Mr. Right (7 page)

J
ess

T
he invitation came via email
. It wasn’t completely unexpected, yet it was much more formal than I would have expected for a birthday invite.

             
D
ear Jess
,

                               You are cordially invited to the thirtieth birthday party of Pierce Johnson on Saturday July 15
^th
. Please RSVP by Monday the 10
^th
.

                                                                                     Linda Johnson

P
.S
. I’m so very excited to meet you, Jess. Pierce has told me so much about you. I’m sure you must be a very special person in his life.

I
read
the email and my stomach dropped. I hadn’t expected for her to include a personal message in the email. Exactly what had Pierce told his parents about me? I didn’t even know much about him, let alone his parents.

I started to feel nervous thinking about what Pierce’s parents’ expectations were going to be when we met. I was also worried that Evan was going to be there. And what if he was up to his old tricks? What if he tried to tease me or touch me and did it in front of the parents? What if they noticed that I was more receptive to it than I should have been? What if they thought I was flirting back? They’d think I was a horrible girlfriend. Might even make a scene and say that I was a cheater or something. What then if they told Pierce that I’d been flirting with his friend? What if Pierce went up to Evan and started an argument with him? What if they got into a fight? A huge bust up, fists flying, black eyes might be given—shit, one of them might break a hand, or an arm or a leg, or something. That would be absolutely crazy. That would ruin the party. I mean, it would be kinda cool to have two guys fighting over me. It would be the first time and it would be kind of cool. It would be nice to have two hot guys fighting over me. Though maybe not in this situation. Maybe not at Pierce’s birthday. In front of his parents and friends. Especially after Pierce’s mom had sent me such a nice personal message along with my invitation. The way she was going on made me think she thought there was potential for her to be my mother-in-law. I didn’t want to break her heart the first time she met me. That could happen later on. Shit, hopefully I wasn’t going to have to meet her again. Maybe I’d have to have a conversation with Pierce sooner rather than later. I didn’t want him telling his parents anything about me, making them think this was something it wasn’t. I was mostly surprised to be in such a relationship. I never would have expected Pierce to be like this. It just boggled my mind that such a good-looking guy would be acting this crazy. It made me wonder what he’d say if I were to do the same thing. What if my mom were contacting him, asking him questions that made it seem like I thought we had some sort of serious relationship? I was sure that he’d be freaking out. Maybe I should do the same thing. Maybe I should ramp it up. That way I wouldn’t be the bad guy in the situation. If I started to get crazy maybe he would have doubts about me and that would make it a lot easier. At least then I wouldn’t feel like the bad person in the situation. Even if technically I was already the bad person in the situation. Well, not in actuality but in my head for sure.

I wasn’t sure if I should get dressed up for the party. Pierce wanted me to host the party with him, but I thought that was weird. This wasn’t the sort of thing that we needed to host together. It wasn’t even appropriate. Not for our level of relationship. I mean, it even felt weird saying “relationship” for what we had. I still couldn’t believe that we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Based on what, exactly, I didn’t know. It was almost as if we were in the
Twilight Zone
and I was watching from the living room, unable to look away from the craziness that was my life.

“You look hot, Jess.” Alyssa grinned as she took in my short black dress and brought me lipstick. “What a nice birthday present for Pierce.”

“What’s a nice birthday present for Pierce?” I asked her curiously.

“You, of course.” She grinned as she winked at me. “Tonight is going to be hot, right?”

“What are you talking about?” I frowned at her.

“You are wearing your sexy underwear.” She winked at me again.

“What?”

“Girl, you’re wearing a thong.” She laughed. “You only wear that when you’re going to get laid.”

“That’s not true.” I shook my head, though that was a lie. I never wore thongs. I hated the feeling. I only wore them to feel sexy. I only wore them if I thought that there was a probability that I was going to get laid. Though I had no plans to sleep with Pierce that evening, or anyone else really. I mean, it’s not like I could sleep with anyone else the night of Pierce’s birthday party. Not that I had anyone in mind, of course.

“Jess, who do you think you’re lying to?” Alyssa grinned at me. “I know my thongs from my granny panties; I’m not a guy.”

“Alyssa.” I rolled my eyes and then looked down at her in her red dress. “Are you wearing any panties?” I asked her incredulously.

“Haha, you have to ask?” She started laughing. “Amateur.”

“Why are you wearing no panties, Alyssa?” I asked her, not sure why I was feeling shocked.

“Because I’m hoping tonight is going to be a lucky night for me.”

“A lucky night?” I repeated.

“Who knows, right? I mean, you never know. Pierce is hot and you’ve already said that his one friend is hot, right?”

“Evan?” My stomach started churning. Was she going to try and hookup with Evan?

“Yeah, so if he has one hot friend, I’m sure he’s got others. Hot guys run in posses.” She stuck her tongue out at me and my stomach sank. Was she really talking about other guys or was she thinking of Evan? Had I played him up too much? Oh, my God, what was I going to do if Alyssa and Evan hooked up? I could feel the jealousy in my stomach already. I wasn’t sure why I was feeling so uncomfortable already. It wasn’t like Evan and I had anything. And I knew he wouldn’t turn down Alyssa. I mean, what guy would? She was gorgeous. And she wasn’t wearing any panties. She didn’t play games. If a guy wanted to get laid, she would be down. And I knew she would be down for Evan. Who wouldn’t be down for Evan? He was hot as hell.

“Uhm, sure,” I said weakly, wondering if it had been such a good idea to invite Alyssa after all.

If she ended up hooking up with Evan, I was going to be very upset. Upset and pissed. I wasn’t sure I’d be so upset if she hooked up with Pierce, and I wasn’t sure what that said about me. I had a feeling that the night was going to be a hot mess and I wasn’t sure how I was going to prevent that from happening.

“You don’t mind if I hookup with one of his friends, do you? That won’t be awkward, will it?”

“You can do what you want, Alyssa.” I shrugged. “You’re your own woman.”

“Jess.” She paused and grabbed my shoulders. “What’s going on? Your face looks like you want to kill me.”

“I don’t want to kill you.” I glared at her. “What are you talking about?”

“Jess. I know you better than you know yourself. You’re my best friend.” Alyssa sighed. “And right now, I can tell that you’re not happy.”

“I’m fine.”

“Jess, tell me what’s going on.”

“Nothing is going on.”

“We’re not leaving this house until you tell me what’s going on.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the couch. “What’s wrong?”

“Alyssa, there’s nothing wrong.” I sighed as I sat down and closed my eyes. “Nothing.”

“That sure didn’t sound like nothing.” Her voice was soft. “Talk to me, Jess.”

“Alyssa, I just don’t know what to think or feel anymore. I feel like I’m obsessed or bewitched or something and it makes no sense.”

“Bewitched by what?” She frowned.

“Evan,” I said softly, not wanting to admit it to her, not even wanting to admit it to myself.

“Pierce’s friend?” She blinked at me. “You really like him, huh?”

“I don’t know him well enough to say I like him.” I sighed. “I don’t know what it is, I don’t know why I feel this way. I just can’t stop thinking about him and wondering what it would be like to be with him.”

“Be with him?” Her eyes widened. “As in a sexual nature?”

“Yes, Alyssa.” I laughed. “As in a sexual nature.” I groaned. “Oh, my God, I suck. What’s my problem?”

“I think you can’t help who you’re interested in and this Evan seems like quite the guy.”

“Ugh, he’s not a good guy. He seems like a player.” I groaned. “And I just don’t know why I’m so attracted to him. It’s not as if Pierce isn’t attractive as well.”

“But if you’re not as attracted to him…”

“Ugh, I don’t even know. What the hell am I doing?” I buried my face in my hands. “I really suck. This really sucks. I don’t even want to go tonight. You know his mom is going to be there and seems to think we have some sort of serious relationship. And what if his dad is there as well? What if they think we’re really tight and then they see me with Evan, and he tries to flirt or touch me or something?”

“Do you want me to flirt with Evan, then? Distract him?”

“No,” I almost shouted, and her eyes widened.

“Oh, shit, you’re really into this Evan, aren’t you?”

“It’s a mess.” I nodded and groaned again. “What am I going to do?”

“Ignore him as best as you can.” She laughed. “And I will do the same.”

“Oh, Alyssa, what am I doing? And how did I get so lucky to get a best friend like you?”

“You have a best friend like me because you’re awesome.”

“I know.” I grinned at her. “But you’re even more awesome.”

“Is there such a thing?” She winked at me and we both started laughing.

“I don’t know. Perhaps?” I giggled and grabbed her hands. “Thanks for making me feel better about all of this. I feel like a fool for being jealous of you possibly flirting with Evan. What’s wrong with me?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” she said, and we both knew that was only partially true. I have to admit that I’m not quite as innocent as I would lead you to believe. I am mean in real life—I am. It’s hard not to be if you’re as shy and insecure as I am. Alyssa doesn’t always believe me when I say I feel uncomfortable in those types of situations. I think it’s because on the outside I pretend I’m more confident than I am. I can fake it quite well. That’s because I don’t want to be a sad case. My parents raised me to be strong. My dad was in the Army and so he was pretty closed off, and my mom… well, she just wasn’t very good with expressing feelings. So I grew up keeping everything inside. And when I say everything, I mean everything: feelings, emotions, wants, needs. Some might say I’m sexually repressed. I’ve always had fantasies and thoughts about different things and scenarios I’d like to be in, but I’ve never acted on them. I certainly never thought any of them would come true. And I can’t say that I’ve ever wanted to sleep with a boyfriend’s friend before. Especially one like Evan. I think though, that Evan was the only sort of guy I would ever really find myself in such a situation with. The things I despised about him were the things that drew me to him. He was condescending, rude, egotistical, narcissistic—everything I didn’t want in a man. And it wasn’t as if he wanted me for anything real. But there was something about him that drew me to him and it wasn’t just his looks. I can’t even really explain it. But it was the very things that turned me off of him that drew me to him. I’d always found myself attracted to the guys that I shouldn’t have or want. There was something about getting attention from bad boys that made me feel more alive than at other times. It was like my body craved the unknown, the dark, the devious. I can’t even explain it. It’s not what I want in a relationship. It’s not what I want in a romance, yet I can’t stop myself.

“We both know I’ve got issues.”

“We’ve all got issues.” She looked me in the eyes. “Don’t think that your issues define you or that you can’t get over them.”

“I just don’t want to be this person, Alyssa. I don’t want to keep seeking out these guys who aren’t good for me. It’s not healthy and I just don’t want to keep going down this road.”

“Jess…” Alyssa gave me a small smile. “Let’s be real here. You didn’t seek out Evan. In fact, you’re not even dating Evan. I wouldn’t be so down on yourself.”

“You don’t think I’m crazy for feeling jealous that you might hookup with him tonight at a birthday party for a different guy I’m meant to be dating?”

“How do you want me to answer that?” She laughed. “Yes? No? I don’t know this Evan, but I know what it’s like to be irrationally jealous. Maybe not this exact situation, but I’ve been in similar situations that are crazy.”

“Should I break up with Pierce?” I asked her, wanting her to tell me what to do. Then I groaned. “Is it crazy that I don’t even feel like I’m actually dating him?”

“Well, I’ve never heard of a boyfriend and a girlfriend not having sex.” Alyssa grinned at me wickedly. “But what do I know?”

“Nothing.” I laughed. “Absolutely nothing.”

“Exactly.” She laughed. “Let’s go and have fun. And if you end up breaking up with Pierce tonight, then who cares? Life’s too short to be with someone you don’t want to be with.” Her expression changed and she looked at me seriously. She grabbed my hands and then took a deep breath. “Okay, I’m going to be serious here for a few seconds.”

“Uh-oh.” I made a face and giggled, but her expression didn’t change.

“I want to tell you something,” she said and continued looking into my eyes. “Seriously now.”

“Serious?” My stomach churned. “Am I going to cry?”

“You’d better not.” She shook her head and took a deep breath. “We’ve been best friends for a long time, Jess. And I know you better than I think anyone does, and you know me better than I think anyone does, and we’re always here for each other. I know—and let me speak before you try and interrupt me—I know that your dad has kinda messed with how you react and deal with men. I know because my dad was unemotional too and that has affected me as well, but in a different way. I know we have our issues, emotional, and sensitive and hard to understand. But I want you to know how special you are and how you’re one of the best people I know. You’re seriously one of the best people I know and I hate to see you in such self-doubt. You think about others so much and always before yourself, but sometimes you need to think of yourself first. Seriously, you can’t always avoid hurting someone in life. That’s just how life goes. And guys… well, guys are complicated. Life is complicated. Love is complicated. That’s just how it goes. And it’s complicated for all of us. Don’t beat yourself up. No matter what happens. You’re great and no matter what happens, I will always be here for you. I will always have your back. You do what you need to do. I don’t care if it’s something crazy, something scandalous, something that you’ll look back on in ten years and say ‘oh, my God.’ I will always be here for you. I’m your ride or die. I will always love you. I will always have your back. You can always tell me anything. Anything. If you fucking kill someone, you can tell me. I will always be here for you. Through boyfriends, husbands, kids, grandkids, through frigging death, you hear me? I will always be your best friend. You can always tell me anything.” She squeezed my hands. “Don’t ever doubt yourself or worry about what you’re thinking or feeling. Or ever doubt you can tell me anything. You hear me?” She took a deep breath. “Wow, that was a lot.” She looked me in the eyes. “But I hope it all came through.”