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Authors: William Nicholson

Motherland (45 page)

BOOK: Motherland
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Larry’s father thinks the world of her. His colleagues at head office are all half in love with her. Larry is universally said to be a lucky man. But Larry himself struggles with darker feelings.

He can’t blame Geraldine, and yet he does. He knows that the physical side of love is not the most important, but he can’t stop regretting it. He tells himself that this is his lower nature, his animal nature, and that he should rise above it. He reminds himself of all the priests of the Church, and the monks at Downside, who have taken vows of chastity the better to serve God. His mind admires them and wishes to emulate them, but his body aches with unsatisfied desire.

He can’t blame Geraldine, and yet he does. Every time he’s told how lucky he is to have such a perfect wife he flinches, stung by guilt that he doesn’t appreciate her more. But what can he do? Somewhere buried deep within him, beyond the reach of faith or reason, lies the stubborn belief that she could love him better, with her body as well as her soul, but does not choose to. The matter appears to be closed as far as she’s concerned.

‘Let’s not talk about it, darling. It makes me so miserable. We just have to be brave.’

The worst of it for Larry is that for all her concern for him, he doesn’t believe she knows the price he has to pay. The few times they’ve talked about his ‘sacrifice’ it’s always been in terms of the children they’ll never have. Perhaps she doesn’t mention the pleasures of sex because she’s shy of the words she’d have to use. But what if she’s never known or even guessed at such pleasures? How could she consider it a significant loss? Of course she will have heard that men keep mistresses and frequent houses of ill repute, but men have other pursuits that aren’t shared by women. They play cricket and smoke cigars. A man may not wish to give up smoking, but if his wife’s health requires that he do so, he’ll surely surrender the modestly pleasurable habit with a good grace.

If this is so, if Geraldine is unaware of the strain she subjects him to, then that makes her all the more innocent and deserving of his love. But at the same time, in that deep secret place within him, it adds to the growing store of his anger. This anger frightens him, and shames him. The sweeter she is to him, the more he punishes himself for his ingratitude and his selfishness. The more he chastises himself, the more he longs to chastise her. And so, swept by fantasies of violence, he begins to fear himself.

He remembers Ed in the dark chapel at Edenfield shouting at him, ‘Sex is a monster, Larry!’ He remembers Nell, naked in his arms, saying, ‘If you fuck me will God punish you, Lawrence?’ He remembers the electric thrill of hearing her say the word
fuck
. He had no fear then of God’s punishment, he knows sex is part of God’s creation. But perhaps he’s being punished now.

The longing is too strong. It must be controlled. All men
know this instinctively, that if released to do as they wish they would run amok, they would
fuck
and
fuck
and
fuck
. There’s little love in this, only appetite. It’s the dark side of love, perhaps it’s not love at all, perhaps it’s the absence of love. Which means that Geraldine is right, sex isn’t what really matters. The good life can be lived without it.

So why does this capitulation feel like weakness? Because it does. Larry has felt the tug all his life of opposing forces: he wishes to be good, and he wishes to be a man. He wishes, in short, to be a good man. But when he’s good he senses that he’s weak, and a true man is strong. He has known himself to be weak countless times, most of all on the beach at Dieppe. He has been a good man just the once, in the midst of the Indian partition riots, when he held his wounded friend in his arms. In his exultation and relief he went, blood still wet on his clothing, to offer his newly purified love to a woman who wanted his goodness, but not his manhood.

When he thinks this way it half drives him mad. He wants to stamp and shout out, I’m a man! How does a man behave under these circumstances? He demands his rights. He satisfies his desires.

You think she’d like it if I raped her?

Ed’s voice echoing out of the past.

No, she wouldn’t like it. Nor would I. And anyway I could never do it. I’m too good, and too weak.

*

He begins to spend longer hours in the office. He studies the history of the business, and tries to understand the key factors that contribute to the good years and the bad years. Like all newcomers to a long-established business, he believes he can see
better ways of ordering matters. He dreams of the day he’ll be in charge of the company, and able to lead it into a new era of security and prosperity.

He talks over his ideas with his father.

‘What’s the biggest problem we have in the banana business? Uncertainty of supply. We have years when we just don’t have the fruit to fill the ships, but we still have to maintain the fleet. These are the fixed costs that kill us. We
must
maintain the supply. So it all comes down to the producers on the ground. If they keep ahead of disease, if they replant rapidly after hurricane damage, if they manage the picking and packing as efficiently as possible, if they care as much as we do about the quality of the fruit – well, that’s going to deliver a more reliable stream, isn’t it? So it makes sound economic sense to get them to regard the company as
their
company. How do we do that? How do we make them understand we’re all working together for the same goal? We extend to Jamaica and the Canaries and the Cameroons the benefits and the bonuses we give our people here at home.’

William Cornford nods his head in his slow way, that does not signify agreement.

‘What you suggest costs money.’

‘Of course. But my way, the company makes
more
money. If everyone on the payroll wants the company to succeed, then they work harder, they’re more vigilant, they use their local knowledge and ingenuity to do the job better, they don’t get into labour disputes, they don’t fall sick, they see the fruits of their labour, and we all make money!’

His father nods his head again and frowns and sighs.

‘We are a subsidiary of a larger company,’ he says.

He goes to his shelves and takes down a book called
The Banana Empire
, by Kepner and Soothill, and opens it to a page he has previously marked.

‘This is an investigation into the United Fruit Company,’ he says. ‘It was written and published before the war, in ’35. In all fairness to the company I should tell you that the authors have been accused of making Communist propaganda.’

He reads from the book in his slow grave voice.

‘This powerful company has throttled competitors, dominated governments, manacled railroads, ruined planters, choked cooperatives, domineered over workers, fought organised labour, and exploited consumers. Such usage of power by a corporation of a strongly industrialised nation in relatively weak foreign countries constitutes a variety of economic imperialism.’

Larry hears this in silence.

‘I should also add,’ says his father, ‘that such practices have not been the norm in Jamaica, which has the great benefit of being part of the British empire.’

Larry gives a short laugh.

‘One empire pitched against another.’

He reaches out one hand for the book.

‘I’d better read it, hadn’t I?’

‘You’ll only find one mention of our company, on page 181. I know it by heart. They write, “Elders & Fyffes from then on” – that is, from 1902 – “became the European arm of the United Fruit Company.” That is not so.’ His voice has risen. His face is flushed. ‘Fyffes is an independent company, in spirit if not in fact.’

Larry stays up late that night reading the book. The next morning he speaks to his father over breakfast.

‘I believe it even more strongly now. There is a better way of doing business.’

He has the book before him. He reads out his own chosen extract.

‘If the United Fruit Company had been more concerned with the improvement of human relations and social welfare than with the mere obtaining of profits, it could have rendered extraordinary service to the Americas.’

William Cornford gazes at his son across his copy of
The Times
and says nothing.

‘Just give me a chance to prove it,’ says Larry.

‘What is it you want to prove, darling?’ says Geraldine, joining them at the breakfast table.

‘That we can run our business for the benefit of all,’ says Larry.

‘All who?’ says Geraldine.

Larry is watching his father. He answers Geraldine impatiently.

‘All the employees.’

‘But of course the business benefits the employees,’ says Geraldine. ‘It gives them jobs.’

‘What do you say, Dad?’

‘I’ll tell you what I think you should do,’ says his father. ‘I think you should take a trip to Jamaica.’

Larry leaps up in excitement and strides up and down the breakfast room.

‘The very idea I had myself! Of course I must go to Jamaica. I must see for myself. I must learn everything for myself. Of course I must go to Jamaica. I’m convinced we can produce and sell double the tonnage we’re bringing in.’

‘I’ve no doubt you’re right,’ says his father, smiling.

‘When would you go?’ says Geraldine. ‘How long would you be gone?’

‘You don’t mind, do you?’ Larry turns to her, his face bright at the new prospect.

‘Of course not,’ says Geraldine with composure. ‘You are the breadwinner. Your work must always come first.’

*

The day before he sails, Larry receives a letter addressed to him as Lawrence Cornford, care of Fyffes head office. It’s been opened by the office staff, who must have thought it was intended for his long-dead grandfather. The letter is from Nell.

Darling, we’re going to live in France, but I can’t leave without writing to you. I expect you hate me but you shouldn’t, if you had given me the chance I’d have explained. Darling I did it for you, and I was right, wasn’t I? You were never sure about me. I told that story to see what you’d say and I was watching your face and saw how you were frightened and then a gentleman doing his duty so that was that really. I expect you were hurt and angry etc etc but I’m quite sure you’ve got over all that now and forgiven me. Tony Armitage and I are married, I expect you heard, I don’t really know why he’s such a pig most of the time and all this fame has gone to his head. He stamps and rants and calls everyone fools and how he can’t bear fakes and posers, so we’re going to live in France though I don’t see why there shouldn’t be fakes and posers in France too. I do love you darling and you mustn’t mind about the story but come and visit us in France, it’s called Houlgate just down the coast from Deauville and I’m going to be so bored I expect I’ll kill
him. He won’t care, all he cares about is himself and his painting which is actually quite restful for me. If I don’t kill him we should get on all right. Remember we said we’d be friends so we have to go on being friends it’s much better than being lovers. The other thing makes men so cross really I’m bored with it. Please write to me at the address above and tell me you forgive me.

34

After a day of driving down long straight empty roads, Ed reaches Narbonne, in the region of France called the Aude. He puts up in a modest inn, and eats a solitary supper of veal, accompanied by the excellent local red wine. Then as is his habit he questions his host about the vineyards of the region. He learns that the best wines are made in the land to the south, in the corner between the Pyrenees and the sea. He is advised to seek out the domaines round the village of Treilles; in particular the domaine de Montgaillard.

The next morning he drives south. On either side of the dusty white road lie shallow valleys planted with vines, sheltered by belts of almond and cypress trees. Low hills rise up beyond, the pink land studded with the grey of olive trees. Umbrella pines grow on the ridges, slanting under the pressure of the prevailing wind. The houses he passes are pink as the land, made of the same stone. He sees no one. The clusters of houses and barns have an air of abandonment.

He reaches a village at last, and stops by the church. A small bar seems to be open. In its dark interior, he finds a somnolent woman, who gives him directions to the chateau.

He follows the road, which becomes a rising track. He notes vines in their neat rows on either side. Then there at the end of the track appears the chateau, which is in fact little more than a fortified farm.

The house is big and square, with a single tower attached as if by some afterthought at one end. Two very old cars are pulled up in front of the wide door, which stands open. Ed knocks, and getting no response, calls out. After a while a girl of about ten appears, and stares at him, and runs away. After another while Ed hears a slow heavy tread, and a large elderly man presents himself. He has grey hair and grey skin that falls down his face in folds. He stoops, as tall men often do, which gives him a sad and defeated air.

Ed introduces himself and explains his business. His host, whose name is Monsieur de Nabant, is astonished to learn that an Englishman has arrived with a view to buying his wine. He keeps shaking his head, and rubbing at his cheeks. Then he invites his visitor into his house.

The interior seems to consist of one very large room, where all the affairs of the family are conducted at once. The shutters are closed against the heat, so the room is cool and dark. In the beamed and shadowy spaces Ed makes out a daybed, on which reclines an elderly lady; a kitchen table, round which sit several children; an immense fireplace, holding an iron cooking range; a grand piano; and some item of agricultural machinery on the floor, in the process of being mended by a young man. Assorted dogs gather round him to sniff at his legs.

Ed is shown to an upholstered chair in the part of the hall that might be called the sitting room. In a matching chair facing him there sits a second elderly man, small as a dwarf, with an
entirely bald head, a smooth almost blank face, and remarkable grey curled moustaches. This person, who is not introduced to Ed, gazes at him with unsmiling intensity; exactly as if he supposes himself to be invisible.

BOOK: Motherland
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