No Deal Breakers (4 page)

But, they weren’t really, legally, maybe, but
they had never consummated the marriage and she had no intention
to. She knew as soon as he finally realized that she wasn’t going
to be the wife he needed he’d drop her like a hot potato. All men
only wanted one thing from her, and she was sure Brian Harris was
no different, even if he seemed to be. She wanted him to be
different, but she just couldn’t let herself go there. No man would
accept what she had to offer; a platonic, loveless, charade of a
marriage. Friendship at most.

"You’re impossible. And you have the worst
handwriting I’ve ever seen, are you sure you’re a lawyer and not a
doctor?" She cringed, she shouldn’t have said that, she needed to
work on keeping her tongue under control.

"My mom says the same thing!" She raised an
eyebrow, "That you’re impossible, or that you write like a doctor?"
He smiled widely and held open the door for her.

"Both."

"Oh, and what exactly are ‘hair things’ and
‘other smelly things’?" He laughed, and raised his hand in the
direction of the Bath & Body Works they were passing.

"Well, that entire store. I don’t really
understand it, but I know my mom and sister always had copious
amounts of lotions, gels, and sprays from there. Hair things- you
know, pony tail holders, clips, headbands, all those little do-dads
that Julia had boxes full of."

"Julia?" She could have sworn the ex-fiancée
was Kara.

"My little sister." He nodded emphatically
and steered them into a large department store.

"Do I need to baby sit you to make sure you
get everything on the list, or do you think you can handle it?" Did
he suddenly think she was rich and could just afford everything on
his ridiculous list? Was she wrong to assume he’d be taking care of
it? She didn’t have a penny to her name, she wouldn’t be able to
live up to his expectations, what if this was a test, what if…
"Hello, earth to Aria. Are you okay?" She had been so lost in worry
that she hadn’t even noticed Brian trying to get her attention. She
nodded.

"Do you want me to shop with you for a bit,
or do you want to split up and get everything we both need, so we
can be on our way quicker?" He was studying her intently; he must
have seen the worry in her face because he reached into his pocket
and pulled out his wallet. "If you want to split up, you’ll need
this." He handed her a debit card with his name stamped on it.
Relief flooded through her, she didn’t expect him to do all of
these things, or even want him to, but she couldn’t have lived up
to his expectations alone. She swallowed hard and tried to
smile.

"Thanks, I think I can handle shopping. How
long do you think you’ll need? Do you want to meet at the food
court?"

"I shouldn’t be more than two hours, food
court’s fine; you have my number if you need me. You shouldn’t have
any issues using the card, but if you do, just call. Don’t worry if
you don’t get everything before we meet, we can finish after we
meet. I just need to pick up a couple of things." He was just going
to trust her, an almost stranger, with his bankcard? Was he insane?
Well, probably, he did marry a stranger after all…well, so did
she.

"Two hours. Food court. Got it. I’ll spend as
little as possible." And she meant it, she was already
uncomfortable using his money, and his little list could add up
quickly if she let it.

He shook his head; "We aren’t made of money
by any means, but we can afford a little shopping spree today.
Don’t worry about price for today, okay? I’ll see you in two hours,
call if you need me, even if you just need a shopping buddy, I’m
great at carrying shopping bags." He winked, and they parted
ways.

She looked around the enormous store he’d
left her in, she didn’t have the slightest clue where to start, she
hadn’t been into a store in over a decade, and had never been left
to shop on her own. She looked down at the piece of plastic in her
hand, she wasn’t even sure she knew how to use it, she shoved it in
her pocket and decided she’d start with jeans. She looked down at
the grubby ones she had on, they were almost too large for her, and
hadn’t been washed in over a week, they were stained and fading,
but they were all she had.

Looking at the piles off new, clean clothes
in front of her was overwhelming, the last time she had something
brand new to herself was when she was twelve. She wasn’t even sure
what size she was, she sighed and picked up four pairs all in
different sizes and trudged off to the dressing room.

Zero. She was a size zero, the thought
depressed her, she was sure most women would be elated to be so
thin, but seeing the number…or rather lack of number, just reminded
her of years of hunger pains, mistreatment, and of being nothing.
There was a reason she was so small and it wasn’t due to a healthy
lifestyle and good genes, it was due to too much work and not
enough food. All of the meals she’d shared with Brian so far came
to mind, he allowed her to eat whatever she wanted and however much
she wanted, she hadn’t felt so satisfied in years.

She smiled and picked out a couple pairs in a
size larger as well, with any luck, she’d continue to eat until she
was satisfied, and she’d become an actual size again. She had
always been naturally thin, but never like this. She examined
herself in the mirror, she didn’t have any curves, and she could
see every bone clearly. She shuddered, she was a pile of bones
covered in skin, she hoped to change that by living with Brian and
being allowed to eat her fill. That is, until he’d had enough of
her.

She shook her head, quickly put on her old
clothes, gathered the jeans she’d selected and made her way back to
the clothing department. She wasn’t even sure what was "in" right
now, she looked around studying the other women shopping around her
when a friendly looking sales clerk bounced over and offered her
assistance. Aria was relieved that the young girl, Mandy, would be
helping her, and Mandy seemed more than happy to help her shop for
an entire new wardrobe.

Mandy made quick work of the list and before
she knew it she had almost everything checked off of her list. She
had watched a few other people pay using the card machine before it
was her turn, so that wasn’t much of a problem after all. What was
a problem, however, was how she was going to carry all of her
bags…and she still had one more store to stop at.

After a quick stop at Target for the rest of
her items, she made her way to the food court. She felt like a pack
mule with all the shopping bags she had draped over her arms, she
was pretty proud of herself, she had gotten everything on his list
in just under two hours, and with much less money than she had
thought she would spend. He said he wasn’t worried about cost, but
she was. She didn’t want to spend any more than necessary, not
knowing his financial situation very well.

He spotted her coming near his table and
jumped up to relieve her of some of her cargo. As he slid a group
of bags from her arm, his fingers gently brushed the exposed skin
of her wrist, it wasn’t intentional or sexual, she knew that, but
it still made every hair follicle come to attention. She quickly
withdrew her arm and several of the bags dropped from her arm to
the floor, and Brian immediately bent to pick them up and added
them to the group he had already taken from her.

"Sorry."

His eyebrows furrowed. "No, don’t be. I need
to be more careful. Do you want to grab a snack to tide us over for
the ride home, or do you have more shopping to do?" He needed to be
more careful? He was walking on eggshells for her, she was the one
with the problem.

"Nope, I got it all. How far is home that we
need something to ‘tide us over’?" His face split with a wide
smile, "It’s about a two hour drive from here. Are you sure you got
it all? Do I need to check?" She could tell by the glint in his eye
that he was only teasing about checking her bags, which were now
spewed across the table and two unoccupied chairs.

"No, I promise I got it all. Here’s your card
back. I look like a glutton compared to your three bags!" He took
the card and stuffed it back into his wallet.

"I didn’t need a whole new wardrobe, and an
arsenal of beauty products." Neither did I, she thought. "We’ll go
to the bank first thing Monday morning and get you added to the
account so you can have your own card. We’ll also have to go to the
DMV and Social Security office to get your name and address
changed. I was thinking that we would make the Durango yours, since
I have the truck."

She had to choke back tears again at his
kindness, she hadn’t had to fight back tears this much since….no,
she couldn’t let herself go down that path. If she did she would be
inconsolable for hours and she wouldn’t be able to hide the truth
of who she was from Brian, if he knew about all of her past that
would be a deal breaker, she was sure of it. She focused on Brian
and how incredibly generous he was, too generous. Someone like her
didn’t deserve him.

"Well, unless you don’t like it, we can
always look around for something more—" He must have noticed the
look on her face, she tried to make it more relaxed and open when
she cut him off.

"Oh, no, it’s not that, it’s just that…I…um,
I can’t drive. I was never taught, I don’t have a license."

"Right, taxis and public transit, that didn’t
even occur to me. I’ll teach you. You’ll need to know how to drive;
the nearest taxi is about thirty miles away, no busses, and no
subways. I suppose you could just ride Thunder everywhere." He
smirked. "Thunder?"

"My horse, you’ll love him. Let’s grab
something to eat before we hit the road."

"What do you like to do for fun?" They had
gotten gas and drinks for the road, and were finally headed home,
which, according to Brian was a small farm in the middle of
nowhere. Perfect.

Fun, she didn’t do anything for fun.
Everything she did was out of necessity. It was a reasonable
question; she just didn’t have a reasonable answer.

"I don’t know." She answered meekly.

"Well, do you have any hobbies? Anything
you’re good at and enjoy?" When he worded it that way, she could
think of a few things that she enjoyed and always wished she could
do.

"I like to sew; I’ve always wanted to try a
big quilt. I like cooking, I’m not very good at it, just the
basics, but I do like it. I used to read a lot when I was a kid.
What about you, what do you do for fun?"

"I love being outside. Whether it’s fishing,
hunting, riding Thunder, camping, hiking, working the fields, or
even golfing I love being outside with God’s creation. The beauty
in the constant changing of the seasons never ceases to amaze me."
She was a little surprised to hear that he liked hunting; she
didn’t take him for the outdoorsy, manly type. She’d been wrong
about him before.

"So, you farm and you’re the town
lawyer?"

"Sort of. After my dad’s first heart attack
he started cash renting our land, we still own it, but someone else
pays us to use it. My dad calls it lazy farming. We still make
money from it, but we don’t have to do any of the work. After this
last heart attack they decided to move to Maine to be closer to
Julia and the grand kids. They were going to sell the farm if I
didn’t want it, I couldn’t imagine anyone else owning it, my great
grandfather started it. That’s too much history to just throw away.
I love the farm, but I also love law, and helping people. I decided
I’d keep lazy farming and open an office in town. Things aren’t
exactly bustling for a small town lawyer, so a lot of the time I
help the Erickson family out in the fields." A little more of her
wall was breached when he spoke so lovingly and passionately about
his family, his farm, and his job. This man truly loved everything
about his life. He was faithful and loyal. That explained a lot
about his insistence on working at their marriage. It was very
telling of who he was.

"You rent to the Erickson’s then?"

"Yeah, about half of our land, the other half
we rent to the Parks, I help them occasionally, but they hire help
too. Todd Erickson and his wife, Anna are really good people. Todd
has always been like a big brother to me, they’re a great couple,
and their kids are amazing, they have ten, and she’s pregnant
again." She felt her eyes go wide.

"Eleven kids? Why?" He shrugged,

"Because God gave them eleven kids, I
suppose. The oldest six are adopted. They didn’t think they could
have children, so they did foster care, and ended up adopting,
during their last adoption Anna found out she was pregnant with
twins." She couldn’t envisage having eleven kids. Is that what he
expected, a whole houseful of kids? At this point, she didn’t know
if she would or could ever give him children. He said he’d give her
time, and that’s what she needed. Time to think and figure out what
she needed, and what she was capable of giving him, if
anything.

"They sound like great people."

"They are. We buy our eggs and meat from
them."

"You don’t buy your groceries at the store?"
She was suddenly filled with images of Little House on The Prairie
style living. He wouldn’t expect her to put in a garden and bake
bread, would he?

"Some of them, but other things are better
straight from the source. We always had chickens and a few hogs and
cattle to butcher growing up. When both Julia and I left home my
parents stopped raising their own and started buying off of Todd
and Anna, they really need the money, and I prefer the taste." He
shrugged, so this was her new life. Farm fresh eggs and eating meat
from animals that she’d probably get to meet first.

"How does that work? Every time you need
more, you call?" He let out a small chuckle at her naivety.

"We let them know when we’re getting low, and
how much we want, no less than a quarter of the animal, and when
they take one to slaughter they let us know. We have a few deep
freezers for storing the meat. We always have plenty."