Never Say Never (14 page)

“Did what exactly, Cameron?”

We’re still sitting in the closet, her legs straddling my lap.

“If you give me two-seconds to explain, before you freak out. I’ll show you.”

I look back at my phone, pulling it from her hand.

“Promise me you won’t go ballistic, and become an ice queen again.”

She doesn’t respond, she just nods.

I grab her chin, kissing her quickly one last time, just in case.

“This is gonna look really bad, but I swear I just took the video. Nothing happened, okay?”

“Show me Cameron, now.”

“You haven’t promised me yet, just say it.”

“Fine, I promise.”

God, I hope she’s telling the truth and can handle this.

I open up the phone, hitting the video button and hit play. I don’t watch anything but her face as she takes it in. It was the longest three minutes of my life.

“I can’t believe you did this?”

“It’s yours, do what you want with it.”

She pulls herself off of my lap.

“You think I want this?”

“I don’t know. I just thought if you had some leverage, she’d leave you alone.”

“I don’t want this Cameron. And now... I don’t want you,” she says, her face twisted, disgusted at me.

I pull her back down, damn she’s strong.

“Kat, you promised.”

“That was before I watched Stephanie completely naked, dancing for you. That’s disgusting.”

“I’m sorry. I thought...shit I don’t what I thought. I know you’re pissed, but don’t do this. We just got to this place, whatever this is. I don’t want it to end.”

“Everything ends, Cameron. I told you I couldn’t take getting hurt again and what do you do....this,” she says, as she shoves the phone and me down further into her closet.

She’s standing, facing me with pain in her eyes. I feel like shit because I’m the one hurting her this time.

“Leave, now.”

“I’m not leaving, Kat.”

“Yes, you are.”

“You’re gonna have to carry me out, because I’m not going anywhere. If you want me to move, you’re gonna have to make me.”

She doesn’t answer, she keeps staring at me.

“Not until you talk to me about this, at least,” I say, walking out of her closet, jumping on her bed with my hands behind my head.

“If you’re not leaving. I am.”

With that she walks out and I hear the door slam behind her. I don’t care. She’ll have to come back eventually and I’ll be here waiting for her. She already told me her Dad was gone, it was just gonna be her and me tonight. Damn it, I wanted that so bad, I could taste it.

KAT

I’ve driven around for two hours, not sure where the hell I was. I was circling all around Naperville thinking about the video. Here I am talking to myself, as I sit at the red light, I’ve got both hands wrapped around the steering wheel. I have no idea how I’m supposed to feel, so much is running through my mind. I hear honking from behind, bringing me back from my trance. I slam the gas pedal, it jerks me forward. I pull into an empty parking lot, debating what I want to do.

I was actually letting myself fall in love again. Something I was sure wouldn’t happen so soon and definitely not in Naperville. Problem is, I do have strong feelings for him. I have to turn him off, shut him down, I keep saying out loud to myself. Trouble is every time I see his face my heart takes off in all different directions it’s never gone before. I can’t pretend anymore that he doesn’t have this power over me.

But, that video. The only thing I can picture is him watching her, naked, dancing for him. I can’t imagine any guy walking away from that. Was he that strong? Did he really do this for me? I figured I’d find out soon enough. School was only one full day away, and with the way he was acting, I’m sure he’ll attack at first light.

I also figured my hours of disappearing was enough time for him to get the picture and leave.

I pull into the driveway, slowly. I walk out and into the house, pouring myself a glass of juice. I have the whole house to myself and right now I need Jess. I walk upstairs, head toward my room to make the call, when I see him still lying on my bed.

“Cameron, what are you still doing here?”

“We need to talk.”

“There’s nothing to say.”

He stands, grabbing my wrists.

“Kat, it kills me to know that I hurt you this way. If I’d known you’d react like this, I swear I wouldn’t have gone through with it.”

As I look at him, I hold my breath, scared to death of what he does to me. How my body tingles then goes slightly numb when he touches me.

“Cameron, please just leave. I’m begging.”

He just shakes his head, tugging my arms and wrapping them around his waist.

“No, I’m not walking away from you. Not this time.”

As I stare into his green eyes, I get lost for a moment. I can’t back down. I pull away, I can’t stop pacing around my room, I can’t stand still. If I stop, he’ll most likely pull me back in.

“Why can’t you just leave? Any other guy would,” I say, holding open the door.

“I’m not any other guy, and besides I have something I need to say first. If you still want me to leave after that. I will,” he says, not budging one inch.

“Okay, so say whatever it is you want and leave,” I say, refusing to back down on this one.

“Come here, first.”

I step forward inching closer, as I meet his steps, “What?”

“Kat, I’ve never said these words to anyone, so please listen closely.” He pauses, reaching around my neck, pulling me in closer, “I’m falling in love with you.”

OH MY GOD!

I wasn’t expecting I love you. I just stare back as he looks deep into my eyes. No guy has ever said those words to me, and my heart feels like it’s about to bounce right out of my chest. I don’t respond, I’m completely tongue-tied.

“This is where you’re supposed to say something back.”

I shake my head, pulling myself out of his trance.

“What do you want me to say?”

“How about you love me too.”

Silence.

“Kat, c’mon, I said it first, I know how you feel. I bet you never kissed anyone like that before. Your kiss told me everything I need to know.”

What the hell I am going to do? If I tell him how I feel, it’s over. My genius plan will be null and void.

“I’m waiting,” he says, our faces close enough to feel his lips, his breath. His forehead presses up against mine.

I don’t answer, instead I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him like it was the last kiss we’d ever share. As our lips move in perfect sync, I do the unthinkable. I pull slightly back, “I think I love you, too.”

Crap, what did I just say? I’m mad at him. Why does he do this to me?

He smiles his crazy smile that I love, the one he saves for me and only me. He pulls me up into his arms, carrying me toward my bed. I barely notice as he lays me down, our tongues still dancing with one another. I can’t take my eyes off of him or my lips off his for that matter. I want him more than I wanted anything in my life. I want him to be my first. I knew this from the first time we kissed, but now the dream was about to become reality. I need to stop this from happening, right now.

I pull myself off of him, as he’s staring into my eyes, tucking the hair that has fallen in my face, behind my ear.

“Are you all right?” He asks.

“I want to be with you, but I can’t. Not yet.”

“Kat, I’m not gonna force you to do something you’re not ready for. You know that, right?”

I lye back down, settling into his chest.

“I’m sorry. It’s just I’ve never really done this before.”

He tilts my head back up to meet his eyes. “You’re a virgin?”

I feel my forehead creasing. “Yes, is that a problem?”

He chuckles, “No, are you kidding? I couldn’t be happier. I would hate to think of some other guy touching you the way I do. Matter of fact, I don’t want anyone thinking about you the way I do,either.”

“I take it you’re not?”

Silence again.

“No,” He pauses. “Would it make you feel better if I told you that if we met two years ago, you’d be the only one for me then, and the only one for me now.”

I pout, looking away, “I guess.”

“I mean it. Look at me, will you?”

He pulls me back on top of him, “I meant it when I said I loved you. Don’t forget that.”

In that moment I know he meant it. If he could take the blond bimbos that were in his life prior to me, he would have. He loves me and I love him. The only fear I have now, is that we don’t have much time left. It’s April already, and four months from now we’ll be heading in separate directions.

I need to feel him against me again, to feel his lips. Our bodies press against one other, as I feel him tug at the bottom of my shirt, he lifts it over my head, exposing my black bra. His hands wander up my back and toward the front of my chest. I don’t stop him this time, as his eyes find mine.

He grabs my chin. “Are you sure?”

“I’ll stop when I need you to stop, okay?”

He doesn’t say anything, he just pulls me back down. As I sink back into him and his hands are moving all over my body, I can only hope that I’m able to stop. I’m no better. My hands are exploring every inch I can possibly take in, without letting him know how worked up I’m getting. His left hand wraps loosely around my hair as his other finds it way to the button on my jeans. As he starts to pull and tug trying to release the damn thing, I take a deep breath, “Wait.” Thank God for that freaking button. If it didn’t stick like always, I may have let him continue where he was about to go.

He stops immediately, pulling his hand back up to my face, not letting his mouth leave mine.

I whisper, “I’m sorry.”

His lips linger by my ear, he whispers softly into it, “It’s not a problem, just be with me. We don’t need to go all the way.”

I sit up. “I can’t. If we keep going, I’m not going to be able to stop this from happening,” I whisper back.

I hear a deep sigh release from him. “Okay, it’s all right.”

“Are you sure?” I ask, nervously.

“Positive, we have all the time in the world,” he pulls me back, pulling my shirt down.

“But, we don’t you know? Have all the time in the world.” I answer back.

He shakes his head in disbelief at my statement.

“Kat, what are you talking about?”

“College. We only have four months left.”

“We’ll figure it out, it doesn’t have to end,” he says, reassuringly.

“Everybody breaks up when they go to college, it’s like some golden rule or something.”

“We’re not everybody, stop worrying so much.”

I need to change the subject, because right now I feel like I can start hyperventilating any minute.

“Are you hungry?”

“For you or food?” He teases, pushing me back down.

“Food.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“How about Italian and a movie night?”

He stands up, pulling himself together. I can tell he’s a little frustrated with the fact, I left him hanging.

“Where do you want to go?”

“Let’s walk down to The Rosebud, and then I have a ton of movies here we can choose from,” I say, grabbing his hand.

He stops me, his lips linger on mine for several more minutes before he speaks again.

“As long as there’s no pasta fights, you’re on,” he winks.

I shake his hand, “Deal.”

CAMERON

Once again, I feel like I can’t ask for more at this moment, so why do I feel like it’s all going to be ripped away from me? She had my mind reeling around and around about college. Even as we enter the restaurant after ordering take-out, I can’t stop thinking about it. Four months, that was it. I know I need more than four months with her, tonight was even more than I ever expected. It was almost impossible to stop, but I did.

I almost couldn’t breathe as she kissed me so passionately. I never experienced such a kiss. I’ve kissed quite a few girls in my day, hell, I went all the way with a few of them, but Kat did something no one else could. She had me completely out of control, I don’t even know if food and movies can take care of what just happened. But, I promised myself, I’d do what’s right. Even as I walk her out of the restaurant, my arm stretched across her shoulder, I want nothing else but her.

She asks, “What are you thinking about?

I look down at her, “Truth?”

“Of course.”

“You and what might happen later.”

She laughs at my remark, “Maybe we should pick an action movie.”

“Good choice,” I say, knowing full well what any chick flick will do to me.