Authors: Cathy Kelly
morning dash through the traffic and put on some lipstick
before wiping it off hastily. You’re going to be talking
about college work, for God’s sake, she told herself. Let
him sec how seriously you take your art - he’s probably
sick to the teeth of flirty students who bat their eyelashes
at him and conveniently forget what they’re there for.
At half-four exactly, she knocked on Owen Theal’s
office door and he opened it immediately, his coat in his
hand.
Cara faltered. ‘Sorry, did I come at the wrong time? Are
you going out?’
Theal smiled, with a glint in his dark eyes. ‘No, we’re going out. It’s a bitterly cold day and a drink will warm us up. Besides, it’s nice to get out of this place occasionally.’
They walked companionably along the road with Theal
explaining that he loved Dublin’s Georgian architecture
but his favourite city, architecturally speaking, was Paris.
He’d travelled all over the world and by the time they
were ensconced in the tiny Dawson Lounge, he’d told Cara
about his year in France and the subsequent two years
when he explored Europe, journeyed to India, and even
spent some time on a New Zealand vineyard.
‘You’ve been everywhere,’ she said, eyes shining with
admiration. ‘I’ve only been on a plane once!’
‘You’ll travel, don’t worry,’ he reassured her. ‘What’s
your poison?’
‘Er … coffee?’ Cara said.
Theal brushed that idea aside. ‘Nonsense. You’ll have a
real drink. Do you like Scotch?’ He didn’t wait for her to
answer but ordered two Scotches with ice.
Not used to drinking anything stronger than wine or
beer, Cara found the whisky burned the back of her throat
but, not wishing to seem ungrateful or rude, she drank it
anyway.
Owen was so easy to talk to. And so interested in her. He
really wanted to know all about her: what she liked, what
she didn’t like. Where she lived, who she lived with, why
she’d decided to go to art college … Warmed by the
alcohol and his interest, Cara found herself talking nineteen
to the dozen about how she’d adored paintings when
she was younger and how she’d bury herself in library
books about the Prado in Madrid until she felt as if she’d
really seen all the Goyas and Velasquez.
She didn’t notice Owen silently ordering another drink
and sliding her empty glass away to replace it with a
double. He was drinking very quickly. Ridiculously, she felt
she had to keep up, like eating your soup at the same speed
as everyone else so you won’t keep them waiting for the
next course.
‘We recognise each other, we artists,’ he said solemnly,
running one finger around the rim of his now-empty glass.
‘I think that’s why I brought you here to talk to you - I
know you’re different, you’re like me. You’re an artist.’
‘D-do you think so?’ Cara stammered.
‘Of course.’ He smiled broadly. ‘I can spot it a mile off.
It’s in your hands.’ He picked up her right hand and held it
carefully in both of his, his fingers warm and sensitive as
they examined hers and caressed her palm.
Cara said nothing. She didn’t know what to say. This was
all very strange.
‘You must let me help you, Cara,’ he said earnestly.
‘Well, er … yes,’ she replied.
As abruptly as he’d started, Owen dropped her hand and
began talking about college and the syllabus. Cara, who’d
been getting nervous what with all the hand holding stuff,
relaxed again. He was simply being friendly. He was artistic
and didn’t operate by normal rules. No other teacher
would hold your hand like that: Owen was different, that
was all. He got them another drink.
‘Please, let me pay,’ said Cara, embarrassed, hating him
to think she was mean even though her bank account boasted only fifty pounds that had to do her for the next two months.
‘Don’t be ridiculous. You’re an impoverished student, I’ll
pay,’ Owen said fondly.
After their fourth drink, things began to feel a bit hazy.
Cara felt her insides lurch from the combination of alcohol
and no food. Her face was flushed and she knew she wasn’t
making too much sense. But Owen Theal didn’t seem to
mind. He appeared to love listening to her. He sat beside
her - not touching her - listening raptly. It was nice, she
thought dreamily, nice to he listened to so intently.
She didn’t want the fifth, and very large-looking, drink
but he insisted.
‘We’re celebrating,’ he said smoothly, pushing the glass
into her hands. ‘You’d be insulting me if you said no.’
‘I don’t want to do that,’ Cara said, flustered. She didn’t
know you could insult someone by not having a drink. She
knew nothing, really.
She drank it slowly, wishing she’d said no. As if he sensed
her discomfort, Owen became even more entertaining
than before. He told her outrageous stories about famous
artists, amused her with risque tales of Slaney College’s
teaching staff, and generally made her feel like a fascinating
and mature woman. With the warm whisky inside her and
the warmth of his attention outside, Cara basked in a haze
hotter than a sweltering summer’s day.
It was around seven when they finally left the tiny
crowded pub but instead of turning down towards the
college, Owen led her firmly up the street, guiding her
with one strong hand on her elbow.
‘We’ve got to eat,’ he said in surprised tones when Cara
began to protest.
Thinking of Evie waiting patiently at home with dinner
in the oven, Cara knew she should phone or something.
But he didn’t give her a chance. He rushed her towards
Merrion Row and she felt almost embarrassed to explain
that she went home after college almost every night
instead of partying with the wilder students.
In The Sitar, a fragrant Indian restaurant, he ordered red
wine and filled her glass up almost before she could say
anything.
As he ate his lamb korma, Cara toyed with her
Tandoori chicken, aware that the room seemed to he
moving in and out of focus. She finally understood that
old joke about not being drunk if you could lie on the
floor without holding on. At the moment, she felt as if
she’d fall off her chair any second. And she was nauseous
into the bargain.
She just wanted to go home, to sink into her cosy little
bed in Evie’s back bedroom and feel the soft sheets wrap
themselves around her. She longed for sleep but how could
she get out of this?
‘I’m tired, Owen,’ she slurred suddenly. ‘I’ve got to go
home’
He promised to drive her and they went back to the
college. ‘Come into my room, I’ve got to get my keys,’ he
said.
Like the obedient girl she was, programmed through
years of training to do exactly what a person in authority
said, she went, her limbs unsteady as she climbed the stairs
to his office.
Inside, he turned and grabbed her, pushing her up
against the filing cabinet and winching her big coat from
her shoulders.
Cara would have gasped but his mouth was fastened on
hers, his lips wet and rubbery as they took over hers,
slobbering on her face, smelling of wine and whisky.
‘I knew you liked me too,’ he murmured between
driving his tongue into her mouth. ‘I know you’ve been
watching me all evening but I had to be sure you wanted it
too. You’re so sexy, Cara. Mature, grown up and sexy.’
It was the words that did it. He believed she wanted him
too, believed she’d been giving him the come on all
evening. When she’d laughed at his jokes and taken the
drinks he’d bought her, he’d assumed she fancied him too.
It was like a mating dance and she’d danced it, too stupid
to know the difference, too full of her newfound sexuality
to know what she was doing.
Cara felt so out of her depth, but if he believed she
knew what she was doing, how could she say she’d never dreamed of him touching her like this, that she didn’t like it? She’d obviously led him on. It was her fault this had happened. How could she stop it? So she said nothing, just let him kiss her roughly for a few minutes. Then something
inside her snapped and she knew she had to stop him, had
to get him off her. Now.
‘No,’ she breathed, her voice faint. ‘No,’ she said again,
more strongly this time.
He kept going, shoving her jumper up around her ribs,
big hands wrenching it up over her breasts.
‘No!’
‘Don’t be such a little tease,’ he said raggedly. ‘You want
it, you know you do.’
‘I don’t,’ she sobbed, trying to push him away from her.
‘I don’t want this. Please.’
He wasn’t listening. He’d dragged her skirt up around
her waist and was fumbling with her tights. God, he wasn’t
going to stop! She pushed him away but he didn’t budge.
Cara was strong but Owen Theal was bigger, much, much
stronger, and able to handle alcohol. He wasn’t drunk and
unsteady. He was utterly in control. His hands were
everywhere, touching and groping. Touching her intimately,
grabbing parts of her no man had ever touched
before. As he grabbed her, she felt sick, truly sick.
Then it came to her. The answer, the way out.
‘I’m going to be sick,’ she gasped, then made a retching
noise, like one of her father’s dogs trying to vomit after
eating grass.
As if he’d been scalded, Theal sprang back.
‘A bag, a bucket, get me something to be sick into,’ she
said between retches. She clasped her hands to her mouth
as if she was ready to vomit and he whirled around
frantically looking for something.
‘Don’t be sick here,’ he hissed. ‘I’ll get something …’
He dragged open the door and Cara could see him rush
down the hall towards the staff room. This was the chance
she needed. There was no time to sob or sink on to the
floor crying. Grabbing her coat and bags, she stumbled
from the room, pulling down her skirt as she ran. Her coat
was trailing on the ground behind her as she ran with one
arm in and one arm out, but she didn’t care. She simply
had to get away.
Her blood was racing in her chest, pumping frantically in
terror She nearly fell on the landing, tripped on the broken
tile she blithely walked past twenty times a day.
But she recovered her balance and it didn’t stop her
headlong flight. She tore past the classrooms, terrified he’d
find her gone and run, shouting, after her. But he didn’t.
She ran past the locker room and pulled open the heavy
door and was out in the street in moments. Out in the
blessedly safe street.
Cara ran all the way to the bus terminus, her heart still
pounding and her breath rattling inside her chest. She ran
like someone possessed, as if all the demons of every
horror movie she’d ever seen were after her.
Mercifully, a bus sat waiting, lights on, engine idling
while the driver waited another five minutes so he could
leave at exactly eleven o’clock. Cara climbed the step to
the driver and looked at him as if he’d personally saved her
from Owen Theal.
‘You’re in a hurry,’ he said, taking in the hot, flushed
face and her ragged breathing.
‘Yes.’ She smiled shakily and showed him her travel
card, then went to the back of the bus and sank gratefully
into an empty seat. Eyes wide, she stared around at the
darkened street outside, expecting to see him come after
her any second. He knew where she lived, what bus she
got. She’d told him. He’d follow her, she was sure. Please,
please don’t let him follow me, she prayed fervently, too
scared to close her eyes. If she did, he’d appear in front of her like a demon, so she kept watching frantically. Ten endless minutes passed, ten minutes when Cara felt as if
she’d have a heart attack from fear.
Her heart didn’t stop pounding until the driver closed
the doors and the bus pulled away from the kerb. Now she
felt totally safe. Owen wouldn’t find her now, he couldn’t.
She sat back and stared blankly out into the night, too
shocked to cry. What had she done? Oh, God, what had
she done?
Evie had been in bed when she arrived back, reeking of
unfamiliar Scotch and freezing because somewhere along
the way, she’d lost the crimson chenille scarf and matching
hat her sister had given her as a present. Not somewhere,
really. In his office. On the floor where he’d thrown them.
She’d been too scared to remember them when she raced
out of the door with sheer terror in her soul.
‘What time do you call this to be coming in?’ demanded
her sister, face icy with disapproval. ‘It’s nearly twelve and
you’re …’ She paused and sniffed the air disbelievingly
‘Drunks I’ve been worried sick about you.’
Standing at the door, gazing into the room that was so
Evie - all warm floral fabrics and soft cushions, the pine
furniture dotted with lace mats, the tiny china elephants
Evie loved to collect and family pictures everywhere Cara
felt suddenly tearful. She longed to throw herself on