On Wings of Love (11 page)

Silence lingered between them.

“What do you suppose are Hannah’s odds?”

He watched Ruth’s expression freeze as she pulled her hand away and turned to put the tape and scissors away. “I honestly can’t tell you. I don’t know what her stats are or what the condition of her health is. Only her doctor can decide.”

More silence inhabited the bathroom, and Noah suspected Ruth hadn’t quite told him everything. At least he now had a starting place though. As he stared at Ruth, his thoughts flew back to that afternoon in the hospital. The woman, the clipboard. His sister’s words.

He finally got it. He understood. Michelle would have done the same thing had she lived. And she would have wanted her organs donated had she been eligible. He should be so selfless. He had no doubt Ruth had “organ donor” on the back of her driver’s license.

“Thanks.” Noah twisted his hand around and stared at Ruth’s handiwork. “You do good work. No wonder you were such a good nurse. Now that I’m almost as good as new, we’ve got lights to put in.” Noah strode from the bathroom.

Thirty minutes later, he stared at his handiwork above the garage. At least when Ruth came home late at night, she would have enough light to get inside the house safely from either the garage or the front door. He gazed at the woman who now walked out that same front door carrying two glasses of iced tea. Her smile made his heart beat a little faster, his breath come in short gasps, his mind begin to think about wanting to get to know her even more.

Because against his better judgment, the friends thing wasn’t working. He cared for Ruth, and his heart wasn’t safe anymore.

“Here you go. Thanks for doing this for me. I really appreciate it.” As Ruth handed Noah his glass, their fingers touched and created a tiny spark of hope. Noah was ready to conquer whatever else might be on Ruth’s to do list of projects so that he could stay near her vibrancy instead of facing the four walls of his condo with his newly found out information.

“No problem. Glad to help. Anything—” The trill of the cell phone cut off his sentence. The look of puzzlement crossed her face when she glanced at the number.

“Ruth Fontaine.” Relief filled her expression at the caller’s identity. “Oh, hi Samantha. I didn’t recognize the phone number. Well, no, I wasn’t planning on it. Not today, why?”

Noah tested the lights to give Ruth her privacy for the phone call, but he could still hear the one-sided conversation. What hadn’t she been planning to do? Had he intruded on her again with his questions and delayed her from going somewhere important?

Turning to face Noah with a look of uncertainty, Ruth ran a hand through her hair. He could see the indecision hover on her lips. “Oh, I can’t. I’ve got company right now. Please give him a hug and kiss for me and tell him I don’t want to see him back there any time soon. Thanks for letting me know.”

“Problem? Another job?”

Ruth shook her head. “No. That was one of the nurses at the Children’s Center. Carlos is being sent home today, and he wanted to say goodbye to me. She asked if I could come in and visit with the children for a bit.”

“And you’re not going?” Ruth’s answer surprised him.

“No.”

Yet written in her eyes Noah saw the anguish and despair. The fact she’d decided to stay with Noah didn’t go unnoticed, and it gladdened and troubled him. He understood Ruth’s compassion for her kids. He’d begun to feel it yesterday, too.

No longer willing to just exist in the self-imposed exile since Jeremy’s death, Noah wanted to reach out and return to the living. Those kids needed her, and Noah was more than willing to share. “But you have to. You can’t disappoint Carlos. Tell you what. We’re done here except for the cleanup. After I pack my tools, Houston and I will come with you.”

Happiness filled Ruth as she stepped back in beside him. She suspected she was seeing a glimpse of the former Noah, and her heart rejoiced.
Thank you, Lord.
“Of course. Just let me freshen up a bit and lock the house.”

“You look beautiful, Ruth.” Noah’s expression softened the longer he stared at her.

The pads of his fingers traced the contours of her cheek. What if there could be more and she’d finally found the one? The thought scared her into questioning his statement. “Really?”

“Really. Makeup would only hide the inner beauty that shines through. Michelle was like that too, but she insisted on the camouflage anyway.”

Disappointment and a tiny bit of jealousy singed every cell in her body. Ruth closed her eyes and turned into the palm of his hand, wanting to savor the moment before the fairy tale ended. She’d fallen for the wrong type of man again.

“I’ll drive since you’ve still got the rental. Any word on your car yet?”

“Nope. Though I don’t really think I’ll hear any good news. My insurance company said it would take ten days for them to determine it unrecoverable. Let me lock up the house then meet you in the truck.”

Silence accompanied them the entire ride to the hospital.

Twenty minutes later, Ruth waved to her friend manning the nurses’ station before they walked down the fourth floor hall. Ruth reached over and took Noah’s hand in hers, wanting to connect with him. Stupidity on her part, but the damage was already done. The moment passed as soon as they entered the playroom and the children engulfed them, pulling Ruth, Noah and Houston in separate directions.

“Who’s the new boy?” When she finally had a moment, Ruth asked one of the other nurses who stopped by to deliver medication. She pointed to the little four-or five-year-old towheaded child sitting by himself in the corner.

“His name’s Tommy White.” The petite redhead lowered her voice. “His foster family dropped him off when they discovered his medical needs were more than they could handle. He hasn’t spoken a word since.”

“What type of medical issues does he have?”

“He needs a heart transplant like Marissa.” The young nurse tsked as she wrote some notes on various charts. “I just don’t understand how the Lord can allow such terrible things to happen to innocent children.”

“It’s not up to us to understand His intentions. I just pray for everyone and do His will on Earth.”

“Well, I’m not sure how long I can continue to work in this area. It’s killing me to see them in such pain. I need to find another job that’s filled with more hope.”

“If I hear of anything, I’ll let you know. I’m Ruth Fontaine.”

“Maggie Carr. Pleased to meet you.” She shook Ruth’s hand. “I’ve got to run to the nurses’ station for a moment. I’ll see you later.”

“It was nice meeting you, too.”

Ruth’s attention strayed back to Noah, surprised to see him sitting against the wall next to Tommy. With his legs stretched out in front of him and Houston perched on his lap, they were both down on the boy’s level as if it were the most natural thing. But then again, Noah had experience with children. Firsthand experience. She remembered how uncomfortable Noah had been only yesterday, and her heart went out to him, hoping this wasn’t too much for his emotions again. Tears prickled the back of her eyes. She prayed Noah or Houston would be able to reach out and connect with little Tommy and bring him out of his shell.

She wandered back to the group of children playing Twister in the center of the room; yet she was fully aware of the man talking with the new boy on the floor.

“Hi, buddy. What’s your name?” Noah continue to sit on the dark green carpet and rest his back against the wall next to the little blond boy off in the corner by himself.

No reply.

Noah’s gaze skimmed the short, chopped hair, past his skinny arms that wrapped around his legs, down to the scratches on his feet that stuck out from underneath the blue and white hospital gown. Unease settled in Noah’s gut. Why was the boy here? He didn’t look sick.

And why, with all the children in the room, had he felt the need to come talk with this one? Though no longer on the outside looking in, Noah understood the isolation and loneliness. It couldn’t be that the boy reminded him of Jeremy. The resemblance stopped at the blond hair.

“I’m Noah, and this is Houston.” Noah tried again. He settled his dog more comfortably on his lap and ran his fingers through Houston’s curly hair, his gaze skimming the huge bookshelves filled with books and all the toys. The room reminded him of the day care center they’d used occasionally for Jeremy, not a room inside a hospital.

Still no reply from the boy.

Houston whined softly and stared up at Noah as if understanding what Noah was trying to do better than Noah knew himself. Anticipation surged through his dog as Houston stood on hind legs and licked Noah’s chin. “Down, dog. I know you want to make a new friend. Let’s give it a few more minutes.”

Houston whined again.

“Houston likes little boys. Would you like to pet him?”

This time Noah’s words got a small reaction from the boy. He turned his head and stared up at Noah and Houston, with big blue eyes, so much like Jeremy’s. His faced crumpled into tears.

Instinctively, Noah reached out and placed his arm around the boy’s bony frame and gathered him close. Houston jumped from his lap and paced around them as Noah rested his chin on top of the boy’s head and closed his eyes. Just feeling the small body against his brought out the father in him, and he longed to wrestle away the demons that caused the boy’s pain. He understood the look, the hopelessness in the boy’s expression. He’d worn a similar one.

A drop of water landed on the back of his hand. A tear. But was it his own or did it belong to the boy? He cared. Too much. He felt himself shying away from the contact. He couldn’t deal with this. What had this innocent child
done that God had seemed to turn his back on him? Why didn’t God care?

Or maybe He did.

The boy had been brought here to find refuge and care from whatever messed up placed he’d been living in.

Houston pawed at them before his warm, pink tongue licked the moisture from their faces. A tiny sound of laughter emerged. Then the boy reached out to pet Noah’s dog. “Nice doggie.” The child snuggled further into Noah’s arms and wrapped his own around Noah’s waist. Stunned, Noah remained motionless. Especially when he noticed both Ruth and the nurse staring at them. They quickly approached from opposite ends of the room with genuine smiles creasing their lips.

“Hi, Tommy. I’m Ms. Maggie. I’m one of the nurses who takes care of you.”

“And I’m Ms. Ruth.” Ruth sat on the opposite side of the little boy. She placed a hand on Tommy’s arm and rubbed it gently. “I come in and read to all the children and play games with them. What’s your favorite book?”

Tommy turned his head and hid his face against Noah’s chest. Tommy. The name suited the small child. Noah tried to pull his emotions back, but it was too late. He squeezed his arm around Tommy’s shoulders and let his joy at being able to express himself run down his cheeks. Thanks to Ruth, he’d come back to life.

“That’s okay, Tommy.” Ruth continued to rub his arm. “No hurry. Whenever you’re ready, we’ll be here for you. One of us will always be here for you. Either myself, or Ms. Maggie or any one of the nurses or doctors on the floor.”

“Me, too.” Over Tommy’s head, Noah looked at Ruth. He willed her to look at him, but her gaze fluttered to the
little boy in his arms. He missed feeling the connection with her and the way her green eyes softened to the color of shamrocks when she looked at him.

“Plus, I’ll be one of the coordinators keeping a look out for a new heart for you. Then you’ll be good as new. Marissa’s waiting for a heart, too. Would you like me to introduce you?”

Noah recoiled slightly. Tommy needed a new heart? The possibility hadn’t even crossed his mind that the boy had such a serious health issue. But then again, most of the children here weren’t in for the cold or flu. He rubbed his forehead and stared at the boy now holding Ruth’s hand as he trudged across the dark green carpet. He wished he could hold Tommy’s other hand and reassure him that everything would be okay.

Something told him that it would.

Still, it was hard to imagine that a complete stranger’s heart could beat in another person’s body. Or another person’s kidney could function inside Hannah and make her whole again. Just as Jeremy’s organs helped the people who received them live.

Wiping away the sweat that had gathered on his forehead, Noah leaned back and rested his head against the wall. As he closed his eyes and breathed in several fortifying breaths, his hands stilled on Houston’s fur. Each time he exhaled, he found himself letting go. Maybe it was time to finally look at the letters from Jeremy’s organ recipients.

When his cell phone rang, Houston jumped off his lap. One look at the number and his adrenaline surged. AeroFlight. Noah rose to his feet. “Desert Wings Aviation.”

He listened to the voice on the other end. “No problem. I’ve got one available. I’ll be at the airport in under thirty minutes.”

Disappointment lodged in his heart when he made eye contact with Ruth. It didn’t look like she would be the coordinator on this fly-out because she remained sitting on the floor amidst several children.

Noah also realized he’d have to wait until tomorrow afternoon to find the letters he’d stored away in order to acquaint himself with the people who had received his son’s organs.

“G
ood morning, Hannah.” Noah met his office manager at the door Monday morning and held it open for her. His fingers bit into the hard, metal door. She looked worse than when he’d let her go on Friday. “How are you feeling today?”

The redhead stared up at him in surprise as she crossed the threshold. “Fine, Noah. Or as fine as I can be under the circumstances.”

But she didn’t look fine. Dark circles punctuated the fatigue in her eyes, and her sallow complexion made her freckles stand out even more. Noah wished he could erase her problems and ease the tension radiating from her body. Maybe he could. His talk with Brad after they’d returned from the recovery last night had certainly been enlightening.

Hannah needed a new kidney right away, and waiting for a deceased donor wasn’t her only option. Tension tightened his jaw but he found himself ready to explore another alternative.

A fraction of a smile crested on her lips as she placed
her purse underneath her desk and sat down with a sigh. Too bad her words didn’t reflect the truth written in her eyes. Hannah was hurting and scared.

“How’s Dylan doing?” Noah leaned on the side of Hannah’s desk, making small talk because the words he wanted to say remained stuck in his throat.

Before turning on her computer, she straightened a pile of perfectly aligned papers on her desk and stared up at Noah, eyeing him speculatively. “He’s holding up well, thanks. Is there something you needed, Noah?”

Releasing his pent-up breath, Noah nodded. He crossed his arms in front of him and decided not to mince his words. Hannah didn’t look well enough to deal with the blinking red light on her phone, much less try and play a guessing game. “I was wondering if I could get your doctor’s name and number. There’s something I’d like to discuss with him.”

Hannah fisted her palms and started to stand. Before she wasted any more energy getting her defenses up, Noah held up his hand. “Hear me out Hannah. Please.”

Brad walked through the door, momentarily halting the conversation. One look between Noah and Hannah and Brad slipped behind Hannah and placed his hands possessively on her shoulders. She reached up and clutched his fingers. No matter how much both denied it, Noah suspected something was going on between them.

“Hear him out. I think it might work.” Brad massaged her shoulders.

Hannah nodded.

“I’d like to find out if one of my kidneys would be compatible for you.” There. It was out. He’d said the words, and the tangible relief he felt became evident in his expression.

“You’d do that for me?” A tear slipped over her bottom lash as she stared at her desk. She rearranged the papers on her desk again, but this time her hands trembled like a leaf in the wind.

“I would.”

“So would I,” Brad whispered.

Noah walked back into his office and let Brad console a crying Hannah.

Ruth kicked off her shoes before she sank down on the leather chair behind her office desk at the Arizona Organ Donor Network—if the tiny space next to the water cooler qualified as a real office. Her pantry was bigger than this, but since she rarely had to spend much time here, she didn’t mind so much.

She preferred being out in the field.

Sighing, she massaged her forehead with one hand as she dug in her purse past a pen, her checkbook, her wallet, her lipstick, a mishmash of old receipts she never remembered to file and a hair tie. No bottle of pain relievers. Her head hurt from lack of sleep. It was four o’clock on Monday afternoon, and she hadn’t gone to bed yet because she’d worked all night.

“Oh, for the love of chocolate.” Ruth sputtered as she dumped out the contents and rifled through them.

“What’s up?” Natalie Stanton, another donation coordinator, stuck her head through Ruth’s door. The perky brunette looked like she’d just had an eight-hour nap.

“Headache. Why are you so bright-eyed and bushy-tailed? We both worked last night, yet you look marvelous while I resemble something the neighbor’s cat dragged in.”

Natalie shimmied, for lack of a better description, across the drab brown carpet and parked her derriere on
the edge of Ruth’s desk. “That’s because I slept on the flight back. Yours was local. Looking for these?”

Reaching beneath the pile of receipts, her coworker pulled out the hidden bottle and handed it to Ruth. Ruth twisted off the lid, popped two pills into her mouth and then swallowed them with her lukewarm coffee. “Thanks for finding them.”

“Can I talk to you a second?” Natalie started to organize the pile of purse contents littering Ruth’s desk.

“Sure. What’s up?” Surprised, but too tired to chastise her coworker for pawing through her personal stuff, Ruth rubbed her temples to expedite her relief.

“What do you think about that new charter service we’ve been working with?”

Ruth’s stomach lurched, and she couldn’t be absolutely certain the painkillers were responsible. Glancing at the hardened expression on Natalie’s face, she knew her turmoil had nothing to do with her lack of sleep or her headache. She chose her words carefully. “I think they’re competent. More than competent. Why?”

With dread, Ruth anticipated Natalie’s rant. The woman’s beautiful exterior covered a small, petty and vindictive interior. More than once, Ruth had tried to show her the way of the Lord, but had been met with only resistance.

“Well, I think they should be fired. Brad is nice in a yummy sort of way and the other one never says much, but that Noah character reminds me of Scrooge. He never smiles, and he doesn’t treat us very nicely. He was better last night, but still, I don’t like him.”

And Noah had been doing so well, or at least he had a few days ago. Had something changed since yesterday? Butterflies took flight in her stomach. Regardless of what
Noah thought, or continued to think, Ruth didn’t believe that Desert Wings Aviation should be fired. She didn’t know much about how contracts were awarded, or how easily they could be broken, but the gleam in her coworker’s eyes meant Natalie would stop at nothing to get it done if possible.

Noah must have ticked Natalie off because he didn’t respond to her coworker’s blatant flirtations. Her conquests with pilots, doctors and other male staff was legendary at the network. The lives of those who didn’t succumb to Natalie’s wiles were made miserable.

Good for you, Noah.

“He may not be the nicest pilot we’ve had, but do you have a problem with how he flies the plane?” Ruth was glad her voice didn’t show any reaction to the man’s name.

Noah had snuck under her radar and caused a chemical reaction best left for the science lab. In fact, if Ruth didn’t know better she’d think she’d fallen in love…nonsense. Love didn’t factor in to how she felt about the man. Ruth started stuffing the contents her coworker had organized on her desk back into her tan leather purse. Her heartbeat accelerated. The image of Noah beat out the headache behind her right eye.

Natalie sniffed, a sure sign that Ruth had been added to her “them against me” list. The other coordinator tapped the desk with her long manicured fingernails and stared at her. “No. I have no problem with how he flies. Be that as it may, it’s his attitude that bothers me. And quite frankly, I don’t think his company should have the privilege of making money off of us unless he has a major attitude adjustment. What time do you think Ernie will be in this morning?”

A frown gathered on Ruth’s lips at the mention of their boss. Natalie was determined to make Noah’s life mis
erable again just when he’d opened up. His interactions with Tommy and the other children confirmed that. A cold lump wedged its way into Ruth’s throat. She needed to protect Noah because God had crossed their paths for a reason. “Please don’t say anything to Ernie yet. I’ll go talk to Noah, okay? Be a sport and give him another chance.”

An hour later, Ruth found herself at the front door of Noah’s condo. Her heart raced as if she’d just run the fifty-yard dash. Her gaze slid past the blue paint to the tiny circular light of the doorbell set inside a metal dog paw. She knew in her heart this was what she needed to do. Noah had made progress in the short time she’d known him. She couldn’t let Natalie win.

Ruth rang the bell and shifted in her black sandals. Using her hand as a fan, she managed to move the warm, slightly humid air around her and turned to her left to admire the sweeping scenery of the McDowell Mountains, which painted a picture of contentment and beauty. A crested saguaro stood guard next to the wrought iron railing surrounding a tiny stamp of green lawn beyond the neighbor’s flagstone patio.

A profusion of fuchsia bougainvilleas and yellow and orange birds of paradise hid the cinder block wall and added to the sense of heaven among the hot, dusty surroundings.

“Nice view, here. Sure beats looking at the neighbor’s cinder block wall and ornery cat.” Ruth spoke to herself.

From the side of the condo, Houston barked, ran skittering around the corner and then jumped up on her Capri-covered leg. Her lips molded into a smile.

“Hi, Houston. How ya doing?” Ruth leaned over to pat him on the head. “I’ve missed you, you silly dog. Did you miss me? I’m glad you and Noah got little Tommy to open
up. I just wish I could locate a new heart for both him and Marissa—and soon.”

Houston barked and licked her hand. A small gust of wind played with the leaves of the olive tree strategically placed to cast the small porch into shade from the afternoon sun. Houston’s wet nose felt good against her heated skin before he wriggled around in circles.

“Ruth?” Seconds later, Noah rounded the same corner as his dog with a large manila envelope in his grasp. Dirt and cobwebs covered him from head to toe. He stared at her in surprise and ran a hand through his hair before he brushed the front of his shirt. “Hi. What are you doing here?”

“Hi, Noah. I, um, stopped by to talk to you. It’s important.” Ruth bit her lip as her gaze wandered down the strong column of his neck to stare at his maroon-colored polo shirt. The spot that covered his heart to be exact.

She could almost see its beat match the rhythm of her own.

“Must be important to bring you to my doorstep. What’s up?”

Ruth bowed her head and prayed for strength and guidance. She prayed that Noah would accept what she had to say and be able to move past it.

“Noah, I realize that you still have a problem with flying medical teams around. Knowing about Jeremy, and who you dealt with at the time, I can accept that. You’ve come a long way since that first flight together, but others from my company can’t.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Noah flipped his gaze back to stare at her and drew his eyebrows together.

“It means that one of the coordinators wants to file a complaint with my company about your attitude. She also wants them to terminate the contract. She doesn’t feel
Desert Wings Aviation is a good fit.” Her voice softened and she breathed in the clean scent of Noah, which brought back instant memories of the companionship she felt with him, a friendship she wanted to deepen into something more permanent. The next thing she knew, she found herself in Noah’s open arms, her head against his chest. “I don’t want to see that happen. I think our company needs you. I know I do.”

“I’ve really messed things up, haven’t I? We need that contract to survive.”

Noah gathered her close, and she gloried in the feelings he evoked. Love presided in her rapidly beating heart. “It’s nothing we can’t fix.”

“I’m glad you’re here. And that you’re on my side.” Noah spoke softly as they stood on the tiny front porch outside his condo. Having Ruth in his arms chased away his lingering loneliness and cemented the decision he’d made yesterday. “I’m finally ready to look through the letters from the recipients of Jeremy’s organs.”

As he rested his chin on top of Ruth’s head, his gaze grazed the shadows stretching across his yard, the pale rocks shimmering in the waning sunlight. A rogue bunny hopped under a mesquite tree while a couple of Gambel’s quail ran down his driveway. Everything seemed so ordinary, yet what he was about to do was probably the most unordinary thing he’d ever done.

“Yes. I’d be honored to. Thanks for asking me.”

“Please, come inside.” Noah released Ruth but scooped up her hand before he ushered her into the foyer. Cold air-conditioning blasted them from the vent in the beige-colored wall. He led Ruth down the hallway and into the living room near the back of his condo.

Ruth squeezed his hand, which spoke more than any words she could say. He set the packet down on his coffee table, knowing in his heart it was right for Ruth to be there also. Without her, he wouldn’t be ready to face or understand what the letters said. He motioned for her to sit on the love seat, sitting kitty-corner from the sofa. “Would you like something to drink?”

“A glass of water would be great,” Ruth responded. Noah noticed her surveying the decidedly masculine room. How well she fit into his life and into his home astounded him. After he opened the letters and put a final closure on Jeremy’s death, Noah was determined to explore this attraction between them.

“Make yourself at home. I’ll be right back.”

Returning from the kitchen, Noah put two glasses of water and a bag of chips on the coffee table before moving the decorative pillow that Houston had knocked over to the other side of the dark brown leather couch.

Then he sat down, ripped open the bag, pulled out a chip and shoved it into his mouth. As he chewed, his gaze transfixed on the manila envelope sitting so innocently on the wood surface. Even though he knew what it contained, he still recoiled.

Confirmation of his guilt.

The letters inside held the information of where the coordinator had scattered Jeremy’s organs. Once he read them, it would be impossible to go back. What if his son hadn’t really died? What if the doctors could have done more? What if
he
could have done more? What if grief consumed him as thousands of imaginary glass shards shredded his emotions?

Ruth said that it wasn’t possible. That brain death was irreversible. That there was nothing else anyone could
have done but take what organs still functioned and give them to someone else. Give someone else a chance.