
,”
Tammy
shouted, turning to give Stephen another withering glare.
After the dance ended and we had returned to the table
Tammy
said,
“
Ith almoth clothing
time,
tho
we are going to get you a taxi and then go to
hith
room to watch a movie.”
“Okay, sounds like a plan.”
Although, I was sure that neither of them would be watching TV tonight. I almost suggested that she stop off at the Piggly Wiggly for a paper bag but, fortunately, for once
,
my drunk
ass held my tongue.
I entered our room
to find Teri sitting with her feet propped on the balcony, gazing out across the ocean.
“Just what in the hell
are you doing back here?” she
mumbled sleepily. I had hoped she would be in dreamland by now.
“Um
, why wouldn’t I come back here?
”
“You know exactly what I mean, t
wit! Why aren’t you with that sweet smelling hunk?”
“I’m not ready
for a hunk just yet, no matter how sweet he smells
.”
“When will you ever learn
, girlfriend
?
I thought I had raised you to know that t
he only way to get over one man is to get under another.”
The thought of getting under any man right now actually made me nauseous.
“Put on your suit and let’s go get pickled in the hot tub.”