Murder & Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction (23 page)

BOOK: Murder & Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction
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Four
days later, on P.D’s twenty-second birthday, Nellie Lawrence was laid to rest.

 

 


July
2010  ]

 

After Tess was pushed to the ground, she sat up and turned as quickly as she could, looking all around her. Her knees hurt, and when she rubbed them she realized her hands were scraped raw, too. She didn’t see a soul around. Jack was lying face up on the grass next to the sidewalk. She hadn’t been knocked out when she was shoved, but he had—either from the force of the blow to his head, or from the fall, she wasn’t sure. He was out cold, blood trickling from the back of his head.

She’d
gotten the wind knocked out of her when she was pushed, and she took several deep breaths as she moved over to Jack and began patting his cheeks in an effort to wake him up. She said his name several times, frantically looking up and down the quiet, empty street for help. Then she saw his cell phone attached to his belt. She pulled it off, and called 911 while simultaneously running her hand up and down his chest, feeling him breathe in and out.

At
least he’s breathing
.

Sitting
on the sidewalk, with the hot concrete burning through her skirt, Tess tried to rouse Jack, and to think of something to use to stop the steady stream of blood coming from the back of his head.


Jack!” She leaned over his face, feeling gently around the back of his head to investigate the injury. Her hand came away covered in sticky blood. With her fingertips, she tenderly wiped away the sweat building on his forehead and on either side of his nose. She could hear the faint sounds of a siren in the distance. Turning his head to the side, she knelt to get a better look at his wound, and felt the grit and the heat biting into her knees. Pulling the tail of her blouse out, she unbuttoned the bottom two buttons so she could use her shirttail to stop the flow of blood. Gingerly turning his head, she saw that, miraculously, the wound didn’t look too severe. But there was a lot of blood. When her knees couldn’t stand the searing heat any longer, she tried to sit back down, but she toppled over and had to right herself. She looked around to see if anyone had seen her make that graceful move.


Jack?” She could have sworn she saw one of his eyes open when she changed positions. Then she noticed something different about his face. It wasn’t as slack as it had been. In fact, he looked like he was trying not to smile.


Oh for Pete’s sake,” she said, crossing her arms. “Give it up,
Jackson. I know you’ve come-to. I saw your eyelid open.”

Slowly,
he opened his eyes, still trying not to smile.


Just what do you think you’re doing?”


Honey, I’ve been dreamin’ about you runnin’ your hands over my body and unbuttonin’ your shirt for weeks. I wasn’t about to stop you.”


Luckily for you, Bub, the ambulance is pulling up, and here comes a police car, too, or I might have added to your injuries.” Then her tone softened, and she looked at him with concern. “Are you okay?”


I think so. And I wasn’t playing possum for that long. I just couldn’t resist enjoyin’ your TLC for a few minutes longer.”


You’re incorrigible!” she sighed, smiling and shaking her head at him.

Police
officer Skeeter Duke took her statement, while an EMS technician named Nosmo King Brown examined Jack. Tess saw the mayor talking to one of the other police officers. Buck was in running shorts and looked hot and sweaty, like he was in the midst of another one of his jogs.


So neither of you can offer any information on the assailant?”
Skeeter asked.


I’m afraid not,” Tess said. “It happened so fast, and the culprit blindsided us from behind. He was gone before I could look up. Jack was knocked out right away, so I know he couldn’t have seen a thing.”

Both
Skeeter and Nosmo King got into their vehicles to finish writing up their reports. Tess tried to bite her tongue, but she
had
to ask.


Nosmo King?” She leaned into Jack, whispering out of the side of her mouth.


Yep. His mother, Zinnia, couldn’t think of a name for him, and when she was in labor she looked up and saw a ‘No Smoking’ sign. She liked it, and the rest is history. He has a sister named Placentia. Zinnia heard the word ‘placenta’ in the delivery room and took to it. I suppose it could be worse.”

She
nodded. “News sure does travel fast around here.” Tess looked at the crowd that had developed.


Oh yeah, especially news of a crime, since it’s such a rare occurrence around here,” Jack said, holding a wet towel to his head.


And here comes Louetta, Martha Maye, Butterbean, and Henry Clay. Look how fast that eighty-year-old woman can move.” Tess waved to them.


Tessie! Lands sakes, what happened, honey?” Lou ran up to Tess and Jack, who were sitting on the back of the ambulance.


I’m not really sure—” Tess began.


Lou, it happened faster ‘n a knife fight in a phone booth. One minute I was walkin’ down the sidewalk and the next I was layin’ on the ground like road-kill, with an angel leanin’ over me.” He winked at Tess.


Jackson, you look like you was inside the outhouse when lightnin’ struck. You poor baby! Are you all right?”


Do y’all have any ideal who it was?” Martha Maye asked.


No idee-a,” Jack said, enunciating the word. Martha Maye didn’t seem to notice.

Lou
looked around at the group of people who had gathered out of curiosity, to gawk, or to offer help. She saw Buck over by the police cruiser talking to Skeeter’s partner and she grunted. “May’r Buck. What’s he doin’ hare? He’s about as useful as buttons on a dishrag.”


Mama, quit bein’ ugly,” Martha Maye whispered. “’Y’all have ta ‘scuse Mama, she’s all worked up on account she thinks the Mayor’s all fer the Barnes and Noble Bookstore chain to come in to the new
shoppin’ center over on Route 42. It’ll put her outta business for sure.”


Aw, he says he’s fightin’ it, but did he fight the MacDonalds when they wanted in?” she said, with an emphasis on Mac. “His big mouth overloaded his butt. That’s his problem.”

Jack
whispered to Tess, “Means he talks a lot, but doesn’t do
anything.”


Mama!” Butterbean said, tugging on her mother’s arm.


And if that ain't true, grits ain't groceries, eggs ain't poultry, and Mona Lisa was a man.” Lou crossed her arms and glared at the mayor even though he was oblivious. He was animatedly talking to a group of people.


Mama!” Butterbean pulled on her mother’s arm again. “Granny said ‘butt’!”


I know, honey..She’s sorry.” She shot her mother a look. “All right. This isn’t a place for youngins. I’m glad y’all are okay. I’ll be takin’ Butterbean home now. I’ll bring y’all a cake tomorrow. Henry Clay, you comin’?”


Thanks for coming to check on us, Martha Maye and Henry Clay,” Tess said. “Lou, you should go on, too. We’re about done here, and they’re going to take Jack to the hospital for observation . . . “


Oh no, they are not!” Jack was emphatic. “I’m fine. I just have a
little headache. And I’m
not
goin’ to any hospital.”

The
two women tried to convince Jack to go to the emergency room only for a little while, but his mind was made up. He signed a release, while Nosmo King stood shaking his head.

Skeeter
motioned toward his car. “Come on, y’all, load up, and I’ll drive ya home.”


Tess, can you get in?” Jack asked, as they approached her house.


Yes, I keep a spare key hidden in the garage, in case I ever lock
myself out. Thank you for the ride, Skeeter. Lou, take care of him, now, okay?” Tess shot a worried look at Jack.


Honey, he’s in good hands,” Lou crooned.

Jack
clutched the door, pleading teasingly, “Don’t leave me with this woman! She’ll eat me alive!”

After
Skeeter dropped them off, Lou fussed over Jack until he
gently, but firmly, made her go home. Then he sat on the couch with his basset hound, absentmindedly scratching her ears, as she sat next to him in near nirvana.

 
Suddenly, he bolted up from the couch so fast he sent the dog into a barking frenzy. He turned off all the lights, to make it appear to Lou as if he had gone to bed. He knew she’d be watching. He went to the linen closet, pulled out a fresh pillowcase and stuffed it in his back pocket, as best he could.

He
attached the leash. “C’mon girl, let’s go for a walk. And be quiet! We can’t let Lou know we’re leavin’.”

You
Got Your Stupid Head On Today?

 


roundcheer
:  adverb \ round-cheer\ around here

We didn’t have any trouble ‘roundcheer till you came.

 

 

[  1937  ]

 

Trevor Hobb ran down the embankment from his sister-in-law’s house, splashing through the water of Duckbill Creek. He followed it for a short distance, trying to get back to his home. Breathing heavily, he started up a hill and heard the voices of several men. Startled, nervous, and sure they were looking for him, he lost his footing and fell down the incline several feet. He laid flat against the hillside, listening for the men. Sensing they weren’t very near, he crawled to the hilltop and peeked over the edge and around a tree. There were at least a dozen men. Some had shotguns, others had pieces of wood, tire irons, baseball bats, or clubs. Word had spread fast. They knew what he’d done, and they were on his tail. He scrambled back down the hill, slipping and sliding to the creek, splashing through and to the other side. He ran for about a mile, and then climbed a hill to Chester Ward’s home. Out of breath, wheezing, and gasping for air, he banged on the door.


Chester, I need to use yer phone.” Trevor talked around great gulps of air.


Sure, Trevor. What’s wrong?”


I just need to use the phone.”

Chester
led him into the house, and Trevor put the murder weapon on a table as he passed it. He immediately called Luke Blair, an employee at the First National Bank.


Luke, this here’s Trevor. I need yer hep. The posse’s after me, and they’re out for blood. I don’t want to die, or get beaten. I’ll turn myself in if you’ll call Bug and tell him I’m at Chester’s, and that I’ll surrender peacefully. I don’t want to be harmed.”


Good Lord, Trevor, it’s
you
the whole town is up in arms over?”


I did what I had ta do. Will ya call Bug? Tell him where I’m at.” He listened a moment, then said, “Yeah, Chester’s house.” He hung up and collapsed into a chair, head in his hands.

Chester
said, “You’re in a heap a trubba, huh?” Trevor didn’t
answer. Chester left him alone and went to the window to watch for
the police car.


Trevor, they’re here,” he said five minutes later. “Go peacefully, just like you said, now, ya hear?”

Trevor
nodded, stood up, and walked to the door, as Bug and his deputy got out of the car. He walked outside with his hands high above his head. “It’s on the table over yonder.” He motioned with his
head toward the house. Both men knew he was referring to the murder weapon.

The
deputy went for the gun, and examined it. He came out of the house and reported, “Two of the four cartridges have been fired.”

Bug
patted Trevor down, put his hand in his pocket, and pulled out a handful of shells for the gun.


You made a wise choice in comin’ in peacefully, Trevor.” Bug handcuffed him. “You’re in a heap a trubba already. Come on, let’s head fer yer new home.”

 

 


July
2010  ]

 

Tess had just gotten out of the shower and put on a camisole and pj
bottoms when her doorbell rang. Frightened over who was at the door, she quickly grabbed her Louisville Slugger and crept down the stairs. She’d turned all of the downstairs lights off earlier except for the one over the kitchen sink and the front porch light. Peeking around the wall and looking through the big glass panes that were inset in the double wooden front doors, her heart beat fast. Seeing Jack standing on the front porch, she took a deep breath.


Jack,” she said, opening the door, oblivious to how little she had on. “What are you doing here? Are you all right?”

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