Never Be Lied to Again (17 page)

These techniques can be difficult to escape because they're based on psychological principles of human nature.

The good news is that these tactics are a lot like a magic trick. Once you know how the trick is done, you can't be fooled.

R U L E 1

Wow! You're Just Like Me

We all tend to like, trust, and subsequently be influenced by people like ourselves. We feel a sense of connection and understanding. If you've been to a casino recently, you may have noticed something interesting on every employee's name tag. It looks a lot like this:

Jim Smith

V. P., Marketing

Atlanta, GA

The employee's hometown is right on the tag. Why?

Because it helps to create a bond with anyone who has lived there or maybe has a relative in that area. It invariably starts a conversation and the gambler begins to feel connected with this person. Something as innocuous as a name tag has created instant rapport and possibly a loyal customer.

You may be thinking that this seems harmless enough, and you'd be right. What's the big deal, anyway? Well, if all that was affected by this psychological trait was name tags, then we wouldn't have to worry. But it's not. It's much more pervasive and far-reaching than you could ever imagine.

Listing all the situations in which this rule could be used on you would fill a book on its own. Therefore, here are the three most popular ways that it infiltrates our lives.

1. Watch out when you're asked about your hobbies, hometown, values, favourite foods, etc., only to be followed with the obligatory "Me too, what a coincidence."

2. Another aspect of this rule is that if someone is nice to us, we not only like him more but are more likely to agree with him. Don't you know this to be true in your own life?

If he's agreeing to everything you say, whether or not it makes sense, watch out. The phrase "flattery will get you nowhere" couldn't be further from the truth.

A great little fable by Aesop illustrates this nicely. It's called "The Fox and the Crow."

A fox spied a crow sitting on a branch of a tall tree with a golden piece of cheese in her beak. The fox, who was both clever and hungry, quickly thought of a plan to get the cheese away from the crow.

Pretending to notice the crow for the first time, the fox exclaimed, "My, what a beautiful bird! I must say that is the most elegant black plumage I have ever seen. Look how it shines in the sun. Simply magnificent!"

The crow was flattered by all this talk about her feathers.

She listened to every sugary word that the fox spoke. The fox continued: "I must say that this is the most beautiful bird in the world. But I wonder, can such a stunning bird have an equally splendid voice? That," said the cunning fox, "would be too much to ask." The crow, believing the fox's words, opened her beak to let out an ear-piercing
caw\

As she did so, the cheese tumbled out of her mouth and was gobbled up instantly by the fox. The moral: never trust a flatterer.

Does this mean that you should be wary of every single compliment and always assume the one who compliments you has an ulterior motive? Of course not. Just be alert to praise that drips with insincerity.

3. Finally, remember our discussion about rapport in part 2? Well, it can just as easily be used on you. Rapport creates trust. It allows the other to build a psychological bridge to you. You feel more comfortable and your gulli-bility increases. Take note if your movements, rate of speech, or tone are echoed by another.

R U L E 2

Beware the Stranger Bearing Gifts

Ever wonder why religious groups offer a flower or some other gift in the airport? They know that most people will feel compelled to give them a small donation. We know we don't have to, but we can become uncomfortable, even though we didn't ask for the gift in the first place.

When someone gives us something, we often feel indebted to him. When you are presented with a request, make sure that you're not acting out of a sense of obligation. This rule can take many forms—it's not limited to gifts. You could be offered information, a concession, or even someone's time. Don't think that salespeople don't know that if they invest a lot of time with you, showing you a product, demonstrating how it works, you will feel somewhat obligated to buy it, even if you're not sure that you really want it. The key is to decide what's right independent of the other person's interest in your decision.

R U L E 3

It's Half Price! But Half of What?

This principle states that facts are likely to be interpreted differently based upon the order in which they're presented.

In other words, we compare and contrast. In an electronics store the salesperson might show you accessories to go with your stereo system
after
you've agreed to buy it. Somehow the fifty-dollar carrying case and a thirty-dollar warranty doesn't seem that much in the wake of an eight-hundred-dollar system. Because he has shown you the costlier items first, your perspective shifts and the items seen afterwards are deemed more reasonable.

A less-than-reputable used car salesman might show you several cars that are priced 20 to 30 percent higher than they should be. Then he'll show you a car that's priced fairly and you'll think it's a great deal. To you, it feels as if you're getting more car for the money—what a bargain! When really you only think that because you're comparing it to the other cars.

Other examples of this principle are price markdowns.

An item that's been reduced from $500 to $200 certainly seems like a better bargain than something that sells for $150. The contrast on the sale item makes it more attractive, even if it's not as nice as the item that sells for less. "I know it's expensive, but look at what it used to sell for" is the familiar retort.

In some of the finer restaurants, guests are treated to sorbet between courses. This is done to clear the palate.

Flavours from previous dishes won't mix with others, so that each dish may be enjoyed completely. When you have, a decision to make, why not clear your mental palate? To do this you need only consider each decision by itself. This can best be accomplished by letting time pass between decisions and by independently determining the value of the object.

R U L E 4

Just Do This One Little Thing for Me?

Know when to stick to your guns and when not to. Most of us have a strong tendency to act in a manner consistent with our previous actions—even if it's not a good idea. It's just human nature. We are compelled to be consistent in our words, thought, beliefs, and actions.

It has to do with the ability to make a decision independent of previous decisions. And the higher a person's self-esteem, the greater the chance that he or she will make independent decisions. The following, which is from my book
Instant Analysis,
deals with this phenomenon. If you have a low or negative self-image, then you feel more compelled to justify your previous actions so you can be "right."

You will eat food that you don't want because you ordered it. You will watch a video that you really don't want to see because you went "all the way to the video store in the rain to get it." You continually try to "make things right,"

justifying old actions with consistent behaviour. In other words, watching the video that you went to get makes getting the video the smart thing to do, even if you no longer feel like watching it.

Your primary concern is with being right, even if it means compromising present judgment in order to satisfy and justify past behaviours. This is done in the hope that you can turn things around so that you can be right.

The ultimate example of this behaviour is the process of cult recruiting. You may wonder how an intelligent and aware person could ever get involved in a cult—where the members give up family, friends, possessions, and in some very sad instances, their lives. The higher a person's self-esteem, the less likely he or she will be to fall prey to a cult—primarily because a person with a positive self-image can admit to himself, and to others, that he's done something stupid. Those who lack self-worth cannot afford to question their judgment, worth, or intelligence. The method employed in cult recruitment is to involve the person slowly over a period of time. Each new step of involvement forces the person to justify his or her previous behaviour. This is why cultists don't just walk up to someone and say, "Hey, do you want to join our cult and give up all of your possessions?"

This rule can greatly influence your decision-making process. Essentially, by getting you to agree to small, seem-ingly innocuous requests, the person sets you up for something larger. By agreeing to the small requests, you justify your behaviour by realigning your thinking as follows: "I must really care about this person or I wouldn't be helping him" and "I must really care about this cause or I wouldn't be doing any of this."

To avoid others using this rule on you, beware if you are asked to commit to something, even in a small way. This request is usually followed by a slightly greater request, and over time your sense of commitment is built up to the point where you feel locked into your decision.

When you make decisions, notice if your best interests are being served or if you're simply trying to "make right"

a previous behaviour.

R U L E 5

The Bandwagon Effect

This principle states that we have a tendency to see an action as appropriate if other people are doing it. This psychological trait invades many areas of our life. Laugh tracks for television comedy shows come courtesy of this principle as well.

Do we think that something is funnier if others are laughing? Absolutely. Your neighbour, whom you never looked at twice, suddenly appears more attractive when you're told that every woman is dying to date him. Cherry red—the colour that the car salesman told you is the hottest seller of the season—suddenly becomes a must-have. The key to avoiding the influence of this rule is to separate your level of interest from other people's desire. Just because you're told that something is the latest, best, hottest, or biggest seller doesn't make it right for you.

R U L E 6

A White Lab Coat Doesn't Make

Anyone an Expert

Of all the psychological tools, this is by far the most used and abused by retailers. We all remain to some degree quite susceptible to our earlier conditioning regarding authority—

mainly, it is to be respected. This is fine, except that the abuses of our vulnerability are flagrant and rampant. Have you ever noticed what cosmetic salespeople in department stores wear? Lab coats! Does this not seem odd? Why do they wear them? Because it makes them look like experts.

And we are more likely to believe what they have to say because they are perceived as more credible.

Recently my friend had told me that he had rented the absolute worst movie he had ever seen in his life. When I asked what possessed him to rent it, he replied, "The guy behind the counter told me I would like it." As soon as he said this, he realized how silly he had been. What on earth does the guy behind the counter know about my friend or his taste in movies? Just because someone's behind a counter, wearing a lab coat, or holding a clipboard, that doesn't make him an expert.

R U L E 7

Rare Doesn't Always Mean Valuable

This principle states that the harder something is to acquire, the greater the value we place on its attainment. In essence, we want what we can't have and want what is hard to obtain even more.

"We're probably out of stock on that item. It's a huge seller. But if I did have one available, you would want it, right?" There's a better chance you would say yes when the possibility of attainment is at its lowest.

Compare the above sentence with the following one and see if you would be as apt to agree to the purchase: "We have a warehouse full of them. Should I write up the order now?" The impetus to act just isn't there this time. No urgency, no scarcity, and no desire. The key to avoid this rule being used on you is to ask yourself this question: would I still want it if there were a million just like it and no one wanted any of them?

R U L E 8

A Colour Pie Chart Doesn't Make It True

Benjamin Disraeli put it best when he said, "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics." It never ceases to amaze me just how easily swayed we become by something that "looks" official. Just because someone points to a colour graph as "proof" doesn't make everything he's saying true. Don't be swayed by the mode of the message— rather, focus on the message itself. How many of us listen to a salesman's pitch, only to be presented with a nice colour brochure outlining everything that's just been said? At what point did we come to believe that the printing press doesn't lie?

There's an old saying that goes "Nobody ever sells a horse because it's a bad horse. They sell it for tax purposes." Often we don't stop and ask ourselves, "Does this make sense?"

A dash of common sense can go a long, long way.

R U L E 9

I'm on Your Side

This technique is used to gain credibility. When it is done effectively, you would swear that you've just made a new best friend who has only your best interest at heart. For this rule, he manufactures a scenario to gain your trust, then uses this trust in a real-life situation.

For example, let's say that you're in a mattress store and considering buying the Super Deluxe—a firm, top-of-the-line bed. The salesman tells you that if you want it he'll order it for you, but he feels you should know something first. He proceeds to tell you that while the consumer would never realize it, this manufacturer sometimes uses recycled materials on the inside.

What has he accomplished by this? He has gained your complete confidence. He's risking a sale to tell you something that you'd never find out otherwise. Now you'll be inclined to trust anything he says. At this point he shows you the Supreme Deluxe. It's priced slightly higher than your first choice, but has no used materials inside.