Mr. Chickee's Messy Mission (6 page)

Russell hoped he was still asleep and this was some weird slow-motion dream.

“Wow!” Russell thought. “I haven't seen anything this strange since the night after I set the record for cheese and onion enchiladas at Los Aztecos!”

He noticed how Rodney's ears were pressed against the sides of his head as he sped at the wall. He noticed how the dog's tail was spinning like a propeller, making him go incredibly fast. He noticed how, when his friend was just a few inches away from certain death, Rodney Rodent closed his eyes and opened his mouth again and said the first thing he'd said since they'd picked him up at the dog pound. Instead of the little whining sounds he'd always made before, the dog said in English, as clear as anything, “Bow-wow-wow-yippee-yo-yippee-yay!”

All of this was very strange, even for downtown Flint, but what happened next made Russell think he'd gone from being in a dream to being in a nightmare! The winking gnome, the one that looked the meanest, came to life! He stopped winking and both of his eyes and his mouth flew open in surprise!

Just as Rodney was about to smash into the wall where the gnome was painted, the creature ducked and Rodney sailed over his head and right into the painted-on-the-wall window! When the tip of the dog's tail disappeared into the
blackness behind the gnome, a sound like something very large and heavy crashing into water came from the wall.

The gnome popped back up, looked behind himself, turned around and stared hard into Russell's eyes. After what seemed like two hours the gnome showed a row of tiny, filthy pointed teeth, winked again and went right back to being a painting!

When Daddy came back with a bag full of cheeseburg deluxes heavy on the olives, he found his son outside the car standing next to the Vernor's mural. Russell was on his tiptoes, reaching up and sticking his finger out toward one of the gnomes, then quickly jerking it back, sort of like he expected the painting to take a nip out of him.

Daddy thought his son was mumbling something like “Rot wrote, rot wrote, rot wrote, rot wrote …” over and over.

“Oh, no!” Russell's father shouted. “The wee dog's scream has scrambled the boy's brains! I doe t'ink his mutha's gonna take this one too good!”

Daddy opened the back door of the car, and just like he used to do for the six months that Russell had been small enough to fit in a car kiddie seat, he put his son in, buckled the seat belt and patted Russ on the head.

“Doe ya worry, boy, everyt'ing's gonn be irie, just ya wait and see.”

Daddy pulled the car onto Saginaw Street and turned his reggae back up. Russell started bouncing with the groove in the backseat.

Daddy looked in the rearview mirror and said, “Oh-ho! What I tell ya? There ain't not'ing that a little bit of Bob Marley and the Wailers and the smell of cheeseburg deluxes heavy on the olives can't cure real good and quick! How ya feeling, boy?”

Russell knew he had to ease his father's mind or there'd be a ton of questions. And maybe even counselors.

He said, “I'm fine, Daddy, all I was doing out there was overcoming my fears before they overcomed me.”

“Now, that's muh boy! Spoken like a true Jamaican, mon! Everyt'ing irie?”

“Everything's irie, Daddy.”

“And the little elf t'ing ya was poking in the nose ain't giving ya no messages or not'ing, is he?”

“No, Daddy.”

“Good, good. How 'bout the rest of 'em? None of the otha elf t'ings is telling ya ta set no fires nor bite no one, are they?”

“No, Daddy.”

“And ya got that little dog quieted down in ya pocket? We won't be having no more busted-out windows, will we?”

Russell patted his empty shirt pocket and said, “Rodney Rodent's going to be so quiet it will seem like he's not even here.”

“Wonderful, boy. And we agree ya mutha doe have no need ta know 'bout what happened wit' the little dog and the car window? She gets winda this, she might want ta get that giant Zoopy back from those crazy Carters.”

“We agree, Daddy.”

“Sweet and dandy, son, sweet and dandy!”

Russell knew better than to say anything to his mother
or
his father about what had happened. Some things are so odd that telling an adult about them doesn't do anything but get you a bunch of worried looks, whispered conversations and visits with school counselors. That was a lesson he'd learned when he tried to explain to his teacher about Zoopy and the pesky purple squirrels. Russell figured there were some things that you really shouldn't tell anyone who was responsible.

“But who can I tell about this?” Russell thought. “Who won't blab and get me in trouble?”

Nothing came to him.

He stroked his chin a couple of times, the way you do when you're trying to make people think you're doing some real serious thinking.

Almost magically a name and a face came to him!

“Man!” Russell thought. “That chin-rubbing stuff really works! I'll tell the most irresponsible person I know, I'll tell Bucko!”

And Russell was right, anyone who'd ride a huge dog over a 250-foot dam
must
be extremely irresponsible. Why, they must be the
king
of the Irresponsibles!

Dad Saves the Day! (By Sheer Luck!)

R
ICHELLE
C
YRUS
-H
ERNDON
was very excited. Saturday, the day after Rodney Rodent disappeared, was the first meeting of the Flint Future Detectives that she'd be in charge of. And she couldn't wait to show these knuckleheads the proper way to run a meeting.

She pounded the sawed-in-half leg of a table on Steven's desk and thought, “Hmmm, one of the first things I'm going to do is to get a real gavel.”

She said, “I hereby call this meeting of the Flint Future Detectives to order. Mr. Secretary, would you please take attendance?”

Russell cleared his throat and said, “Is the new president, the smartest kid at Clark Elementary School, the one who understands big words and the first new human joiner of the Flint Future Detectives here?”

Richelle said, “I'm present, Russell, and I think from now on, to help speed things up, you can just call me by my name.”

“Uh-oh,” Russell thought, “another president who wants to run things her way. I'm gonna have to break this one in too.”

He cleared his throat. “Is the new vice president, second-smartest kid at Clark Elementary School, chief looker-upper and founder of the Flint Future Detectives here?”

Steven weakly raised his hand.

Russell called all five of his jobs and all four of Zoopy's.

Richelle started twisting her mouth from side to side and tapping her foot.

Then Russ said, “Is the official sneak, map reader and bug chaser here?”

He knew the answer to that one, but he was hoping that Rodney Rodent might show up for the meeting anyway.

No answer.

Russell said, “Four club members present, one missing, Madam President.”

Richelle said, “Thank you, Mr. Secretary. Is there any old business?”

Steven said, “Yes, the old business is to find out why the chief bug chaser isn't here today.”

Richelle said, “Yeah, where is Rodney Rodent?”

Russell looked up from his present-coloring and said, “The last time I saw him he was splashing into the window with that mean gnome on the Vernor's mural.”

Steven said, “Ooh, I know the one you mean. That thing looks like it's haunted, I hate that painting.”

“Not as much as me, and now it's ate up Rod-Rode and I don't know how to get him back.”

Richelle said, “Russell, you've got to explain better than that. How did a painting eat up Rodney Rodent?”

Russell told what had happened at Halo Burger the day before.

Richelle said, “And the gnome showed you his teeth, then winked at you and froze again?”

“Yup.”

Steven said, “Russell, the last time you said something that weird was right after you set the record for eating the most falafel in half an hour at the Shawarma Shack. You haven't been back there, have you?”

“No, Bucko, this really happened.”

Richelle squinched her left eye halfway shut and left her right eye halfway open. She twisted her lips to the left and then to the right. She tapped her foot around a million times before she said, “You know what, Russell? I believe you. I think this is something we need to investigate.”

Richelle went online with Steven's new computer. She searched for “Vernor's mural Flint” and soon had a picture of the mural on the screen. She read the sign that was painted in the bottom right-hand side of the painting.

ORIGINALLY PAINTED IN 1932

Steven said, “If that sign was telling the truth, it would say, ‘Terrifying Flint's young people since 1932.’ ”

Richelle said, “Whatever. So Russell, you said Rodney Rodent actually talked and said something before he disappeared into the wall?”

“He sure did, it sounded like cowboy talk.”

Steven stroked his chin and said, “Hmmm, cowboy talk. Did he say ‘Yee-haw’?”

“Uh-uh.”

“Did he say ‘Keep them dogies movin'’?”

“Nope.”

“Did he say ‘Whoopee-tie-yi-yo’?”

Richelle said, “Would you
please
stop asking him these idiotic questions? You're out of order. What exactly did he say, Russell?”

“Well, Richie-Rich, I'm not sure if I got it exactly right, but now that I think about it a little more, it was something like cowboy talk and doggy talk all mixed together.”

Steven said, “Did he say ‘Woof, woof, reach for the sky, Tex’?”

“Uh-uh.”

“Did he say ‘Arf, arf, howdy, ma'am’?”

“Nope.”

“Did he say—”

Richelle banged the table leg and screamed, “Order! Order! Would you be quiet for a minute so he can tell us what Rodney Rodent said?”

Steven looked hard at Richelle and finished, “… ‘Bowwow, saddle 'em up, pardner’?”

Richelle growled.

Russell said, “That's it! That's half of it, anyway. I remember half of what he said was ‘Bow-wow!' The rest sounded like a cowboy song.”

Steven said, “Did it sound like ‘Home on the Range’?”

“Not really.”

“Did it sound like ‘The Streets of Laredo’?”

“I don't think so.”

Richelle said, “Did it sound like ‘If Steven Carter Doesn't Close His Big Mouth, I Think I'll Die, You-all’?”

Russell said, “Not that one either.”

She said, “Do you remember anything at all about the way it sounded, Russell? It may be a key to how Rodney Rodent disappeared into that mural.”

Russell looked very disappointed in himself. He kind of mumbled, “Sorry, Madam President, I guess I wasn't paying real close attention.”

Richelle said, “That's easy to understand, Russ, seeing your dog disappear into a mural behind a winking elf has got to be pretty scary. I can understand why you might be a little traumatized.”

Steven said, “Yeah, Russ. Besides, we're Flint Future Detectives, it's an easy enough mystery for us to solve.”

Richelle said, “Since I'm president, I want to try some new things with the club and this is a good place to start. Instead of chasing off after every little thing like you guys
used to do, I think it would be best if we concentrated on only one thing with each meeting. As president, I move that we end this meeting now and head over to the Vernor's mural to find out exactly what happened to Rodney Rodent. It's our duty to try to rescue him and bring him home. I also move that we keep this top-secret until we get more information. Does anyone second my motions?”

Russell said, “If it means getting Rod-Rode back, then I don't mind getting a little dramatized by that terrible painting. I second that emotion.”

Just as Russell said that, Steven's father walked by the door.

“ ‘I Second That Emotion’! Great song! Smokey Robinson and the Miracles. Actually, it was the first song they got into the pop top ten after they changed their name. They used to be known as just the Miracles. It was released June 13, 1967, written by Smokey and Al Cleveland. Got to number one on the R & B charts and number four on the pop charts. What are you guys talking about, Motown?”

Steven thought, “Oh, no! Dad's going to start going off about African American musical history again. I've got to stop him!”

He said, “No, Dad, we're trying to find out what happened to Rodney Rodent. He disappeared down by Halo Burger yesterday.”

Dad walked into the room. “Disappeared?”

Russell said, “Hello, Mr. Carter. Yup, he disappeared in thin air right behind that winking gnome.”

A shiver ran through Steven's father. “Ooh, that thing has given me the creeps ever since I was a kid, I don't know why they don't just paint over it.”

Russell said, “Yeah, it was even creepier when Rod-Rode started talking before he disappeared in the mural.”

Mr. Carter lost interest. He said, “Isn't that nice? Well, I'm sure if you wait long enough, he'll come back. Hello, Richelle.”

“Hello, Mr. Carter.”

He looked at Zoopy, who was drooling a little lake onto the floor of Steven's bedroom.

He said, “Here's an idea! Why don't you take Zoopy down there and see if he can disappear into the mural too, you know, to give Rodney Rodent a little company.”