OMG! I'm in Love with a Geek! (41 page)

I know this place has been a place of real change for you, Keith, but let's not expect a miracle.

I must say though MGK is NOT being the total nightmare I'd thought she'd be. She's being quite … OK.

OMG – there's something moving in my sleeping bag.

It's fine – it's just my actual other foot.

There is something moving outside. It's HUGE.

It's Butterfly – she is going to wee in the bush as it helps the flora and fauna grow.

Me and MGK are holding everything in till the morning – we'd rather be uncomfortable than suffer a comedy death being bitten on the bum by a poisonous something or other.

Even MGK cannot sleep. She just asked me if blue-ringed octopuses can walk inland (she's been googling dangerous stuff too). I told her I didn't think so. Then I told her snakes give them a lift – it has been known.

She believed it. She's put her towel around her head.

I've told her I was joking but she has kept the towel around her head. She says she is now doing it for a laugh. I can't actually believe how much we are …
gettting on
giggling.

I can't write any more. While I'm writing I could be attacked by something!

We are back from camping. We slept all day Sunday and all last night. Keith was a bit upset that we didn't connect with nature more but MGK told him that we did connect with our sleeping bags AND HE LAUGHED!

To be fair it was a bit LOL.

I've offered to take the washing to the laundrette.

NOW MGK is coming with me too! She has Butterfly's green washing powder and the chance to ruin everything.

The fit laundrette boy is called Lachlan!

How do I know? Because he talked to MGK for 4 HOURS.

4 HOURS of watching gorgeous people flirt and listening to tumble dryers. We are meeting again tomorrow too! It's either go with MGK or join Keith and Butterfly for a meditation morning.

You never know – there might be ANOTHER fit boy in Tasmania!

Lachlan is completely in love with MGK. While they were “getting to know each other”, I got lumbered talking to an 85-year-old called Janet. Apparently she helps out at the local old people's home, even though it sounded like she should actually be living there. She had perfect eye make-up but mahoosive chin hair. That makes no sense to me! Whilst she was telling me about Mr Stephanopoulos (who has eaten nothing but sweet-and-sour-chicken every day for 6 years) Lachlan and MGK had already arranged to meet the same time tomorrow. GREAT.

Another boy lost to someone more beautiful. When will my love life explode? When will someone want me more than their skater mates or their gecko?

Goose would love it here. It's full of lizards. They run off when they see you though. Good. It's not like I'm their Number 1 Fan. Reptiles are the reason – OH, GOOSE, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

Lachlan is going to see his brother who lives somewhere with a name I can't pronounce tomorrow. MGK and him had a massive goodbye snog when the washing machine was on its spin cycle! I started LOLing because it sounded like they were making all the sloshing noises with their actual mouths.

They both stared at me as if I had officially ruined their farewell love session.

HA!!!

Texted Gran. Apparently fighting facial hair when you're over 50 is like fighting weeds in the garden. It's a constant job and sometimes in bad weather you can't be arsed.

I don't ever want to get old. Ever.

2 MASSIVE things happened today:

1. I SAW MY FIRST BIG AUSTRALIAN SPIDER this morning. Butterfly spoke to it like it was a dog. It WAS the size of a dog. MGK was asleep. She was probably dreaming about Lachlan.

2. I had a massive conversation with Keith.

Why is it ME who has to do the letting in? Why is it ME who always has to do the running and the chasing and the asking?

Slightly – in fact TOTALLY – sick of it.

At the laundrette today I met a man who was in the Vietnam War (there was a war there apparently). He narrowly missed a “bomb in the bunker” and ever since has lived “day to day”. He was really friendly – but why is it that people want to tell you their entire life story when they're cleaning their pants?! In fact everyone here wants to tell you their entire life story. They are very, VERY friendly. At first you think, “Are you weird?” or “What do you want?” and then you realize they are actually just being Australian and NORMAL.

Whilst he was telling me about nearly dying MGK was slurping Lachlan's face off. It's wrong to hear giggles and kissing when a man is telling you about jungle rations.

YES! I am jealous.

Finally there's ANOTHER fit boy in the laundrette! He's called Wayne! I know Wayne is the worst name on Earth BUT he has invited me out for coffee and cake in the mall on Monday. It's the best invite I've had since I got here!

I can't believe I'm writing this but I just had a lovely night with MGK, Keith and Butterfly playing Scrabble. We had pizzas made with VEGAN CHEESE on the barbecue and then played a board game. It sounds like DULLSTER VON DULLSTER but it was really funny. MGK made the word “tooch” – which is another model word and means “to stick your bum out”. Keith said, “That's not a word.” I said, “I've hardly got one and therefore I am banning it anyway!” and MGK started laughing like CRAZY but not in a horrible way. WHAT IS GOING ON?!