More Than Fashion (26 page)

Carla had texted me and called me, too. She was worried about me and sad I was no longer on the show. No mention of Gavin, though, which only made me wonder even more how he was doing. Maybe I could send him a message through her, to let him know that I did care, if nothing else. But I couldn’t figure out what to say.

I fell asleep with my phone in my hand. I woke in the morning when it started buzzing near my head, just like the morning of my first day on the show. Except this time, I wasn’t hungover—just heartbroken.

The number was unfamiliar. “Hello?” I asked.

“Julie? This is Giselle Roberts. Is this a good time to talk?”

I sat up so fast it made my head spin. “Yes. Giselle. Hi.”

“I spoke with Eva Pereira the other day, and she told me about your…problems with Lola Baudin. I went through the footage from all of the runway shows yesterday, and I have to agree with her. It does seem like Lola might have manipulated the results against you. We’d like to offer you a second chance on the show.”

I was so stunned I couldn’t speak. I just held the phone to my ear with my mouth open.

“Julie?” Giselle asked. “Are you still there?”

“Yes, I’m here. Sorry.” I swallowed hard. “What do you mean by a second chance?”

“You’ll be competing in the finale with the other designers. At New York Fashion Week. How does that sound?”

I covered the phone and screamed, doing a quick dance in my underwear on the bed. A second chance on the show
and
with Gavin. It was almost too good to be true. After a second, I composed myself and said, “That sounds amazing. Thank you so much.”

“Good. Can you come in today? Say, in an hour?”

I scrambled off the bed and began yanking clothes out of my suitcase. “I’ll be there.”

***

Giselle walked with me through the lobby of the
Behind The Seams
building. She was a beautiful older black woman who still knew how to rock her curves. Today she wore a sharp pantsuit in red and black, radiating confidence and power with every step.

“I’m glad you decided to come back,” she said. “Once I heard about what Lola had done and how she’d been biased against you from the beginning, I knew I had to make it right somehow.”

“Thanks for giving me a second chance.”

“Lola will still be one of the judges for the finale though. There’s nothing I can do about that.”

“I understand.”

“I confess there’s another reason we brought you back, too. The other producers and I all felt the show was missing a certain spark without you. In particular, without your relationship with Gavin. It’s going to be one of the main focuses of this season once it’s aired, and we think the viewers would like to see it come to more of a conclusion.”

I took a deep breath, trying to figure out what I would say to Gavin when I saw him. We were competitors again, but maybe we could find a way to get past that somehow. “I’d like that, too.”

She nodded and led me into the elevator. “For the finale, you have to design a collection of eight looks with the theme of the four elements: earth, air, fire, and water. Two looks per element. You have three thousand dollars and five days to do it. Unfortunately, you’ll have one less day than the other designers, but we’re willing to let you work late into the night so you can catch up. Also, all the finalists have the option to use one of the previous contestants as an assistant. You have a choice of Molly or Derrick. Let me know which one you would prefer to work with, and we’ll get them here in a few hours.”

“I’ll go with Molly.” Easy choice. “I assume Dawn chose Trina, and Jeff must have picked Nika. Who did Gavin choose? Tom?”

“Gavin declined an assistant.”

“He
declined
?”

“He asked for you originally, but we couldn’t get a hold of you yesterday morning. Then he changed his mind and said he didn’t need any help, that he could do it on his own.” She shook her head. “It’s a pity, too, because many of us thought he had a strong chance of winning. But now I doubt he’ll be able to finish his collection in time. Or if he does, I’d be surprised if it was up to the quality of the others. I suppose that’s good for you though. It increases your chances of winning.”

That idiot. With Giselle at my side, I walked down the hallway to the design room, completely furious with Gavin. He was going to let his stupid, stubborn pride get in the way of him winning. I told myself I shouldn’t care, that it wasn’t my problem, and that he was my competition. I reminded myself I had a chance to win and if he was going to shoot himself in the foot, so be it.

But then I spotted him through the doorway. Around him, the other designers worked in pairs, yet he stood alone. He was bent over his workstation, his chestnut hair falling into his eyes, and a light sheen of sweat dotted his forehead. He was using the scissors, but he finished cutting and threw them down on the table, then brushed his hair back with a quick, angry swipe. He was still as handsome as ever, but he also looked…lost. Tired. Like he had already given up.

Something flared up in me, and it wasn’t only anger. I couldn’t let him give up. I wouldn’t let him throw this away. He’d supported me, believed in me, and taught me so much in the short time I’d known him.

I turned to Giselle and told her my idea. I didn’t want to compete with Gavin anymore. Not when I knew what he was capable of. Not when I knew he could win.

It was my turn to help him, even if he didn’t want to accept it.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

I 
stepped into the design room and moved to Gavin’s side. He straightened and turned to face me, but his expression was guarded. “I heard a rumor they invited you back.”

“They did.”

He gave a short nod. “That’s good. You deserve to be in the finale.”

I gave a noncommittal, “Hmm,” and inspected his dress form. He had draped some gray fabric across it, but I couldn’t make out any real shape to it.

“Checking out your competition?” he asked, crossing his arms. “There’s not much to see yet.”

“No, there really isn’t. You’re way behind the other designers. Why did you turn down an assistant?”

“Because I don’t need one. I can do this on my own. Other people would just get in my way.” He brushed past me, heading toward the sewing room. “But you should worry more about your own collection than mine.”

Oh, hell no, he was not walking away from me, not now. I stomped after him, the other designers staring at us with wide eyes as we left the room.

I stopped in front of Gavin and planted my hands on my hips. “You stupid, cocky, stubborn man. Why can’t you for once accept that you can’t do everything on your own? That you do sometimes need help?”

“I don’t need anyone’s help. And you were right. Getting close to other people only distracted me. I won’t let that happen—not now, not at the end.”

“That’s a bullshit excuse and you know it. I’m not moving until you explain why you’re so set on doing this on your own.”

He rubbed the back of his hand, the one with his rose tattoo. “Julie, I have to do this by myself. If I don’t win this on my own, it won’t be the same.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I started doing all this for my sister, to honor her memory. She has to be the one guiding my hand, not anyone else. I have to win this for her.”

I rolled my eyes. “As you would say, what a load of rubbish.”

“Forget it. I don’t expect you to understand.” He tried to brush past me, but I wouldn’t budge.

“Oh, I understand you’re being a complete idiot. Gavin, your sister would want you to win, but not for her. She’d want you to win because you
deserve
to win. And if that means accepting help from someone, I’m sure she would be okay with that.”

He turned his head away and wouldn’t look at me. Fine. I’d have to convince him some other way.

“Last night I went to the hotel bar and picked up another guy,” I blurted out. Harsh, but I knew it would make him listen.

There was a flash of pain in his eyes, and then it was gone. His jaw clenched. “Why are you telling me this?”

“I thought I could get you out of my system, that I could go back to my old ways of love ‘em and leave ‘em, but it didn’t work. I couldn’t do it.” I had to steady myself before I could go on. The confession was too big, yet bursting out of me. “I don’t want to take any other guys back to my room. I don’t want to be with anyone else. I only want you.”

“Julie…” He sighed and dragged a hand through his hair. “This really isn’t the time. After the show we can talk, but at the moment we’re still competitors. You were right about that all along. I can’t let anything get in my way, and neither can you. You should get started on your collection.”

“I’m not doing a collection.”

“Then…what are you doing here?”

“I asked them if I could be your assistant instead.”

He stared at me for an eternity. “They offered you a chance to make a collection, to compete in the finale, to show at New York Fashion Week…and you said
no
?”

I swallowed hard. When he said it like that—holy shit. But…no. I stood by my decision. “The judges were right when they eliminated me. This is what I want to do with my life, but I need more experience. I need to figure out who I am as a designer. I’m not there yet, but I will be someday.”

He shook his head. “The judges were wrong. You’re just as talented as any of us in the final three. And Giselle must agree with me or she wouldn’t have invited you back.”

I smiled up at him. “You’ve always believed in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself. But I don’t want to compete against you anymore. I want you to win.”

“No, I can’t let you do this. I can’t let you give up your chance at winning for me.”

“I’m not giving anything up. I’m
choosing
to help you. This is what I want. Please, let me do this.”

He looked like he would argue some more, but I took his hands and moved closer. I took a deep breath and said the words I’d never, ever said to a guy before.

“Gavin, I love you.”

His eyes searched mine, like he couldn’t believe it. I stared back at him, letting him see the truth in my face. Then he swept me into his arms and kissed me until I was dizzy, until I forgot my own name and everything else in the world except him.

“Say it again,” he whispered against my lips.

“I love you.”

He kissed me again, taking my breath away a second time. “I love you, too.”

“I know. Now are you going to let me be your assistant? ‘Cause we really need to get to work.”

He gave a dramatic sigh. “Yes, you can be my assistant.”

“See? That wasn’t so hard.”

“I can never say no to you.”

“And that’s the way I like it.”

“Now tell me about this other guy you picked up in that hotel. How far did it go? Do I need to hunt him down and stab him with some of these pins?”

“No violence required. I didn’t even kiss him. He was hot, too. I mean, not as hot as you, but I totally would have done him before you came along and ruined me for other guys. You asshole.”

“It’s tough to feel sorry for that.” He pulled me in for another kiss that made me weak in the knees and warm all over. I tangled my fingers in his hair, melting into his embrace, my heart nearly bursting with happiness. If this was what it was like to be in love, I could definitely get used to it.

We walked back into the design room, and I gave Dawn and Trina quick hugs, while Jeff and Nika shot me nasty looks. I rejoined Gavin on his side of the room, and he showed me what he’d made so far.

“Jeff and Dawn are doing the obvious thing by using the colors associated with the four elements, but I want to use the shape and texture and feel of the elements with only a hint of the colors. So for earth, I want to use metal. For water, I’m going to create a dress that looks like rain. For air, I’m making a dress inspired by a tornado, and for fire, one inspired by flames. I still have quite a lot to do, of course.”

“Wow.” I touched the chainmail dress he’d been working on. “This is going to be amazing. But it will be tough to finish all of this in time. This is…ambitious.”

“True, but I don’t want to be safe. This is the finale, after all.”

“Good thing you have me now.” I gave him a quick kiss, then picked up his sketch pad and flipped through it. “So what would you like me to do?”

He hesitated, glancing at his fabric, and I could tell it was tough for him to delegate something to me. “I started a corset for one of the earth looks, but turns out I have no idea how to make one.”

“Perfect. I’ll work on it while you finish the chainmail pieces.”

He nodded and moved to one of the dress forms, but then turned back to me. “And…for the other fire look, perhaps you could do that ombré technique you did on your wedding gown?”

“Are you sure?” I asked.

He drew in a long breath. “You were right. I can’t do everything on my own. And I want you to be represented in this collection, too.” He touched the rose on the back of his hand and gave me a faint smile. “My sister would like that.”

I stood up on my tiptoes to kiss him. “She would be so proud of you.”

“I hope so.”

While he got to work, I grabbed my sketch pad, ripped off a sheet of paper, and wrote
I love you
across it. I folded it up and slipped it in the back pocket of his pants as I walked by. I wanted him to know I meant it, both on and off camera.

When I got back, he had left me one final note, wrapped around the bracelet he’d made me.
I love you, too.
I slipped the bracelet around my wrist and smiled, running my fingers over the metal.

***

Eight looks in five days was almost impossible. Even with two of us.

We worked our asses off. There was very little time for romance beyond a few stolen kisses and quick touches. The Loft was full of people again, and when we were in the design room, we were busy working on his collection. He guided me, explaining his vision, teaching me new techniques so I could help him create his collection exactly the way he wanted. I learned more about design in the few days working with him than I had in years. It almost felt like an apprenticeship. He’d gone to design school and had worked for some of the biggest designers in London, and now I was getting some of that knowledge and experience firsthand. It made me realize how much more I still had to learn.