More Letters From a Nut (4 page)

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Authors: Ted L. Nancy

Tags: #Humor, #Form, #Essays

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Full text of the above letter to follow.

560 No. Moorpark Rd. #236

Thousand Oaks, CA 91360

Nov 3, 1997

Mail Box Rentals

DENTON MAIN POST OFFICE

101 E McKinney St.

Denton, TX 76201

Dear Post Office,

I will be traveling to Denton and staying for 3,922 days. Every day I will have a stuffed potato sent to me. Early in the week I will have a bacon and cheese stuffed potato sent to me. Then later in the week I will have a guacamole stuffed potato sent. Some of these potatoes may smell. Especially if I don’t pick up my mail for a few months. I will deodorize the box.

I look forward to renting a post office box from you. Do you have refrigerated post office boxes? Please let me know what I need to rent this box for the duration of my stay.

Sincerely,

Ted L. Nancy

Full text of the above letter to follow.

November 18, 1997

Ted L Nancy

560 N Moorpark Rd #236

Thousand Oaks CA 91360

Dear Mr. Nancy:

This is in response to your recent letter concerning a post office box rental.

Enclosed please find PS Form 1093, Application for Post Office Box or Caller Service to be completed and returned to our office. The box rent fee is $20.00 for six (6) months or $40.00 for one (1) year.

If you have any questions or need further information, please contact our office at (940) 387-8555.

Sincerely,

Buck Ray

Officer-In-Charge

U. S. Postal Service

101 E. McKinney St

Denton, TX 76201-9998

:hm

enclosure

Full text of the above letter to follow.

560 North Moorpark Road
#236
Thousand Oaks, CA 91360

Reservations

L’ORANGERIE RESTAURANT

903 N. La Cienega Blvd.

Hollywood, CA 90069

Aug 27, 1996

Dear Reservations:

I wish to dine in your restaurant on the evening of Sunday, Sept 29, 1996. I have a situation which I must address.

I travel with my own waiter. I have found this waiter to be the best for me in serving me my food. He has been with me for many years. He brings me my soup hot and my salad with just the right amount of dressing. (Vinaigrette).

My waiter will not interfere with your staff. He will work with them to give me the best service available. I will leave my waiter a gratuity.

I have heard L’Orangerie goes out of it’s way for it’s diners. Especially those that bring their own waiter.

My party will be a large one and having my own waiter will insure that service is impeccable. Please contact me so that we may make arrangements for the Sept 29, 1996 dinner. Thank you very much. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

Ted L. Nancy

Full text of the above letter to follow.

September 17, 1996

Mr. Ted Nancy

560 North Moorpark Road, #236

Thousand Oaks, CA 91360

Dear Mr. Nancy:

We are in receipt of your letter regarding a reservation at L’Orangerie and also requesting to bring your own waiter.

We need more information about the reservation and would appreciate if you could call me personally so we could do the necessary arrangements and requests for your party

I am always at the restaurant anytime from 2:00 p.m. You could also leave any message to my secretary, Josephine.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Christian Vanneque

General Manager

903 North La Cienega Boulevard • Los Angeles, California 90069 • (310) 652-9770 • FAX 310-652-8870

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