"Of course I did. It’s a big house, you can
have whichever room you want, though I do expect us to be a
partnership, to communicate, and work at our marriage together. We
won’t be just two strangers living under the same roof. We’ll go as
slowly as we need, but we need to at least try to get to know each
other, and build a friendship if nothing else." He finished packing
his bag, and sat back in the chair he had vacated earlier.
"Okay, I think I can do that. Can I ask you
something?"
"Anything, shoot."
She took a deep breath, and prepared herself
for what she needed to know. "What possessed you to marry a total
stranger? You keep talking about marriage being sacred and special,
and I saw you bow your head before you ate. Why would someone that
believes in something that much do something so, so…."
"Stupid? Irrational? Thoughtless?" He
interrupted her with amusement lacing his tone and a raised
eyebrow.
She couldn’t respond. It was none of her
business, she shouldn’t have asked. All of the confidence she’d
gained earlier left her, she knew better than to speak out of turn
to a man, keeping her tongue under control had always been an issue
for her.
She heard him sigh heavily, and then begin
his explanation. "I met Kara right after I graduated. I worked at
her father’s firm. We were engaged for almost two years. Today was
supposed to be our wedding day. I guess I was wallowing in self
pity, I wanted a wife, and well, there you were, and you…you said
yes." He shrugged, and looked down at the table, not meeting her
gaze.
"That makes sense, what happened? With you
and Kara, I mean. Why did you marry me today instead of her?" She
thought she should be angry that he had just married the first
person to say yes, not because he cared about her, or wanted her
but because he was mourning the loss of another relationship. She
couldn’t bring herself to be mad at him. She was using him,
too.
"My dad had a second heart attack, so I flew
back home to be with my family. I came back a few days earlier than
I planned, I went to her apartment to surprise her and found her in
bed with another man. It turns out she had been in love with him
for most of her life. Her parents approved of me; I was a suitable
husband for her. They don’t approve of the mechanic she was with.
She intended to be married to me while dating him at the same time.
I realized that day that she never really cared about me. That was
a little over seven months ago. I quit my job and moved back home
that same week."
She was surprised he was being so honest with
her; he certainly didn’t have to be as forthcoming as he was. In
her world no one was honest about who they were, ever. It made her
feel a little more comfortable around him. He tolerated her
questions well, even if they weren’t appropriate, he didn’t seem
surprised or offended that she was speaking so openly to him. She
was shocked at how quickly she was warming to this stranger. She
had never felt at all at ease around a man before.
"I’m so sorry, that’s awful. No wonder you
married me!" She stood up, needing something to do, she looked
around the room to find something to sleep in, and then she
remembered she didn’t bring anything with her when she left. It
looked like she would be sleeping in her jeans. She cursed under
her breath and decided to head to the bathroom for a shower, she
turned on her heel and ran right into Brian.
She immediately jumped back at the contact.
"Here, wear these for tonight." He held out a pair of pajama pants
just like the ones he was wearing, and a white t-shirt. "Do you
need to go home and get your things? Quit a job? Or let your family
know? I’m sorry, I should have asked earlier. I wasn’t thinking."
She took the clothes he offered and stepped around him, keeping her
eyes downcast.
"Um, no, thanks for the pajamas." She smiled
weakly and headed toward the bathroom.
"Hey wait." She stopped and turned to face
him, he was in the middle of taking his shirt off, revealing an
unexpectedly muscled chest. She felt her eyes go wide, what was he
thinking? He had just said— "Trade me shirts. This one’s warmer,
and it’s the only casual long sleeve one I brought." He smiled a
lopsided smile and held the shirt out to her. She quickly swapped
him shirts and half ran to the bathroom to take her shower.
She stood in front of the mirror after her
shower, finger combing her hair. She didn’t even have a hairbrush
with her for crying out loud. She had used Brian’s toothpaste and
her finger to clean her teeth. She felt like she was making the
right choice-the only choice. She just couldn’t get over feeling
guilt at roping Brian into a loveless platonic marriage. It might
be in her best interest, but it certainly wasn’t in his. He’d want
a real wife, and kids. He would want someone that shared his
faith…whatever that was, he hadn’t really talked about it at all,
but she could tell he was some sort of religious. That was
something she hadn’t been in years, not since her father’s
betrayal. What kind of a God would allow a child to lose both of
her parents, and then have to live in that hell?
Not any kind she wanted to be associated
with. A few of the other girls she knew had clung to God, but not
her, she couldn’t. The God she experienced first hand was not the
same God that her mother had taught her about as a child.
Her thoughts flitted back to Brian, surely
he’d get enough of this sham and kick her out eventually. She’d
just have to save enough money and hope that he’d let her stay with
him until she could stand on her own two feet. She looked at her
reflection in the mirror, her brown eyes were too big in her face,
she could see the dark circles underneath and her complexion was
much grayer than she recalled, her hair was almost black from the
water, it hung down below her shoulders soaking the top of Brian’s
shirt. She grabbed the blow dryer and began drying her hair and the
shirt, though she knew it was too wet to get it completely dry.
She was glad that he had traded her shirts at
the last minute. This one was much thicker and darker than the thin
white one he had first handed her. She was really glad he had
thought to trade her, and then it hit her, he was protecting her
modesty. That had to be part of it; he knew that the thin white
material would leave nothing to the imagination. Her eyes welled
with tears, no one had ever done something so sweet, and caring for
her, men always wanted to get her out of her clothes, not into
them. The thought caused tears to well up in her eyes, she blinked
them away. She didn't know what to make of him wanting to get her
into more clothes instead of less, this was a first for her. And he
was her husband! She shook her head and let out a small laugh, her
husband. Never in a million years did she see her life taking this
turn. She turned off the blow dryer, tied her hair into a loose bun
with a hair tie she had in her pants pocket, tightened the
drawstring on the way-too-big pants, and walked back into the
room.
She started to tear up again when she rounded
the corner and saw that he had pushed the table and chairs closer
to the bed and was laying out a makeshift bed near the heater.
"Thank you." She said, choking down the tears that threatened to
spill over.
He looked up and smiled as he dropped the
blanket he was holding. "For?"
"For trading me shirts, so I would be more
covered, and for going out of your way to make me feel comfortable.
I’ll gladly sleep on the floor." She could feel herself starting to
trust him, not completely, but more than she ever had any other
man. In a matter of hours he was chiseling away the walls she had
taken years to erect.
"You absolutely will not be sleeping on the
floor. What kind of a husband would I be if I allowed that?
Besides, my momma would have my hide if she ever found out I
treated a lady like that." He gave her a broad smile.
"I promise I won’t tattle on you to your
mother. Please, it’s your room; you shouldn’t have to sleep on the
floor."
"It’s our room, and whether or not you tattle
on me, I’ll know. You are not sleeping on the floor. I won’t hear
of it. Now, get to bed, our flight leaves at nine."
She arched an eyebrow, "I thought your flight
was at two?"
"It was, but while you were locked in the
bathroom, I called to book another ticket and they said the flight
was filled up, but that they had two available seats on an earlier
flight, so I had to switch it." That was a relief, the sooner she
was out of here, the better. Maybe luck was on her side after
all.
"Okay, sounds good. Goodnight." She climbed
into the bed and switched off the bedside lamp, thankful that she
had left the bathroom light on, she may be starting to trust him,
but it was best not to be in pitch darkness with him, he was still
a stranger. "Goodnight, we’ll go shopping and get you some clothes
after we land in Des Moines." "No, thanks, I’ll be fine with what I
have. You’re already doing plenty for me." She couldn’t allow
herself to get any further into debt with this man.
"You’re my wife. You need more than one
outfit, you don’t even have anything to sleep in, we’ll go
shopping." His tone told her it was closed for discussion, but she
couldn’t help but push him.
"I’ll be fine, I can wash them every couple
of days, and maybe you’ll let me keep using these? But, if not,
that’s okay too." She added quickly.
"That’s just crazy. We’ll go shopping and get
you some more clothes, and some pajamas that fit you, those are
about to fall off. Besides, you’re going to need warmer clothes
anyway, it may snow well into April, you never know."
She sighed heavily, "Fine, a couple of
outfits, but just enough to get me by, we aren’t going crazy. No
pajamas, I like these." She tried to sound authoritative, but
wasn’t sure if she succeeded.
"Fine, we’ll get you a pair of your own, a
few sizes smaller-in green. Now go to sleep, the alarm is set for
five thirty." She didn’t add anything; she rolled to the farthest
edge of the bed, putting as much distance between them as she
could. She was exhausted from the long day, but couldn’t allow
herself to sleep. Not with him in the room, he seemed benign, but
she well knew that looks could be deceiving.
Brian shut the alarm off right before it was
set to go off. He’d heard Aria tossing and turning most of the
night, she had just finally fallen asleep, he decided it would be
best to order room service instead of going out for breakfast, that
way she could get a little more sleep. He could tell it was
difficult for her to be in the same room with him, he knew she
didn’t trust him. He would do anything to make her trust him; they
couldn’t make a marriage work if they didn’t have trust. He was
certain his dad would say that trust was one of the keys to
marriage.
James Harris was forever telling his children
what the "keys to marriage" were, there seemed to be an infinite
number of them. His lips turned up at the thought, that’s what he
wanted; a marriage like his parents had. They were deeply in love,
it emanated from them, it was obvious how much they adored each
other. He knew he couldn’t have that kind of a love with Aria, yet,
but he prayed they one day could, someday.
Room service knocked on the door and he saw
Aria jump up immediately at the sound. He had been tiptoeing around
the room while getting dressed, careful not to wake her. She looked
like a deer caught in the headlights, he watched as her eyes darted
all around the room, searching for danger.
"I ordered us breakfast." She swallowed hard
and nodded. He placed the tray on top of the small refrigerator
just inside the door and tipped the young man that delivered it.
When he turned around, he saw that Aria had moved from the bed to
the far side of the small table. He carried the tray of food over
and sat it down.
"I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I stuck to
the basics-scrambled eggs, toast, bacon, sausage, hash browns, I
made some coffee, and I have orange juice in the fridge. I can
order something else if you’d prefer." She shook her head and after
studying the tray for a moment, turned her chocolate gaze on him,
her eyes were shining with appreciation, similar to the look she
had given him last night when she thanked him, but not quite as
vivid.
"It’s perfect, thank you." She stood and made
her way to the coffee pot, all the while making a point to keep him
in her sights, he pretended not to notice as he dished up his
plate, but his heart broke at the knowledge that someone had hurt
her so deeply that she was constantly on alert.
"Would you like some coffee?" She broke his
contemplation.
"No thanks, I’ve already had two cups. Better
stick to orange juice for now." He gave her a smile, trying to hide
his earlier grief, as she made her way back to the table.
He bowed his head and prayed a silent prayer
for his marriage, his wife, their journey home, his family, and
tagged on a prayer of thanksgiving, and asked the blessing on the
food at the end, as he almost forgot the reason for this particular
prayer. When he looked up, deep brown eyes were boring into
his.
"You can pray out loud, if you want to, it’s
fine. I won’t be offended or anything." Her statement made him
hopeful, even if she didn’t share his faith, she was at least open
to and accepting of him having it. He felt his lips pull up into a
warm smile.
"Good to know, I will next time. I’m
realizing we really don’t know much about each other. I don’t want
to push you, or make you uncomfortable in anyway." She smiled a shy
smile and assured him he’d be the first to know if he did. They ate
in amicable silence for several moments, before Brian’s curiosity
got the better of him.
"Are you…a Christian?" He was hopeful, but
something in his gut told him he wasn’t going to like her answer,
or maybe it was the immediate blush, downward glance, and bead of
sweat that formed on her forehead.