Need Me (13 page)

“I think he put something in my wine.” She’d told Faith that before, but none of the cops had believed her. “I remember being so woozy when he came at me.
He
had the knife. It was his. When he said he was going to fuck me, something snapped in me. I shoved at him, and he dropped the knife.”

Silence. No, not a full silence. She could hear the steady ticking of a clock. Tick. Tick. Tick. The seconds were sliding by. Sophie wasn’t trying to stop her, not anymore. “I was on my hands and knees. I had the knife. I couldn’t walk…my whole body felt heavy. He-he grabbed me. Screamed that I couldn’t fight him because he’d kill me.” She looked down at her hands. The cast was so big.

“Julianna?” Faith prompted. “What happened next?”

“He wasn’t going to rape me. He’d hurt me enough.” Her gaze lifted again. “I struck out with that knife. He screamed when it cut him.”

Tick. Tick. Tick.
The clock seemed even louder.

“I pulled the knife out of his chest.” Her breath came faster. “I tried to crawl away, but he lunged for me again.” Her fingers flexed. “And I remember bringing up the knife…”

Tick. Tick.

“Did you drive that knife into him thirteen times?” Faith asked.

Julianna flinched. “I don’t remember. I-I can’t remember anything else.”

Faith’s eyes narrowed on her.

“Self-defense,” Sophie said immediately. “This is an absolute clear case of self-defense. My client had to protect herself and she did the only thing that she could—”

Faith held up her hand, stopping Sophie. “You stabbed him twice, that’s what you remember?”

She nodded.

“And his blood got on you when you stabbed him.”

“Yes.” She could see the blood soaking his shirt, dripping from the knife.

“You say you were drugged?”

Her gaze lowered to the surface of the table. The wood was old and scratched. “I think I was. I didn’t feel…right.”

“Maybe that was the rage. I’ve seen people snap. Go crazy with fury and everything around them seems different. They’ve told me the whole world was off when that killing rage hit them.”

Julianna shook her head. “No, no, it wasn’t that. I was
leaving
him.” Killing him hadn’t been her plan.

“Why then?” Faith moved closer. Julianna looked up at her. “You stayed with him for two months. Two months during which…you didn’t sleep with him, but he hurt you.
Your
testimony. You stayed with him, you didn’t flee. You didn’t—”

“Victim blaming,” Sophie snapped. “Faith, you are better than that.”

Faith’s eyelids flickered. “I know my victims. I know all about them. I know about women who stay with fucking psychos because those bastards have beat them down until they think they can’t do anything else. I know about women who take hits again and again because they’re protecting their kids, because they think staying with the monster is better than being alone on the street. I know women of every color and every income who live in fear because there’s some fucking bastard out there swinging his fists…I know those women because my
mother
was one of them.”

Julianna couldn’t take her gaze off the detective.

Faith inclined her head toward her. “I saw the signs with you. The way you tensed when men came too close. The way you seemed to shrink into yourself when you were pressed too hard.” Her jaw hardened. “And you know what my money is on? I think you stayed because you believed you were protecting someone else. Just who were you protecting, Julianna? Who was it?”

“I—” She shook her head.

A knock sounded at the door. Faith turned away. Marched to the door.

“If you want to stay out of a jail cell,” Sophie whispered in Julianna’s ear. “Let me do my job. Stop, for the love of God, just
stop
talking
.
”

When Faith opened the door, a young, uniformed cop stood there. He handed Faith a manila file. She opened it and thumbed through the contents in silence. After a while, she sighed and said, “This changes things.” She looked up and focused on Sophie. “You’ll be getting your own copy of this report soon enough. For now…” She headed back across the room and gave the file to Sophie. “So…just to be clear, we all know that ADA Eastbridge was batshit.”

ADA Eastbridge? Why were they talking about him?

Julianna peered over at that file. She knew that Sophie had gone through hell with the ADA recently—because the guy had been stalking her.

“All of the ADA’s cases are being re-examined,” Faith continued. “And with that re-examination, well, I focused my energy on his most recent cases.”

“
He destroyed evidence,”
Sophie said as she read the report Faith had just given her.

Faith nodded.

“Sophie?” Julianna pressed. “What’s happening?”

Sophie glanced up at her. “You
were
drugged. Eastbridge destroyed the original lab results, probably because he knew no jury would convict you for murder—you couldn’t have been legally responsible. Jeremy gave you so much Zolpidem that I’m actually amazed you woke up at all.”

Zol—what?

“A dosage that strong can kill.” Faith’s voice was grim.

“That bastard Eastbridge,” Sophie snarled. “He destroyed evidence? Falsified reports? Why the hell would he—” She stopped and stared at Julianna in horror. “Because you were my client. Because if the real test results came out, there wouldn’t be a trial. He wanted the trial. Wanted us together…Oh, Julianna, I am so sorry.”

The throbbing in her head was getting worse. So was the nausea. “The wine…it was in the wine?”

“Your glass was shattered, but we examined the rest of the bottle. You were the only one who drank that wine. There was none in Jeremy’s system,” Faith explained.

Because why would he drug himself?

“Where did he get it from?” Sophie wanted to know. “There has to be a trail we can follow. Someone who—”

“His step-daughter, Heather, has trouble sleeping. Night terrors.” Faith’s lips curled in a cold smile. “I learned that last night. She was demanding that we give her the medication she needed. Her—”

“Zolpidem,” Sophie finished.

Faith nodded.

The throbbing in her head was like a drum, banging and banging. Why wouldn’t it stop? “Her drugs? But…but I…killed…” She tried to focus on Faith but black spots danced in front of Julianna’s eyes. She put her hand to her head. “Something…wrong…” Julianna stood, but her legs felt funny. “Dev…?”

“
Julianna!”
Sophie yelled.

Julianna hit the floor.

“Don’t even think of running…because I’d have you before you even made it to the door.”

Julianna blinked, her dark eyes hazy with confusion.

“You’re in the hospital,” Devlin told her, “and you’re staying here for the next twenty-four hours. Even if I have to tie you to that bed.”

She looked at the bed. Frowned. Then looked back at him.

“You passed out at the police station. An ambulance brought you here.” An ambulance he’d ridden in. They needed to get out of the habit of that shit. “You should have stayed here to begin with. You have a concussion. You don’t get to play around with something like that.”

Tears filled her eyes. Hell, no. “Don’t do it,” he snapped at her. “Don’t you dare do that.”

“They…told you what I did.”

Her big confession. “You pissed Sophie off, that’s what you did. When your lawyer tells you to stop talking, you should.”

She shook her head, sending her blonde hair sliding over the pillow. “No, Devlin, you know—”

“That the bastard drugged you? Tried to rape you? Yeah, I know that.” He sure hoped Jeremy Smith was spinning over a fiery pit in hell.

“That I killed him,” she whispered as the machines around her seemed to go wild.

Then she stared at him with wide, desperate eyes. Waiting for—what? Him to storm out? He bent forward and brushed back her hair. “Calm down, baby. The stress isn’t good for you.”

“D-did you hear me? I said—”

“He drugged you. He was going to rape you. You defended yourself.” He shook his head. “That’s not cold-blooded murder. That’s survival.”

Her lower lip trembled, but she caught it with her teeth, stopping that movement.

“You think I don’t know you’ve been living in a nightmare?” Devlin asked her. “You think I didn’t see the signs? I know, baby.
I know
. And I wish that I could take away all of your pain. I wish that I could make every fucking thing better for you. I wish…hell, yeah, I even wish that I
had
met you before you got tangled up with Jeremy. I would tell you to stay away from that bastard. Maybe I’d even kill him myself.”

She grabbed his hand. “No.”

He stared into her eyes. Eyes that were open and on his. He could see the flecks of gold in her gaze. He’d been watching over her, for hours. Tensing with every little movement. And realizing that he was in far, far too deep with her. And if he was this bad now…what would it be like a year from now? Two years?

She’ll have all of me. Even my soul.

“I would kill to protect you. I would eliminate any threat to you.” He thought she needed to know that. “So you seriously think I’d judge you for surviving? That I’d turn away from you? The fuck, no. The fact that you fought to survive makes me…it makes me want you even more.”

She shook her head. “I’m going to jail.”

“No.” Not happening. “Sophie is in a meeting with the district attorney now. He knows that Clark Eastbridge screwed the evidence, and in light of all the facts emerging…she thinks he’ll want to get this case out of the public eye as soon as possible. You’re the victim, Julianna. Not the deadly femme fatale.”

“I’m not either one.” Her gaze fell. “I’m just…me.”

His fingers slid under her chin. “Things are going to get better now. Faith has Hugh Bounty in custody.”

A furrow appeared between her brows.

“Heather’s boyfriend,” he told her. “The guy with the explosive’s experience.” The guy at the top of his suspect list for the car bombing
and
the attack at her home. What Devlin wouldn’t give to get that guy alone…

Too bad the fellow was currently surrounded by a dozen cops.

“Why was he in my house?”

“He was looking for something. Faith told me the upstairs area of the estate had been trashed.” He rolled his shoulders. “Maybe he thought he could steal some jewelry or some cash. I’m sure Heather gave him the full layout of the place, and when the cops arrived, the bedroom safe was open.”

“He said I…wasn’t supposed to be there.”

Maybe the bastard knew I was guarding you.

“You’re safe,” he told her and those words were a vow. “I’m with you, Julianna, and I’m not going any place.”

Her hand squeezed his. “You should. You should run from me.”

Not happening. “Baby, I—”

A knock sounded at the door. Then, seconds later, the door squeaked open. A woman poked her head inside, a woman with pale skin, blue eyes, and long, red hair. She stared at Julianna with shock on her face and fear in her eyes.

“Carly?” Julianna tried to sit up. “You shouldn’t be here. You—”

Carly stepped into the room. Then she ran to the bed. She grabbed Julianna and held her tight. “Ethan called me,” she said. “He told me…I’m so sorry! This is my fault. It’s all my fault.”

Julianna curled her arm around Carly as Devlin watched the two women. So this was the step-sister. The one Julianna had sacrificed so much for.

“It should have been me,” Carly said, squeezing Julianna even tighter. “
Me.”

The machines were even louder, beeping even faster.

Devlin put his hand on Carly’s arm and pulled her away from the bed. She frowned at him. “Who are you?”

“I’m—” Shit, how was he supposed to answer that? Julianna’s lover? Her bodyguard? Both?

“He’s a friend,” Julianna said.

His brows snapped together at that response. He was more. Dammit.

“Carly, you shouldn’t be here,” Julianna said. “You don’t want to get pulled into this mess. I told you when the DA first filed charges…
stay away.
”

Carly’s body was tense. “You didn’t tell me that you stayed with that bastard because of me! That he was blackmailing you! I’ll go to the cops! I’ll tell them—”

“Yeah, you’re sisters,” Devlin muttered.

Carly’s brows wrinkled.

“You’ll incriminate Ethan,” Julianna said. “You’ll destroy everything you’ve built.”

“How is that different from what’s happening to you?” Carly demanded. “It’s not and—”

Julianna’s cheeks were flushed. Her heart beat too fast.

“That’s it.” He caught Carly’s wrist and dragged her from the room.

“Dev!” Julianna called after him.

He didn’t stop. He pulled Carly into the hallway and shut the door behind them. “You don’t do that.”

She backed up a step.

Okay, shit, he should go easier. She was Julianna’s family but…Julianna was
everything.
“She’s got a concussion. The woman fucking hates the hospital as it is. She has to stay calm and you can’t upset her.”

Carly slid back another step. “Who are you again?”

“I’m the man with Julianna.” He thought that said it all. “And no one is going to upset her, got it? So that means you don’t talk about going to the cops right now.” Had he seriously just said that? He had. “We clear this situation up, one problem at a time.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a VJS card. “Go talk to them. Ask for Chance or Lex. They’ll get you taken care of until Julianna is out of the hospital.”

Her fingers curled around the card. “Julianna told you…everything, didn’t she?”

He stared back at her. “I’m not the cops. I’m—”

“The man with Julianna. Right.” She tucked the card in her pocket. “I’m sorry.” Her voice was quiet. Hushed. “If I’d known, I would have turned myself in. I never would have let her get hurt for me.”

He believed her. “She was protecting you.”

“Who protects her?”

I do.
From now on, that would be his job.

He turned away and reached for the door.

***

Julianna has been hurt so much. Too much.
Carly Shay hurried toward the elevator. The last thing she’d ever wanted was to hurt Julianna and now—

The elevator doors opened.

Carly rushed inside and she hit…someone. Warm, strong hands flew up and wrapped around her shoulders. “Excuse me,” she said, glancing up quickly. “I didn’t mean—”

Ethan. Ethan Freaking Barclay.

Carly tried to step back, but he pulled her closer. The elevator doors shut behind her, sealing her inside that too small space with him.

“Carly,” he said and his voice was that perfect, dark temptation that she remembered. A temptation that she’d given into, once.

He was different now, though. The years had made him—harder? His face was sharper and his eyes were still that incredible gold, but they were glinting with angry emotion. Fury and—

“I guess the scars show I’m as twisted on the outside as I am on the inside,” he told her.

Scars?

Her gaze slid over his face. Now she realized that he
did
have scars. Two slashes, one across each cheek. She’d been staring into his eyes—she’d never seen anyone else with golden eyes like his—and she hadn’t even noticed those scars at first. “You aren’t twisted,” she said, the words coming before she even realized it.

But then, she’d always had a problem with Ethan. He made her want to do things, feel things, that she shouldn’t.

And I shouldn’t be here with him now.
His touch was singeing her. She was reminded of the girl she’d been before. So wild and reckless.

Not the woman she was now.
Control. Control is key. Always.
Because if she lost her control, she’d lose everything.

“I knew you’d come for Julianna.” He shook his head. His fingers slid down her arm in a caress, and then he let her go. “You two, you’d really do anything for each other, wouldn’t you?” His hand shot out and he hit a button on the control panel. The elevator stopped.

“Do you know how many years it has been since I last saw you?” Ethan asked her.

She did. She knew the years. She knew the days. She knew the sleepless nights. Did he know that, once upon a time, she’d been in the psych ward, calling for him?

Control is key.
“I haven’t been hiding, Ethan. I’ve been working and living in New York. It was easy enough for you to find my number and call me—”

“When you were seventeen, I was ready to kill for you.”

He
had
killed for her. He’d driven that knife in the last inch to end the life of the bastard who’d hurt them both so much.

“
You
saved us back then” Ethan said. A muscle flexed in his jaw. “I owed you for that. So I stood back and let you walk away.”

She hadn’t walked. She’d run. Full speed ahead.

“Am I supposed to let you do that again?” His hand lifted and slid under the curtain of her hair. “I missed you…”

His voice was so low. Maybe he hadn’t actually said those words. Maybe—

He kissed her.

***

“Julianna!”

Her head snapped up at Devlin’s cry. She was standing on the side of the bed, yanking at the cords that connected her to all of the machines and trying to fight her way to the door.

He ran toward her. “Baby, what part of taking-it-easy are you having trouble with?”

“I have to see Carly!”

“No. You have to get better. You have to worry about
you.
” His hands curled around her. He lifted her up easily and sat her right back in bed. “You’re staying here until the docs say you’re clear. Carly is fine. She’s going to VJS, and the team there will take care of her.”

“She shouldn’t be here. She needs to go back home!”

“No.” He shook his head. “This is exactly where she needs to be. You aren’t going to suffer for her ever again and her secrets—they’re going to come out, sooner or later.”

But he didn’t know all of Carly’s secrets. Even Julianna didn’t know them all.

“Right now, my focus is on you. Your safety. Your life.
That’s
what matters to me.” He sat on the edge of the bed, caging her with his hands. He leaned in close. “What the hell do you think I felt like when they rushed you out of that interrogation room and you were unconscious?”

“I-I don’t know.”

His jaw hardened. “We need to get a few things straight.”

She needed to get out of that hospital room.

“You matter to me.”

Her brows shot up. He’d almost said those words like they were some kind of accusation.

“It happened too fast and I’m in way too deep with you, but you
matter.
” His breath heaved out. “So, for me, will you
please
stay in bed until the doctor releases you?”

Her hands were against his chest. Her right hand—and the cast—rested over his heart. “What else do we need to get straight?”

He frowned at her.

“You said a few things,” she whispered. “What else was there?”
You matter.
Did he realize just how much he was coming to mean to her? He kept learning her secrets and not flinching away. He was learning all about her—good and bad, mostly bad—but still standing steadfast at her side.

She hadn’t planned to get involved with him. But sometimes, life wasn’t about plans. It was about desires. Needs.

“No more running from me in the middle of the night. If demons chase you, come to me.”

She stared into his bright blue gaze, unable to look away.

“Come to me,” he said again, “because I’ll be there for you, I fucking swear it.”

***

The kiss was everything that it
shouldn’t
have been. Hot. Wild. Consuming. The years fell away and Carly felt the same intense desire stir within her. A desire that had scared her years before…and still scared her then.

Carly jerked away from Ethan. Her fist hit the button on the control panel and the elevator started moving again.

“That’s good to know,” Ethan said. Confident, sexy Ethan.

She’d known him well years before. But now…now he was a stranger to her.
A stranger I shouldn’t want.

“Some things have happened in my life recently,” Ethan said. “They’ve made me reevaluate a few things. You’re one of those things.”

Her laughter was bitter. Right. Like Ethan cared about her. Never had, never would. She knew he’d had a fiancée, had far too many lovers. So
maybe
she did keep track of him a bit. And that stalker-shit wasn’t healthy.

Ethan Barclay wasn’t healthy. “I’m not here for you,” Carly told him. The elevator doors opened. Thank goodness. “I’m here for Julianna. You need to stay away from me, and I’ll do you the same courtesy.” Because they were too dangerous together. Far, far too dangerous.