No Matter What (120 page)

“When he said he loved you, what did you feel?”

“Relief.”
 
India
couldn’t help laughing.
 
“I felt relieved that someone as wonderful as him could love
me
but, I just couldn’t say it back.
 
The words wouldn’t come out.”
 
She put her wine down on the table beside her and sat up, leaning forward, pushing her hands through her hair, sighing again.
 
“And the stupid thing is, I think I
do
love him.
 
I just can’t tell him that.”

“You deserve to be happy again,
India
.
 
So why can’t you just go with your heart and tell him how you really feel?
 
If you want the relationship to move forward, maybe it’s what you have to do.”

India
sat back again, picking up her ‘phone.
 
“You’re right.
 
I know you’re right.”
 
She smiled as she started typing out a new message.

“You texting JJ?”

“Nope.
 
Bobby.
 
I’ve had enough hassle for one day.
 
I need a night of partying with my gay best friend.”

CHAPTER 58

“Bobby, do you not think I’ve got enough glitter everywhere?
 
I’m starting to look like something out of a seventies dance troupe.”

“You can never have too much glitter, angel, and silver is so you.
 
You look stunning.
 
I could almost fancy you myself.”

She looked in the mirror and she couldn’t help smiling.
 
This was just what she needed, a night of escapism with the only person who knew how to do it right.
 
Bobby could always be relied on to make her feel better when things were getting on top of her and when she’d suggested a night of clubbing he hadn’t had to be asked twice.
 
Especially when he’d found out it was retro night in one of the Hotel’s clubs, with a 1970’s/1980’s theme.

He’d suggested they dress all retro too, hence the glitter and India’s choice of outfit which consisted of a powder blue, off-one-shoulder chiffon dress, pulled in at the waist with a thin silver belt, and very high knee-length powder blue stiletto boots.
 
They were in Vegas.
 
Getting hold of anything they needed had been easy.
 

Her blonde hair had been put into huge heated rollers and now fell over her shoulders in a style more than reminiscent of Farrah Fawcett in her ‘Charlie’s Angels’ days, and it sparkled with the glitter that Bobby had liberally sprinkled throughout it.
 
Glitter had also been sprinkled all over her shoulders, collarbone and cheeks and her make-up gave more than a nod to the seventies.
 
She did, as Bobby had said, look stunning.

“Here we go, princess, a little cocktail straight from the very creative mind of my Miguel.”

She took it from him and looked at it.
 
“What’s in it, Bobby?
 
I know Miguel is a master of the cocktail but some of them he knocks up can be bloody lethal and I’m wearing four inch heels here.
 
I’m not going to look very elegant if I fall flat on my arse within five minutes of entering the club.”

“Vodka, pineapple juice, gin and brandy.”

“All Puerto Rican measures too I bet,” she said, sniffing it.
 
“Jesus, Bobby, that’s pure alcohol in there!”

“You said you wanted some Dutch courage.
 
Incase you bump into Mr Handsome.”

“There’s a difference between Dutch courage and being knocked out senseless.”
 
She took a sip and felt it go straight to her head, making her giggle immediately.
 
“That’s quite nice, actually.”

“Told you.
 
My Miguel is an artist with a cocktail shaker and some ice.
 
His wrist action is second to none.”

“I’m sure it is.”
 
She took another sip and put the drink down.
 
“That’s all I’m having otherwise I’ll be dancing on tables again and that’s never pretty.”

“No, but at least you’re wearing underwear this time, angel.”

She stuck her tongue out at him.
 
“That was
your
fault.”

“I don’t remember shoving the drinks down your neck that night, missy.”

She sat down and looked in the mirror again, running her fingers through her hair.
 
“Christ, I’m starting to look like Layla.
 
Without the pumped up tits, of course.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.
 
You look nothing like her.
 
You look like a beautiful seventies starlet and you are going to have heads turning the second we walk into that club.”

She turned round and smiled at him.
 
“I love you, Bobby Castle.”

“I love you too, angel.”
 
He pulled her to her feet, fussing about with her hair. “And what are we going to do if Mr Handsome
is
around this evening?”

“I don’t know.
 
I hadn’t really thought about it.”

“We’re going to show him just what he’s fallen in love with, aren’t we?”

“Are we?”

“Yes, we are.
 
Then you’re going to tell him that you love him too, because you do.”

“I do?”

“Yes, you do.”

She smiled, looking at her
JJ
tattoo.
 
“Yeah.
 
I think I do.”

“Good.
 
That’s settled then.
 
Can we go now?”

She took one more look in the mirror, applied one last coat of lip gloss and took Bobby’s hand.

“Come on then.
 
Let’s hit that club and get partying!”

***

The music was thumping and JJ leaned back against the wall, holding his beer, watching everyone in the club around him as he tried to blend into the background.

He’d been out most of the afternoon, just walking around and thinking.
 
Maybe he
had
come on too strong with
India
.
 
She was right, she’d been through a lot and here he was, six months into the best relationship he’d ever had pressuring the most important person in his life.
 
He couldn’t believe he’d been so stupid and he’d kicked himself so many times for bringing it up now.
 
And why he’d come into this club he didn’t know, he’d just felt like escaping for a while.
 
Or running away.
 
He hadn’t worked out which yet.

He took a swig of beer and moved further back into the shadows.
 
He didn’t want any attention and he certainly didn’t want any female attention.
 
Not unless it was coming from the only woman he wanted it to come from, and he didn’t even know if she still wanted him anymore.

He took another drink and looked around him again.
 
That’s when he noticed a group of people looking towards the entrance of the club, heads turning as somebody walked in.
 
Somebody that was obviously drawing a lot of attention and he craned his neck to try and get a better look, his heart hammering away in his chest as he caught sight of the person who’d just made her incredible entrance.
 
His beautiful girlfriend, holding hands with her gay P.A., every male eye in the place directed towards her.
 
With good reason too because she looked amazing.
 
She looked like the ultimate movie star and he couldn’t take his eyes off her.
 
She was laughing at something Bobby was saying and suddenly JJ wasn’t sorry that he’d told her he loved her because he’d meant it.
 
He loved her like crazy.
 
Just watching her now was making him ache for her, but he didn’t move.
 
He stayed right where he was, watching her from the sidelines as she went straight to the bar, still smiling and laughing, talking to everyone around her.
 
She commanded attention without asking for it, it just followed her wherever she went because that was the kind of person she was.
 
Men almost automatically couldn’t help but look at her and she put women half her age to shame.
 
She was still as stunning now as she had been all those years ago when JJ had first watched her up there on the big screen.
 
If not more so in his eyes.
 
She’d grown up, and everything she’d been through had only made her more beautiful.
 
Jesus, he just wanted to go over to her, he wanted to know what was going through her head and what future, if any, they had together, but he couldn’t move.
 
Part of him just wanted to stand there and watch her, even though it was killing him.

***

India loved the music, she loved it’s loudness, loved the fact it reminded her of her teenage years and the nights out she and Charley had had back in the old days, way before their American adventures had begun.
 
She really needed tonight.
 
She needed to cut loose and do what she hadn’t done in a very long time.
 
She needed to party.

They headed straight for the bar, Bobby ordering some champagne to start with but she knew they’d be on the cocktails before too long.
 
She hadn’t got drunk in a long time either.
 
Maybe it was time to experience that again too.

“Oh God, Bobby, I love this song!”
India
screeched, as a Kylie Minogue track filled the room.
 
She grabbed his hand and pulled him out onto the dance floor.
 
“Me and Charley used to dance round our handbags to this one down our local pub in
Newcastle
most Friday’s.
 
They had the best disco nights there at weekends.”

“Sounds very classy, angel.”

“Hey, it was all we could afford back then, mister.
 
A couple of vodka’s and a bit of a flirt with Dave the DJ was our idea of entertainment, believe me.”

“Yes, well, I bet Dave the DJ’s kicking himself now,” Bobby said, twirling
India
round to the music as she laughed.

And then it happened.
 
She turned around and her eyes locked with his.
 
She’d seen him, and all she could do was stand there, looking at him, neither of them wanting to break the stare.
 
It was like everybody else in the place had just disappeared and they were the only two people left, this white hot burst of intensity filling the room around them.

“He’s here,”
India
said, still clinging onto Bobby’s hand.
 
“Joe’s here.”

She couldn’t stop staring at him as her heart started to beat hard and fast.
 
He was so handsome, so perfect and she couldn’t believe he was hers.
 
If she wanted him. And she wanted him so much.

“Ok, princess.
 
Remember what we talked about.”

She gave Bobby’s hand a squeeze, finally breaking the stare between her and JJ as she turned back to face Bobby.

“I’ll be over there, in that corridor leading to the toilets.
 
If he comes looking for me let him know where I am.”

“You want him to follow you?”

She smiled.
 
“Yeah.
 
Of course I want him to follow me.”

“He’d be crazy not to, angel.
 
Go on, get going.”

***

JJ tried to catch his breath, his heart still beating ten to the dozen and the only thought going through his head was how much he wanted her.
 
When she’d smiled that beautiful, warm smile he knew without a doubt that it was all going to be alright.
 
It had to be.
 
This was his future, this beautiful woman was his and he wanted to shout it from the rooftops.

She broke the stare first, turning to say something to Bobby before walking away from him and JJ didn’t know whether to follow her or just wait and see what she did next, but he couldn’t just stand there anymore.
 
He put his empty bottle down and started pushing through the crowd, trying to see where she’d gone, trying to find her in this mass of people, ignoring anyone who tried to stop him and talk to him.
 
Tonight he wasn’t in the mood for that.
 
He just wanted to get to
India
.

He got to Bobby first, who just indicated over in the direction of the toilets and JJ ran off along the thankfully much quieter corridor, only slowing down when he saw her.
 
She was leaning back against the wall, looking at him, the glitter in her hair sparkling under the lights and he walked over to her, slowly sliding his fingers between hers, his heart still beating like a drum, so loud he could hear it above the music.