Nature's Destiny (11 page)
I skipped my way into the kitchen where the smell of pancakes wafted deliciously to my nose. As I took deep lungful’s of air, I could almost taste the batter goodness.
“Good morning, sunshine.” I called to Faye as she stood over the oven, tossing the pancake in the air.
“Well, aren’t you all happy this morning,” she turned toward me, and raised an eyebrow in question.
“What?” I asked, feeling coy.
“Assuming from your giddy nature, I take it last night went well?” I blushed, my thoughts straying to Riley. “My brother tells me you had quite the night.”
Riley told Faye about our kiss? Why did he even do that?
“Umm, well, yeah. I think so,” I babbled.
Faye was Riley’s sister, and it didn’t feel right to just waltz in and comment on her brother’s excellent kissing skills.
“That trap must have been scary?” I caught on quickly as I realised the mistake I’d made. I couldn’t have been more grateful that I hadn’t mentioned the kiss.
“Yeah. All I’m going to say is, thank God for Riley!” I sat down at the table while I waited for the kettle to boil. “It was a close call. Did everyone else get back alright?” “Yes. Everyone is fine, not even a splinter harmed us.”
I slouched back down in my seat relieved.
“Aside from that, the rest went well?” she asked.
I nodded as the click of the kettle signalled it was ready. I walked towards the counter and took a cup from the mug tree and placed a teabag inside, filling it with water.
“I changed without a problem, and ran through the woods. It was amazing! I can’t wait to go again.”
“Usually we’d go again tonight, but Riley wants everyone to stay in.”
I pouted, I really wanted to run again.
“He’s had to leave on urgent business, and while he’s away he doesn’t want anyone to get hurt.”
He was gone? My heart sank as I tried to shake the feeling that he’d left because of me. I wasn’t being paranoid or upping my self-worth, but last night when I’d transformed he’d stared at me shocked and I’d never had the chance to ask why. Was it a ruse to get away from me because we’d kissed? It was too coincidental, and I’d thought he liked me too.
“Won’t the moon affect me tonight? I thought it was a three-night process, or at least that’s what I saw in the movies,” I blushed at my lack of knowledge.
“It is.”
“Then how can I not turn into a wolf? Riley told me I wouldn’t be able to stop from changing.”
“The first night is always the hardest as it’s the strongest,” she began, and I settled back down in my seat with my tea. “If you stay inside away from the moon, the influence won’t affect you. When we grow up we’re taught how to control and manipulate our shifts, so don’t worry about us,” she stared me down like she knew what I was thinking.
“We’ll close all the curtains which should be enough. You’ll be fine, I promise. Do you want some pancakes?”
“Yes, please.”
It seemed foolish to pass up the offer of food, especially when it smelt divine.
“Where is everyone today?” I asked, surprised that Lara wasn’t in the kitchen too.
“As far as I know, Roxy is still asleep. I think Shane said she’d had a bad night. And my sister, as usual, is out playing rugby with the guys. She spends more time with them than she does with me. She’s such a crazy sport nut!”
I laughed at the image, unsure as to how true that was. From what I’d seen they spent a lot of time together, but that may have been because of my arrival. There was a lot I still didn’t know about my pack sisters.
“Is there anything you need from the shops, Luna? I need to go into town to do some food shopping, I don’t think the men will like it much if I feed them water and salad for dinner!”
I instantly thought of them chewing lettuce leaves like rabbits.
“Would you like company?”
I didn’t mind helping, and it wasn’t like I had work to get to. Besides, I thought it was a good way to check out the local town, and get to know the area.
“Of course. Roxy may want to come as she doesn’t get out of the house much these days.”
“That’s fine with me. Shall I drive?” I asked.
“Sure. I’ll just go visit Roxy, and then meet you back down here in half an hour?” I nodded in agreement and placed a forkful of pancake into my mouth. They were marvellous.
Faye had left the room as I cleared away the last of my food. The rain poured down and hammered against the windows. The sky darkened as clouds covered the house, and I wondered if a thunderstorm was on its way. I couldn’t imagine Lara playing rugby outside regardless of what Riley had told me about our body temperature.
I brushed my teeth, dabbed on the smallest amount of make-up I could, and tidied my hair into a bun. I grabbed my jacket, slipped on my trainers and waited downstairs.
Roxy and Faye walked into the kitchen together and I realised just how beautiful they were. Faye had a curvy feminine body that she was obviously proud of, and her jeans hugged her bottom nicely. She wore a pair of boots over her skinny jeans and a tight black vest top and cardigan to match. Her hair was perfectly straight and her tanned skin was flawless.
Roxy wore a lovely green, flowing maxi dress that showed off her bump. I was a little surprised considering the rain, though I couldn’t blame her. I couldn’t imagine how uncomfortable she probably felt.
“Ready?” I asked, and they nodded in reply.
The garage was empty of only one car, and it was the fastest. Riley must have been in a bigger rush to leave than I’d realised, and I couldn’t begin to think of a reason that was that important.
“Does Riley always take the Aston Martin out?” I asked, desperate for some answers about his absence.
“That’s a trick question,” said Faye.
“How so?” I thought it was quite simple.
“It depends on where he’s going. For a trip into town he’ll take one of the Kuga’s. But if he’s heading off on official Alpha business the Aston goes with him. It’s like a signature of his status. It allows the other packs to see how wealthy we are, not because we’re arrogant, but as a sign to be respected.”
Wherever Riley had gone it was important. I was on edge just thinking about him, wherever he was, doing whatever he needed to.
“Holy shit, Luna! You have screens in the headrests!” said Faye as we climbed in. “This is luxurious!” I chuckled at her reaction.
I’d spent the whole of yesterday swooning over everything new, that it was nice for somebody else to do it in return. I waited as Roxy pulled the seat belt around her stomach and buckled in before turning on the ignition.
I eased out of the garage and continued our conversation.
“Well, I’ve never been able to use them for myself obviously, but you can play music videos and films through them.”
“Looks like we need to upgrade those Kuga’s!” she laughed.
“They’re brand new aren’t they?” I asked, sure they were the latest model.
“Yeah. We don’t go on long trips that often, and from now on we’ll make sure to go in your car if we do.” Faye winked at me through the rear view mirror.
“Which way am I heading ladies?” I’d reached the end of the driveway and waited for directions.
“If you turn right and head back the way you came in yesterday you’ll come to a big roundabout.” I nodded, remembering. “Take the second exit and follow that road into town. It’s quite straight forward, there’s a big supermarket opposite the town shops. You can’t miss it,” said Roxy.
“That sounds pretty easy, but if I go somewhere wrong we’ll just call it a road trip,” I said, and they both laughed.*
I sprawled out on my bed, feeling the cool sheets comfort my skin. I’d finished unpacking and rewarded myself by becoming lazy. My room was a decent size that fit a double bed, walk-in wardrobe and en-suite with a shower. There wasn’t a bath tub, but the main bathrooms had one each.
There was also a desk and a swivelling chair which I’d spent a lot of my time spinning in circles on while I procrastinated over my clothes. I hated unpacking more than I did packing. The desk held a TV, and I’d placed my iMac beside it too.
My phone stared at me, which increased my guilt for having ignored it. I wasn’t the type to be glued to my phone, but with everything that had happened since Saturday morning I hadn’t even thought about texting or calling Sky. And that made me feel like a terrible friend.
We’d often spent a few days without communication, but it didn’t make me feel better telling myself that. I’d meant to tell her that I’d gone abroad already, but I forgot, and I had to deal with that.
I turned on the device and watched as the screen lit up with several icons - a mixture of messages and missed calls. That was never good.Last night was great. Let’s do it again. Xx
Where r u? Call me. xx
Quit playing Luna. Answer me. xx
LUNA!
That was the last of the texts. Oh, boy, I was in trouble. I didn’t have the strength to listen to the voicemails too. It was useless putting off the phone call, and as much as I wanted to, I knew it would be better for the both of us to get it over with.
I gathered my nerves and dialled her number, and plastered a fake smile across my face in anticipation of what was sure to be an awkward conversation.
“Luna? Thank God! Do you know how close I was to calling 999!” she sounded hysterical, which made my job harder.
“Sorry, Sky! Really I am, but I can’t talk for long.”
“You think that’s good enough? You leave me hanging for days, and then you tell me you can’t talk for long? What’s up with you?”
“I’m in Europe! And unless you want to pay for a horrendous phone bill then you’ll thank me for a quick chat!” I argued, only it hurt knowing I was lying to Sky.
“You left already? Without saying goodbye?”
“I’m sorry Sky, I really am. I left last night on a whim. I just wanted you to know that I’m alright, and that we’ll make up for lost time when I return for graduation,” I said, knowing it would get her excited.
“Sounds like a plan. Be careful out there and I’ll see you in a month.”
“Have a good summer Sky, and don’t break too many hearts!” I said, lightening the mood.
“You know me, Luna. Don’t forget my present. Bye!”
“Bye, Sky!” I tapped the ‘End’ icon and stared at the screen.
I felt at odds, like lying to Sky was the worst thing I’d done to her considering how easy it was. I’d paced the entire length of the room five times in the space of the short phone call.
I was sad, my friendship with Sky was over.
For now.
The empty space at the head of the table called out to me like a fog horn. Riley’s absence was playing heavily on my mind. I was concerned and I missed him. I didn’t want to admit that to myself because I didn’t know what it meant.
Riley was great, but did I really have feelings for him? Or was it the sense of familiarity in a new place that drew me towards him so much?
“This is great, Luna,” said Nick around a mouthful of food.
I’d cooked a Chinese buffet for everyone as a thank you. I was just a little saddened that Riley couldn’t taste it with us too.
“Any news on the trap?” I asked.
“No. The grounds are being scouted, but nothing’s come up yet,” said Shane.
The fact that other traps hadn’t been found was a good sign, but not knowing how it got there - or why - didn’t sit well with anyone.
Faye had closed all the curtains in the house before the sun set, but ever since the moon had risen I’d felt fidgety and hotter than before. I was uncomfortable, and my skin irritated the crap out of me. I scratched and scratched at my arms until they were red raw.
“Luna, are you alright?” Lara asked as she pointedly stared at my bright red arms.
My appetite had gone, my plate mostly untouched. I was used to going through the stages of a panic attack, but this felt different. I wanted to tear at my skin, it felt too tight like I was being suffocated.
“Yeah, I just feel really itchy.”
The sounds of cutlery bashing down on plates assaulted my ears. Eyes stared back at me, watching and waiting. Had I missed something?
Nick and Shane were beside me within seconds, lifting me up and carrying me into the living room.
“Uh, guys? What’s going on?”
“A precaution,” said Shane flicking on a little lamp that lightly lit up the room.
“Precaution for…?” I let the question hang in the air.
“Your wolf is trying to get out. Can you feel it?” Nick asked.
“I feel restless is that what you mean?” I asked, beginning to panic. I stood up from the couch. Staying still wasn’t an option I needed to move, to pace, anything.
Nick grabbed hold of me before I got the chance. He gripped onto both of my arms tightly, forcing me to stay. A low rumbling sound worked its way out of my body and I froze.
“How much longer, Faye?” Shane shouted.
She rushed in with Lara and Roxy trailing behind. She held a cup in her hand, and I scowled at her. I didn’t know what was in it, and I definitely wasn’t taking it without an explanation.
I writhed against Nick’s hands, attempting to free myself. A burning sensation was making its way through my body and I couldn’t keep the pain away anymore. I screamed out as loud as I could, willing the fiery agony to escape my body.
“She’s close to changing. Faye, get that in her system now!” Shane’s voice boomed through my ears, and I stilled, petrified at what she was going to do to me.
The sweet smell of strawberries filled my nose and I greedily inhaled the aroma against my better judgement.
“Get ready to catch her.” I heard Faye’s voice fade out to a whisper.
I felt heavy like my body had switched off. The night closed in on my eyes, and forced me into darkness. I felt robbed of my sight as I struggled to see anything.
“You’re safe, Luna. Let your body rest.”*
“Did you manage to get a hold of Riley?” Faye asked.
“Not for long. He hopes to be back soon, and he didn’t sound happy,” said Shane.
“Do you know where he went?” she asked.
“No. He kept us both in the dark.”
I stretched out from where I sat and saw Nick and Shane watching me from across the room. The TV was on low in front of Lara, and Roxy had her nose firmly in a book. Faye sat close to me, concern twisting her features.
“Is everyone alright?” I asked first, afraid of the answer. They nodded. “I’m sorry for growling at you, Nick.” I felt embarrassed for becoming such an animal.
He smirked at me like I’d missed a joke, but I decided to let it go. He obviously wasn’t concerned as much as I was.
“I’m sorry too, Luna.”
“Faye? What do you have to be sorry for?”
“I didn’t give you much credit earlier when I told you you’d be fine.”
I squeezed my brows together, wondering what she was getting at.
“I hadn’t realised how strong your wolf is.”
I shrugged so she’d let it go. “Is that weird?” I asked.
“Of course not! I just didn’t expect you to be as fully developed yet, you know, because you’re a hybrid.”
She wasn’t insulting me. I had to remind myself that I was just as new to their kind as they were to me.
“And you’re sure your fine now? No itchiness? No fidgets?”
I checked over my skin which had returned to normal. I mentally scanned my body, making sure the restlessness had ebbed away. “I’m fine.” I nodded to enforce I’d meant it.
“Then we need to get back to work. The patrols are waiting on us,” said Nick.
“Go! Don’t let me stop you.” I hated that I’d delayed them.
Roxy tore her gaze away from her book to stare at Shane. They didn’t say anything, but a conversation passed between their eyes before he left the room.
“Was that the bond?” I asked, curious. “Riley said your minds are connected. Does that hurt?”
“Oh, no. It’s wonderful, most of the time,” she giggled.
“Most of the time?”
“Have you ever had a thought that you didn’t want others to know?” she asked.
I nodded immediately, thinking of Riley and what I did or didn’t feel for him.
“Well, imagine having that thought read against your will.” She fiddled with the pages of her book, and marked her place before putting it down to continue.
“I love Shane completely, and I love that our connection is strong enough for the bond. Sometimes he feels it’s a burden on me.”
“Why?”
“Because he can’t shelter me from information. He’s co-Beta and that carries a lot of responsibilities, stress is a part of the job, but it’s like he wants to protect me from the world.”
I understood what she’d meant. I couldn’t imagine having my mind connected with someone else, and my secrets readily available. Then again as a married couple they would have shared everything anyway.
“How did you meet?” I asked, interested in hearing their love story.
“I was nineteen at the time, and trying to find my place in the pack.”
“Which pack?” I interrupted.
“London.” Wow. That was quite a distance from here. “Riley was taking care of business with my Alpha. I can still remember that day as if it happened a week ago,” she smiled, her thoughts far away.
“I was outside breathing in the sunshine with my girlfriends. We were chatting and giggling about the latest fashion trends. I
was
in London after all,” she rolled her eyes to the ceiling.
“The moment Shane walked past me, it was like time ceased to exist. All I could see, all I could feel, was him. Gravity pulled me towards him, and in that moment I knew he was the one for me.”
“Was it the same for Shane? The gravity thing I mean,” I clarified. She nodded, certain that it was. “How do you know?” I wasn’t trying to play devil’s advocate, I was genuinely intrigued.
“Through our bond,” she said simply. “After our ceremony, and the fusion of the bond, our thoughts connected and entwined together. Everything we’d ever felt was replayed in our minds.” She rubbed at her stomach, smoothing circles across the front.
“It’s hard to explain, but when I saw Shane something in me clicked. Nobody else would ever be good enough. Shane is my soul mate.”
“What was the London pack like?” I asked.
“Crowded. And the Alpha was a jerk. Of course, at the time I hadn’t realised it.”
“What do you mean?”
“It wasn’t until I came here, that I saw the Alpha for what he was. A greedy bastard.” Her face contorted into anger, and I could see the pain sparkle in her eyes. She was furious.
“What was the difference?” I asked, wondering why coming here made everything different.
“Jackson Ross, my old Alpha, would take most of the packs income for himself. At the time, I just assumed our little earnings were standard because of the size of the pack - there was a lot to share. My parents didn’t question it, so I didn’t either. Riley proved me wrong.”
“How so?”
“Because the bigger the pack, the larger the revenue. Riley pays everyone their fair share, he doesn’t pilfer it for himself. My first pay cheque set the record right.”
Faye and Lara had been quiet during our conversation, but they smiled at each other proudly. It warmed my heart. Riley was loved completely.
“What happened to him?” I asked, hoping his story had ended.
“He’s still there. Unfortunately, some Alpha’s don’t know when to quit.”
I felt a little sad knowing he’d still be stealing money from the people that deserved it, but there wasn’t much I could do about it.
“Going back to the bond, the rest of the time it’s amazing. Especially with sex,” she winked at me, and I blushed, feeling very aware of the temperature of my skin.
“Don’t make Luna uncomfortable now Roxy,” said Faye, picking up on my embarrassment.
“Oh, no. I’m fine, it’s just…”
“Are you a virgin, Luna?” Roxy asked.
“No, well, not exactly.” Everything was coming out wrong, and I couldn’t hide from the fact that my skin was giving me away completely.
“What do you mean, ‘not exactly’?” She waited for my reply.
“It’s a really long story.” My feeble attempt at dropping the subject didn’t work.
“We have time,” she insisted.
I didn’t know where to start. My past was hurtful, and no matter how much therapy I went through, the memory of that day and the ones that followed after still haunted me. I was better, much better, but my pain couldn’t be erased. I could only learn and grow from it, and that’s what I’d been doing for the past five years.
I gathered my nerves, and began my story. It was important for my new family to understand who I was - who I’d been.
“I suffer with anxiety.”
“I thought we were talking about sex?” Lara asked.
“We are, but it’s all connected,” I promised, and I realised it was probably best to just jump in at the deep end. Like ripping off a plaster, the sooner I’d finish the better I’d feel.
“I was sixteen when I gave in to the peer pressures of a public school. My boyfriend, Tomos, and I had been together for a year.” I still remembered the scent of his aftershave. At the time I’d loved it, but even the slightest waft was enough to trigger a bad headache now.
“My parents were away on a business trip.” I took a deep breath before continuing. They watched me, patiently, hanging on every last word. “I was really nervous.” I smiled half-heartedly.
“You don’t have to tell us Luna, it’s alright,” said Faye, but I shook my head.
“No, it’s important you know. I just haven’t told many people so I’m struggling to find the right words.” I admitted. “OK, so, we were kissing and making out, until Tomos began to take his clothes off - and mine too. I literally froze, like I’d been shocked.” I recalled, remembering that his cold hands had caused goose bumps on my skin, which reminded me of what we were about to do.
“He calmed me down, and told me we’d take things slowly - which we did. The tension eased from my body until he hovered above me, and tried to enter me. I screamed out in pain and he stopped instantly.” Quiet gasps escaped their mouths.
“We tried again, like maybe it was the initial shock that was the problem. It wasn’t. I was a mess, a tear-stained, pathetic mess. I couldn’t get over the fact that I was obviously a poor excuse of a woman if I couldn’t have sex. Tomos comforted me, told me it was OK, and that we’d try another time. I believed him, and when he’d left in time for his curfew I put it behind me.” The worst was over, but the story wasn’t.
“I wouldn’t beat yourself up over it, Luna. Our first time is never easy,” said Lara.
“I’m not finished yet,” I sighed, remembering all too well what happened next. “On the Monday back in school, the rumour mill had cranked and started to spread shit everywhere. Tomos had told them everything, and suddenly I was bullied with a lot of heckling. Even my so-called friends had joined in.” That had stung. That was when I’d realised that they hadn’t really been friends, and that they’d only been interested in my friendship for the sake of my parent’s wealth.
“What pathetic low life’s! Inconsiderate arseholes! Did it get better?” Roxy asked.
“It went on for weeks including the entire time I did my GCSE exams. I remember sitting in the hall with my maths exam paper in front of me. The seats and desks had been arranged in aisles, and as often as the invigilators walked past it didn’t stop everyone from whispering comments at me. I ignored them at first, trying my best to concentrate on the test. I thought I was coping really well, until they began chanting in unison. Yelling at me that I should use my parents money to learn how sex works.”
I took another deep breath as the humility and embarrassment replayed in my mind.
“The summer that followed was when problems with my health started.”
I’d never forgotten the first time I’d panicked when I needed to leave the house. At the time I thought I was a little doolally because I was only going to the shops - a place I’d been regularly - but my body’s reaction was dreadful.
“My anxiety was a trigger from IBS, which started after the bullying. I couldn’t cope with it, so I wouldn’t leave the house. I won’t go into the nasty details, but my bathroom and I became well-acquainted.”
“That’s terrible, Luna. Did you have professional help?” Faye asked.
I nodded, remembering the days I’d spent researching online for a way out. I was told too often how there wasn’t a ‘cure’, because it was all in my mind. The day I found Dr. Alanna was the day things had changed for the better.
“I went through hypnotherapy.”
“Really? Wow! And that worked?” Lara asked.
“Well, it certainly helped me. I did my A-Levels at home, but I wasn’t really
living
. Hypnotherapy gave me the chance to go to Uni,” I smiled.
The day I’d told my parents I wanted to head back into the world was one of the best ones I’d had. They’d been so happy for me, which was why they’d bought me the house. It was a place of comfort for the days that consumed me with anxiety.
“You’ve achieved so much since then. You must be really proud of yourself,” said Roxy.
“I am. But I’m mostly grateful because I got to do it. That was when I realised I couldn’t take anything for granted again. My world had been turned upside down, and I was determined to prove I could make it better. Through my ability to be strong, I will overcome.” I sank back into the sofa, relieved that I’d gotten through it.
“Is that why you struggle with what you eat?” Faye asked.
“Yeah, I guess certain foods trigger IBS,” I shrugged. I was used to having to watch what I ate. It had been a nuisance, but it had become a part of my daily life. “I still haven’t asked Riley if that’s changed now.”
“It has.” The familiar voice took me by surprise and I spun to look at the doorway. Riley was standing there, leaning against the frame. I had no idea how long he’d been there, and I blushed at the thought of him hearing my embarrassing tale.
Having Riley know how fragile I was in the romantic department wasn’t a bad thing. Though I was more than better at dealing with my anxiety, I still had the occasional moment where it took over.