Monkey (38 page)

‘We shouldn’t dare,’ said the Old Woman. And immediately the wind ceased. Pigsy could not refrain from bawling out, ‘Those Taoists must step down. There is not a breath of wind. They must make way for us at once.’ Again the Immortal grasped his tablet, burnt magic slips and struck the altar with a resounding crash. At once the sky became full of clouds and mist. ‘Who’s supposed to be in charge of the
clouds?’ Monkey cried, looking up into the sky; and the Cloud Boy and Mist Lad appeared before him, bowing low. When Monkey had explained the situation to them, they immediately cleared the sky, and not a cloud or wreath of mist was left. ‘You’ve been swindling your Emperor,’ jeered Pigsy, ‘and all your magic is bunkum. You stand there fiddling with your tablet, and there isn’t a cloud in the sky.’

Now extremely perturbed, the Immortal leant on his long sword and loosed his hair. Then he burned more slips and recited more spells, banging once more with his tablet. All that happened was that in a moment or two the Thunder God and Mother of Lightnings appeared in the sky, bowing towards Monkey.

‘What brings you here ?’ he said.

‘The magic of this Immortal,’ they said, ‘is perfectly correct and valid. The spells that he burnt reached the Jade Emperor, and he ordered us to come and make a storm.’

‘The storm is all right,’ said Monkey, ‘provided that it happens when I want it. But you must hold it up for a bit.’ They bowed assent, and no thunder rolled, no lightning flashed.

The Immortal, in a perfect frenzy, was burning strips, reciting spells, and striking again and again with his tablet. Nothing happened.

‘Now it’s my turn,’ said Monkey. ‘I’m not going to burn any magic writings or bang with a tablet. I rely on you two divinities to help me out.’

‘Tell us what you want done,’ said the Thunder God, ‘and we will do it. Otherwise rain and thunder and lightning will come all mixed up together, and you won’t get proper credit.’

‘I intend to direct the proceedings with my cudgel.’

‘Father,’ said the God of Thunder, ‘you’re surely not going to cudgel us?’

‘Not at all,’ said Monkey. ‘I merely ask you to watch my cudgel. When I point it upwards, you’re to send a blast of wind.’

‘We’re standing by, ready with our wind-bag,’ said the Old Woman of the Wind.

“The second time I point it upwards,’ said Monkey, ‘there are to be clouds, and the third time, thunder and lightning. The fourth time, rain; and the fifth time, the whole storm must cease.’

Very crestfallen, the Immortal left the altar and went to join the king in his upper room. ‘I’ve been watching the proceedings attentively,’ said the king. ‘You don’t seem to have been able to produce either wind or rain. What’s wrong ?’

‘The rain-dragons are not at home today,’ said the Immortal.

‘Don’t you believe him,’ cried Monkey. ‘They are all at home. The trouble is that this Immortal has no real power over them. We Buddhists will soon set them to work. Just you see!’

‘All right,’ said the king. ‘Go to the altar, and I’ll wait here and see if there is any rain.’

‘Come along now,’ said Monkey to Tripitaka. ‘You’ve got to help me.’

‘My dear disciple,’ said Tripitaka, ‘don’t think that
I
know anything about making rain!’

‘Don’t let him drag you into it,’ whispered Pigsy. ‘He’s only trying to have someone to put the blame on if no rain comes.’

‘It’s true you don’t know how to make rain,’ said Monkey to Tripitaka. ‘But you know how to recite scriptures. I’ll do the rest.’ Tripitaka went up to the altar, sat down, and composing his mind began silently to recite the Heart Sutra.

Suddenly an official rushed up and said, ‘Where is your tablet ? Why aren’t you burning magic strips ?’

‘We do our work quietly,’ said Monkey, ‘without all that needless fuss.’

When Tripitaka had finished reciting, Monkey took out his cudgel and, expanding it, pointed towards the sky. The Old Woman of the Wind at once brought out her bag, Erh-lang loosed the rope at its mouth, and with a great roar the wind rushed out. All through the city tiles were lifted through the air, bricks hurtled, sand and stones flew. When the wind was at its height, Monkey again pointed with his stick, and such a
black cloud covered the sky that the whole town was dark and even the neighbouring palace utterly disappeared.

Presently Monkey pointed again, and deafening peals of thunder shook the earth. It was as though a hundred thousand chariots were rolling by. The inhabitants of the town were frightened out of their wits and one and all began burning incense and saying their prayers. ‘Now Thunder God’ screamed Monkey, ‘do your work! Strike down all greedy and corrupt officials, all disobedient and surly sons, as a warning to the people!’ The din grew louder than ever. Monkey pointed again, and such a rain fell that it seemed as if the whole Yellow River had suddenly fallen out of the sky. This rain fell from early morning till noon. The town was already one vast swamp, when the king sent a message saying, ‘That’s enough rain. If there is much more it will ruin the crops and we shall be worse off than ever.’

Monkey at once pointed with his cudgel, and in an instant the storm completely ceased, and there was not a cloud in the sky. The king was delighted, and his officers cried out in admiration, ‘Wonderful priests! It is true indeed that there is always a stronger than the strongest! In the past we have seen our Immortals bring rain successfully. But even they could not stop the rain all in a moment. It always went on drizzling for the rest of the day. Whereas when these priests signalled for the rain to stop, not a drop more rain fell and the whole sky cleared immediately.’ The king announced that he would return to the Palace and deal with the passports at once.

‘Pardon me, your Majesty,’ said the Deer Strength Immortal, ‘it was I, not the Buddhists, who produced this rain.’

‘You said just now,’ protested the king, ‘that the dragons were not at home and that this made it impossible to get rain. But directly the Buddhists set to work, in their quiet way, rain fell. I do not see how you can claim any credit.’

‘There was evidently some little difficulty about getting into touch with the executive officers in charge of wind, cloud, thunder, and rain,’ said the Immortal. ‘The dragons would not in any case dare to neglect our instructions. By the time the Buddhists had approached the altar, contact had been made and our orders were being carried out.’

The king felt thoroughly confused and was still turning over this claim in his mind, when Monkey came forward and cried, ‘Your Majesty, this was after all a trifling and commonplace performance, and it is not worth while disputing who should get the credit for it. The four dragon kings, who came at our bidding, are however still waiting, invisible, not far off in the sky. If these Immortals can induce them to show themselves, I will admit that they should be given the credit.’

‘I’ve been king for twenty-three years,’ said the king. ‘But no one has ever been able to show me a dragon, and I hardly know what one looks like. I am prepared to reward anyone who can do this, and I shall certainly punish anyone who claims to be able to do so, and fails.’

The Taoists knew quite well that such a thing was beyond their powers. All the same, they called; but no dragon dared answer the summons, with Monkey standing there. Now it was Monkey’s turn. ‘Dragon Ao-kuang,’ he called, ‘are you there? Let’s have a look at you and your brothers.’ The four dragons at once appeared, surging through the clouds towards the summit of the Hall of Golden Bells. The king immediately began to burn incense, and his ministers all knelt down in adoration on the steps of the throne.

‘I feel ashamed of having troubled these honoured forms to appear,’ said the king. ‘By all means tell them that I would not dream of detaining them further. I will shortly find an opportunity of repaying them by offerings.’

‘Spirits,’ cried Monkey, ‘you can now retire. The king will repay you with offerings at the earliest opportunity.’ The dragons at once retired to their respective oceans, and the various other spirits went back to the sky.

And if you do not know how the Immortals were eventually disposed of, you must listen to what is told in the next chapter.

S
EEING
that Monkey had even dragons at his beck and call, the king was just at the point of stamping the passports with his jewelled seal and sending the pilgrims on their way, when the three Taoists rushed forward and put in a petition, kneeling as they did so, which was quite contrary to their usage. The king, helping them to rise, asked why they had suddenly become so ceremonious. ‘For twenty years,’ they said, ‘we have done everything in our power to guard and succour your subjects and realms. Today these Buddhists have robbed us of all our credit. But we feel sure that you will not forgive murderers only on the strength of a single shower ot rain. Can it be that you suddenly hold us so cheap ?’

The king, in great perplexity, after havering for a long while, at last consented to withhold the passports if the Taoists would accept another trial of strength.

‘How about a contest in meditation?’ said the Tiger Strength Immortal.

‘I think that would be a mistake,’ said the king. ‘Meditation is the special business of these Buddhists, and if they were not particularly distinguished in this line, they would not have been chosen to go on this pilgrimage.’

‘We have our own form of meditation,’ said the Tiger Strength Immortal. ‘It is called the Cloud Ladder. We shall require a hundred small tables, fifty for each performer. They are piled one on top of the other, and one has then to levitate to the top without touching with one’s hands, sit down, and remain in motionless trance for several hours.’

‘Could any of you manage that?’ said the king to Monkey.

Monkey hummed uneasily and did not answer.

‘What’s the matter, brother?’ whispered Pigsy. ‘Why don’t you speak?’

‘If it were just a matter of playing football with the firmament, stirring up the ocean, turning back rivers, carrying away mountains, seizing the moon, moving the Pole star, or
shifting a planet, I could manage it easily enough. Even if it were a question of my head being cut off and the brain removed or my belly being ripped open and my heart cut out, or any kind of transference or transformation, I would take on the job at once,’ said Monkey. ‘But if it comes to sitting still and meditating, I am bound to come off badly. It’s quite against my nature to sit still. Even if you chained me to the top of an iron pillar, I should start trying to swarm up and down and should never think of sitting still.’

‘I can practise meditation,’ Tripitaka interposed.

‘Excellent, excellent I’ said Monkey. ‘How long on end can you stay still ?’

‘I had first-rate masters when I was young,’ said Tripitaka, ‘and can remain suspended at the frontier between life and death for two or three years.’

‘Don’t do that,’ said Monkey, ‘or we shall never get to India. Two or three hours would be quite enough. Then you can come down.’

‘My trouble is,’ said Tripitaka, ‘I don’t know how I shall ever succeed in getting up.’

‘Take this job on,’ said Monkey, ‘and I’ll see to it that you get up all right.’

Tripitaka accordingly pressed the palms of his hands together, and addressing the king said, ‘I beg to inform your Majesty that I can meditate.’

Strong men were sent for, and in half an hour or so the two towers were complete. The Tiger Strength Immortal came down from the palace, and making a magic pass produced a carpet of cloud on which he floated up to die top of one of the towers. Monkey then made a five-coloured magic cloud on which he transported Tripitaka to the top of the other tower. When Tripitaka was safely seated, Monkey transformed himself into a gnat and flying close to Pigsy’s ear he said to him, ‘Brother, keep an eye on the Master, and leave all the talking to me.’ That fool laughed and said, ‘As you wish, as you wish!’

Seeing after a time that there was nothing to choose between the competitors, one of the other Immortals decided to give his colleague a little assistance. He plucked some short
hairs from the back of his head, twisted them into a pellet, and tossed them on to the top of Tripitaka’s head. Here they changed into a louse which began to bite him. Tripitaka felt first an irritation and then a sharp pain. But when people are meditating they are not allowed to move their hands; if they do, it counts as a point against them. After a time, unable to bear it any longer, he wriggled his head against his collar.

‘Look out I’ cried Pigsy. ‘He’s going to throw a fit.’

‘I don’t think so,’ said Sandy. ‘It’s just that he’s giddy.’

“The Master is a gentleman,’ said Monkey. ‘If he says that he knows how to meditate he does know how to meditate, and if he said he didn’t know how to, he wouldn’t know how to. Gentlemen always tell the truth. You two keep quiet, while I go and have a look.’ Still in the form of a gnat, Monkey flew with a buzz to Tripitaka’s head and saw that on top of it was a louse the size of a small bean, which he hastily brushed off, and the Master, relieved of his pain, once more sat stiff and straight. ‘On a shaven head like that,’ thought Monkey, ‘one might easily find a flea, but how did a louse get there? It’s certainly the doing of one of those Immortals. Ha, hal Now that I’ve spoilt his trick I’ll try one of my own.’ He flew off and settled on the Immortal’s head where he changed into a centipede and crept into his nostril. The Immortal began to wobble and soon fell headlong from his seat. Had he not been lucky enough to be caught by some officials who were standing near, he would undoubtedly have lost his life. The king was horrified, and ordered the minister on duty to take the Immortal to the Hall of Ornate Flowers and clean him up.