Never Say Goodbye (57 page)

Clicking off her end, Bel started round to the site office, preparing to do battle with the farmer. It was a dismal day and though they were more or less on schedule with the build, the forecast for the next week was making it unlikely they’d stay that way. Still, at least Kristina was on top of the paperwork, and a recent problem with the foundations was in the process of being solved.

Having Kristina on board was proving even more of a godsend than Bel had expected. Being an archaeologist by trade, she knew all about digging and foundations and the restoration of old relics, which the barn most certainly was. She was also a bit of an admin fiend, which suited Bel no end, given how much she detested paperwork. Just yesterday they’d signed for another, smaller barn, to start building up their portfolio of properties ripe for conversion or renovation. So perhaps Bel could finally say she was managing to move on with her life.

‘OK, where is he?’ she asked the workman who’d summoned her.

He looked around, and nodded towards the gaping entrance to the barn. ‘He should have a hat on if he’s going in there,’ the workman commented.

Bel barely heard him. She was too stunned to register anything beyond the fact that someone who looked very like Harry appeared to be surveying the barn’s interior.

Her first thought was for Josie – he’d come to break some awful news – but that made no sense when she’d only just got off the phone with her, and anyway she wasn’t Harry’s patient now. He’d surely have been kept informed of her progress though, but even so . . . Maybe his mother wanted to buy another apartment, and he was hoping to enlist Bel’s help. Or he could simply have been passing and thought he’d drop in to find out how things were going. Since that was by far the most likely scenario, she quickly quashed all others, and began making her way through puddles and builders’ debris towards him.

‘Harry?’ she said, as she reached him.

Turning, he broke into a smile and she felt her insides floating. Apparently her attraction to him hadn’t diminished at all over the months; if anything, it was as strong as ever.

‘Hi, how are you?’ he asked.

‘Yes, I’m fine,’ she replied. ‘And you?’

Nodding, he drew a hand over his jaw as he glanced back inside the barn. ‘It seems to be coming along,’ he remarked.

‘Slowly.’

After a moment he turned to look at her again, and afraid her feelings might show, she glanced ahead, saying, ‘Would you like to have a look round? There’s still not much to see, I’m afraid . . .’

‘Actually, I was hoping we could talk,’ he said.

Her heart gave a brutal jolt. ‘Of course,’ she responded, too quickly, and felt herself blush. She turned towards the office. ‘It’s a bit warmer and drier inside,’ she said, ‘and I might be able to rustle up a coffee, if you have time.’

‘Sounds good,’ he smiled.

Feeling the scrutiny of the workforce as she led the way across to the trailer, she pushed open the sticky door and held it for him to go in ahead of her.

‘You’re not at the hospital today?’ she queried, going to the kitchenette as he gazed at the plans and photographs covering the walls.

‘I’ve just got back from Milan,’ he replied, ‘and I’m not due in again until tomorrow.’

‘Were you on holiday?’

‘Medical conference.’

‘Sorry, it’s not great,’ she grimaced as she handed him a coffee.

He took a sip of the viscous brew, and the way his eyebrows rose made her smile.
Could he feel the chemistry, or was it just her?
She was going to hate it when he left; this meeting was likely to set her back months.

Putting the mug down, he said, ‘I guess I ought to come to the point of why I’m here.’

Tense though she was, she managed to nod.

‘Well, I . . . I’m back at the apartment,’ he announced.

Registering the words, she became very still.

‘Things didn’t work out with my wife.’

She could feel herself quietly reeling. Was he thinking he could pick up with her again as though no word for months didn’t matter at all? ‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ she said evenly.

His eyes went down. ‘I don’t know if you’re going to want to hear this.’ He paused. ‘But the problem this time was that I couldn’t stop thinking about you.’

She suddenly couldn’t breathe.

‘I’m sorry if I’ve got it wrong,’ he went on quickly, ‘I was never sure if you felt the same way about me . . .’

‘I did,’ she blurted.

His eyes darkened with humour. ‘You did?’

She nodded.

‘Then you made a good job of hiding it.’

She couldn’t deny that. ‘So did you,’ she countered.

‘Because I thought you weren’t . . . That you didn’t . . .’ He laughed and dashed a hand through his hair. ‘Why didn’t you ever tell me?’ he asked.

‘I thought you were trying to get over your wife. Why didn’t you ever tell me?’

He shook his head. ‘I guess I sensed a distance, a line I shouldn’t cross, and so I thought maybe . . .’ He threw out his hands. ‘I don’t know what I thought, I just knew I wanted there to be more between us, but I wasn’t convinced it was what you had in mind. Then my wife said she thought we should try again, and for the children’s sake . . .’ He shrugged.

Understanding, Bel asked, ‘How long did you stay?’

‘A couple of months. I kind of knew even before I moved back that it was doomed, but I had to give it a go.’

‘Of course.’

‘I wanted to stay in touch with you, so badly,’ he said softly, ‘but I knew if I did the reconciliation would be over before it began. It was anyway, because like I said, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I picked up the phone so many times, but it wasn’t the right thing to do when I was still with my wife. After I moved back to the flat . . . Well, I could never convince myself you’d want to hear from me.’

‘I did, all the time,’ she confessed.

‘As a friend?’

‘Not only that.’

His eyes seemed to be melting into hers. ‘Can we . . .? Do you think we can . . .?’

‘Yes,’ she nodded.

He smiled and they both laughed. ‘Do you know what I’d like to do now?’ he said.

She waited.

‘I’d like to kiss you, if I may.’

‘I’d like that very much.’

‘So maybe,’ he murmured, more humour shining in his eyes, ‘you’d like to take off the hat and glasses?’

Spluttering on a laugh, she quickly removed them and stepped into his arms.

The feel of him against her, the taste of his mouth, was so wonderfully consuming she wanted it never to end. And it didn’t for a very long time, until he finally said, ‘Are you doing anything tonight?’

Still dazed from the kiss, she told him, ‘I think I am now, but there are things you should know about me . . .’

‘That I’m looking forward to finding out about,’ he interrupted, ‘but we have plenty of time.’

As he kissed her again, she felt more happiness than she could contain sweeping through her, and could hardly wait to tell Josie.

JOSIE COULDN’T BE
sure what happened to turn things around, or when exactly it began taking shape. There wasn’t any sort of epiphany as such, it was something that came about more subtly and powerfully, as the threads of her family’s love caught around her heart and bound it with a fierce determination to stay with them.

It helped too that Lily had shown her an article about five women who’d been told they were terminal, and years later every one of them was still going strong. Ryan was telling her about miracles all the time, and even Jeff seemed to believe in them – and why wouldn’t he, when the few weeks the doctors had given her passed quietly by and she remained with them all?

No one could explain why the cancer had stopped growing, but it had, and as far as she was concerned that was all that mattered. She didn’t even need to take much medication now, and her hair had completely grown back after she’d lost it a second time thanks to the radio. The really weird thing was that the cancer was still there in her body; it just didn’t seem to be doing anything.

‘Everyone’s different,’ Harry had told her, ‘and you’re not the first to defy medical science. It happens more than you might think, and believe me, no one is happier when it does than us so-called experts. We just wish we could distil the reasons into a treatment to share with everyone.’

Josie was loving watching Bel and Harry together. They were such a good-looking couple, and the way they made each other laugh always made Josie laugh too. She knew, because Bel had told her, that Harry was now aware of everything that had happened in the past and was carefully, lovingly helping Bel to dispel the demons that had held her captive for too long. There was still a way to go, Bel admitted, but she was seeing a therapist now, although it was having Harry in her life that was making the biggest difference of all.

Though they were too busy to see Josie and Jeff very often, Bel always stayed in touch by phone, and, bless their hearts, she and Harry had treated her and Jeff to a weekend at a hotel in Devon for Jeff’s birthday in March, and they’d come too. Josie had never been to a place with such charm, set as it was on an island just off the south coast. When the tide was out it was possible to walk across the beach to the mainland, but they’d never bothered. The place was too special to want to leave it for a minute. They’d drunk cocktails each evening, all dressed up in the twenties- and thirties-style dresses they’d bought specially, and danced to a jazz band that was nearly as good as The Medics. Jeff had looked so handsome in his tux that Josie was sure she’d fallen in love with him all over again, and he must have felt something too, because they’d started talking that weekend about renewing their marriage vows. She’d found out on the way home that Harry and Bel had decided to move in together, so romance had certainly filled the air during those couple of days.

She and Jeff still hadn’t got round to the vows business yet, but it didn’t matter. What did was that she was still here and he was doing really well these days in his new job as a chauffeur. He’d gone into partnership with her cousin Steve, who’d got him a two-year-old Merc for a knock-down price, and Jasper had taken care of promoting the new business. Quite soon the better-off people of the area started using Jeff to get to the airports or various functions. Local companies were hiring him too, to ferry directors or important clients around. If it went on like this he might have to take on another driver.

It was lovely having Lily and Jasper living in Kesterly. They were renting for the moment, but now that Jasper had landed himself a good job with the MOD in Exeter they were looking around for somewhere to buy. They especially liked the Newton area, just outside the old town, where Ryan and Chaplain Paul, who was no longer a chaplain, had recently set up home. Paul was teaching special needs children at a school not far from the Temple Fields estate, and when he had the qualifications Ryan was hoping to do the same. Funny how Jeff had never batted an eyelid about Ryan being gay; it just went to show that even after all these years of being married he could still surprise her.

It had been a marvellous ten months since that awful time when they’d told her she only had a few weeks to go. Every day felt more special than the last, even when things didn’t go right. She wasn’t as big a worrier as she used to be; she’d learned, partly from books and partly from the BCC forum, how to control it, and she was sure Jeff had a different perspective on things these days too. Not that he was into the universe, the same as her, but he definitely seemed more relaxed and appreciative of what they had. It helped having a bit more money, of course; they might even be in a position soon to put a deposit down on a small place of their own.

It was amazing how powerful her meditation sessions were turning out to be. Bel had got her into them, and yoga; Josie also often went up to the churchyard to be quiet and alone while she tuned out of everyday stresses and petty worries. Lately she’d found herself going into a whole other dimension where she seemed to understand the language of animals and birds, and could hear the sound of trees growing or unborn babies crying. She never told anyone about it, they’d think she was barmy, but during those spiritual journeys it was as though she was somewhere outside time, halfway between here and there, drifting in the quiet beauty of simply being. She had no doubt now that heaven was right here on earth; that miracles were everywhere and angels were in everyone.

Her mother had taken up cosmic ordering, so was claiming responsibility for keeping her daughter alive. She preached its power to anyone who’d listen, though she still hadn’t had any luck with finding a decent bloke or winning big on the lottery, her other two regular orders.

‘It might help if you bought a ticket,’ Ryan told her. He was very into Josie’s new relationship with the universe, though he preferred to call it God, and was always on at his nan for being irreverent.

‘I do when I can afford it,’ Eileen assured him, ‘but most I’ve ever won is a couple of hundred quid which don’t go anywhere. Maybe I’m not asking for enough, but I don’t want to be greedy, do I?’

‘Never let it be said,’ Jeff muttered.

Bel and Kristina – or Monkton and Lambert, as they were calling their new company – had recently sold Clementine barn to a famous musician, who was turning one of the outbuildings into a recording studio. Josie knew it had been a wrench for Bel to let the place go, since it was where she and Harry had shared their first kiss, although technically speaking that had happened in the trailer, which was now acting as an office at another barn. So their special location could be transported about the countryside along with them.

With Jasper being so well paid Lily was able to work from home as a fund-raiser for Breast Cancer Care, which she threw herself into wholeheartedly, ably assisted by Josie. They’d put on all sorts of events over the last few months, from strawberry teas, to bad-hair days, to battles of the bands, which The Medics had won by raising just under two thousand pounds. They didn’t have anything else planned for a while though, since they had other important matters to deal with, like the beautiful little bundle Josie was holding now. This was her first grandchild, Joella, a joining of her and Bel’s names that made Josie’s heart sing simply to hear it.