More Than Music (25 page)

“You’re so cool,” the first girl said. “I freaking love Villain Complex.”

“Me too,” the guy with them said. “Your band is killer.”

“Can we get a photo with you?” a third girl asked.

“Um, yeah. Of course.” That was not what I’d been expecting to hear. I wasn’t anyone special, and these people acted like I was a celebrity. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. But Jared was always friendly with the fans, and I needed to follow his example even if the whole experience was really strange.

They each gave their phones to Sean to have him take photos of us. I hoped he wasn’t upset that they didn’t seem to have a clue who he was. I posed with the group, smiling for a dozen shots, and then signed random pieces of paper for them. I’d never signed anything for someone in my life before that wasn’t a legal document. It was amazing to meet real live fans of our band, but it was also a bit unsettling how they all acted like they knew me when they really didn’t.

After they left, Sean said, “Wow, you’re really famous now.”

“I guess?” I shook my head. “That’s never happened before.”

“Clearly I need to cause some sort of drama, too, to bring in more fans.”

I laughed. “If you do, make sure you never Google yourself. You can never unsee those things.”

O
n the day of the live show, my nerves were so frayed I was barely hanging together. I hadn’t been this anxious about a performance since the Battle of the Bands round. We’d practiced “Locked Out of Heaven” as much as we physically could, but it was still not as smooth as we’d like. We were at a disadvantage from the other bands who’d had all week with their songs, and even if we nailed it tonight, I didn’t know how many people would vote for us after the photo disaster. Clearly, we still had fans who liked our band, but would they be enough?

Tonight we’d gone for a classier look to shake things up from our normal hard rock image. I wore a strapless, black-and-white sheath dress, while the guys all wore black suits, thin ties, and white shirts. Each of them looked striking, from Kyle with his black hair slicked back and tattoos peeking above his collar, to Hector with his dark curls and broad shoulders filling out his jacket. And then there was Jared, looking almost—but not quite—a gentleman tonight. His blue eyes had a touch of dark liner, his shirt was open just enough to give a glimpse of his neck, and his tailored pants showed off every perfect angle. He looked amazing in a suit, and it killed me that I couldn’t have him.

Our Loaded River song with Dan was the first performance of the night. Our mentor played bass, and though he normally sang “Nothing Breaks Me,” he only chimed in on the chorus and let Jared take over. Without an instrument, Jared was free to flirt with the crowd and make love to the mic, and it took all my effort to not throw my guitar down and drag him off stage so we could be alone together. I knew what Jared looked like under those clothes, how his touch felt on my bare skin, how it sounded to hear him moan my name. Being so close and yet so far from him was pure torture.

I focused on the audience instead, and as they sang along with each word, I realized how lucky I was to be there, standing on stage with Dan Dorian of Loaded River. No matter what happened tonight, playing beside one of my idols would always be one of the greatest moments of my life.

After the song, Dan returned to his seat in front of the stage with the other mentors. We all glowed with sweat and excitement, like some of the dark clouds hanging over us had dissipated. Maybe, just maybe, we’d make it into the next round.

The guys went to the lounge to relax before our next song, but I needed to cool off away from Jared. On stage, The Static Klingons performed their song for the “Tainted Love” theme of the night, Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know.” Sean’s vocals and the band’s faster tempo made it a bit more upbeat than the original version, but I liked it. I cheered for them with the audience and waited for Sean backstage when they finished.

“There you are!” he said. We moved out of the way of the roadies setting up for the next band, and a camera crew followed us. Never a private moment, not this close to the end of the show.

“That was so good,” I said. “You’re definitely getting into the finals.”

“Thanks, Maddie.”

He placed his hands on my shoulders and kissed me, right in front of the camera. For a second I could only stand there, so shocked by his soft lips on mine, while my mind screamed that it was all wrong.

I pushed him away and choked out, “What are you
doing
?”

He shot a glance at the camera crew. “What? I thought we had a great time last night.”

Wait—had I not been clear that I only wanted to be friends? I replayed our conversation in my head, and yeah, I’d been pretty damn clear. “You said it wasn’t a date! You said you have a girlfriend!”

“I do, but…” His voice dropped, like he hoped the cameras wouldn’t catch his words. “I thought if I kissed you I might get some extra attention for my band, get a few more votes, you know? And maybe make my girlfriend back home jealous at the same time. She, uh, didn’t really approve of me going on the show.”

“So you were
using
me? I can’t believe you!” If I had something in my hands, I’d have thrown it at him. Maybe I could find something. A glass of water. One of my shoes. His guitar.

He ruffled his sandy hair, looking embarrassed. “I guess I thought you’d be okay with it.”

“Why would you think that? Because of what everyone is saying about me?” Did he think I was a slut, too? Forget throwing something, now I wanted to punch him in the face.

“No! I don’t know. Gah, I’m really sorry.”

I shook my head and walked away without another word. Jared had been right about Sean all along. Even if the specifics had been wrong, Sean did have ulterior motives for spending time with me. Yes, technically I’d been using Sean, too, but he’d crossed the line by kissing me when I’d said I wasn’t interested. And even worse, he’d made me the other woman against my will, just like my mom had been. If people thought I was a slut before, I couldn’t imagine what they would call me now.

Jared stared at me from the other side of the revolving stage, where he must have seen everything. He disappeared into the crew unloading gear for the next performance, and I sprinted after him.

“Jared, stop!”

He halted, fists clenched at his side, and I caught up to him. His face was a blank mask, but pain flickered through the eyes I knew so well. I couldn’t stand to see him like this, but there were too many people around to talk safely. I took his elbow and led him through the back of the theater to the out-of-the-way women’s bathroom no one used, where I’d had my glasses stolen. We slipped inside, and I checked under the stalls to make sure they were empty and then locked the door.

Jared leaned over the sink, his head dipped down as he stared into the mirror. Under the dim fluorescent lights, he looked like a black-and-white photo—dark hair and smoldering eyes, white shirt and fair skin, black jacket and tie. I wished he would say something. I smoothed my hands down my dress to stop myself from reaching for him, fighting the invisible tether pulling me to him at all times.

“He kissed me against my will, I swear,” I finally said to break the silence. “We went out last night, but I told him from the beginning it wasn’t a date. Nothing happened.”

He closed his eyes and drew a long breath but still didn’t answer me, and a flicker of frustration made me continue.

“I don’t know why I’m even explaining this to you. You’re the one who wanted to cool things off until the show ended.
You
told me to go out with him.
You
flirt with other girls every single day. You have no right to be upset!”

He spun around to face me. “What do you want me to say, Maddie? That hearing you went out together makes me want to strangle him? That it nearly killed me to watch him kiss you? That every time I see you, I want to fuck you until you forget all other guys?” He spread his arms wide. “There, are you happy now?”

The passion behind his words nearly undid me. I slipped my fingers around his black tie to pull him to me. “Yes, that’s exactly what I wanted to hear.”

Our mouths and bodies crashed together, and after being denied Jared for days, his kiss started a riot within me. I dragged my teeth along his bottom lip and scraped them across his neck, making him gasp. His fingers tightened in my hair, tugging my head back so he could return the favor. The other night we’d taken our time together, discovering and savoring each other’s bodies, but not now. We only had a few stolen minutes before we had to perform again, and our kisses had a frenzied, reckless edge, two addicts desperate for their next hit after going through days of withdrawal.

I gripped the lapel of his suit and searched his eyes. “You said we should take a break.”

“You know we have to,” he said, before pressing his mouth to mine again.

“Then why are you kissing me?”

“Because I can’t stop myself.”

He bowed his head to show me, tasting the curve of my neck and my bare shoulders. I arched my back, and he flicked his tongue between my cleavage, darting inside the top of my dress. When I moaned, his lips brushed against my nipples, already straining through the thin fabric. There was too much clothing between us, but we didn’t have time to remove them. We shouldn’t even be doing this here, in the middle of a show, when so much was on the line, when the producers and everyone else were only a door away. But we couldn’t stop ourselves either.

His hands slid under my dress and along my thighs. I reached for the front of his pants to free the top button, urging him on without words. With one quick movement, he lifted me onto the bathroom counter, putting me at exactly the right height. My knees parted to straddle his hips, and I drew him closer, fitting him against my body. He bent down to drag my panties off me and placed a rough kiss on the curve of each knee. I gasped and tangled my fingers in his hair while his lips burned higher up my legs, along the inside of my thighs. He pushed my dress up to my hips, spreading me wider, kissing me everywhere except where I needed him most.

Only when I whimpered his name did he finally press his mouth to my core. He teased and licked and sucked every inch of me, driving me crazy, darting his tongue inside me. His mouth devoured me, his expert strokes making my entire body weak, and I threw my head back and planted my hands on the counter to steady myself. It was too good, the pleasure too intense, but his strong hands held me in place so I couldn’t move away. I strained toward him, never wanting it to end, and he brought me right to the brink. But then he pulled back, leaving my body a spark about to burst into flames.

“Jared, please.” I was so painfully close. He couldn’t leave me like this.

He moved up my body again, mouth nuzzling against my neck, hands sliding along my waist. A condom wrapper crinkled, and then I felt him, hard and smooth against my sensitive skin. With one smooth thrust, he was inside me, and I groaned, digging my fingernails into him. As he drove into me, I wrapped my legs around him, my bare skin brushing against the back of his pants. I yanked open the collar of his shirt, needing more of his skin on mine, burying my face in his chest to breathe him in. No matter how close we were, I could never get enough of him.

He thrust in and out at a relentless, feral pace, like he was claiming me as his own. I was already so close, but he shifted angles to move deeper, making me cry out and completely lose control. I clenched around him as the orgasm ripped through me, but he didn’t let up, pounding harder and faster, making the ripples of pleasure continue on and on. He gripped me tighter and moaned my name into my hair and then joined me in oblivion.

For a few minutes, we could only hang on to each other, hot and wet and shaking from the aftermath of our frenzy. When we could move again, he kissed me tenderly, stroking my cheek with his thumb.

“I missed you,” he whispered.

I’d missed him too, so much. I sighed and pressed my forehead against his. “I don’t want to go back out there.”

“I know. But we have to.”

Once we left this room, we’d have to turn off our feelings for each other again, put on our stage personalities and continue on like nothing had happened tonight. People were probably already wondering where we were, and our next performance was the most important one so far. As much as I wanted to stay with him, the charade had to continue.

I slid to the floor, and in silence, we fixed our clothes. We had another song to perform.