Onyx (37 page)

“I really don’t know.” His thumb chased after a tear on my cheek as he smiled slightly. “I don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring, what a year from now is going to be like. Hell, we may end up killing each other over something stupid next week. It’s a possibility. But all I do know is what I feel for you isn’t going anywhere.”

Hearing that only made me cry harder. He bent his head, kissing the tears away until he caught each of them with his breath. Then his lips found mine and the room fell away. The whole world disappeared for those precious moments. I wanted to throw myself into the kiss, but I couldn’t. I pulled away, dragging in air.

“How can you still want me?” I said.

Daemon pressed his forehead against mine. “Oh, I still want to strangle you. But I’m insane. You’re crazy. Maybe that’s why. We just make crazy together.”

“That makes no sense.”

“It kind of does, to me at least.” He kissed me again. “It might have to do with the fact you finally admitted you’re deeply and irrevocably in love with me.”

I let out a weak, shaky laugh. “I
so
did not admit that.”

“Not in so many words, but we both know it’s true. And I’m okay with it.”

“You are?” I closed my eyes, breathing in what felt like the first real breath in months. Maybe years. “It’s the same for you?”

His answer was to kiss me…and to kiss me again. When he finally lifted his head, we were on his bed and I was in his arms. I had no recollection of moving. That was how good his kisses were. I had to wait until my heart slowed down. “This doesn’t change anything I’ve done. All of this is still my fault.”

Daemon was on his side beside me, his hand on the material covering my stomach. “It’s not all your fault. It’s all of ours. And we’re in this together. We’ll face whatever is waiting for us together.”

My heart did a wild dance at those words. “Us?”

He nodded, working on the buttons of my sweater, laughing softly when he came to where they were buttoned incorrectly. “If there is anything, there is
us
.”

I lifted my shoulders, and he helped me shrug out of the sweater. “And what does ’us’ really mean?”

“You and me.” Daemon moved down, tugging off my boots. “No one else.”

Blood pounded as I yanked off my socks and lay back down. “I…I kind of like the sound of that.”

“Kind of?” His hand was on my stomach, slipping down, moving under the hem of my shirt. “Kind of isn’t good enough.”

“Okay.” I jerked when his fingers splayed across my skin. “I do like that.”

“So do I.” He lowered his head, kissing me softly. “I bet you love that.”

My lips curved into a smile against his. “I do.”

Making a deep sound in the back of his throat, Daemon trailed kisses over my still-damp cheek that scalded my skin and lit a fire. We whispered to each other, the words slowly stitching together the aching hole in my chest. I think they were doing the same for him. I told him everything Blake had said and done. He told me how angry he’d been just seeing me around Blake, confused and even hurt. The truths he admitted, I kept them close to my heart.

The fear he’d felt when he saw the Arum and Blake this weekend was in every slight, delicate touch of his fingers. Those precious words may not have been spoken up until then, but love was in every touch, every soft moan. I didn’t need him to say it, because I was surrounded in his love for me.

Time stopped for us. The world and everything I’d been part of only existed outside the closed bedroom door, but in here, it was only us. And for the first time, there was nothing between us. We were open, vulnerable to each other. Pieces of our clothing disappeared. His shirt. Mine. A button came undone on his jeans…and on mine, too.

“You have no idea how badly I want this.” His voice was rough against my cheek. Raw. “I think I’ve actually dreamed about it.” The tips of his fingers drifted over my chest, down my stomach. “Crazy, huh?”

Everything felt crazy. Being in his arms like this when I’d truly believed he’d never forgive me. I lifted my hand, running my fingers down his cheek. He turned to the touch, pressing his lips against the palm of my hand. And when his head lowered to mine again, I sparked alive under him, only for him.

As our kisses deepened and our explorations grew, we got lost in how our bodies moved against each other, how we couldn’t get close enough. The clothes that we still wore were a hindrance I wanted to be rid of, because I was ready to take that next step and I could feel that Daemon was, too. Tomorrow or next week wasn’t guaranteed. Not that it ever was, but for us, things really weren’t looking in our favor. There really was only now, and I wanted to seize the moment and live in it. I wanted to share the moment with Daemon—to share everything with him.

His hands…his kisses were completely undoing me. And when his hand moved down my stomach, slipping even farther down, I opened my eyes, his name barely a whisper. A faint whitish-red glow outlined his body, throwing shadows along the walls of his bedroom. There was something soul-burningly beautiful about being on the brink of losing control, tumbling over into the unknown, and I wanted to fall and never resurface.

But Daemon stopped.

I stared up at him, running my hands over the hard planes of his stomach. “What?”

“You…you’re not going to believe me.” He pressed another sweet and tender kiss against my lips. “But I want to do this right.”

I started to smile. “I doubt you could do this wrong.”

Daemon’s lips stretched into a smug half grin. “Yeah, I’m not talking about
that
. That I will do perfectly, but I want to… I want us to have what normal couples have.”

Stupid, damnable tears rushed to my eyes, and I blinked them back. Oh dear God, I was going to bawl like a baby.

Cupping my cheek, he let out a strangled sound. “And the last thing I want to do is stop, but I want to take you out—go on a date or something. I don’t want what we’re about to do to be overshadowed by everything else.”

With what looked like a great amount of effort, Daemon lifted off me and eased down on his side. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me back against him. His lips grazed my temple. “Okay?”

Tipping my head back, I looked into his bottle-green eyes. This…this was more than okay. And it took me several tries to speak, because my throat was burning with emotion. “I think I might love you.”

Daemon’s arm tightened around me as he kissed my flushed cheek. “Told you.”

Not what I expected as a response.

He chuckled, rolling onto his side—onto me, really. “My bet—I won. I told you that you’d tell me you loved me on New Year’s Day.”

Looping my arms around his neck, I shook my head. “No. You lost.”

Daemon frowned. “How do you figure?”

“Look at the time.” I tipped my chin toward the clock. “It’s past midnight. It’s January second. You lost.”

For several moments he stared at the clock like it was an Arum he was about to blast into the next county, and then his eyes found mine. Daemon smiled. “No. I didn’t lose. I still won.”

I crept back into my house right before six in the morning, feeling airy and…happy. I needed to shower and get ready for school. There was a part of me that felt wrong for the smile on my face. Should I be content after everything? I wasn’t sure. It didn’t seem fair.

And I needed to see Dee.

After I stepped out of the steamy bathroom wrapped in my robe, I wasn’t startled when I saw Daemon lounging on my bed, freshly showered and changed. At some point, I’d felt him.

I made my way over to the bed. “What are you doing?”

He patted the spot beside him, and I crawled onto my knees. “We need to stick close together over the next couple of weeks. I wouldn’t be surprised if the DOD shows. We’re safer together.”

“Is that the only reason?”

A lazy, indulgent grin played across his lips as he tugged on the belt of my robe. “Not the only reason. Probably the smartest, but definitely not the most pressing.”

Things had changed between us in a matter of hours. We talked more last night…and kissed some more before falling asleep in each other’s arms. Now, there was an openness, a partnership in things. He was still a total smartass. And yeah, that smug grin still irked me.

But I loved him.

And the jerk loved me, too.

Daemon sat up and pulled me into his lap. He kissed my forehead. “What are you thinking?”

I burrowed my head into the space between his shoulder and neck. “A lot of things. Do…do you think it’s wrong to be happy right now?”

His arms tightened. “Well, I wouldn’t send out a mass text message or anything.”

I rolled my eyes.

“And I’m not entirely happy. I don’t think I’ve really come to terms with everything. Adam was…” He trailed off, his throat working.

“I liked him,” I whispered. “I don’t expect Dee to ever forgive me, but I want to see her. I need to make sure she’s okay.”

“She’ll forgive you. She needs time.” His lips moved against my temple, and my heart squeezed. “Dee knew you tried to warn her off. She called me when you told her to leave, and I told her and Adam to stay out of there, but they parked the car down the street and came back. They made that choice, and I know she’d do it again.”

My throat tightened. “There are so many things I wouldn’t do again.”

“I know.” He placed two fingers under my chin, tipping my head back. “We can’t focus on that now. It’s not going to do any good.”

I stretched up, kissing his lips. “I want to see Dee after school.”

“What are you doing for lunch?”

“Other than eating? Nothing.”

“Good. We’re skipping.”

“Going to see Dee, right?”

His smile turned wicked. “Yeah, but first, there are things I want to do, and we don’t have nearly enough time for that now.”

I arched a brow. “Are you going to try to squeeze in dinner and a movie then?”

“Kitten, your mind is a terrible and dirty place. I was thinking we could go for a stroll or something.”

“Tease,” I murmured and started to stand, but he held me there.

“Say it.”

“Say what?” I asked.

“Tell me what you told me earlier.”

My heart leaped into my throat. I’d told him a lot of things, but I knew what he wanted to hear. “I love you.”

His eyes darkened a second before he kissed me until I was ready to say screw the whole doing-right-by-me thing. “That’s all I ever need to hear.”

“Those three words?”

“Always those three words.”

…

News of Adam’s passing hadn’t hit the school yet, and I wasn’t telling anyone other than Lesa and Carissa. The story was he had died in a car accident. Police would back it up if questions were asked. My friends took it like expected. There were a lot of tears, and again I was surprised that my eyes could still fill with them.

Daemon poked me once in class to remind me of our lunch plans, and then one more time because he felt like it. Layers of guilt followed me through most of morning classes, alternating with brief moments of exhilaration. I knew that even if Dee forgave me, it wouldn’t change anything. I needed to come to terms with the role I’d played.

But I also knew I couldn’t stop living.

When I entered bio, I met Matthew’s eyes. There was a twitch to his lips before he opened up his grade book. Lesa was abnormally subdued due to what I’d told her. Halfway through class, the intercom kicked on.

The school secretary’s voice rang out. “Katy Swartz is needed in the principal’s office, Mr. Garrison.”

A jolt of unease pierced my stomach as I grabbed my bag. Shrugging at Lesa’s look, I passed Matthew a near-panicked one as I headed out. I sent Daemon a quick text from my mom’s cell that she’d given me that morning, letting him know I was being called to the office. I didn’t expect him to respond back. I wasn’t even sure he had his cell with him.

The gray-haired secretary was rocking a Brigitte Bardot hairstyle and a bright pink sweater. I leaned against the counter, waiting for her to look up. When she did, she squinted through her spectacles. “Can I help you?”

“I’m Katy. I was called to the office?”

“Oh! Oh, yes, come on, dear.” There was compassion in her tone as she stood. She hobbled toward Principal Plummer’s office. “Right this way.”

I couldn’t see through the glass windows, so I had no idea what was waiting for me when she threw all her weight behind opening the door. I marked off any job in the school system in my future if she hadn’t been able to retire at her age.

Principal Plummer sat behind his desk, smiling at whoever was seated on the other side. My gaze followed his, and I was shocked to see Will.

“What’s going on?” I asked, twisting my backpack’s strap against my shoulder.

Will came to his feet quickly and rushed to my side. He clasped my free hand. “Kellie’s been in an accident.”

“No,” I think I gasped. Alarm pounded at my sides as I stared at him. “What do you mean? Is she okay?”

His expression was pained and haggard as he avoided meeting my eyes. “She left work this morning, and they think she hit a patch of ice.”

“How bad is it?” My voice wobbled. All I could see was Dad—Dad in a hospital bed, pale and frail, the smell of death that clung to the walls and the hushed voices of the nurses…and then the mannequin in the coffin that sort of resembled Dad but couldn’t have been him. Now all those memories were replaced with Mom.
This can’t be happening.

Will curved a hand over my shoulders, gently turning me around. We were walking out of the office, but I wasn’t conscious of any of it. “She’s in the ER. That’s all I know.”

“You have to know more than that.” I didn’t recognize my own voice. “Is she awake? Talking? Does she need to have surgery?”

He shook his head, opening the door. Outside the snow had stopped, and plows were clearing the parking lot. The air was frigid, but I didn’t feel it. I was numb. Will led me to a tan Yukon I didn’t recognize. Unease trickled in, and a horrible thought struck me. I halted a few feet from the passenger side.

“Did you get a new car?” I asked.

He frowned as he opened the car door. “No. I use this during the winter. Perfect for snowy roads. I tried to tell your mother to get something like this other than that damn matchbox she drives.”

Feeling stupid and paranoid, I nodded. It made sense. A lot of people had their “winter” vehicle around here. And with everything that had happened, I’d forgotten about what I’d discovered about Will—his sickness.

I climbed in, clutching my bag to my chest after I buckled my seat belt. Then I remembered Daemon. I checked the phone and saw there wasn’t a reply yet. I sent him another quick text, telling him that Mom was in an accident. I’d call him and leave a more detailed message once I knew how…how bad things were.

I choked on a breath when I thought about losing her.

Will rubbed his hands together before he turned the key. The radio came on immediately. It was a weather broadcast. The man’s voice coming from the speakers was cheery. I hated him. Meteorologists were watching a Nor’easter forming in the South, slated to slam into West Virginia early next week.

“What hospital is she at?” I asked.

“Winchester,” he said, twisting around as he reached for something in the backseat.

I stared straight ahead, trying to keep the panic at bay.
She’s going to be okay. She has to be. She’ll be okay.
My lips trembled. Why weren’t we already on the damn road?

“Katy?”

I faced him. “What?”

“I’m really sorry about this,” he said, his face expressionless.

“She’s going to be okay, right?” My breath caught again. Maybe he wasn’t telling me the worse of it. Maybe she was…

“Your mom is going to be fine.”

There wasn’t time for me to feel relief or to question what he said. He leaned forward, and I saw a long, scary-looking needle. I jerked back in the seat, but I wasn’t fast enough. Will pushed the needle into the side of my neck. There was a pinch, and then coolness rushed through my veins, followed by a faint burning sensation.

I knocked his hand away, or I thought I did. Either way, the needle was gone from his hand, and he was watching me curiously. My hand fluttered to my neck. I couldn’t feel my pulse, but it beat through me wildly. “What…what did you do?”

Hands on the steering wheel, he pulled out of the school parking lot without answering. I asked him again. At least I think I did, but I wasn’t sure. The road up ahead blurred in a kaleidoscope of white and gray. My fingers slipped over the door handle. I couldn’t will them to work, and then I couldn’t keep my eyes open.

Calling upon the Source was out of the question. Darkness crept into the corners of my eyes, and I fought it with every ounce of the strength I had left. If I lost consciousness I knew it was all over, but I couldn’t keep my head from listing to the side.

My last thought was,
Implants are everywhere
.