Natasha's Awakening (22 page)

Natasha started shaking, she didn’t like this side of Eric. How he could be so caring and considerate then a brute the next she had no idea, but suddenly all she wanted to do was get away from him and she had to do it now. A part of her knew her behaviour was irrational but she couldn’t help it. Without thinking the whole thing through first, she turned, storming back to where their towels and her bag were. She hastily packed up her things, leaving Eric’s towel for him, she could do that much for him and with one final glance to see if he was still swimming well off shore, which he was, she started heading back towards her car, breaking into a jog so she didn’t run the risk of him getting to her first.

She heard Brodie call her name and Natasha waved in his direction, but didn’t slow down at all. She just wanted to get as far away from Eric as she could before he realised she’d gone. As much as she loved him, his mood swings were driving her crazy. If he loved her, she could understand him being caring and attentive when they were alone and acting like a jealous lover when in the presence of another man but he’d been almost mocking of her suggestion that he was jealous so all he’d managed to do was make her feel belittled and embarrassed in front of Brodie who had done nothing wrong. She didn’t like being made to feel uncomfortable being nice to a man who was nice to her when Eric had no claim over her, she was nothing more than a pleasant diversion for a week to him and she would be delusional if she thought it was anything more than that.

Suddenly a hand closed on her arm pulling her to an abrupt halt and Natasha swung around bracing herself for a confrontation with Eric, but it was Brodie. “Natasha, are you ok?” He asked, concern on his face.

“I’m fine Brodie, please let me go, I’m just mad at Eric and I want to get out of here, ok?” She gave him a pleading look, pulling her arm free and hurrying away again.

“Natasha wait.” He called jogging after her but she wouldn’t stop until she got to her car. “Natasha please. Why do you put up with him if he upsets you so much?” He asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it Brodie, please, just go, you don’t want to be here if he turns up, I don’t know what he’ll do to you.” She pushed him away from her car, unlocking the door before tossing her bag inside and climbing in to the driver’s seat.

“Just go, please and thank you, but I’m fine.” She tried to reassure him but Brodie wasn’t looking so convinced.

“If you need me at all, I’m always here Natasha.” He said, stepping back from the car. She turned the key, the BMW’s engine purring to life.

“Thank you Brodie.” Natasha smiled at him and threw the car into reverse, backing out as quickly as she could.

As she drove away, she looked in the rear vision mirror just in time to see Eric running across the car park towards her. She watched him stop and just stare at her driving off as quickly as she dared in the busy car park and she hoped he wouldn’t take out his anger on Brodie, but she couldn’t worry about that, she needed to get back to the hotel, pack and get out of there before Eric found his way back to their room as she knew he was going to be furious at her for leaving him stranded like that. For her at least, their week away was over, it wasn’t going to achieve anything staying with him longer and every moment spent with him either infuriated her or made her heart ache even more, so the best thing to do was leave him. As the reality of what she had done sunk in, Natasha felt the tears start to slide down her face and she made no effort to stop them.

                                                                              Chapter 11.

Somehow Natasha made it back to the hotel despite being half blinded by her tears. The worst thing about it all was she had no idea why she was crying, why she had allowed herself to become so upset by Eric’s caveman like behaviour at the beach.

She suspected it was her feelings for him that were making her into an emotional rollercoaster. She loved Eric, she wanted to be with him for the rest of her life, she wanted his children and she wanted to be seen out with him, to be proud of that fact, for him to want to be seen with her and if he did go all caveman on her at least she’d know it was because jealousy fired him up. The way it stood now in her mind, Eric wanted her exclusively for the week, he wanted her at his beck and call, he didn’t really want her going anywhere, talking to anyone, she was nothing more than a high class whore and she wasn’t even damned well getting paid. Eric obviously didn’t want anything distracting her from him for the duration of their time together at which point, once it was over, he could pat her on the back and send her on her way.

She was angry with herself because she knew, she knew what she’d signed up for when she agreed to come away with him, but she’d blindly gone in anyway and now her heart was on the line. She’d heard women say that the man who took their virginity was the one that stayed in their minds forever but she’d stupidly thought she could give him her innocence and walk away without any concerns when their time was up. “How could you be so stupid Natasha?” She scolded herself, swiping angrily at the tears chorusing down her face, seemingly unstoppable.

When she got back to the hotel, she jumped out of her car and handed the keys over to the valet, telling him she’d be back soon and clutching her bag to her chest, she hurried into the lobby punching the button for the elevators and waited impatiently for the doors to open.

Finally the doors opened to one and Natasha rushed inside, hitting the button for the penthouse and once it had made its way to the top level she hastily unlocked the door to their suite and without giving it too much thought she started grabbing her things from the rooms, stuffing them into her bag, tears still tracking their way down her face.

Once she had everything in her bag, she quickly changed into a lavender sundress with a pretty lacy overlay, stepped into matching shoes and went into the bathroom to splash water over her face and run a brush through her tangled hair.

Her eyes were a little red and puffy from her crying, but she would be out of here soon and on her way home. There wouldn’t be any need to come in contact with anyone along the way. She checked her mobile phone and her heart leapt in her chest at the string of unanswered calls from Eric. He’d left her some voice messages too, but no way in hell was she going to listen to them. He was going to be furious with her. She didn’t need to hear his voice over her phone to know that one. She turned her phone off and stuffed it into her bag.

With one final glance around the suite, hoping she’d remembered everything, she left the room and went and pushed the button for the elevator. The doors slid open immediately and she stepped in. She waited patiently as it silently moved down to the lobby and with each floor it passed Natasha’s heart grew heavier. She was really doing this, she was leaving Eric and possibly her job too if he didn’t forgive her for what she had done.

The elevator ground to a halt and the doors opened. Natasha reached down for her bag and stepped forward slamming straight into a rock hard chest. “Oh sorry, I…..” She started to say, the words dying on her lips when she raised her eyes and met Eric’s angry blue gaze. Her heart leapt violently in her chest and started to beat rapidly. She backed up until she hit the rear wall of the elevator and with nowhere left to run, she nervously watched him advance towards her.

“You got back.” She whispered her eyes wide as she tried to gauge just how much he might be wanting to kill her right now.

“Yeah, I got back.” He said, his voice dangerously soft. “No thanks to you though.” He stopped right in front of her, so close, she could feel the heat radiating off his body. “So, what the fuck was that shit all about?” He asked. “Why the fuck did you drive off and leave me like that?”

Eric hit the button to close the doors on the elevator and Natasha felt it move, heading back up, right where she didn’t want to go. “I don’t know.” She whispered.

“Damn you Natasha.” He slammed his hands against the mirrored wall of the elevator and she flinched, fearful that he might hit her.

“Don’t hurt me.” She cried and Eric recoiled in horror.

“You think that I could hurt you?” He asked incredulously. “How could you think that of me? I’ve never hit a woman in my life and I’m not about to start with you, no matter how crazy you’ve got me right now.”

He raised a hand to rake his fingers through his hair in frustration before turning his attention back to Natasha who was still standing eyeing him off warily.

“Please Eric, just let me go, this isn’t working ok, I want to go.” She begged him and he hit the wall again, punching the button to shut the doors when they opened back at the penthouse level. “You’re not going anywhere until you tell me why.” He said.

“You scare me when you’re like this.” She told him. “You acted like a caveman at the beach. What was next? Grabbing my hair and hauling me away?” Natasha asked him. “Brodie is just a friend, he saved me from a nasty sunburn yesterday and he caught me before I fell over in the water today. What’s so bad about that? It was all innocent and I know I barely know him, but I like him. He’s just being friendly after all.”

“He had his hands on you and I didn’t like it. He wants you Natasha, can’t you see that?” He said, frustration lacing his voice.

“Well so what if he does.” She said. “I’m with you for now, for this week anyway. Your behaviour was embarrassing, I felt like nothing more than a high class hooker and I don’t like it. Why can you be so nice sometimes and a complete bastard at other times?” she asked.

“I wasn’t being a bastard, I just wanted that Brodie-” Eric spat his name out like he’d just tasted something bad,”- to realise that you are mine.”

Natasha sighed impatiently, “But I’m not yours.” She shouted at him. “We were to have this week together then life goes back to normal, right?”

“Fuck this Natasha, come back to the suite, I’m not doing this any longer in the damned elevator.” Eric said. Natasha stood frozen, undecided. “Natasha?” Eric held out his hand. “Please.”

“Well since you asked so nicely.” She said her voice dripping with sarcasm. She picked up her bag and together they made their way back into the suite. Natasha dropped her bag near the door and walked into the living room to flop down on the lounge. Eric chose to pace the room, his expression showing his frustration, his hair tousled from the constant raking of his hand through it.

“Fuck this Natasha, talk to me. I thought you were having a good time with me, then suddenly you’re like best friends with a man you barely know and I’ve become the bad guy and you fucking well drive off and leave me stranded. I want a damned explanation and I bloody well want it now.” Eric was almost shouting at her as his anger grew.

“I don’t know Eric. Suddenly it all got too much. It goes well, then something happens and you get angry and I hate the way you can make me feel. A part of me thinks I should never have agreed to this week together. You make me feel like your dirty little secret. I..I…I can’t give you a better explanation than that, I’m sorry.” Natasha shrugged her shoulders, suddenly feeling deflated, too weary to continue fighting with him.

Eric stopped his pacing and came over to her, dropping down to his knees before her. “Do you regret our time together?” He asked, his eyes searching her face. Natasha’s gaze shifted away from his, she couldn’t look at him in case he saw, in case he learned her secret.

“Yes….no…..sometimes.” She whispered.

“Why were you going to leave me?” he asked and Natasha tensed, her mind turning over as she considered how she was going to answer that question.

“I don’t know.” She said. “I just felt overwhelmed, angry, frustrated, I had to get away.”

Eric moved forward leaning on Natasha’s knees as he studied her face for a moment. She couldn’t help but squirm a little under his close scrutiny hoping desperately that he wouldn’t see how much she loved him. He raised one hand to cup her cheek.

“Do you want to leave?” He whispered and with those few softly spoken words, Natasha lost the tenuous control she had and started to cry.

With a soft groan, Eric pulled her into his arms. “God baby, don’t cry, I’m sorry, I never meant to upset you. I’m sorry that I’ve made you so sad, that you want to get away from me so badly.” His hand caressed her back and Natasha buried her face into his chest, her tears wetting his t-shirt as she sobbed uncontrollably.

“I don’t want to go.” Her voice was muffled against Eric’s chest. “I love.” She broke off. “I love the time we’ve spent together.” She hastily corrected.

“Then what is wrong?” Eric asked her pulling back so he could see her face, his thumbs gently wiping away her tears and Natasha felt another fresh flood of tears chorus down her cheeks at his unexpected tenderness.

“I don’t know Eric, please stop asking me that. Maybe it’s just hormones ok?” She pushed him aside, climbing to her feet, putting some distance between them as she couldn’t think when she was near Eric. He affected her that much, all rational thought went out of her brain.

She moved to the window her back to the view as she focused on the man in the room with her. “Dammit it Natasha, I don’t know what you want. I don’t know what you expect, all I know is you’re doing my fucking head in woman.” Eric started pacing again his movements agitated as he kept glancing over to her. “You frustrate me like no other woman ever has, you make me want you like no other woman ever has and you drive me crazy, so fucking crazy Natasha. I don’t want this to end, I don’t want you to go but I don’t know what to do either. How the fuck do I make this right?”

Natasha watched his restless movements around the room and down deep inside her, a tiny flicker of hope sparked to life. Could Eric be developing feelings for her? He said she drove him crazier than any woman had before and he didn’t want her to leave, so was there a chance, in time, he could develop feelings? She hoped so, oh god, she hoped so.

Suddenly Eric stopped his pacing which was probably a good thing for the carpet as he was going to wear it out if he didn’t stop soon anyway. “Come away with me Natasha.” He said.