Midsummer's Eve (10 page)

I hoped she was joking. But Lo
rd knows the girl still had
a goodly amount of residual testosterone flowing through her veins.
“
Could w
e perhaps devise a plan that’s
a little
less criminal?”
I set desert dishes and my choc
olate concoction on the table. “
Perhaps formulate a plan tha
t doesn’
t include the possibility of me rubbing elbows with a
mass murderer
?
”

“
Well, that certainly takes
all
the fun
out of it
,”
Teri quipped
, draining her glass of tea and
getting up for a refill. “Anybody else want more?”

“
You know how he lo
ves his car.”
Mallory
brainstormed as she held out her glass
. “
It could a
lways get accidentally damaged.”

“
He would know
the
did it.
And have the
copth
on her
atth
in a minute.”

“
I don’
t think he would have
the cops
on her ass
,”
Mallory
disagreed, scooping out dessert and passing the bowl to Tammy
. “
But he would certainly
be extremely pissed and
exp
ect her to pay for the damages.”

“
How good
doth thith thound
? What if Chia fell for
thumone elth
?”
Tammy
nearly swooned as the desert touched her lips. She popped a cherry and then giggled and continued with her ide
a of a joke. “
And
the
dumped him.”

Oh my God! What a beautiful plan.
And why hadn’
t I thought of it? That would cause
Adam
volumes of untold misery if the woman he was madly
in love
with fell for someone else and
suddenly
departed his firm grasp
for the arms of another man.

“That’s it,”
I whispered absently lickin
g the chocolate from my spoon. “
Tammy
you are a
freaking
genius, and why
didn’
t you think of it sooner?”
It was such a truly brilliant plot! Revenge at its best! “And I know jus
t the person to do it.
” I glanced at
Mallory
with a sly grin.

“Eric!”
we both said in unison as
Mallory
’s eyes took on a faraway gleam
.

“He could do it,”
she murmured, licking her lips. She had made an exception and gone a few rounds with his pink dicked self
,
and judging from the leering grin on her face, was at that very minute contemplating the offer of a repeat performance.

Eric was an employee of mine. Tall, tan, drop dead gorgeous, and had probably never once heard the word no fall from the lips of a female.

“Okay, we have a plan,” Teri said deep in thought. “Now for the details. Where does the trollop live?”

“I have no idea.”
If I ha
d odds were great that my Jeep would be parked in the general vic
inity of her apartment right then
. “Damn!”

“
Well, now let’
s just think about this. Surely someone can tell us where the hussy lives. I mean this is Twin Rivers,
not Charlotte.
It wouldn’
t be beneath you to follow her home one night, would it?” Teri, the reigning Queen of Scheme suggested.

“
Brilliant!” I giggled knowing full well, as did everyone else at the table, that when it came to
Adam
nothing was beneath me.

“
But he would
recognith
your car in a heartbeat,”
Tammy
suggested. “I’
ll do it. I’ll borrow my
dadth
truck.
Adam
dothn’
t
know what my dad
driveth
.
”

“
Great.
You’re right, Adam doesn’t know what your dad drives.
But
then again,
Adam
is
always at their little love nest
,”
I said
thinking aloud. “So Eric couldn’
t just show up on the
doorstep and commence to seducing
her.”

“
It needs to be an accidental meeting of
some sort.”
Teri absentmindedly spooned a tiny portion of whipped cream from the calorie-laden dish into her mouth. The second spoon contained what could only be referred to as a dollop of whipped cream and included a cherry. The third scoop of her spoon dug to the bottom of the Pyrex dish like she was digging for oil. She closed her eyes for a second moaning
seductively and
savorin
g the sweetness that, until that
very moment, had been an all but nonexistent flavor in her diet.

Oh, no, no, no! Not a good sign!
Tammy
,
Mallory
and I exchanged troubled glances. Sugar was T
eri’
s s
worn enemy and if her mind hadn’
t been racing a mile a minute toward
Adam
’
s anticipated downfall, it would have never reached her luscious, silicone-injected lips.

“
W
e don’
t know anything about where she sho
ps or spends her time when the N
eanderthal isn’
t with her.” Teri murmured and
closed her eyes as she licke
d
a dab of stray whipped cream
from her lips
.

“
We need her phone number so
Eric can call her,”
Mallory
said attempting to pull her distressed gaze from the sight of Teri, who had already scooped out half of the 9 x 13 forbidden delicacy.

Unfortunately
Mallory
knew, as did
Tammy
and I, that we would all be on the receiving end of harsh phone calls r
iddled with obscenities
when Teri either remembered this lapse in judgment or stepped on the scales, whichever came first. She would berate us repeatedly for not having the
common sense of a warthog
to chop off her fingers in an effort to cease the dreaded sweets from contributing to the ruination of her perfect figure.

“Is it in the phone book?”
Teri mumbled around a cherry.

“
No, I
’ve
already checked.”
Mallory
,
Tammy
,
and I shoved Teri’s spoon aside and ladled out desert while there was still some left.

Think, Eve, think! How could we get her phone number?

“I’ve got it!”
Teri
shrieked, her glazed
eyes evidence of a sugar high. “
It would be on
Adam
's home phone.”

Yes, her number would be on
Adam
’s home phone. According to Justin, he
and C
h
i
a wiled away many lazy afternoons on
the phone. On the rare occasion
when they were
n’
t in each other’s arms that is
. “
You are abs
olutely right.”
I gave
Teri a high five. “It would be, wouldn’
t it?
How did you get so dang
smart?”

“It’s a gift,”
she answered in her typical matter of fact fashion, all the while scraping the dish for the last smidgeon of desert and seeming overwrought that it was gone.
Tammy
saw Teri eyeing her dessert dish and ate faster.

“
Can you get in the
houth
and get the number?”
Tammy
asked, peeking at Teri from under her lashes.

If I know
Tammy
, and I do,
she would take her phone off
the hook until Teri had been given sufficient time to rake
Mallory
and me over the coals and, hopefully forget about her in the process. Somehow, I always got stuck with the dirty work.

Getting into
Adam
’
s house - n
ow that could prove to be somewhat of a challenge. I had to ponder that for a minute. I was certain
that
he locked the doors to his house of ill repute before leaving. Then it hit me like a lightening bolt streaking through the
window behind the sink. “
He told me once that he leaves one of his kitchen windows unlocked in case he loses his
keys.”

“The absen
tminded lunatic does have cause
for concern.” Teri rubbed her temples as if the mere thought of
Adam
caused her head to ache. “But there you go! Crawl in the windo
w and get it off his caller ID.”

Well, didn’t Teri make it sound like the easiest and most perfectly legal act of breaking and entering in the world?
Of course
,
I would do it. I
t would be worth shivering on a cot in a jail cell for one night to bring
Adam
a little pain and suffering. Yep, I would do it, but n
ot without an able accomplice. “
Will you come with me,
Mallory
?”

“You know I will.”
She grinned and excitedly rubbed her hands together. She was
always game for any adventure. “When do you want to do it?”

“
Tonight. I am so ready to show
Adam
first hand just how painful love can be
.”

Teri and
Tammy
said their goodbyes and
Mallory
and I put on our spy gear. The only thing missing from this
Mission Impossible
scene was Tom Cruise.     

Adam
’
s shift ended at 11:00 and he would be home by 12:00, on the off chance that
he wasn’
t sleeping
over with his paramour
. It was 10:15, so time was of the essence.

Don’
t you know two grown women had never looked quite as ridiculous as we did skulking around in our black coats, gloves and toboggans? The gloves were so we wouldn’t leave fingerprints, of course. You know I read every single word Patricia Cornwell writes and never miss an episode of CSI.

And what about my Jeep? Was I supposed to park it in his driveway during our daring venture into espionage? No, there was a wooded lot across from his house. I could park on the back side and cut through the woods. Then we would cross the
dirt road
, hopefully without being seen or heard.
Damn!
I
suddenly remembered that I
had forgotten the duct tape for
Mallory
’
s mouth.

I parked the Jeep as close to the edge of the woods as possible. Adrenaline gushed through my veins as I switched off the engine. Thankfully clouds were covering the full moon, so we felt semi
-
safe.
“Let’s do this!”

Stepping out, we were greeted by a chorus of croaking bullfrogs, buzzing mosquitoes, chirping crickets and a hooting owl. Now that was unusual. Whoever heard of mosquitoes being a nuisance in the dead of winter? I might have given that thought further contemplation, if
Mallory
hadn’
t rushed up beside me and began her nonstop, nervous chatter. We stealthily scooted from tree to tree, like amateur cat burglars, trying to stay in the shadows.

“Hush
,
Mallory
!”
The girl
had
squealed like a pig when a whippoorwill in the tree directly overhead issued an alarm. He was fulfilling his duty as night watchman by signaling the forest creatures that a stranger was in their midst. “It was just a whippoorwill.” 

“Well, he needs to be quiet!”

“Don’
t count on it. Once those birds start singing they never hush.”