OffsideChanceFormat2 (32 page)

“Is
this you proposing? Should I call Levi and tell him to make it a double
wedding?”

“You’re
an asshole, Brody. What do I see in you?” Will couldn’t decide if he was
joking.

“You’re
not the first person I’ve slept with to tell me that. You won’t be the last.”
Jude rolled away again. This time Will let him go. “I’m going to shower. I have
class in an hour.”

“Yeah,
sure, save me some hot water.” Will pulled the cover up to his chin and tried
not to think about the fact that he’d just gotten a taste of his own medicine.
Jude gathered up his clothes from the floor without a glance back to the bed.
Will punched the pillow the man left behind, but before he could cover his eyes
with it, Jude turned back.

He
stared for a moment, and the mask he wore to shut Will out seemed to fall away
again. “Twenty-eight. December twelfth.”

“Thirty-Three.
July twenty-fourth,” he replied with a nod. Jude smiled and nodded, but the mask
slipped back into place before he left.

*
* * * *

Will
fell into his post season routine as if his contract wasn’t on the line. He met
with his agents to work out his side of the details for continued employment.
 
He went to team meetings and scheduled work
outs at the team’s facility.

When
he wasn’t dealing with football business he was with the contractor he’d hired
to build his house and the president of the home owner’s association in his
neighborhood. The modified Creole townhouse would fit nicely in with the look
of the neighborhood, the president had confirmed, but he would have to present
the plans to the council for final approval. Meanwhile, the contractor would
start the ball rolling with the idea that they’d break ground the first week of
March.

The
one thing he didn’t do was Jude Brody. Jude had spent the week ignoring him for
the most part. Will didn’t see him often. Between classes and his volunteer
job, he stayed busy. When Jude was home, he would be closed into his bedroom
with the stereo turned up high.
Who the
fuck blasted classical music?

On
the Friday after the Super Bowl, Will went to Bo’s for his daily run. Bo and
Dylan usually ran with him. Seeing only Bo as he arrived at the track, Will
asked, “Where’s Sunday?”

“In
town. Therapy.” Bo answered stiffly before racing ahead of him, his long hair
flying behind him.

“I
take it this is a touchy subject?” Will asked between gasps of cold air when he
caught up. “I am getting too fucking old for this shit.”

“You’re
an old man, Slayer, this is true. They’re
gonna
put
your ass out to pasture soon.”

Will
flipped him off. He couldn’t keep up the pace Bo set. He stopped and bent over.
“That’s a distinct possibility ‘Cephus,” Will said when he caught his breath.
“My days are numbered. My knees aren’t too thrilled with the idea of another
season. But my brain is like ‘fuck that noise, we ain’t old.’”

“You’re
what, thirty-five?” Bo had stopped ahead of him and now jogged in place, his
long muscular legs the only thing Will could see in his bent over position.
“And stop
perving
on my legs, you dirty old man.”

“I’m
thirty-three, asshole. Same age as Levi. I’m not exactly a candidate for social
security just yet.”

“I
know that, Slayer, I just like messing with you. Speaking of Levi, how is
Jude?”

“Don’t
see him much. He keeps to himself when he’s at the house.”

“And
you’re not sleeping with him?”

“No.
Why? Are you asking me out? I’m afraid I have to say that you’re not my type.
Though with your hair, I could make an exception. Maybe I wouldn’t even notice
when I bend you over.”

Bo
snorted and slowed his jog. “First, I only bottom for Dylan. Second, he keeps
his
Ka
-bar strapped to his leg when he’s not in bed
or working out. He’d come after you if you tried anything with me. And third,
you’re too fucking old for me.”

“You
fucked Levi,” Will shouted. God, he hadn’t meant to shout, and he hadn’t meant
it to sound like an accusation.

Bo
sighed and stopped jogging in place “And that makes you angry... because?”
There was no real heat to his words, not that he’d ever heard Bo get angry,
besides that day nearly three years ago now when he broke down on the field.
He’d never seen Bo worked up about much of anything outside of a game.

“I’m
not angry. Christ, Bo, I’m not. I don’t know why I… it’s not my business.” Will
stood up and looked way up. He’d started this; he’d deal with where it went.

“You’re
right, my relationship with Levi is not your business.” Bo raked his fingers
through his sweaty hair and headed back toward the house at a walk.

Will
should have kept his mouth shut. He jogged to catch up, ready to apologize, but
Bo wouldn’t let him even open his mouth. He looked troubled when he turned to
Will. “That’s the problem isn’t it? We don’t talk about it? Dylan doesn’t talk
about it. Levi
won’t
talk about it.
Tracy… well, he won didn’t he, got him on the rebound. And… we were together
for longer than he’s been with Tracy. And you’re pissed that I fucked Levi
behind your back? Well, fuck you Slayer.”

Will
caught his arm before he could take off on him. He’d never catch Bo, he wasn’t
built for that kind of speed. He was just a bull in a china shop, so he did
what he did well, and he moved to tackle him. Bo tried to shake him off, but
Will wasn’t that easy to shake. “Talk to me, Bo.”

“You’re
an asshole, Slayer. A homophobic asshole. Why should I talk to you?” Bo stopped
struggling and sat down hard, right in the middle of the track.

“Because
you look like you could use someone to listen. I’m not much of a listener, but
I’m willing to give it a try if you are.” He followed Bo’s example and sat on
the track. Stretching his legs to work the kinks out, he let Bo work up to it.

“What’s
going on with you and Jude?” Bo asked, not at all the heartfelt outpour of
emotion Will expected to hear. But it didn’t matter, because Will wasn’t ready
to talk about the whole Jude Brody cluster fuck with Bo anyway. “You never
struck me as the type to ever be serious about anyone, but you’re different
around him. I’m just curious.”

Avoid
and redirect. Bo was a master of that, Will realized. He’d watched him deflect
conflict from all sides for years. “That psychology degree seems to have been
worth it.”

“It
was. When my contract is up in three years I’m going to medical school. Dylan
should be able to move on by then, I’m thinking California. His mother thinks
it’s a good idea. Anyway, that’s my plan. Can’t do this forever, and I’d rather
leave on my terms than wait around for management to decide to axe me like they
did Levi.” Bo lay down on the track and stretched. “You’re fucking Jude. It’s
obvious.”

“I
have fucked Jude, yes, I’m not going to deny that anymore. But it’s not like
we’re going steady. We’ve had sex a few times, nothing to write home about.”
Will decided to humor his friend.

“He’s
straight. You know that right? And frankly, the man scares the shit out of me.
He’s cold. Aggressive. He looks right through you and knows every damned thing
about you. I’d hire him to defend me if I killed someone, but I don’t think I’d
sleep with him.”

“He’s
not so bad when you get to know him. He’s different… he doesn’t let people get
close. He barely lets Levi in. They fight like nothing I’ve ever seen.” Will
chose not to point out the fact to Bo that his own boyfriend was a trained
killer. He wanted to keep his head on his shoulders.

Bo
nodded. “Abandonment issues. Levi has that too. Probably not as badly as Jude,
but still, they must have had one hell of a fucked up childhood.”

“And
yours was perfect?” Will didn’t understand his need to protect Jude. He tried
to keep his hackles down, but fuck, Bo was starting to piss him off.

“My
childhood was awesome. I had two parents who at least pretended to love me. I
had everything a middle-class only child could ever want. I had football and a
best friend that I loved. It was all a lie, but I didn’t know that until I was
an adult. You know southerners, we put on a smile and pretend everything is
fine. ‘It’s all fine. We’re all fine. See the big fucking luxury car

we just bought.’
While behind closed doors my parents couldn’t stand each other. They put all of
their energy into me, and when I stepped out of line the first time…” Bo sliced
his hand in the air as if trying to chase away the memory of that day when he
lost the love of his life and his family at the same time. “Yeah, my childhood
was fucking awesome. But I don’t have mommy or daddy issues. And I sure as hell
don’t have abandonment issues. What about yours?”

“Big
fucking family, absent father, too much on one side nothing on the other. Nah,
I’m not fucked up in the slightest. Can’t commit because I’m terrified I’m just
like my father. Won’t commit because I’m not interested in family entanglements
when mine is a laugh riot. So I guess I have daddy issues. I didn’t know mine.
He came home, he left money, he went away. He’s still away. I see him a couple
times a year but I have to go to him. My mom is a spoiled rotten princess. I
love her to death but the term ‘high maintenance’ was coined just for her. And
the kicker is I chase women who are just like her… or strippers. Nah, I’m not
fucked up at all… and now I’m fucked in the head over a dude. A cold
motherfucking dude with so many issues it isn’t even funny.”

Bo
laughed. “At least you have it figured out,” he said, but then fell silent and
still for a long time. Will stared up at the clouds moving across the winter

sky. It looked like
rain would be moving in that evening. When Bo finally spoke again, the truth
began to trickle out. “I’m jealous. I think. I don’t know, Slayer. I thought I
was okay. Levi and I were just… I never thought of us as lovers. But we were. I
needed someone to keep me sane those first few weeks. He did that. He kept me
from doing something stupid. The pressure, the media bullshit, it all hit me at
the same time, and I wasn’t prepared to deal with the hate. I’d expected it I
guess, but what was thrown at me…by teammates, the attacks, the slander,
the…shit… So much bullshit just because I’m gay, when I’d just lost the most
important person in my life and my family on top of that. Yeah, about Levi… it
hurts, I didn’t think it would hurt. When he asked Tracy to fucking marry him. I
thought I was cool with it. I thought…all I could think up on that stage while
it was happening was that he was mine first, and I hate that he moved on. And
then I started to hate myself because I was the one who ended it.”

“You
made a choice. Are you saying you made the wrong choice?” Will asked, not fully
understanding. Bo and Dylan were the perfect couple.

“I
don’t know what I’m saying. I love Dylan. I always have. But part of me loves
Levi too. Hell, when you get right down to it, my first real relationship was
with Levi not Dylan. Until Dylan came back we’d had a grand total of eight
nights together as a couple. I had nearly a year with Levi. He’s been with
Tracy for six months, and now suddenly he’s talking about forever. It was like
being

kicked in the gut.”

“But
you and Dylan have been together for a couple of years now. I’m confused, Bo, I
thought everything was good with you guys?”

“It
was. It is. There are times when it’s not. Like this week. He had an affair… after
he went back… he thought about breaking… he thought about another enlistment so
that he wouldn’t bring his shit home to me. So he freaked out and had a thing
with the CIA guy who nearly got him killed. I fucking hate him for that. For
lying to me. For almost dying. For thinking he was dead long enough to fall for
someone else.” Anguish shone on Bo’s face as he picked up a rock from the dirt
track and tossed it into the grass.

“For
Levi?” Will asked tentatively, trying to keep his shock under control. Of
course Levi. He’d seen that much Super Bowl Sunday. So had Dylan.

Bo
nodded but refused to look Will in the eye. “For Levi. I don’t know if I was in
love with Levi. I didn’t think I was then. I liked being with him. It was like
I had a friend again, a friend with huge fucking benefits. It was almost like
being with Dylan again, but not quite. I know he wanted more from me. Before
news came that Dylan was upgraded to MIA from KIA, he asked me if I was

seeing anyone besides
him. He asked me if I’d consider not seeing anyone besides him. I told him I’d
think about it. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me.”

Will
was way out of his depth here. Bo was barely even a friend. “I don’t know what
to tell you, man. Sounds like you’re jealous, yeah. But is this something
you’re willing to act on? Do you want to tell Levi you love him, I mean for
real love him? Do you want to tell Dylan that you made a mistake by choosing
him? What do you want to do?”

“I
didn’t make a mistake choosing Dylan,” Bo answered. “The mistake I made was
letting Levi go, but I didn’t make a mistake in being with Dylan.”

“So
you want them both?”

“Yes.
No. I don’t fucking know. I’m angry that he felt so little about me that he
wants to marry the first guy to come along after. One who looks like me. Did
you notice that? Tracy looks almost just like me.”