Monkey (39 page)

Monkey then lowered his Master on a platform of cloud and Tripitaka was acclaimed as victor.

The king was just about to let them go, when the Deer Strength Immortal came forward and said, ‘Your Majesty, my brother has been suffering from a suppressed chill, which the draught up there brought on again. That is the only reason that he lost the match. But keep them a little longer and I will have a match with him at “guessing what is behind the boards”.’

‘What do you call “guessing what is behind the boards”?’ asked the king.

‘I am able to guess what is behind boards,’ said the Immortal. ‘Let us see whether this Buddhist can do the same. If he guesses better than I, let him go on his way. But if he cannot guess, let him be punished as you find fit, that our fraternity may be avenged and the services that we have done to your country for twenty years may not be dragged in the dirt.’

So besotted was the king that he listened to this cajolery and ordered a red-lacquered coffer to be brought. This was carried by eunuchs to the women’s quarters and the queen was asked secretly to deposit a treasure of some kind in it. Soon it was brought out again and laid on the white jade steps of the throne. ‘Both sides must now guess what treasure lies in this coffer,’ said the king.

‘Disciple,’ murmured Tripitaka, ‘how can one possibly know what is inside a box ?’

‘Don’t you worry,’ said Monkey, turning once more into a gnat and settling on Tripitaka’s head. ‘I’ll go and have a look.’ He flew lightly to the box, crept under it and noticed that there was a slight chink between two boards at the bottom. He made his way through and found a court robe, laid upon a red lacquered dish. He bit his tongue and spat upon it, crying ‘Change!’ At once it became a cracked old kitchen dish, with nothing but dust on it. Then he crept out and flying to Tripitaka’s ear, he whispered, ‘Guess that it is an old cracked dish.’

‘I was to guess what treasure it was,’ said Tripitaka. ‘An old cracked dish is not a treasure.’

‘Don’t worry about that,’ said Monkey, ‘but just guess as I told you to.’

Tripitaka stepped forward and was just going to guess, when the Deer Strength Immortal asked to be allowed to have the first turn. ‘I guess that in the box there is a royal garment covered with symbols of Earth and Sky,’ he said.

‘No, no!’ cried Tripitaka. ‘It is an old cracked dish.’

‘That’s not very polite,’ said the king. ‘You seem to be making fun of my kingdom by suggesting that an old cracked
dish is the best I can do in the way of a treasure.’ And turning to his officers, he said’ Seize the fellow!’

They were just about to lay hands on Tripitaka when he cried, ‘Your Majesty, wait at least till the box has been opened. If it is indeed found that there is a treasure in it, then I am grievously to blame. But should it prove that no treasure is there, you will have done me a great wrong by laying hands on me.’

The king ordered the box to be opened, and sure enough there was nothing but an old cracked dish.

‘Who put this in the box ?’ roared the king.

‘My Master,’ said the queen, slipping from behind the Dragon Throne, ‘I put in a royal garment covered with the symbols of Earth and Sky. This I did with my own hand, and I cannot conceive how it has changed into what is there now.’

‘Wife, get out of my sight!’ cried the king. ‘Such a tale as that you cannot expect me to believe. Everything used in your apartments is of the finest. Such a cast-off as this old dish could not exist there.’ And turning to his officers, he said,’ Follow me with the box. I’m going to put something in myself and try again.’ The king went to the flower-garden behind the palace and picking a large peach he put it in the box, which was then carried out to the front of the palace and the guessing began again.

‘Disciple,’ whispered Tripitaka, ‘you must help me again.’

‘That’s all right,’ said Monkey, ‘I’ll go and have a look.’

He flew to the box and crept in as before. What he found there was thoroughly to his liking. He resumed his proper form, squatted in the box and ate up the peach with great relish, licking even the pouches in his cheeks quite clean. Then leaving the peach-stone, he changed back into a gnat and flying to Tripitaka, whispered in his ear, ‘Guess it is a peach-stone.’

‘Disciple,’ said Tripitaka, ‘don’t tease me. Last time, if I hadn’t spoken up quickly, I should in another minute have been seized and executed. This time I had certainly better guess that it is a treasure. You can’t call a peach-stone a treasure.’

‘Don’t be afraid,’ said Monkey. ‘Just guess and win.’

This time the Ram Strength Immortal insisted on guessing first, and at once said it was a peach.

‘It’s not a peach,’ said Tripitaka, ‘it’s only a peach-stone.’

‘How can it only be the stone ?’ roared the king. ‘I put in a peach myself only a moment ago. The Immortal guessed rightly.’

‘Perhaps your Majesty would not mind having the box opened before reaching a final decision,’ said Tripitaka.

The box was accordingly opened, and all that it contained was the stone, without a trace of skin or fruit. The king was astounded. ‘You’d better give up trying to compete with these people,’ he said, ‘and let them go. I put in a peach, and now there is only a stone. Someone must have eaten it. The truth is, I suspect, that spirits of some kind are secretly aiding them.’

‘They little know what a long record of peach-eating lies behind him,’ tittered Pigsy to Sandy.

At this moment the Tiger Strength Immortal reappeared, washed and combed. ‘Your Majesty,’ said he, ‘these Buddhists have the art of transforming lifeless objects. But if the box is brought again, you will see that they cannot transform human beings. If we put this acolyte of ours into the box, I guarantee that they will not be able to transform him.’ The acolyte was accordingly put into the box and the lid fastened down.

‘Now priest,’ said the king. ‘Here is a third test for you. Tell me what is inside the box.’

‘More guessing!’ groaned Tripitaka.

‘That’s all right,’ said Monkey, ‘I’ll go and have a look.’ On creeping into the box again, he shook himself and changed into the semblance of an old Taoist.

‘Master what lesson have you to teach me?’ asked the boy.

‘Those Buddhists saw you put into the box,’ said Monkey. ‘They will guess that a little Taoist is in the box, and we shall not win. Here’s an idea: I’ll shave your head and tell the Immortals to say there is a little Buddhist inside.’

‘I’ll do anything you like,’ said the boy, ‘provided it brings us victory. We can’t afford to go on being beaten again and again like this. We are rapidly losing our credit at Court.’

‘Quite true,’ said Monkey. ‘Come here, and when we’ve won, you shall have a handsome present.’ He took his cudgel, shook it, and changed it into a razor. Then flinging his arms round the boy’s neck, he said, ‘Now mind you don’t scream if it hurts, ducky!’

In a twinkling he had shaved the boy’s head and stuffed the hair behind the lining of the box. Then patting his shaven pate, he said, ‘Now child, you have got a priest’s head; but your clothes are all wrong. Take them off and I’ll put that right.’ The boy was wearing a ‘cranedown’ of onion-white colour, embroidered with the cloud-pattern and bordered with brocade. When he had taken it off, Monkey breathed upon it with magic breath and it became a brown straight-coat, which he made him put on. Then he plucked some of his hairs, which he changed into a wooden fish such as is carried by priests, and put it into the boy’s hand, saying, ‘Listen here, my disciple. If you hear them say “Taoist acolyte”, stay where you are. But if you hear anyone say “Buddhist”, raise the lid, beat with your wooden fish, and come out, reciting a Buddhist scripture.’

‘I can only say the Book of the Three Primordials, the Book of the Pole star, and so on,’ said the boy.

‘Don’t you know any prayers to Buddha?’ asked Monkey.

‘Anyone can say O-mi-to Fo,’
^*
said the boy.

‘That’s good enough,’ said Monkey. ‘It will save me the trouble of teaching you. Don’t forget what you’re to do. I’m off.’ And changing once more into a gnat and flying to Tripitaka’s ear, he said, ‘Guess that it’s a Buddhist.’

‘This time I feel confident of success,’ said Tripitaka.

‘Why are you so sure ?’ asked Monkey.

‘Because,’ said Tripitaka, ‘in the scriptures Buddha, the Law, and the Congregation are called the Three Treasures. So certainly a Buddhist is a treasure.’

At this moment the Tiger Strength Immortal stepped forward and said, ‘Your Majesty, this time it is a Taoist acolyte.’ Hearing these words the boy did not stir. But when Tripitaka said, ‘It is a Buddhist,’ echoed loudly by Pigsy, the boy pushed up the lid, beat with his wooden fish, and
calling upon the name of Buddha, scrambled out of the chest. All the spectators burst into loud applause, while the three Immortals maintained a gloomy silence.

‘There is no doubt about it,’ said the king, ‘that these Buddhists are being helped by unseen influences. A Taoist entered the box, and here is a Buddhist! An accomplice might have crept in and shaved the boy’s head. But he is dressed to match and is calling upon Buddha’s name. You had better let these people go!’

‘Your Majesty,’ said the Tiger Strength Immortal, ‘the proverb says: “The chess-player needs a worthy adversary, just as the carpenter needs good wood.” I own we should very much like to challenge these people to a competition in some tricks we learnt when we were young.’

‘What arts are these ?’ asked the king.

‘My head can be cut off and I can put it back in its place,’ said he. ‘The Second Immortal’s heart can be removed and he can make himself whole again. The Third Immortal can take a bath in a cauldron of boiling oil.’

The king was much astonished. ‘That all sounds to me like taking frightful risks,’ he said.

‘We can manage these things all right,’ said the Immortal, ‘and insist upon this final trial being made.’

‘Priests from China, the Immortals are unwilling to let you go until they have had a final competition with you in head-cutting, belly-ripping, and bathing in boiling oil,’ said the king.

On hearing this Monkey at once changed into his true form and laughed aloud. ‘That’s luck,’ he cried. ‘More business coming my way 1’

‘I don’t know why you should talk of business coming your way,’ said Pigsy. ‘I can’t think of three quicker ways to perdition.’

‘You don’t know all my tricks,’ said Monkey.

‘Brother,’ said Pigsy, ‘I am willing to credit you with all sorts of transferences and transformations, but this sort of thing is beyond you.’

‘Not at all,’ said Monkey. ‘Cut off my head, and I can still talk. Cut off my arms, and I can still strike. Cut off my legs,
and I can still walk. Rip out my heart, and I can mysteriously recover. I can bathe in boiling oil with no other result than that I come out cleaner than I went in.’

Sandy and Pigsy roared with laughter. Monkey then stepped forward and said, ‘Your Majesty, I am quite willing to have my head cut off.’

‘What gives you such confidence ?’ asked the king.

‘Well,’ said Monkey, ‘years ago a first-class Zen adept taught me the art of having one’s head cut off. I don’t know whether I can remember it or not; but I am quite willing to experiment.’

‘My dear little fellow,’ said the king, ‘you don’t know what you are talking about. Head-cutting is no matter for experiment. The head is the chief of the six repositories of the element
yang,
and if it is cut off death ensues.’

‘Your Majesty,’ said the Tiger Strength Immortal, ‘don’t discourage him. This is just the very way for us to get our revenge.’

A place of execution was accordingly laid out, and three thousand soldiers of the guard were drawn up in file. ‘My turn first!’ cried Monkey blithely, and was rushing off to the place of execution, when Tripitaka caught hold of him, saying, ‘Disciple, take care what you are doing. It looks over there as if they meant business.’

‘I’m not afraid,’ said Monkey. ‘Take your hand away and let me go.’ On arriving at the place of execution he was sei2ed by the executioner, bound with ropes, and led to the top of a small mound. At the word ‘Strike,’ there was a swishing sound and Monkey’s head fell upon the ground, where the executioner gave it a kick that sent it rolling, just like a melon, thirty or forty paces away. No blood came from the trunk, but a voice, coming from deep down inside cried ‘Head, come back!’ The Deer Strength Immortal, seeing that Monkey had some trick, recited a spell to summon the local deities, to whom he said: ‘Keep that head where it is, and your shrine shall be rebuilt as a great temple, while your clay images shall be replaced by statues of gold.’ The deities were compelled by the Immortal’s magic and did indeed stay Monkey’s head, and though he cried again,
‘Come here, head!’ the head remained rooted to the spot. But suddenly from Monkey’s trunk came the cry ‘Grow!’ and a new head shot up from inside him and replaced the old one. The executioner and the soldiers were thunderstruck, and the officer in charge of the proceedings rushed off to the king and announced that Monkey had grown a new head.

‘He’s cleverer than we thought,’ whispered Pigsy.

‘Well,’ said Sandy, ‘he’s known to have seventy-two transformations, so I suppose he has got seventy-two heads.’ At this point Monkey came running up to Tripitaka. ‘Dear disciple,’ said Tripitaka, ‘it must have hurt terribly.’