Never Been Ready (20 page)

Declan was laughing and nodding his head.

Traitor.

Almost immediately after saying it, Clare returned to the family room with a ton of photo albums, nearly skipping in her purple sweater dress and heels.

"Come on, everyone gather together! Let's see how cute I was!" she beamed.

Logan joined her on the floor in the middle of the living room. He pulled her onto his lap, and she began to sort through the albums. I rose from my seat on the sofa and begrudgingly planted my ass next to them on the floor, next to my traitorous boyfriend who was still on the floor from getting his ass kicked in Uno. He was currently leaning over to sneak a peek at whatever Clare was looking at.

Garrett, seeing he had no choice in the matter, also made his way down to the floor, lying down next to his sister, as she started on the first album. Clare's father sat behind us in his ancient recliner, chuckling as Clare flipped through the pages. I could hear her mother humming away in the kitchen as she prepared dinner. As much as I'd groaned, it was nice to sit here, flipping through happy young memories. All of the good parts of my childhood were in these pages, under this roof, and with this family.

"Here's one of Leah from...oh, junior prom!"

Before I had time to grab it, Declan snatched it up in his hands.

"You were just as hot back then," he said with a smirk before frowning. "Who's the dude?"

"Oh, uh...Scott Evans. We dated for a few months that year. He was the quarterback, and I was a cheerleader. Looked good on paper, but it was a disaster in real life."

"Looks like a moron," Declan said.

"Are you jealous of a boy I dated over ten years ago?" I was seriously amused.

"No," he grunted. "Yes."

I laughed and squeezed his arm. "If it makes you feel better, he flunked out of college and works part-time at a shoe store in the mall. Oh, and he still lives with his mom."

"Marginally better, thanks." He grinned.

We looked through more high school pictures and then got to college. Clare's hand stopped when she found a picture of her and Ethan from their first Thanksgiving. Their beaming young faces were mushed together in an exuberant hug. He looked happy, healthy, and full of life —exactly like I always wanted to remember him. Ethan, like me, hadn't had a place to call home, and he'd spent all his holidays with us after he started dating Clare. The Finnegans had opened their home to many people over the years —taking me, Ethan, Logan, and now Declan, it appeared, into their family. They were the very best kind of people.

Logan's fingers wrapped around his wife's, and he held her, knowing that even though she was happy in his arms, the man she'd lost would always be close to her heart.

"You okay?" he asked.

We all watched on, ready to help her through the grief if needed. She nodded as a single tear ran down her cheek. Then, she placed the album down and moved on to another one.

"I'm fine, really." She smiled softly. "Thank you," she said quietly to Logan.

He nodded and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek.

"Let's find some pictures of Garrett, why don't we?" Clare said.

We all agreed and began looking through the piles of albums. I hit pay dirt first when I cracked open an album to be greeted by the familiar face of a younger, more innocent-looking Garrett.

"Hey, there's the Goober I remember!" I looked up to the present-day Garrett and then back down to the high school version preserved on the pages of the album.

We all gathered around as I flipped through photos of Garrett in high school. It was then that I realized how much he really had changed. He'd had a light in his eyes then that didn't reach his eyes now.

"Okay, dinner's almost ready!" Laura called from the kitchen.

I skipped a few pages and made my way to the end of the album. I was eager to see if that genuine Garrett smile was still there. I was trying to pinpoint when it had disappeared. Then, I landed on graduation pictures. There was eighteen-year-old Garrett, posing with his high school girlfriend, their eyes brimming with excitement and youth.

Garrett visibly stiffened next to Clare as his emerald eyes locked on the picture.

"Hey, I remember her," Clare said, "Mia, wasn't it?"

Garrett just nodded. Clare was sitting next to him rather than across from him, so she didn't have the view I did. She couldn't see the look of absolute devastation on his face.

"What happened to her?" Clare asked.

"She left me," was all he said before getting up and exiting the room.

Based on the look on his face just now, I'd bet that shadow of a smile he carried showed up the day she walked out of his life.

~Declan~

"So, this is your idea of fun?" I asked as we walked hand in hand into the retirement home.

Leah gave me a shy smile before greeting the lady sitting at the front desk. "Hey, Alice. How's it going?" she said.

"Well, good morning, sugar. Is it Wednesday already?"

Looking down at the calendar with many papers and schedules scattered on her desk, the older woman, who reminded me a little of Betty White, nodded.

"Well, I guess it is. Always glad to have you Miss Leah. And who's this handsome gentleman you have with you today? You didn't have to bring me a present, you know?" she said with a wink.

Leah laughed and introduced me to the rather randy secretary. "Alice, this is my boyfriend, Declan. He was curious why I kept disappearing every Wednesday afternoon, and when I told him this is where I went, he had to see for himself." She took a sideways glance toward me and smiled, clearly remembering our conversation from earlier that week.

"You volunteer at an old folks' home?" I'd asked.

"Yep. And they really hate when you call it that."

"But last week, didn't you say you volunteered at an after-school program?"

"Yeah, I do that occasionally, too." She'd just shrugged.

And that was when I'd told her I had to see it to be sure.
How could one person do that much?
I could count the number of volunteer hours I'd given in my life on one hand.
What was her motivation?
I had to see her in action, see this other side of the woman who had captured my heart.

And so, a few days later, we were here, about to spend the afternoon with the elderly. I suddenly regretted that decision when we signed in and took a left down the hall into the dining room where I saw the residents for the first time.

What the hell was I supposed to do? What would we talk about?
I didn't have anything in common with an eighty-year-old. As if sensing my anxiety, Leah squeezed my hand, gave me a reassuring smile, and pulled me into the dining room.

"Want to grab a piece of pie? They make amazing pie," she said.

"Sure." Pie sounded safe. I'd do anything to delay the awkwardness.

I should have chosen a different activity for the afternoon. My grandparents had died when I was young, and since then, I hadn't had any contact with anyone older than my parents.
Would she be disappointed if I sucked at this?

We grabbed our pie, coconut for her and lemon meringue for me, and then we took our seats next to a couple at a round table near the center of the room. Leah had explained this retirement home had all levels of residents. Some were highly functioning and had come here because they simply hadn't wanted to live on their own anymore. Others required constant supervision. Leah's volunteer duties were simple. She was there to be a friend.

The couple we sat next to recognized Leah in an instant, and they greeted us warmly. They appeared to be part of the higher-functioning group Leah had described. They were both well-dressed and presentable. The woman looked like she'd thrown her entire jewelry box on. She was wearing several gold necklaces around her neck, four or five clunky bracelets, and a ring on every perfectly polished finger.

"Hello, darling!" the woman said. "How are you?"

"Good, Millie. How have you been this last week?"

"Can't complain. Still breathing," she said with a wink. "Now, who's this? You've never brought a friend with you...and such a handsome one, Leah!"

Her husband let out a huff, and Millie placated him by placing a hand on his shoulder and giving him a loving smile. He looked a little worse for the wear than she did. He was thinner, his expensive clothes hanging a bit on his frail body, and his skin appeared to be a few shades paler than it should be. When his eyes locked with hers, he smiled, and it was like the whole world disappeared.

I turned away, feeling like I was intruding on a very intimate moment.

Leah smiled as she turned away briefly, too. When she looked back toward them, she said, "This is my boyfriend, Declan. Declan, these two lovely people are Millie and William Taylor. They've been residents here for almost a year."

"It's lovely to meet you, Declan. You look very familiar," Millie said, looking at me a bit closer.

"I just have one of those faces, I guess," I said with a shrug, giving Leah a knowing smile. I wasn't about to out myself in an old folks' home.

We talked over pie, and I found it easier than I'd thought to speak with them. They were just people, and I could understand why Leah would come here. They were kind and loving. They treated Leah like a friend rather than someone coming in to check on them, and Leah did the same to them. She honestly enjoyed returning every week, visiting with the residents and learning about the different paths their lives had taken them on.

In our conversations, I learned William, or Willie as he liked to be called —it took me a minute to get over the fact that they were Mille and Willie —had been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. I noticed the small shaking in his hand as he brought the fork to his mouth and when he tried to hold his coffee cup.

"When we found out, we had many options. We could have had a live-in nurse, but I didn't like the idea of having someone in our space all the time. The doctors said I could have moved Willie to a facility and stayed in the house by myself." She gave her husband a meaningful look. "But I knew that would never be an option. I couldn't leave him. So, we decided to sell our house and make the move together." She gave her husband a small smile as she held his hand. "No matter what life might throw at us, we're in it together until the end."

"Always," Willie said, his voice shaking. He carefully brought his wife's hand to his lips.

I looked at Leah, and at that moment, I knew I needed to figure out a way to close the gap between our homes because I would not lose her over something like distance. I would not lose her, period.

~Leah~

"You're amazing. You know that, right?" Declan said as we made our way to the car.

We'd had an enjoyable afternoon with the Taylors. We'd spent a few hours with them, eating pie and then taking a short walk through the halls since it was too cold to do so outdoors. Eventually, we'd said our good-byes, and Millie had made me promise to bring Declan next week. He'd happily agreed.

"Why? Because I hang out with old people once a week? That hardly makes me amazing," I scoffed.

"It's more than that. You do so much, and you don't even see it. You are constantly taking care of others and putting the needs of everyone around you first, and that makes you amazing."

"I don't do it to be amazing. I just do it because that's who I am," I argued.

"I know," he said softly, stopping as we reached the car.

He turned and wrapped his hand around my waist, curling his fingers in the belt loops of my coat, as he pulled me close. I could see his breath flowing out of his mouth, the signs of winter evident all around us.

"That's what makes you amazing."

"I think you're starting to abuse the word
amazing
." I laughed.

"I could use other words, like fascinating, stunning, breathtaking...beautiful."

"Shut up." I ended his verbal praise with a scorching kiss.

He pressed me against the car, a growl escaping his lips, as his hips dug into mine.

"Careful what you start, Leah," he purred, pulling back to challenge me with his fiery hazel eyes.

"You were nervous today, weren't you?" I asked, changing the subject.

He laughed, knowing I would back down to his challenge. I was kinky, but we were in a freaking parking lot in the middle of the afternoon.

"Yes, a bit."

I gave him a hard look that called him out on his bullshit, and he relented.

"Okay, a lot. It sounds stupid, but I suddenly became very panicked that I would embarrass you, that I would be unable to speak to them. I was afraid I wouldn't have anything useful to say, and you would be disappointed. I had never done anything like that. Not too long ago, my life was going from one party to the next, and my biggest concern was which club I was going to visit next. Before and after Heather, I made it a point to make my life as shallow as possible. Having a meaningful chat with an elderly couple about the trials and joys of their lives is a bit heavier than I'm used to."