Authors: Cathy Kelly
said enigmatically.
‘What do you mean?’
‘I’m thinking of looking for another job,’ she announced.
Actually, I’ve applied for several and I’ve got an interview
tomorrow.’
Cara stopped fiddling around in her rucksack and looked
at her friend in horror. ‘You can’t be serious?’ she said,
astounded. ‘When did you decide that? Where are you
going?’
She didn’t voice her final question: What will I do
without you? They’d been together since college, worked
side by side in Yoshi Advertising for four years and
endured Bernard Redmond’s temper tantrums together.
Cara couldn’t imagine working in Yoshi without Zoe
grumbling good-naturedly by her side, slagging off Bernard
whenever she got the opportunity. There was nobody
around she could team up with to compose filthy limericks
about their colleagues, nobody to laugh with till they
were sick at lunch, nobody to discuss life, the universe and
everything with.
‘I don’t know for definite,’ Zoe answered. ‘The interview
tomorrow is with Solve and I don’t think I’d like to work
there. But I’ve got to get out of this place. Bernard’s so
mean he’ll never increase our wages beyond the national
wage agreement and the only way we’re going to get
promoted is if somebody dies, although I can think of a
few people around here I’d personally pay to have wiped
out purely for the good of humanity.’ She stopped joking
and gave Cara an apologetic look. ‘I’m never going to get
on unless I leave here. I was reading an article in Cosmopolitan about your career and in cases like this, when you’ve got the boss from hell, it makes sense to cut
your losses and find another job.’
‘Oh.’ Cara couldn’t think of much else to say. ‘You’re
right but …’ she blinked back a tear at the thought of a
Zoe-free office ‘… I’ll miss you so much.’
Zoe threw a pink highlighter pen at her teasingly.
‘Jaysus, missus, I’m only leaving the company, not the
planet. You won’t be banished from my organiser because
we’re not in the trenches together anymore.’
‘I know.’ Cara still looked gloomy.
‘Go on,’ Zoe said with a quick glance at her watch,
‘you’ll miss lover boy if you stay here any longer talking to
me.
Ewan thought it was a great idea. ‘Zoe’s right.’ He sat
on one of the canal benches and extracted his chicken
sandwich from its little plastic triangle. It was a warm
March day and the clusters of daffodils planted along the
edge of the water were brilliantly yellow in the lunchtime
sun. A family of ducks swam serenely in front of
them, muttering quietly among themselves in duck
language.
‘But she’s going to leave the company,’ Cara said miserably,
sitting down beside him and ignoring her own cheese
salad sandwich.
‘I’ll probably bugger off myself in a year or so,’ Ewan
remarked, mouth full of chicken.
‘Jesus, what do you mean?’ Cara was utterly astounded
now. ‘It’s like the bloody diaspora around here. Where are you going?’
‘Relax,’ he said.
Cara loathed it when people said that.
‘I am relaxed,’ she hissed in a most unrelaxed tone. ‘I
simply want to know why all my friends are leaving the
company where we work. Is that too much to ask?’
‘Well,’ Ewan said equably, ‘if I was working somewhere
else, you’d feel able to admit that you were going out with
me and you wouldn’t be afraid that Bernard would fire
you.’
‘It’s not so much that he’d fire me,’ she prevaricated, not
having explained the real reason to Ewan because she
couldn’t bear to get into a discussion of the trauma she could never quite forget.’It’s …Anyway, don’t change the subject.
Why would you want to leave Yoshi?’
‘It’s great experience working under my boss, but if it
wasn’t for Ken, I don’t think I’d be here at all. Bernard is a
complete space cadet and I’d have better opportunities
somewhere else. I’d quite like to work in Deja Vu. They’ve
a great creative team. Zoe should try applying there if
tomorrow’s interview doesn’t work out.’
‘What about me?’ Cara asked mulishly. Ewan was
thinking of jobs for her best friend but not for her. It
wasn’t fair.
He leaned over and gave her a chicken-scented kiss. ‘You
should consider updating your CV too, my little apple
blossom, because without Zoe, you’ll be doing her work as
well as your own until Bernard bothers to rehire.’
Cara poked him roughly in the ribs. ‘Little apple blossom, my backside!’
He grabbed her with the non-sandwich-eating hand and
planted another wet kiss full on her mouth. ‘That’s not
what you were saying last night.’ he joked. ‘I could have
called you my little cuddly-wuddly bunnikins and you
wouldn’t have minded.’
She kissed him back, feeling a flare of excitement in
her belly at the thought of the night before. A bottle of
Body Shop massage oil and the dog-eared copy of the Kama Sutra they’d found in a second-hand book shop in Rathmines had combined to produce their most erotic
evening yet.
‘Point taken, my little chicky-wicky teddy bear-ums,’ she
laughed.
‘Now eat your sandwich so we can go for a romantic
stroll in the sun and breathe in some lovely Dublin
pollution,’ Ewan said as a truck belching exhaust fumes
beetled past, sending a black cloud over at least a mile of
the canal.
Cara listlessly splashed water over her breasts, watching
the bubbles in the bath redistribute themselves into
vanilla-scented mounds with every movement. The water
was at the just-hot-enough to be comfortable stage and the
bottle of Beck’s she held in the other hand was just cool
enough to be refreshing.
‘I think she’s off her rocker.’ Phoebe plucked out another
eyebrow hair and stood back to consider the effect. It wasn’t
good. She’d taken too many out of one eyebrow so unless
she evened them out, she’d look permanently surprised on
one side of her face and normal on the other. ‘I mean, how
does Zoe know she’ll get a better job if she leaves?’
‘Being in graphic design isn’t anywhere near as secure as
working in the bank,’ Cara said, splashing a few more
bubbles out of the way and thinking that she couldn’t stay there forever. ‘Agencies go under and people move companies within the advertising industry all the time.’
‘You haven’t,’ Phoebe pointed out. Although Ricky said he was thinking of chucking his job in soon.’
Cara closed her eyes in disgust. Only Ricky would be
dumb enough to give up a pensionable, decent job, which
he’d only got in the first place by a complete miracle, to do
something else. ‘What does he have in mind?’ she asked,
waiting for Phoebe to say her boyfriend was joining a boy
band or taking up a new career as a stripper. You could
never tell with Ricky.
‘He’s thinking of going back to college.’
Cara sat up in the bath. It was a mystery to her how he’d
ever got through college in the first place; she couldn’t
imagine what course he’d take up to further his studies.
Scrounging 101, perhaps. ‘But the bank would pay for him
to do a degree,’ Cara said.
‘Ricky doesn’t want to feel tied down.’ Phoebe plucked
some more. And he’d have to go back to the bank
afterwards if they paid for his course. He’d like to do
physiotherapy or something like that. He’s very good with
his hands,’ she added with a little smirk.
‘Well, Phoebs,’ Cara said, getting out of the bath and not
mentioning that the brain-dead Ricky hadn’t a hope in hell
of getting into any physiotherapy degree course no matter
how good he was at bringing his girlfriend to the heights of ecstasy with his thumbs, ‘if he gives up his job and becomes a full-time student, he’ll never have a bean and
you’ll end up practically supporting him.’
‘Don’t say that,’ she pleaded. ‘I’m trying not to think
about it. And don’t mention any of this to him, will you?
Promise?’
‘I promise,’ Cara said. ‘I’ve got enough on my plate at
the moment what with Zoe going. I’ll miss her so much.
She’s a complete wagon for not telling me until now.’
Ricky was buried in the fridge when Cara mooched into
the sitting room. A plate surrounded by a sea of crumbs
was evidence that he’d made himself a sandwich and was
now looking for something else to eat. Cara hated the way
he treated the fridge as an extension of Phoebe’s body available for his sole use at any time. She wouldn’t have
minded so much if he’d occasionally bought any food by
way of a contribution. But no, Ricky’s idea of contributing
to the household was cleaning out the cupboards when he
was hungry.
‘Hi, Cara.’ he said breezily, emerging from the fridge
with the last rhubarb crumble yoghurt.
‘That’s mine,’ she said indignantly.
Ricky gave her his puppy dog look, the one he used
when he was trying to borrow money. That was probably
how he’d got by in college, Cara thought grimly. One
beseeching look and no female lecturer could resist him.
‘Sorry,’ he said dolefully and pulled back the tin foil lid
anyway.
He was so incredibly good-looking, with a face like a
Calvin Klein model and the body of one too. Yet once you
knew Ricky for any length of time, Cara maintained, you
stopped noticing how wonderful he looked because he was
such a gigantic pain in the neck. Beauty was only skin
deep, whereas being dense cut to the bone.
Knowing she was being a softy for not screaming at him
about snaffling up her food, but unable to say anything
because he was Phoebe’s boyfriend after all, Cara sat down
in the good armchair and turned on the TV. As she flicked
through the channels, she hit upon some rally cross on
RTE 1 and quickly flicked to the next channel. Even Ricky
wouldn’t have the nerve to demand to see rally cross when
it was time for Friends.
‘oh’ he said in outraged tones, ‘that’s the programme I
wanted to watch!’
Cara spun around in her chair and fixed him with her
steely gaze. Rhubarb crumble was one thing, Friends was
another. ‘Tough.’
They were watching Friends in grim, very unfriendly
silence when Phoebe walked in, scented and made-up in
another of the hot little numbers she’d bought ‘specially
for Ricky. This one was a body-moulding floral see-through
top worn with tight metallic sheen trousers. It was wasted
on him tonight. Like a petulant child who wanted a
squabble refereed, he flicked back his silky hair and said:
‘It’s a repeat, Phoebe, and the rally cross is on!’
‘Ricky …’ said Phoebe, looking torn.
‘It’s our television, Ricky,’ snapped Cara angrily. ‘If you
want to watch rally cross, go home!’
‘It’s a repeat!’ he cried back.
They both looked at Phoebe expectantly.
‘It is a repeat,’ she said reluctantly, looking meaningfully
at the television where Rachel was wearing her Princess
Leia outfit for Ross.
‘Fine,’ Cara said, getting to her feet, furious that Phoebe
had taken sides in this delicate matter. It was her flat too.
‘You two watch whatever you feel like, but when you want
the rent paid, Phoebe, don’t forget to ask Ricky for his cut,
seeing as the big gobshite lives here now!’
With that, she stormed out of the room, only stopping
long enough to grab her coat and purse, before marching
out of the flat.
The sunshine of earlier had given way to a consistent
drizzle and she ploughed into the rain, not really knowing
where she was going but determined to go somewhere.
She couldn’t visit Zoe because there’d been a faint sense
of restraint between them since her friend had
announced her intention to move jobs. Ewan was at
soccer practice. To cap it all, she realised guiltily, she’d
managed to antagonise Phoebe, sweet, goodhumoured
Phoebe who wouldn’t hurt a fly. It wasn’t her fault she
had a thoughtless, feckless boyfriend who thought work
was a four-letter word and believed that mi casa, su casa only worked in the su casa variation. It was bloody Ricky’s fault, Cara thought miserably, pulling the collar of
her jacket up to protect her neck against the rain. What a
wonderful day. Everyone she could have talked to was either not really talking to her or doing something else.
Premenstrual, depressed and feeling as if the entire world
was against her, Cara decided she had only one real
option - she’d go and get terribly, terribly drunk.
‘Zoe’s at the dentist,’ Cara heard herself say in a sprightly
voice when Bernard’s secretary rang their bolt hole office
at half-nine the next morning. ‘Didn’t she mention it? No?
Root canal, I think.’
She slammed down the phone and sank her head on to
her arms, anything to relieve her thumping headache.
It had been a mistake to go to McSorley’s in Ranelagh
where she’d bumped into a crowd of Phoebe’s bank pals
and ended up spending a riotous evening with them,
slurping back beers as if the girl from accounts in the