On Solid Ground: Sequel to in Too Deep (30 page)

Deer in the headlights reaction from every student in the room.

“July thirty-first is your deadline for giving me the location, date, and time of your performance. If I don’t hear from you by midnight on that date, you cheat yourself out of, not only a couple credits, but an experience that has the capacity to rock your world. Your performance dates must fall between August fourth and the ninth. If there are any of you who happen to plan your performance for the exact time as someone else, the person who claimed the date and time first will get it. I will be in touch if I need to help you reschedule. Questions?”

His eyes swept across the room. He had a satisfied look on his face. I wasn’t sure how I was going to pull it off, but I had to believe, with Calon’s creative help and Yaz’s teaching skills, I was going to be okay. August ninth was the last day of the semester, so that sounded like a good plan. It would give me the most time to prepare. And if I texted Daniel immediately, it would probably secure my choice in place and time. Place? Time? I typed in the number from the board and saved it as Daniel’s.

Me: Gracie Jordan, August 9
^th
, corner of College and Allen, 10pm.

I heard his phone ding. I knew my performance was set. He reached into his pocket and silenced his phone, “Now, you’ve got the rest of the class period to hash out your ideas. May I suggest you just brain storm. Make a huge list of everything that comes to mind. Spend this class time just doing that. You might be surprised where your right brain takes you. I’m here if you have any questions.” He sat down at his desk sat and punched something into his phone.

I turned to a clear page in my sketchbook and stared at what would soon be filled with a stream of consciousness list. My phone buzzed.

Daniel: Looking forward to it, Gracie
:)

I looked up and locked eyes with him. I smiled.

I had never let my guard down enough while I was with Noah to truly connect with other people. He’d gotten in a lot of jabs that he passed off as harmless teasing. But most of what he said hurt, and all of it had stuck with me. The Janis Joplin comment from the one party last year haunted me every time I looked in the mirror before I went out. Somehow, the music, my guitar, Daniel’s class, Jake’s reassurance, all worked to open me up to experiencing other people on a deeper level without the fear of judgment. It was a vulnerable place to be, but it was so beautiful. I wondered if that shift I was making was what had Jake so uneasy about Calon. He never saw me that open and transparent with anyone but him.

I looked back down at the blank paper and filled it with all my thoughts and emotions. I added the titles of the poems I wrote and ones I hoped to write. I scribbled down a few words that would remind me of certain things Sylvia had said. I wasn’t sure how I was going to compile all of it yet, but it was a good start.

In one of my counseling sessions, Sylvia had said, thanks to the post-traumatic stress disorder, I would always have triggers that take me back to the things Noah had said and done to me. I could learn how to handle them, and they would eventually not feel real-time, but it would take a lot of work. I was certain, opening for AT and completing this performance qualified as “a lot of work.” Good grief.

****

I walked home from class thinking about my brainstorming list. It wasn’t as extensive as I’d hoped, but it was a start. My phone buzzed and I instantly knew someone had already chosen my date and time for the poetry performance. But what I saw on my screen made me smile.

Sam: Hey gorgeous.

Me: Hey handsome!

Sam: What’s shakin’ bacon?

Me: You’re a dork. LOL

Sam: The feeling is oh so mutual.

Me: Nice. How are you? I miss you.

Sam: Miss you, too. But I’ll see you soon!!

Me: WHAT? WHEN?

Sam: Tonight, so put some fun shit on the social calendar

Me: AbsoFREAKINlutely!

Sam:
:)

“Excuse me, ma’am. Could you giggle and text on the
side
of the pathway instead of in the middle?” I turned to what I knew would be my favorite set of blue eyes.

“Jake! Sam is coming tonight!”

“I know!” He laughed. “It was supposed to be a surprise. He can’t keep anything quiet. Remind me never to tell him a secret.”

Me: Jake said you suck at keeping secrets

Sam: Jake’s a pussy

Me: SAM!

Sam: Sorry, that was offensive. He’s a vagina.

Me: SAM!!

Sam: You know, I kiss better than he does.

Me: Nope.

I grabbed Jake’s face with one hand, planted a big sloppy kiss on his puckered lips and stretched my arm out for a candid kiss shot and hit
send
.

“Gracie!” Jake hated the crazy candid photos I took of him.

Sam: Ew, gross. I would say I bump uglies better than he does, but I’m afraid of what picture you will send. Gotta go. See you freaks in a couple hours.

Me: YAY! Bye. Love you.

Sam: LY2

Thirty-eight

Jake

I had to meet Sam in the visitor parking garage on the other side of campus from the apartment. It was quite a hike, and I could have driven there, but I knew the extra run would help me mentally. He could have parked in his reserved spot under our building, but he’d rented it out for the summer. “Easy money,” he’d said.

“Dude, you tryin’ to show me up?” Sam pointed at my sweaty shirt then did the chest bump, back slap guy hug.

“Nah, just running a little more lately.”

“Well, hope you’re lifting a little more, too, ‘cause I got two bags to carry all the way down there, dip shit. I thought for sure you’d drive up here.” He handed me one of his bags, the bigger one, of course, and we headed across campus.

“So, you and Ashley, huh?”

“Yeah, man, it was the weirdest thing. I was out with some guys from high school and we were just kickin’ back at a sports bar when she walked in. She won me twenty bucks that night.”

“How so?”

“Well, Bill and Paul are always betting on whether they can get a girl’s number when we’re out. They scope the joint for an hour or so then pick one girl; if one of them gets her number, the other one pays him ten bucks. I never bet because it’s really just stupid. Dude, what are they building there? Wasn’t that one of the practice fields? They gonna make another field somewhere?”

“Sam, focus. Ashley.” Sam had the attention span of a gnat.

“Oh, right. So, of course, because Ashley is gorgeous, she was their bet for the night. When I realized who they’d picked, I told them I was in.”

“You didn’t let on that you knew her.”

“Wow, you’re quick.”

I stuck my foot out and tripped him up just a little. He dropped his bag and made a big scene just to crack me up. It worked.

“Anyway, she, of course, didn’t pay any attention to them, and I got her number.”

“She our age?”

“Yep. She’s great.”

“That’s awesome. Can’t wait to meet her.”

“She’s coming up tomorrow. So, you won’t have to wait too long. Hey, what’s Gracie doing tonight?”

“Mmm. We were planning on taking you to see fireworks.”

“What’s she doing for dinner?”

“Oh, now you can get some chick’s phone number so you move in on Gracie?”

“Funny. No, I thought
we
could
make
her dinner.”

When we got to the apartment, we dropped Sam’s bags off and jumped into my car to grab groceries.

“Dude, give me your phone. I left mine in one of my bags.”

I handed my phone over, assuming he was going to pick some music for the ride, but within seconds, he was cracking up...like busting a gut.

“What’s so funny?”

“I’m texting Gracie and pretending to be you.” He laughed at whatever he was typing.

“Jerk. She’s gonna kill you.”

“She’ll never know.” He tried to hold in a devious giggle but failed miserably.

I shook my head. She would know.

“Uh. She knows.” He dropped my phone in my lap and hung his head.

“How’d she figure it out?”

“You don’t call your junk
the squirmy worm
?”

“Um. No.”

“Shit. Mental note taken.”

This was going to be an awesome weekend.

****

“Squirmy worm? Really, Sam? You’ve known Jake longer than me and you didn’t think that would sound strange coming from him?” Gracie giggled from the moment she walked into the apartment for the Italian feast we’d made for her.

“I thought that’s what everybody called it.”

“Nobody calls it that!” Gracie and I spoke in unison.

“Gracie, you get to meet Ashley tomorrow.” A huge piece of lasagna fell out of Sam’s mouth and we lost it.

“Who’s Ashley?”

“Jake didn’t tell you? I kinda have a girlfriend.”

Gracie squealed and pounded on the table.

“We need some music!” Sam grabbed my phone, threw it on the dock, and hit shuffle. The deep base of Gracie’s favorite Jane’s Addiction song blasted from the speakers. She whipped her head around and grabbed Sam’s hand before he could sit down. And there it was, the half-time show. Sam and Gracie were known for their impromptu dance routines. I grabbed a couple plates and pushed my chair back. I put them in the sink then leaned against the wall and took it all in. My two best friends, laughing and singing to “Mountain Song” by Jane’s Addiction.

“Hell, no to the grinding!” I shook my finger at them when Sam tried to take it too far.

“Dammit, Jake.” Gracie giggled and winked at me. That sparkle I thought had all but died was back. She was glowing.

“Come on, let’s help the pussy with his dishes so we can get out of here and head downtown.” Sam pulled Gracie toward the kitchen. Sam rinsed the silverware and Gracie filled the dishwasher while I put all the leftovers away.

“Guys, dinner was delicious. Thank you for making me lasagna.” Gracie walked over and kissed each of us on the cheek.

“Well, I had the hardest part. Do I get an extra kiss for slaving over the lasagna?” Sam gloated.

“You made that?” Gracie looked shocked. I was typically the one who cooked. Sam was a big help with everything else, but food was my job.

“Well, Gracie, you sound so shocked. That hurts my feelings.” He frowned until she gave him another peck on the cheek. He smiled and shook his head from side to side, like he’d just one-upped me.

“Sorry, Sam, I didn’t know you could cook.” She looked over at me with a strange look on her face.

“It’s the Italian in me. I come from a long line of famous Italian cooks. We just know our way around a kitchen.” Gracie and I stopped dead in our tracks and gave Sam a look. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Sam, your last name is Johnson.”

Gracie got him with that one and I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe. It was like Sam and Gracie TV, and I loved every second of it.

Thirty-nine

Gracie

Downtown Knoxville was beautiful. Not one of us had ever stayed at school for the summer, so we had always done Fourth of July celebrations with our families and friends in our hometowns. I couldn’t wait to hang out with my two favorite men on the planet and watch the fireworks.

The festival took up the whole center of town. We walked around in the pink glow of the early evening sun. We drank fresh-squeezed lemonade and shared enough funnel cake to sink a ship. When we needed to sit for a while, we grabbed the only seats available, which happened to be the other half of picnic table already occupied by a young couple and their two small kids. I sat on the side near the woman and the guys shared the other bench with the man while we listened to a Caribbean band play the steel drums.

“I’m so sorry.” The woman, who looked to be close to our age, apologized when her daughter’s sippy cup landed in my lap. The two young parents were having trouble wrangling their two toddlers long enough to eat their dinner.

“It’s no problem. Are they twins?”

“Yes.” Her face lit up as she followed the little girl around the picnic table and back again to where I was sitting. “Emmit and Grace.”

“Nice to meet you, Emmit.” I turned and shook his little hand as he tried to climb over his dad’s shoulder to get to his mom, who was now standing directly behind her husband. I moved my legs around so the table was at my back just as two little pudgy hands touched my bare legs. “And, hello to you, Grace. My name is Grace, too. But my friends call me Gracie.”

A smile spread across her face, and she looked up at her mom.

“You guys go to UTK?”

We nodded.

“We met there.” She pointed back and forth between her and her husband, “I’m Sarah and this is James.”

“Nice to meet you both.” We all shook hands. “I’m Gracie, well, you knew that. And this is my boyfriend, Jake, and our best friend, Sam.” I kind of slipped when I called Jake my boyfriend, but he winked; assuring me it wasn’t a big deal. “We’ll be seniors next year.”

“A word of advice...” Sarah let Grace run after Emmit when he saw a clown with a huge bouquet of balloons floating over his head. She shooed James away to catch them. As soon as her husband was out of earshot, she continued looking back and forth between Jake and me, “Enjoy each other for as long as you can before you start your family. I wouldn’t trade being a mom for anything. Those two little people are my world; they have blessed me beyond measure. But I miss my husband sometimes. I wish we would have waited a couple more years to have kids. Spoil each other with your time while you have it. Pretty soon, you’ll be out of school and in the real world.”

“Honey! I can’t get Emmit off the clown’s leg!” James laughed and pleaded with Emmitt.

“Gotta go. It was nice to meet you all.” She smiled sweetly and ran over just as Emmit toppled over and started to cry.

It was an interesting conversation. It made me realize I’d become accustomed to taking everything day by day, but I needed to think about
my
future and what
I
wanted.