Never Been Ready (22 page)

We ordered a line of shots and set them in front of us on the table.

"Okay, I'll go first. Never have I ever..." She looked at me, a devious smile spreading across her lips, before she said, "Shaved my balls."

I nearly choked on my own tongue, as laughter rolled out of me. I gave her a hard stare and took my first shot.

"I knew it!" she said proudly. "It was either that, or you were sneaking away for ritual waxing sessions. I didn't want to have to go kill a bitch for touching your junk. Thank you by the way. My girlie bits really appreciate the effort," she said with a wink.

I shook my head, laughing, before firing off my question. "Never have I ever...laughed so hard that I peed my pants."

It was cruel, but she had just called me out on my manscaping in the middle of a bar, so I figured she deserved some payback. I already knew the answer to the question, having heard her and Clare laughing and reminiscing one night over a bottle of rum.

She gave me a look and took her shot. "That's so not fair. I'm pretty sure guys can't even do that."

"I wouldn't know since I can hold my bladder," I teased.

"It was college, and I was drunk!" she said defensively.

I nearly fell out of my chair, laughing. "Maybe we should cut you off then!"

"Oh, I have one! Never have I ever been arrested," she said with a cocky grin.

I took a moment, letting her sweat it out, before grabbing the shot and letting it burn down my throat. She stood and did a little dance of triumph, squealing, before sitting down.

"Every bad boy has to have a back story, so spill it, Hotshot."

"It was only once —disorderly conduct at a party. I was in high school, and my dad got me out without much fuss. It was all very uneventful. But it did make me quite popular for a few weeks." I grinned. "Does it make me sexier, Leah?"

"Well, it would have been hotter if it were a bar brawl or something, but it will do."

I shook my head, chuckling. "I'll try harder next time. Okay, my turn. Never have I ever experimented with someone of the same sex."

She hesitated for a second before saying, "It was only once," and then she downed the shot.

"Holy shit...I want details. Now."

"College. Clare and I had a third roommate our sophomore year, and one night, when we got a little too drunk, we...well —"

"What? You, what?" I asked, hanging on every word.

"Oh my God, Declan, I'm fucking with you." She laughed. "It was worth the shot though."

"You're going to pay for that one," I promised.

"Can't wait, Hotshot. My turn," she said.

"Nope. I get to go again because you cheated."

"Okay, fair enough. Go ahead."

"Never have I ever...TP'd a house."

She quickly took her shot and then said, "Seriously? They didn't TP houses in your uppity neighborhood?"

"Nope."

"Well, shit. I just figured out what we are doing for the Leah part of the evening!"

~Leah~

The cashier at the twenty-four-hour grocery store gave us quite a look when we checked out with two entire carts filled with toilet paper and nothing else. We tried not to laugh, but I was sure she suspected our devious plans. She didn't say a thing though as she quietly rang up our purchase.

We wheeled our two carts to the limo and loaded the back. The limo driver never said a word. He just opened the trunk, and when that was packed full, he helped us throw packs of toilet paper in the backseat with us. I hoped Declan would tip him well for putting up with our drunken madness. We sat in the back amidst the piles of toilet paper as I gave the directions to our victim's house. We spent the car ride unwrapping each roll, so they would be ready to go. We made sure the driver parked across the street before we pulled up near the house. No lights were on, and no cars were parked in the front, making me think the owners were out enjoying the night's festivities.

"Whose house are we at anyway?" Declan asked as we finished unwrapping the toilet paper.

The floor of the once pristine limo was now covered in plastic wrappers and pretty white rolls of toilet paper.
Classy.

"My ex-boyfriend, Daniel. This is the house he bought with his wife, the woman he started dating a week after he left me. I've always wanted to do something really juvenile to him for walking out when Ethan got sick, so this is the perfect opportunity."

"Do you want me to just punch him instead? Because I'd be really happy to do that. We could just save the toilet paper. I'm sure we could stockpile it in the event of a nuclear war."

"No, this will be way more fun. Besides, if he hadn't left me, I'd probably be out somewhere with him, listening to his boring stories about his job or what he did at the gym. He did me a favor," I said.

"That might be true, but I'd still like to kick his ass," he agreed before bending his head to place a tender kiss on my lips. "Well, why don't you come help me cover his house in ass paper instead?" I whispered.

"Gladly."

We quietly exited the limo, making sure to close the door as softly as possible. The driver, Max, actually volunteered to help us. He was a pretty cool guy. He was in his late fifties with salt-and-pepper hair and a Harley Davidson attitude that didn't quite match the suit attire he was wearing for the evening. We thanked him but declined, not wanting him to lose his job if we got caught.

Daniel and his wife, Mindy, might not be home, but that didn't mean their neighbors weren't. I zipped up my jacket, trying to ward off the cold and cover up the white tank I had on underneath. Luckily, we had both worn dark clothing, so we faded into the night fairly easily. January was cold on the East Coast, and New Year's Eve was no exception. I could see my breath puffing out in front of me as we made our way across the street, our arms loaded with rolls of fluffy white toilet paper. The frosted grass crunched under our steps.

"So, is this a crime? Could we get tossed into jail for this?" Declan asked quietly.

"Mmm, I don't know," I whispered back.

"That would be an interesting headline —Hollywood Actor Arrested for Vandalism. Weapon of Choice? Toilet Paper."

When we got to the middle of Daniel's front yard, we dumped our load, and I started giving directions. "Okay, let's do the trees first. You need to give yourself a bit of a lead, pull some out...there you go...and then chuck the roll over the limb."

We both hurled our rolls over the tree branches and watched them land on the other side. Giving each other goofy grins, we raced to the other side and grabbed our rolls to repeat the process. In a matter of minutes, we had the trees covered in white. It was the worst re-creation of a white Christmas ever.

For Daniel's beautifully decorated bushes, I stuffed wads of toilet paper in between the branches, like little paper flowers. Those would be a bitch to pull out in the morning, especially if they got wet and frosted over. I might have snickered a bit as I hopped from bush to bush. Last was the house. I really wanted to get the rolls on the house, but I didn't think I could throw that far.

"Hey, do you think you can throw a roll over and clear the house?"

Declan gave me a look that said I should never doubt him as he grabbed a roll and took a few steps back. He let it sail, clearing the house and leaving a brilliant white streak over the top of the roof.

"Yes! Now, do that twenty more times!" I said quietly, jumping up and down.

He silently laughed, doing as I'd asked, taking every last roll we had and throwing them over the roof. Just as the last roll cleared the roof, I heard a nearby house explode in an array of voices, all chanting, at what must have been a party as they started counting down.

"It's almost midnight!" I said excitedly.

"Well then, you better get your ass over here and kiss me."

I ran to him and jumped into his arms, wrapping my legs around him, just as the voices got to one.

Everyone at the party nearby yelled, "Happy New Year!" at the same time my lips met Declan's.

His fingers curled into my hair as he devoured me. Every part of me was freezing, but my lips felt like they were on fire the minute they'd touched his.

I could have stayed like that forever, ringing in the New Year in Declan's arms, but as I did, I noticed the voices from the party starting to grow louder. Declan must have heard them as well because he pulled back. We looked around and saw the neighbor's party was spilling out onto the lawn. A few of them were pointing to our toilet-paper masterpiece.

"Oh shit! We better go!" I said, laughing.

We ran to the limo, and Max took off just before Daniel's neighbor made it across the street. We were both laughing so hard, and I couldn't breathe.

"Well, there is one thing I am absolutely sure of. Life with you will never be dull."

"Right back at you, Hotshot."

Now, if we could just figure out how to rearrange the states, so Virginia and California shared a border. Then, we wouldn't have a single care in the world.

~Leah~

"Not only have you ruined me for other men, but you've seriously ruined flying for me as well. I'm not going to be able to fly anything less than first class from now on." I snuggled into the oversized leather seat as I pulled the plush blanket tighter around my lap.

This was how flying should be. No one had stepped on my feet, knocked my elbows with a cart, or kicked the back of my chair. It was bliss.

"I've ruined you for all other men?" Declan grinned.

"Shit, you weren't supposed to know that."

"Really? Why? I'm very happy, knowing you're inevitably ruined for all eternity for all other men but me," he bragged.

"See? Exactly. You're already too cocky as it is. Too much more and your head will explode. Then, where will I be?"

He gave me a lopsided grin and leaned over to kiss my shoulder, which was very much looking forward to seeing the sun for the first time in months. While it wasn't hot in January in California, it definitely wasn't winter-coat weather. Declan had promised to take me to the beach and the Walk of Fame. He'd even said he would take me shopping in Beverly Hills. Dating a movie star definitely had its perks.

When the flight attendant came on the intercom and announced our final descent into LAX, I squealed like a schoolgirl. I'd never been to the West Coast. Hell, I'd barely made it out of Virginia. Staying across the country for a few days was definitely the most adventurous thing I had ever done.

"It's a shame you're not excited," Declan teased.

I stuck my tongue out at him, and he laughed.

"Shut up. Give me a moment, and I will go back to calm-and-collected Leah. I promise that I won't embarrass you when all your adoring fans meet us at the gate."

"I'm afraid TV and movies have lied to you a bit on that. For the most part, rabid fans and paparazzi don't hang out at the airport. It's a waste of time to sit around, hoping a celebrity will come in on a flight. They go where the tips are, so we should be able to cruise in without a problem."

"So, I get you all to myself for a little longer?"

"Yep," he answered, grinning.

"Good."

I leaned over and kissed him far too deeply for public, but I didn't care. Everyone in first class was either asleep or too wrapped up in his or her own business to pay attention to us. I wanted nothing more than to enjoy the feel of Declan's lips on mine.

A few minutes later, our plane landed smoothly, and we did the first thing everyone does nowadays when the wheels hit the pavement. We both reached down to our stowed bags under our seats and immediately turned on our phones. I looked around, and every single person was doing the same thing. Checking out from the world for several hours should seem like a present, but we'd all grabbed our phones like our lives depended on it, making sure the world was exactly the same as we'd left it.

My iPhone finished booting up, and I had a funny text from Clare and a few emails. Declan's phone beeped. I saw him pull up several text messages, and then he cursed.

"What is it?" I asked, concerned.

"Looks like I've been outed on the Internet by someone who saw us on the plane. My publicist says a few cameras are waiting for us at baggage claim. Sorry, babe. It's not quite the quiet introduction to Cali you were hoping for."

"It's okay. It was bound to happen anyway. Might as well dive right in. Do you want me to hang back and let you go first?" I asked, not knowing how this whole press thing worked.

I didn't know if he wanted us
out
or not. I was honestly fine with either. I didn't know the life he had to deal with, and I didn't want to cause further stress by forcing him into something.

"What are you talking about? You will walk with me, always with me. Got it?"

I nodded, watching him bring my hand to his lips in a sweet gesture, before we had to exit the plane. We made our way off the plane and through the gate. A few fans were waiting for him. Apparently, passengers from other flights had found out about Declan's arrival. He immediately wrapped his arm around me as he greeted them, making his taken status very obvious. Even when he leaned over to sign a few autographs, he still held my hand.