Never Say Goodbye (58 page)

‘You’re the best little miracle of all,’ she whispered, tears of joy shining in her yellowing eyes. ‘Granny’s precious girl, that’s what you are.’ She hadn’t felt so happy since she’d brought Lily and Ryan into the world, and was quietly sure she wouldn’t feel like this again. She hadn’t told anyone yet that the cancer was on the move again; they didn’t need to know on Joella’s christening day.

They’d left the church half an hour ago and driven to Bel’s for the party. It was a beautiful day, very warm for October, with sunlight sparkling over the waves and not a cloud in the sky. In various towns and cities around the country two dozen or more women would be getting themselves ready for the fashion show next week. Josie could feel their joy in her heart, and wished them well. She wouldn’t be taking part this year, but she and Bel had tickets to go and watch.

‘She’s got her mummy’s and granny’s violet-blue eyes,’ Bel smiled, coming to put an arm around her.

‘Yes, she has,’ Josie said proudly, ‘and our colour hair.’
Thank you, thank you, thank you for letting me see and hold her. Nothing could ever matter more than this
.

‘Is the robe from Lily’s wedding dress?’ Bel asked, touching the lace.

Josie nodded. ‘Lovely, isn’t it? Just like my precious girl.’

Joella gave a little burp and a yawn, making them smile.

‘What about going to your godmother?’ Josie whispered, needing to hand her over. She wasn’t strong enough to hold her for long.

‘Oh, yes please,’ Bel smiled, and taking the baby she pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Joella’s pretty eyes gazed up at her curiously, before she yawned again and closed them.

‘She’s worn out from all that screaming at the church,’ Lily announced, coming to join them. ‘Shall I lie her down?’

‘If you must,’ Bel responded, reluctantly letting her go.

As they watched Lily settling her on the sofa, Bel slipped an arm through Josie’s. ‘Are you OK?’ she asked.

Josie smiled as she looked around the room. How could she not be OK when the universe, God, or whatever controlled these things had allowed her to be a part of this day? Everyone she loved was here, Jeff, Lily, Jasper, Ryan, Paul, Bel, Harry, her mother, Miriam and Richard, Nick, Kristina and the children, and of course Joella. Fancy her thinking she’d never get to hold her, when she’d had no idea what the future might have in store. She still didn’t, though she knew in her heart that it wouldn’t be long now. Whether she’d made these last ten months happen simply by believing they could, or whether something else had been responsible, she would never know. The important thing was that she’d had them, and so had been given the time to write to everyone she cared about to thank them for the parts they’d played in her life, for the happiness they’d given her, and the love. She’d told them what she hoped for their futures, and assured them that they would always have her love. But because she knew with a certainty that filled her heart with joy that they would all meet again one day, she would never say goodbye.

It’s hard to find enough words to thank Dr Emma Pennery, the Clinical Director of Breast Cancer Care, for all the incredible support and advice she gave to this book. It is no exaggeration to say that I really couldn’t have done it without her. Thank you, Emma, thank you, thank you, thank you.

I would also like to thank Lynn Butteriss, Lauren Smith, Suzi Copland, again from Breast Cancer Care, for their own generous contributions to the research.

Another huge thank you to Mr Simon Cawthorne, breast surgeon at the Breast Care Centre of Southmead Hospital in Bristol for patiently explaining the process of diagnosis and treatment. Also very many thanks to oncologist Dr Jeremy Braybrooke for so much invaluable guidance through the challenging journey of chemotherapy.

Much love and thanks to Ann Ruddle who was generous enough to share her personal experience of chemotherapy.

Also a big thank you to Steph Harrison who not only brought us all together, but who has successfully reached the fantastic stage of remission!! Congratulations Steph, everyone is so happy for you.

I would be completely remiss if I didn’t acknowledge with much affection and gratitude the tremendous support of my editors in the UK, Susan Sandon and Georgina Hawtrey-Woore, and in the US, Kara Cesare and Hannah Elnan. Not forgetting, of course, the wonderful publishing teams both sides of the Atlantic: Jenifer Doyle, Sarah Page, Louise Page, Jennifer Hershey, Elizabeth Maguire, Kristin Fassler, Susan Corcoran, Lindsey Kennedy, Andrew Sauerwine a
nd the incredible sales teams who do such a marvellous job in taking the book on its lengthy journey from me to you, the reader.

Lastly, I want to thank my very own romantic hero, James Garrett, who made my dreams come true during the writing of this book when he became my husband.

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Epub ISBN: 9781448183838

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Copyright © Susan Lewis Ltd 2014

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This book is a work of fiction. Names and characters are the product of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental

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